Author's Note: Thanks(again!) to all those kind enough to leave feedback. It's the fuel that keeps me going. Also, updates will be few and far between most likely until probably the end of this month. Sorry!
---
Cordelia looked at him, a look of total surprise on her face. "You what?!"
"I love you." Angel repeated. He rushed on. "And I know what you must be thinking. You're probably wondering why I waited until now to say anything. And you're probably going to tell me that it doesn't matter if you love me back or not.. because we're two very different people and things would never ever work out between us. You don't have to tell me, Cordy. I know. I've thought about this a million times... "
Cordelia closed her eyes and sighed softly. "Oh, Angel."
Angel looked at his feet. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
"No.. don't' be sorry. You've done nothing wrong."
"I just--I just wanted you to know." The music stopped abruptly and both Angel and Cordelia looked downstairs at the guests awaiting. Cordelia held up a finger as if to say, "Just a moment." Then, she turned to Angel.
"And I want you to know something."
"What?"
Cordy locked eyes with him. "I love you too. I never told you because I wasn't sure if you felt that way too. And I also knew that it probably wouldn't work out." She looked back downstairs and noticed the concerned look on Caden's face. 'It's okay,' she mouthed. Turning to face Angel, she went on. "Ad then.. I met Caden. It took a while.. but one day, I knew he was the one for me. That we were meant to be. I still love you, Angel, and I probably always will. I.. Well, I feel like you're my soulmate."
Angel smiled softly. Him--Cordelia's soulmate? Obviously that meant--
"But Caden's my HUMAN soulmate." She added.
Obviously, Angel had thought a little too early.
"Do you understand?" Cordelia asked him.
He'd loved her for nearly 8 years. Just like in romance novels. And he never acted on those feelings because he thought she'd always be around. Now, when he finally got the courage to confess his secret crush for her, he wasn't going to walk away with the girl. What more was there to understand? Angel didn't trust his voice at the moment, so he merely nodded.
"Shall we?"
"Um.. first.. could I get a hug?"
Cordy smiled. "Sure."
She leaned against him and he embraced her, holding her tightly. He kissed her cheek gently before releasing her. He offered his arm once more and she took it. The music started again, and they began their descent down the staircase.
When they reached the bottom, Cordy whispered softly, "Don't look so sad. After all, I'll always be Cordelia Chase, your vision girl."
At the end of the aisle, Cordy left his hand and took Caden's. As Angel walked to his designated chair, Cordelia flashed him one last reassuring smile. Before Angel sat down, he heard the official ask, "Who gives this woman to this man?"
Angel stared at Cordelia for a few seconds, not wanting to say the inevitable. Wesley nudged him with his elbow. "I-I do." Angel closed his eyes and sat down, hoping that the worst was over.
----
Meanwhile, Journey was not a happy camper. Having to stand thisclose to the man his mother was marrying was not having a good effect on him. His eyes bounced from his dad to Cordelia, and back again. The warning his father had issued was fresh on his mind.. but he had to do SOMETHING. Anything.
He couldn't do anything that his father could see, because that'd mean infinite death. There was no way he was going to endure days of Milo and Charlie if there were other ways he could stop this wedding. He tried to think of something he could do… and finally he remembered what he'd read in one of Uncle Wesley's books. It was sort of like mind reading.. but you say things in your mind to someone else and they'd hear and understand you. He figured it'd probably wouldn't work and he'd end up launching himself at Caden and spending three years with Milo and Charlie shackled to his side, but it was still worth a shot.
He closed his eyes and cleared his mind. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on sending a telepathic message to Cordelia. 'Please don't marry this man, please don't marry this man.' He chanted over and over in his mind. 'Please don't marry him, Cordelia, please.'
Cordelia, who just seconds before was listening intently to the Reverend, let a hand fly to her forehead. 'Please, don't let me have a vision now,' she pleaded silently. Sure that the pain she was experiencing was vision-induced, Cordelia steeled herself for the brutal images that were to come. She noticed Caden staring at her.
"What is it, Cor? Another migraine?" He asked softly.
