Disclaimer: Any recognizable names belong to George Lucas. I have no
special permission to write this story and am not making any money from it.
Chapter 5
Qui Gon had opened himself to physical attack but that was so unimportant as to be symbolic. He let the radiating aura of light he had built around himself fall, his inner essence as vulnerable as his body and challenged the dark thing to destroy him from within.
When he had first realized something like this would probably be necessary, he had not bothered to think of what the attack might be like. It was indescribably worse than he could have possibly imagined, anyway. The living dark poured into him like a river of poison. A coldness that seared like a branding iron filled Qui Gon's world. The dark thing plunged straight to his bared core and sunk in its fangs.
So much hate. So much death. So much brutal horror. Trapped by chance, too strong to fade away, lingering in the force, acid, bitter, sickly sweet emotions and energy, fermenting together over centuries. Magnified until it was no longer chance that brought out the darkness. An ancient whisper of evil that was now almost as much sentient being as he was. All this Qui Gon felt, and it was agony to his sensitive soul. Everything in his mind and heart rebelled against it. It tested all his years of iron jedi discipline nearly to the breaking point not to fight in violent, disgusted, denial, to simply wait, but he did. It was too late for shielding, for repelling the darkness. If he tried to fight back now, his own defense would allow it to destroy him. This was every time he had faced a darksider and refused to let fear or hate make him like them. It was every time he reached out to someone desperate, in need, knowing they might abuse his kindness or leave him with a vibro dagger buried between his ribs. It was partly nothing like either of those things, and yet had its roots in both.
But for all his strength and control of the Force he finally shattered under the assault, his flame ripped into a cloud of sparks spiraling away into a vast and ravenous nothingness. Embers, fragments of a sentiency that had once been called Qui Gon Jinn, tumbling downward in an abyss so deep there was no longer any surface to it, no way up. One by one, blazing points of light flickered and dimmed, one by one, went out as they fell. Drifting like a ghost the last spark lost in the monstrous darkness faded out. But darkness does not rule everything that falls into it.
Then the fire and the light burning in the void. A conflagration, fierce and brilliant, ignited out of the darkness. A column of fire burned high with the heat of a suns core, vital with the heat that drove life, roaring up through the depths, hurling the shadows away. His utter lack of fear, his denial of its power robbed it of strength. He had allowed the thing to attack his spirit, and his spirit caught it like a net. He didn't fight it, he absorbed it.
Obi Wan felt a disturbance so powerful and strange that the Force seemed to twist and splinter. He felt the sly dark energy whipped into a fury like a cyclone, felt it tearing his Master apart. He saw Qui Gon go limp for a second, so quickly he didn't even stumble . . . and then it was over. The darkness was gone. There was not even the lingering black afterglow you could feel at places like Degobah. Not even an echo remained.
The Temple Master released him. "Your Master lives." She said, her voice soft and flat.
"Master, are you all right?" Obi Wan exclaimed dashing towards him. He stopped short a few feet from Qui Gon, somehow unable to go closer.
Qui Gon lifted his head toward him, his shoulders a little slumped.
"Yes, Obi Wan."
Obi Wan was overcome with relief, and amazement at seeing a small part of his understanding of the Force and the galaxy turned upside-down. But he couldn't help noticing the almost wary look in Qui Gon's eyes as he looked up at him.
The Temple Master stood, grim and solemn on a cairn of rock looking down on them, her staff held like a ceremonial lance. "I thank you now, Teacher, for what you have done for us. I will thank you again when it is over."
Qui Gon nodded once in understanding. Obi Wan looked at him questioningly but Qui Gon only said, "Let's go. We have a long walk back to the temple."
* * * * *
Flying in hyperspace made it look like the ship was plunging through a swirling tunnel of glowing clouds. A spiral like a glowing Mandela, drawing you forever inward. The light and shadow reflected, flickering in Qui Gon's eyes as he sat silently in the cockpit, his rough dark brown robes gathered around him like an animal's shaggy pelt. He was silent, he watched, he listened patiently. The play of hyperspace was almost hypnotic; he had been here for hours.
He had prepared himself to spend the trip back to Coruscant feeling deathly ill. As he had told Obi Wan, he had performed exorcisms like this before, but he hadn't told Obi Wan that he had never taken anything like this, anything so powerful and purely malevolent into himself. The first time he had absorbed the conflicting, unbalanced energy that tended to build up in the temple's sparing halls, med-bays, and meeting rooms, it had left him miserable, sickened, shaking and clammy like a spice junky in withdrawal. He had been just an inexperienced Knight then, but he had grimly expected the same thing this time, maybe worse. Yet he only felt as strangely clear and calm as the eye of a storm.
