AN: Rated for mentions of homosexuality and swearing. Read at your peril. Also do I continue? Do you like? Any major flaws or is it just to boring. I blame reading Anita Blake novels and Thursday Next books for this. Please review.

Disclaimer: I disclaim all but the MI7 and characters I have invented. Two so far: Eric and Holly. Yey!

Sometimes the way forward is in fact the way backwards. So therefore the way backwards is the way forwards. And nothing is never ever what it seems...

Just think of the film. The Labyrinth, Jareths' Labyrinth. It's a maze of illusions and images. And note the fact that Sarah goes through the wall to get in to the Labyrinth that logically should mean she goes back out of the Labyrinth. This should technically be left on the red sandbanks facing a sign that says 'no rude bitches in here, ta very much!'

So, if you find yourself standing on that bleak hill, feeling a big dollop of guilt and possibly a little bit of love you would have a single-mindedness to get through that Labyrinth and kick a poor Goblin Kings butt.

Unfortunately for me I was just a cadet in training for the infamous MI7. The one that deals with other worlds.

I said 'lets go that way', and pointed away from where the Labyrinth seemed to be. When they ignored me I went down anyway, and I found myself in the Goblin City. When the others came to get me back because they'd found the way into the Labyrinth they where astounded.

It's not that difficult to realise that the Labyrinth is a Labyrinth of your mind. Some people need a physical task, miles and miles of impossible obstacles. Well, me, I've never been fond of unnecessary work.

Through the Goblin City we scurried to take back that dummy representing the child we had to claim for our Standard Training Operation. Jareths chagrin was sort of funny viewed safely from the other world. Our superiors weren't happy either. The object of the Labyrinth lesson was to free our minds from how earth had trapped them and teach us to be humble.

So, true to our friendly nature in the MI7 everyone knows that I am the one that beat and figured out Jareths Labyrinth, and he knows it to. I'm not his favourite person.

Come to think of it I don't think I'm anyone's favourite person.

Extract from Commander Holly Venus

I stared blank eyed at the clock, my mind raging a tirade of all the trooper expressions I'd picked up since I'd blundered into the ranks.

It had been an accident, honest. Just typically me to boot. The first time ever, that I am drunk on my nineteenth birthday and what do I do? Nope! I don't get a tattoo bad or other wise, no I don't go and destroy something and no, I don't get to break the law.

I just enrol myself along with a dubious drinking companion that I meet somewhere into the MI7. The secret service unit that deals with threats from other worlds.

And that was the year that they gave cadets training in a real other world. The Underground, in the Labyrinth to precise. Getting out of that one was a close one. Now they all have 'high hopes'. In reality they just want to see me fall and fall and fall... until I smash.

And that's why I'm staring at this nifty thirteen houred clock brisling with rage to over come my fear.

His Majesty, the Goblin King of the Underground requested that I act as the negotiator. I mean, now I'm a Commander I can sit at a desk and do paper work and get paid lots thank-you-very-much. Instead they decide that I have that Labyrinthine way of thinking that will come out on top.

Really it was just a nerd with no friends watching and re-watching the video. The Goblin King in that was sooo much nicer. David Bowie at his best. The real thing though? Well, over-sexed, arrogant to the point of extreme and chauvinist don't do him justice.

The clock chimed a steady, heavy thirteen o'clock. The bastard was late.

"I'm not late." He sounded so amused by it. And he could read some of my thought... "Didn't you always want a clock like this?" His voice, not the question, that was the important thing. It made me want to kneel at his feet, touch his boots and beg for all that the voice offered. Silk flowing like water over fevered flesh. An inferno of desire all for me...

I managed, barely shake off the Mesmer.

It was a good thing that I was the job and the job only. I didn't have any erotic fantasies to do with the real Goblin King. But why did they send me here? When someone more diplomatic and sure of them selves could have done it? What does he want?

I blinked the questions away and opened my eyes a second later. He had moved from behind me and was kissing my hand like a gallant butterfly. His thin mouth was caressing my hardened knuckles causing goose pimples to crawl away with my skin. His ever changing mismatched eyes where a mystical players gaze of jewel green and deep, sky blue. Symbols of freedom. His platinum was spiky, seemingly of its own free will that softened his ageless face and topped his tall, thin and muscular frame. His black cloak swirled harshly against his leather outfit.

I rudely snatched my hand away and really wished I were home. "What do you want?"

He raised his crescent eyebrow patterns at me. "They didn't tell you?" he sounded pitying and...mocking. Was this revenge? Why would he want revenge? Okay, he doesn't need a reason...

He quirked his head a smiled a broader wolfs grin. "Would you care to retire and change into something more suitable," he looked pointedly at my jeans and tee shirt, "and we can... discuss the matter." A damn timely pause and a slurred insult. Just when I was beginning to think he was ill...

I took a deep breath and let it out, mentally toning down my answer. By the time it came out of my lips the swear words where deleted and it was even polite. The same way he was polite. "I would care to discuss business now and I hardly think you need complain about how I dress." I looked pointedly at his clothes thinking as hard as I could leather pants are GAY!

He didn't look too happy. Could it be that a certain Goblin King is homophobic? Either way, he was silent, just watching me intently.

"What do you want me to do?" I simplified for him. I fizzled up at the look on his face. "I'm sure you could find a brothel even here. Or maybe Eric..." Eric is the only blatantly gay guy in the MI services. Poor guy, they can make it hell for him. He's one of my few friends.

But now he was looking as mad as I was. Madder, it was instant fury that beat my puny little spark. I always got myself into these situations. All mouth and no bite. That's me. I tried subtly.

"I apologise for the implied insult if you apologise for your implied insult." Or, in proud guy short hand I'd opened the means to let it slide. Clever me.

I blinked again, and wouldn't have noted the natural function I do every few seconds or so if I hadn't have changed location. I was standing in an ornate large room that would be hell to keep warm in these archaic times without magic. I ignored the niceties of the room and took in the details. It was a security nightmare. Lots of cover for people who don't like me to hide behind and in. Add elf-boy...

If they wanted to get ride of me surly they could just offer me a pension?

But I was here, and I had a suitcase full of guns. It made me feel just like Anita Blake.

Not really. Anita Blake would be able to figure out all of the details and go home to yet more trouble...

Shit. What the hell was I going to do?