Cordelia almost laughed. If only it was a migraine! Though she knew that they also hurt like hell, at least it didn't leave horrifying pictures in your head to haunt for nights to come. She managed a weak smile. "Yes.. but I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?" He gestured at the Reverend, who was also looking at Cordy. "We could postpone the wedding…."
"No. No, continue. Please." As the Reverend began once more, Cordy prepared herself for the vision. No matter how awful it felt, she was not going to cry out and ruin her own wedding. TPTB be damned.
But the vision never came. Instead, she heard a small voice at the back of her head.
'Please don't marry this man, please don't marry this man. Please don't marry him, Cordelia, please.'
Cordelia frowned. 'What in the world..'
'Please, Cordy. Don't marry this guy. Please.'
Why did that voice sound SO familiar?
'Stop this wedding. Now. For me.'
'Journey?' She glanced behind Caden's back at where Mr. RingBearer stood. His eyes were shut and his fist were clenched at his side, but he seemed to be chanting something over and over again, talking to himself.
'For Dad.'
Cordelia swallowed hard when she realized that no, it wasn't her imagination. Journey was actually speaking to her, pleading with her, and she was the only one to hear it! She was flattered by his valiant, yet somewhat weird effort. But like she told his father, she was meant to be with Caden. She wasn't sure how to tell Journey that without saying it aloud.
But, as she quickly found out, she didn't have to. Journey heard her thoughts loud and clear.
'So, you won't stop this wedding.?'
'No, Journey. I'm sorry.'
Journey felt his blood boil and he opened his eyes to let Cordelia see the anger held in them. 'I hate you.'
Cordelia was alarmed. 'What?'
'I hate you. I HATE you.' He repeated over and over again until suddenly, before either of them knew it, he yelled it for all to hear.
Cordelia simply stared, jaw hanging open. He'd never acted like this before. In fact, he'd never in his life raised his voice to her. She wasn't sure what to do… or what to say.
Caden, however, knelt before Journey. "What's wrong, son?"
"I'm not your 'son'." Journey yelled. "Now, leave me alone." And before anyone could stop him, Journey spit in Caden's face. Then he turned and ran down the aisle and up the stairs.
* * *
'Well, there he goes. My wonderful, intelligent, handsome, bratty, and rude son, who I'll now have the unhappy pleasure of torturing. I know I should probably follow him.. but oh well. He knows what's coming and punishment will get to him sooner or later. And why not later? I don't want to have to punish him, because I can certainly understand where he's coming from, but good grief, how discourteous can a child be? Besides, Cordy's wedding is still going to take place and Cordy'd kill me if I missed it. And I don't want to miss it. If I miss it, then it may be harder to convince myself that she's really married. That she's really no longer mine.
As the wedding starts back up once again, after Caden spent five minutes in the bathroom wiping off his spit-upon face, I say a silent apology to Cordelia. This was her day and already both my son and I have made it miserable for her. I wish I could apologize to her now, where she can hear it and hopefully accept it. But that'll have to wait. I'm not going to hold up her wedding any longer.
She's so beautiful. The thought comes out of nowhere and hits me like a bullet in the stomach. Her hair is up-a sort of French twist, but with baby curls framing her sweet face. A tiara sits atop her head, and it reminds me of our brief stay in Pylea.
Her dress, which is quite long, is a white color, but is splashed with a spray of cobalt blue swirls and glitter, which start at the bottom of the satin dress and thin out towards the v-neck of the top. The back of her dress is also v-shaped, so deep a v that most of her back is showing. It shows off her delicate back and skin perfectly.
Closing my eyes, I try to remember ever last detail of how she looks-beautiful, stunning, and most importantly, happy.
God, I'm going to miss her. I know that she's really not going anywhere. But it just fells so much like a door is closing on us - on what we used to be. No more AngelCordelia, CordeliaAngel. It was now back to Angel AND Cordelia, Cordelia AND Angel. After years of being so close that it seemed as if we were one person, we're being divided again, into two separate entities. I can already feel a void, growing slowly in my still, unbeating heart.