He searched hyperspace, musing, as close as a Jedi gets to dreaming. Watched the shadows swirling in the light, drawing him inward. And for a moment as he drifted what he saw framed in the porthole not what was outside but what was within him. For a moment he thought he saw the same thing, shadows swirling in light. His half closed eyes opened suddenly. He felt nothing but fine still light, saw nothing but mottled hyperspace again. Maybe it was nothing, but that chill he had felt leaving Ferrio . . . . He would wait and see.
* * * * *
Home. The word soothed Obi Wan's mind. Returning home to Coruscant always felt good, felt right to him. He gave a contented sigh as he stood in the doorway of their quarters, appreciating the safe peaceful place, and walked unhurried to the center of the common room. There was the familiar old couch in the corner, a couple of mats on the floor for meditation or light exercise, and the view outside to the glittering towers and streaming air traffic of the capital. A row of pegs was on the wall by the door for them to hang their robes from. One corner was filled with a counter, shelves and cubbies that stored data cards, a few precious books, and non- perishable food. A door beside the window led out onto the terraces that wrapped around the pyramidal temple, and there was a small gnarled reddish barked tree growing in a large blue ceramic pot next to it. Qui Gon drank tea made from its leaves every morning with his breakfast. And even more important than the comforting physical surroundings, was the sense of both there personalities that seemed to have seeped into the walls and floor themselves.
Qui Gon followed behind him, disappearing into his private cell. Obi Wan gazed out the window for a moment, idly wondering what would be requested of them next, then also went to his own room and put away his travel gear. A few minuets latter he emerged to find Qui Gon waiting for him, a backpack still over one shoulder.
"I am not finished with our mission yet, Obi Wan." He said, enigmatic, even though he honestly wasn't trying to be cryptic.
"How can that be? You destroyed the presence. What else is there left to do?"
"Not destroyed. Weakened and trapped. It is still here, I am its prison."
The furrow between Obi Wan's eyebrows deepened as he concentrated, scanning his Master's presence for veins of darkness. "I sense nothing."
"I can barely feel it myself, but it is there. I sensed something strange when we left Ferrio, now I am sure. I have go away for a while, purify myself of this thing. Then the vergence will be gone for good. I think."
Obi Wan suddenly remembered the searching look in Qui Gon's eyes after the dark vergence had attacked him. He remembered how quiet he had been on the flight home, spending most of his time in the ships cockpit. Sitting absolutely motionless for hours at a time, not in formal meditation, just . . . watching, as the ship flew through hyperspace. "Let me come with you, incase something goes wrong. We are stronger together. There must be something I can do."
Qui Gon shook his head. "No. You could not help me and might hurt me, or be hurt needlessly yourself. I will need solitude for this."
Obi Wan nodded, against his frustration and best judgment. Qui Gon presumably knew what he was doing, but the idea of his Master slipping quietly away to face some soul-devouring monster in isolation sounded like dangerous lunacy.
"When are you coming back?"
"A few days, a month, I can't be certain." He gave Obi Wan an evaluating stare, realizing he needed more reassurance. "You need not fear for me, Obi Wan. As long as I have the Force I will not be alone. Don't morn my death while I'm still breathing." He said gently.
Obi Wan's face was still grim, but he nodded. "Yes, Master."
Qui Gon smiled a little, then turned and crossed the room in a few long strides.
"Master?"
He stopped in the doorway. "Yes?"
"Do you know how to defeat this thing?" Qui Gon looked over his shoulder and smiled. "No. I will have to figure something out."
Obi Wan looked away frowning as Qui Gon left. His Master had such wild, spooky power. He was a great Jedi, Obi Wan was sure of it. But he seemed so eager to dissipate his strength, so unwilling to take full advantage of it. Obi Wan felt somehow that he could be more than he was. He had once thought Qui Gon wanted to be on the Jedi Council very deeply. How could he not, when he was so opinionated about matters of the code? But now he wasn't so sure that his Master would take a Council chair if one was offered to him. It seemed it was that way with everything. Qui Gon seemed to deny himself what he could so easily have, what Obi Wan couldn't imagine him not wanting. He was so wise, and yet stupid enough the to waste his gifts. He was so reckless with himself, and the universe had shown little inclination to be careful with him.
And yet somehow he always walked out of the fire. He had few permanent scars and wore those he had as proudly as a Tagorian. He wished nothing less for his Master, but it infuriated Obi Wan to no end.
Obi Wan sighed, drawing on the Force to try still the emotions that were starting to gnaw at him. He would just have to hope that his Master would walk out of the fire this one more time.
Chapter 5
Qui Gon had opened himself to physical attack but that was so unimportant as to be symbolic. He let the radiating aura of light he had built around himself fall, his inner essence as vulnerable as his body and challenged the dark thing to destroy him from within.
When he had first realized something like this would probably be necessary, he had not bothered to think of what the attack might be like. It was indescribably worse than he could have possibly imagined, anyway. The living dark poured into him like a river of poison. A coldness that seared like a branding iron filled Qui Gon's world. The dark thing plunged straight to his bared core and sunk in its fangs.
So much hate. So much death. So much brutal horror. Trapped by chance, too strong to fade away, lingering in the force, acid, bitter, sickly sweet emotions and energy, fermenting together over centuries. Magnified until it was no longer chance that brought out the darkness. An ancient whisper of evil that was now almost as much sentient being as he was. All this Qui Gon felt, and it was agony to his sensitive soul. Everything in his mind and heart rebelled against it. It tested all his years of iron jedi discipline nearly to the breaking point not to fight in violent, disgusted, denial, to simply wait, but he did. It was too late for shielding, for repelling the darkness. If he tried to fight back now, his own defense would allow it to destroy him. This was every time he had faced a darksider and refused to let fear or hate make him like them. It was every time he reached out to someone desperate, in need, knowing they might abuse his kindness or leave him with a vibro dagger buried between his ribs. It was partly nothing like either of those things, and yet had its roots in both.
But for all his strength and control of the Force he finally shattered under the assault, his flame ripped into a cloud of sparks spiraling away into a vast and ravenous nothingness. Embers, fragments of a sentiency that had once been called Qui Gon Jinn, tumbling downward in an abyss so deep there was no longer any surface to it, no way up. One by one, blazing points of light flickered and dimmed, one by one, went out as they fell. Drifting like a ghost the last spark lost in the monstrous darkness faded out. But darkness does not rule everything that falls into it.
Then the fire and the light burning in the void. A conflagration, fierce and brilliant, ignited out of the darkness. A column of fire burned high with the heat of a suns core, vital with the heat that drove life, roaring up through the depths, hurling the shadows away. His utter lack of fear, his denial of its power robbed it of strength. He had allowed the thing to attack his spirit, and his spirit caught it like a net. He didn't fight it, he absorbed it.
Obi Wan felt a disturbance so powerful and strange that the Force seemed to twist and splinter. He felt the sly dark energy whipped into a fury like a cyclone, felt it tearing his Master apart. He saw Qui Gon go limp for a second, so quickly he didn't even stumble . . . and then it was over. The darkness was gone. There was not even the lingering black afterglow you could feel at places like Degobah. Not even an echo remained.
The Temple Master released him. "Your Master lives." She said, her voice soft and flat.
"Master, are you all right?" Obi Wan exclaimed dashing towards him. He stopped short a few feet from Qui Gon, somehow unable to go closer.
Qui Gon lifted his head toward him, his shoulders a little slumped.
"Yes, Obi Wan."
Obi Wan was overcome with relief, and amazement at seeing a small part of his understanding of the Force and the galaxy turned upside-down. But he couldn't help noticing the almost wary look in Qui Gon's eyes as he looked up at him.
The Temple Master stood, grim and solemn on a cairn of rock looking down on them, her staff held like a ceremonial lance. "I thank you now, Teacher, for what you have done for us. I will thank you again when it is over."
Qui Gon nodded once in understanding. Obi Wan looked at him questioningly but Qui Gon only said, "Let's go. We have a long walk back to the temple."
* * * * *
Flying in hyperspace made it look like the ship was plunging through a swirling tunnel of glowing clouds. A spiral like a glowing Mandela, drawing you forever inward. The light and shadow reflected, flickering in Qui Gon's eyes as he sat silently in the cockpit, his rough dark brown robes gathered around him like an animal's shaggy pelt. He was silent, he watched, he listened patiently. The play of hyperspace was almost hypnotic; he had been here for hours.
He had prepared himself to spend the trip back to Coruscant feeling deathly ill. As he had told Obi Wan, he had performed exorcisms like this before, but he hadn't told Obi Wan that he had never taken anything like this, anything so powerful and purely malevolent into himself. The first time he had absorbed the conflicting, unbalanced energy that tended to build up in the temple's sparing halls, med-bays, and meeting rooms, it had left him miserable, sickened, shaking and clammy like a spice junky in withdrawal. He had been just an inexperienced Knight then, but he had grimly expected the same thing this time, maybe worse. Yet he only felt as strangely clear and calm as the eye of a storm.