I just want.. so much to grab her and hold her in my arms and never let go. To protect her from everything and anything. I want to whisper softly in her ear the crazy theme she thought up for Angel Investigations' new slogan years ago-"Let us be your hero." She'd been outvoted, but I'd give anything to whisper in her ear, "Let me be YOUR hero." '
Before he realized it, everyone around him began to clap. Angel's eyes jerked up and he saw probably the most horrifying thing he'd ever seen in his 200+ years-and it hit him like a stake to the heart: Cordelia and Caden kissing, thereby sealing their marriage.
When the kiss ended, Cordelia grinned at Angel, who forced himself to smile back. As soon as it was announced that the reception would be held in the nearby dining hall, Angel quickly ran upstairs to check on his Cordelia-esque son.
* * *
"I will not apologize to that man." Journey said before Angel could even set foot in his room.
"No, but you will apologize to Cordy." Angel came in, shutting the door behind him. "And if SHE wants you to, you WILL apologize to Caden."
Journey shook his head. "I'll apologize to Cordy, but under no circumstances will I ever apologize to HIM."
"We'll see." Angel said curtly. He began to pace the floor in front of his son. "Just what was THAT all about?"
"What?" Journey asked innocently.
"You know very well 'what'!" Angel replied angrily. "How could you do that to Cordelia?"
"How could she do that to us, Dad?"
Angel shook his head. "I don't know where you come up with this confused and bizarre logic, but I'm tired of it. Now, you will stay in this room for the rest of the night. And tomorrow, punishment will begin. Bright and early, at seven a.m."
"Whatever." Journey replied flippantly, grabbing a nearby book to read.
Angel began to leave, but stopped once he reached the closed door. He understood why Journey had behaved in such a way, but like he'd said earlier, he couldn't NOT punish him. Journey couldn't be allowed to get away with ruining a wedding and spitting in the groom's face. Sighing, Angel opened the door and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
* * *
Angel made his way to the dining hall as the dancing began. Thankfully, Cordy and Caden were finished with the traditional feeding each other a slice of cake routine, so at least he didn't have to bear witness to that. After watching her dance the first dance with Caden, Angel moved in to take his place as the second song began. Caden whisked his mother away on the dance floor, while Angel began to dance slowly with Cordelia.
They danced in silence, but halfway through the song, Angel blurted out, "I'm so sorry."
Cordelia nodded. "I know." Cordelia refused to look him in the eye. Angel went on.
"I had no idea he would act that way, Cordelia. I knew he had his heart set on stopping the wedding, but I never thought he'd do.. THAT."
Cordelia was quiet. She slowly raised her head and Angel could see her tearful eyes. "Do you think.. do you think he really hates me, Angel?"
"No.. of course not. He's just upset. He could never hate you."
"I try to tell myself that.. but.. he looked so mad, Angel. You have no idea."
"Don't worry about him. He'll come around. He'll probably be dying to see you after your week in Paris."
"Think so?"
"Know so." Angel managed a half-smile as the song faded away. "Now, try to enjoy the rest of this day.. it's your day. And I want you to be happy. And I know Journey would want that too."
Cordelia smiled softly. "Thanks, Angel…for everything."
Almost without warning, Cordelia was taken away by Gunn, who wanted to dance with the lovely bride. Angel walked off, with one last thing in mind. Caden.
He found Caden near the food tables, talking with acquaintances. Angel walked up to him and waited for the conversation to dwindle a bit before asking, "Caden, could I talk to you please… in private?"
Caden agreed and Angel led them into the adjoining kitchen.
"You're Cordelia's brother, right?" Caden asked once they'd reached the kitchen.
Angel frowned. "Um, yes.. yes I am."
Caden smiled and held out his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"You too." Angel shook his hand politely. "Now, I want to talk to you about Cordelia."
"What about her?"
"If she's ever unhappy, for whatever reason, you're going to get more than my son's spit in your eye.
If you ever, in any way, hurt her, under any circumstances, I will kill you. Make no mistake about that."
Caden backed up into the wall behind him. "Hey-aren't you taking this older brother thing a little too far?"
"I don't think so. She's all I have besides my son and I'm all she has. I love her with all my heart and if anything happens to her, and I find out it's because of you, I will hunt you down and kill you. It's as simple as that."
Then, Angel stalked off, leaving an openmouthed Caden behind.
TBC
---
Cordelia looked at him, a look of total surprise on her face. "You what?!"
"I love you." Angel repeated. He rushed on. "And I know what you must be thinking. You're probably wondering why I waited until now to say anything. And you're probably going to tell me that it doesn't matter if you love me back or not.. because we're two very different people and things would never ever work out between us. You don't have to tell me, Cordy. I know. I've thought about this a million times... "
Cordelia closed her eyes and sighed softly. "Oh, Angel."
Angel looked at his feet. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
"No.. don't' be sorry. You've done nothing wrong."
"I just--I just wanted you to know." The music stopped abruptly and both Angel and Cordelia looked downstairs at the guests awaiting. Cordelia held up a finger as if to say, "Just a moment." Then, she turned to Angel.
"And I want you to know something."
"What?"
Cordy locked eyes with him. "I love you too. I never told you because I wasn't sure if you felt that way too. And I also knew that it probably wouldn't work out." She looked back downstairs and noticed the concerned look on Caden's face. 'It's okay,' she mouthed. Turning to face Angel, she went on. "Ad then.. I met Caden. It took a while.. but one day, I knew he was the one for me. That we were meant to be. I still love you, Angel, and I probably always will. I.. Well, I feel like you're my soulmate."
Angel smiled softly. Him--Cordelia's soulmate? Obviously that meant--
"But Caden's my HUMAN soulmate." She added.
Obviously, Angel had thought a little too early.
"Do you understand?" Cordelia asked him.
He'd loved her for nearly 8 years. Just like in romance novels. And he never acted on those feelings because he thought she'd always be around. Now, when he finally got the courage to confess his secret crush for her, he wasn't going to walk away with the girl. What more was there to understand? Angel didn't trust his voice at the moment, so he merely nodded.
"Shall we?"
"Um.. first.. could I get a hug?"
Cordy smiled. "Sure."
She leaned against him and he embraced her, holding her tightly. He kissed her cheek gently before releasing her. He offered his arm once more and she took it. The music started again, and they began their descent down the staircase.
When they reached the bottom, Cordy whispered softly, "Don't look so sad. After all, I'll always be Cordelia Chase, your vision girl."
At the end of the aisle, Cordy left his hand and took Caden's. As Angel walked to his designated chair, Cordelia flashed him one last reassuring smile. Before Angel sat down, he heard the official ask, "Who gives this woman to this man?"
Angel stared at Cordelia for a few seconds, not wanting to say the inevitable. Wesley nudged him with his elbow. "I-I do." Angel closed his eyes and sat down, hoping that the worst was over.
----
Meanwhile, Journey was not a happy camper. Having to stand thisclose to the man his mother was marrying was not having a good effect on him. His eyes bounced from his dad to Cordelia, and back again. The warning his father had issued was fresh on his mind.. but he had to do SOMETHING. Anything.
He couldn't do anything that his father could see, because that'd mean infinite death. There was no way he was going to endure days of Milo and Charlie if there were other ways he could stop this wedding. He tried to think of something he could do… and finally he remembered what he'd read in one of Uncle Wesley's books. It was sort of like mind reading.. but you say things in your mind to someone else and they'd hear and understand you. He figured it'd probably wouldn't work and he'd end up launching himself at Caden and spending three years with Milo and Charlie shackled to his side, but it was still worth a shot.
He closed his eyes and cleared his mind. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on sending a telepathic message to Cordelia. 'Please don't marry this man, please don't marry this man.' He chanted over and over in his mind. 'Please don't marry him, Cordelia, please.'
Cordelia, who just seconds before was listening intently to the Reverend, let a hand fly to her forehead. 'Please, don't let me have a vision now,' she pleaded silently. Sure that the pain she was experiencing was vision-induced, Cordelia steeled herself for the brutal images that were to come. She noticed Caden staring at her.
"What is it, Cor? Another migraine?" He asked softly.
Cordelia almost laughed. If only it was a migraine! Though she knew that they also hurt like hell, at least it didn't leave horrifying pictures in your head to haunt for nights to come. She managed a weak smile. "Yes.. but I'll be okay."