He searched hyperspace, musing, as close as a Jedi gets to dreaming. Watched the shadows swirling in the light, drawing him inward. And for a moment as he drifted what he saw framed in the porthole not what was outside but what was within him. For a moment he thought he saw the same thing, shadows swirling in light. His half closed eyes opened suddenly. He felt nothing but fine still light, saw nothing but mottled hyperspace again. Maybe it was nothing, but that chill he had felt leaving Ferrio . . . . He would wait and see.
* * * * *
Home. The word soothed Obi Wan's mind. Returning home to Coruscant always felt good, felt right to him. He gave a contented sigh as he stood in the doorway of their quarters, appreciating the safe peaceful place, and walked unhurried to the center of the common room. There was the familiar old couch in the corner, a couple of mats on the floor for meditation or light exercise, and the view outside to the glittering towers and streaming air traffic of the capital. A row of pegs was on the wall by the door for them to hang their robes from. One corner was filled with a counter, shelves and cubbies that stored data cards, a few precious books, and non- perishable food. A door beside the window led out onto the terraces that wrapped around the pyramidal temple, and there was a small gnarled reddish barked tree growing in a large blue ceramic pot next to it. Qui Gon drank tea made from its leaves every morning with his breakfast. And even more important than the comforting physical surroundings, was the sense of both there personalities that seemed to have seeped into the walls and floor themselves.
Qui Gon followed behind him, disappearing into his private cell. Obi Wan gazed out the window for a moment, idly wondering what would be requested of them next, then also went to his own room and put away his travel gear. A few minuets latter he emerged to find Qui Gon waiting for him, a backpack still over one shoulder.
"I am not finished with our mission yet, Obi Wan." He said, enigmatic, even though he honestly wasn't trying to be cryptic.
"How can that be? You destroyed the presence. What else is there left to do?"
"Not destroyed. Weakened and trapped. It is still here, I am its prison."
The furrow between Obi Wan's eyebrows deepened as he concentrated, scanning his Master's presence for veins of darkness. "I sense nothing."
"I can barely feel it myself, but it is there. I sensed something strange when we left Ferrio, now I am sure. I have go away for a while, purify myself of this thing. Then the vergence will be gone for good. I think."
Obi Wan suddenly remembered the searching look in Qui Gon's eyes after the dark vergence had attacked him. He remembered how quiet he had been on the flight home, spending most of his time in the ships cockpit. Sitting absolutely motionless for hours at a time, not in formal meditation, just . . . watching, as the ship flew through hyperspace. "Let me come with you, incase something goes wrong. We are stronger together. There must be something I can do."
Qui Gon shook his head. "No. You could not help me and might hurt me, or be hurt needlessly yourself. I will need solitude for this."
Obi Wan nodded, against his frustration and best judgment. Qui Gon presumably knew what he was doing, but the idea of his Master slipping quietly away to face some soul-devouring monster in isolation sounded like dangerous lunacy.
"When are you coming back?"
"A few days, a month, I can't be certain." He gave Obi Wan an evaluating stare, realizing he needed more reassurance. "You need not fear for me, Obi Wan. As long as I have the Force I will not be alone. Don't morn my death while I'm still breathing." He said gently.
Obi Wan's face was still grim, but he nodded. "Yes, Master."
Qui Gon smiled a little, then turned and crossed the room in a few long strides.
"Master?"
He stopped in the doorway. "Yes?"
"Do you know how to defeat this thing?" Qui Gon looked over his shoulder and smiled. "No. I will have to figure something out."
Obi Wan looked away frowning as Qui Gon left. His Master had such wild, spooky power. He was a great Jedi, Obi Wan was sure of it. But he seemed so eager to dissipate his strength, so unwilling to take full advantage of it. Obi Wan felt somehow that he could be more than he was. He had once thought Qui Gon wanted to be on the Jedi Council very deeply. How could he not, when he was so opinionated about matters of the code? But now he wasn't so sure that his Master would take a Council chair if one was offered to him. It seemed it was that way with everything. Qui Gon seemed to deny himself what he could so easily have, what Obi Wan couldn't imagine him not wanting. He was so wise, and yet stupid enough the to waste his gifts. He was so reckless with himself, and the universe had shown little inclination to be careful with him.
And yet somehow he always walked out of the fire. He had few permanent scars and wore those he had as proudly as a Tagorian. He wished nothing less for his Master, but it infuriated Obi Wan to no end.
Obi Wan sighed, drawing on the Force to try still the emotions that were starting to gnaw at him. He would just have to hope that his Master would walk out of the fire this one more time.