"Are you sure?" He gestured at the Reverend, who was also looking at Cordy. "We could postpone the wedding…."
"No. No, continue. Please." As the Reverend began once more, Cordy prepared herself for the vision. No matter how awful it felt, she was not going to cry out and ruin her own wedding. TPTB be damned.
But the vision never came. Instead, she heard a small voice at the back of her head.
'Please don't marry this man, please don't marry this man. Please don't marry him, Cordelia, please.'
Cordelia frowned. 'What in the world..'
'Please, Cordy. Don't marry this guy. Please.'
Why did that voice sound SO familiar?
'Stop this wedding. Now. For me.'
'Journey?' She glanced behind Caden's back at where Mr. RingBearer stood. His eyes were shut and his fist were clenched at his side, but he seemed to be chanting something over and over again, talking to himself.
'For Dad.'
Cordelia swallowed hard when she realized that no, it wasn't her imagination. Journey was actually speaking to her, pleading with her, and she was the only one to hear it! She was flattered by his valiant, yet somewhat weird effort. But like she told his father, she was meant to be with Caden. She wasn't sure how to tell Journey that without saying it aloud.
But, as she quickly found out, she didn't have to. Journey heard her thoughts loud and clear.
'So, you won't stop this wedding.?'
'No, Journey. I'm sorry.'
Journey felt his blood boil and he opened his eyes to let Cordelia see the anger held in them. 'I hate you.'
Cordelia was alarmed. 'What?'
'I hate you. I HATE you.' He repeated over and over again until suddenly, before either of them knew it, he yelled it for all to hear.
Cordelia simply stared, jaw hanging open. He'd never acted like this before. In fact, he'd never in his life raised his voice to her. She wasn't sure what to do… or what to say.
Caden, however, knelt before Journey. "What's wrong, son?"
"I'm not your 'son'." Journey yelled. "Now, leave me alone." And before anyone could stop him, Journey spit in Caden's face. Then he turned and ran down the aisle and up the stairs.
* * *
'Well, there he goes. My wonderful, intelligent, handsome, bratty, and rude son, who I'll now have the unhappy pleasure of torturing. I know I should probably follow him.. but oh well. He knows what's coming and punishment will get to him sooner or later. And why not later? I don't want to have to punish him, because I can certainly understand where he's coming from, but good grief, how discourteous can a child be? Besides, Cordy's wedding is still going to take place and Cordy'd kill me if I missed it. And I don't want to miss it. If I miss it, then it may be harder to convince myself that she's really married. That she's really no longer mine.
As the wedding starts back up once again, after Caden spent five minutes in the bathroom wiping off his spit-upon face, I say a silent apology to Cordelia. This was her day and already both my son and I have made it miserable for her. I wish I could apologize to her now, where she can hear it and hopefully accept it. But that'll have to wait. I'm not going to hold up her wedding any longer.
She's so beautiful. The thought comes out of nowhere and hits me like a bullet in the stomach. Her hair is up-a sort of French twist, but with baby curls framing her sweet face. A tiara sits atop her head, and it reminds me of our brief stay in Pylea.
Her dress, which is quite long, is a white color, but is splashed with a spray of cobalt blue swirls and glitter, which start at the bottom of the satin dress and thin out towards the v-neck of the top. The back of her dress is also v-shaped, so deep a v that most of her back is showing. It shows off her delicate back and skin perfectly.
Closing my eyes, I try to remember ever last detail of how she looks-beautiful, stunning, and most importantly, happy.
God, I'm going to miss her. I know that she's really not going anywhere. But it just fells so much like a door is closing on us - on what we used to be. No more AngelCordelia, CordeliaAngel. It was now back to Angel AND Cordelia, Cordelia AND Angel. After years of being so close that it seemed as if we were one person, we're being divided again, into two separate entities. I can already feel a void, growing slowly in my still, unbeating heart.
I just want.. so much to grab her and hold her in my arms and never let go. To protect her from everything and anything. I want to whisper softly in her ear the crazy theme she thought up for Angel Investigations' new slogan years ago-"Let us be your hero." She'd been outvoted, but I'd give anything to whisper in her ear, "Let me be YOUR hero." '
Before he realized it, everyone around him began to clap. Angel's eyes jerked up and he saw probably the most horrifying thing he'd ever seen in his 200+ years-and it hit him like a stake to the heart: Cordelia and Caden kissing, thereby sealing their marriage.
When the kiss ended, Cordelia grinned at Angel, who forced himself to smile back. As soon as it was announced that the reception would be held in the nearby dining hall, Angel quickly ran upstairs to check on his Cordelia-esque son.
* * *
"I will not apologize to that man." Journey said before Angel could even set foot in his room.
"No, but you will apologize to Cordy." Angel came in, shutting the door behind him. "And if SHE wants you to, you WILL apologize to Caden."
Journey shook his head. "I'll apologize to Cordy, but under no circumstances will I ever apologize to HIM."
"We'll see." Angel said curtly. He began to pace the floor in front of his son. "Just what was THAT all about?"
"What?" Journey asked innocently.
"You know very well 'what'!" Angel replied angrily. "How could you do that to Cordelia?"
"How could she do that to us, Dad?"
Angel shook his head. "I don't know where you come up with this confused and bizarre logic, but I'm tired of it. Now, you will stay in this room for the rest of the night. And tomorrow, punishment will begin. Bright and early, at seven a.m."
"Whatever." Journey replied flippantly, grabbing a nearby book to read.
Angel began to leave, but stopped once he reached the closed door. He understood why Journey had behaved in such a way, but like he'd said earlier, he couldn't NOT punish him. Journey couldn't be allowed to get away with ruining a wedding and spitting in the groom's face. Sighing, Angel opened the door and left the room, shutting the door behind him.
* * *
Angel made his way to the dining hall as the dancing began. Thankfully, Cordy and Caden were finished with the traditional feeding each other a slice of cake routine, so at least he didn't have to bear witness to that. After watching her dance the first dance with Caden, Angel moved in to take his place as the second song began. Caden whisked his mother away on the dance floor, while Angel began to dance slowly with Cordelia.
They danced in silence, but halfway through the song, Angel blurted out, "I'm so sorry."
Cordelia nodded. "I know." Cordelia refused to look him in the eye. Angel went on.
"I had no idea he would act that way, Cordelia. I knew he had his heart set on stopping the wedding, but I never thought he'd do.. THAT."
Cordelia was quiet. She slowly raised her head and Angel could see her tearful eyes. "Do you think.. do you think he really hates me, Angel?"
"No.. of course not. He's just upset. He could never hate you."
"I try to tell myself that.. but.. he looked so mad, Angel. You have no idea."
"Don't worry about him. He'll come around. He'll probably be dying to see you after your week in Paris."
"Think so?"
"Know so." Angel managed a half-smile as the song faded away. "Now, try to enjoy the rest of this day.. it's your day. And I want you to be happy. And I know Journey would want that too."
Cordelia smiled softly. "Thanks, Angel…for everything."
Almost without warning, Cordelia was taken away by Gunn, who wanted to dance with the lovely bride. Angel walked off, with one last thing in mind. Caden.
He found Caden near the food tables, talking with acquaintances. Angel walked up to him and waited for the conversation to dwindle a bit before asking, "Caden, could I talk to you please… in private?"
Caden agreed and Angel led them into the adjoining kitchen.
"You're Cordelia's brother, right?" Caden asked once they'd reached the kitchen.
Angel frowned. "Um, yes.. yes I am."
Caden smiled and held out his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"You too." Angel shook his hand politely. "Now, I want to talk to you about Cordelia."
"What about her?"
"If she's ever unhappy, for whatever reason, you're going to get more than my son's spit in your eye.
If you ever, in any way, hurt her, under any circumstances, I will kill you. Make no mistake about that."
Caden backed up into the wall behind him. "Hey-aren't you taking this older brother thing a little too far?"
"I don't think so. She's all I have besides my son and I'm all she has. I love her with all my heart and if anything happens to her, and I find out it's because of you, I will hunt you down and kill you. It's as simple as that."
Then, Angel stalked off, leaving an openmouthed Caden behind.
TBC