One week later.
Buffy stared out at the tree were he'd been standing so many times. Oh, how she wished she'd acted differently. Not only that last day in Sweden, but every time she had talked to him since he had gotten his soul back. Hell, maybe even as far back as when she'd been brought back to life.
But she hadn't, and now there was nothing she could do. It had only been a week, and already she missed him so much. And there was no doubt in her mind that he wasn't going to return. For what had to be the tenth time that day she read his last note to her.
'Hi Slayer. Or maybe I should call you Buffy. I don't know. All I know is that I can't close my eyes without seeing your face, and I can't sleep without dreaming about you. And I can't stop thinking about what I did to you. Your lil'sis tells me it wasn't my fault, that I had no other choice. But you always have another choice, and I didn't stop to think about mine. And I killed someone. Someone you cared about, and someone I respected. He might have done some bad things, but that doesn't excuse what I've done. You're the Slayer, and it's your job to save people, protect them from the things hiding in the dark. And I killed someone. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, I know I can't, but I want you to know that I love you with all I am. And I will love you forever. I won't ever come back, don't want to destroy your life more then I already have. So this is goodbye Slayer. With my undying love Your William'
With tears in her eyes she folded the paper and put it back in the small box she kept it in. All she wanted was to look him in the eyes and tell him that she didn't blame him for what happened. Giles screwed up, and he had to take responsibility for his actions. It wasn't Spike's fault.
But she couldn't tell him that, because she didn't know were he was. For all she knew he could be dead, just another piece of dust in the wind. He would never know how much she loved him.
~*~
The old woman smiled at him again. He couldn't bring himself to smile back, even though he wanted to. She had been good to him, helping him find a place to stay and given him some food. Food wasn't what he needed, but it didn't matter. It was the thought that counted, right?
Spike had arrived in London two days earlier, and he had only eaten once since he'd left Buffy, Dawn and the others in Sweden. But he barely noticed. For some reason he'd stopped caring about everything since he'd left her. He would have just stayed out waiting for the sun if it hadn't been for that voice inside of his head. It said that he would be a coward if he did. He would let himself of the hook, not really pay for what he'd done.
"I'm turning into Angel," he thought, but he wasn't even able to gather up the enough feelings to be amused by that.
All he wanted to do was disappear, to get rid of all of the emotions inside of him. But he wouldn't.
All he would do was to let sleep take him so that he could see her face again.
The End
(Definitely)
A/N: Now it's finally finished, and I can't begin to say how relieved I am. I was thinking about giving up writing this sometime around the 10th or the 11th chapter, but I didn't. I would love some more reviews on this story, and on more time: Thank you, all who reviewed, you're what made me continue! Luv mell
Buffy stared out at the tree were he'd been standing so many times. Oh, how she wished she'd acted differently. Not only that last day in Sweden, but every time she had talked to him since he had gotten his soul back. Hell, maybe even as far back as when she'd been brought back to life.
But she hadn't, and now there was nothing she could do. It had only been a week, and already she missed him so much. And there was no doubt in her mind that he wasn't going to return. For what had to be the tenth time that day she read his last note to her.
'Hi Slayer. Or maybe I should call you Buffy. I don't know. All I know is that I can't close my eyes without seeing your face, and I can't sleep without dreaming about you. And I can't stop thinking about what I did to you. Your lil'sis tells me it wasn't my fault, that I had no other choice. But you always have another choice, and I didn't stop to think about mine. And I killed someone. Someone you cared about, and someone I respected. He might have done some bad things, but that doesn't excuse what I've done. You're the Slayer, and it's your job to save people, protect them from the things hiding in the dark. And I killed someone. I don't expect you to ever forgive me, I know I can't, but I want you to know that I love you with all I am. And I will love you forever. I won't ever come back, don't want to destroy your life more then I already have. So this is goodbye Slayer. With my undying love Your William'
With tears in her eyes she folded the paper and put it back in the small box she kept it in. All she wanted was to look him in the eyes and tell him that she didn't blame him for what happened. Giles screwed up, and he had to take responsibility for his actions. It wasn't Spike's fault.
But she couldn't tell him that, because she didn't know were he was. For all she knew he could be dead, just another piece of dust in the wind. He would never know how much she loved him.
~*~
The old woman smiled at him again. He couldn't bring himself to smile back, even though he wanted to. She had been good to him, helping him find a place to stay and given him some food. Food wasn't what he needed, but it didn't matter. It was the thought that counted, right?
Spike had arrived in London two days earlier, and he had only eaten once since he'd left Buffy, Dawn and the others in Sweden. But he barely noticed. For some reason he'd stopped caring about everything since he'd left her. He would have just stayed out waiting for the sun if it hadn't been for that voice inside of his head. It said that he would be a coward if he did. He would let himself of the hook, not really pay for what he'd done.
"I'm turning into Angel," he thought, but he wasn't even able to gather up the enough feelings to be amused by that.
All he wanted to do was disappear, to get rid of all of the emotions inside of him. But he wouldn't.
All he would do was to let sleep take him so that he could see her face again.
The End
(Definitely)
A/N: Now it's finally finished, and I can't begin to say how relieved I am. I was thinking about giving up writing this sometime around the 10th or the 11th chapter, but I didn't. I would love some more reviews on this story, and on more time: Thank you, all who reviewed, you're what made me continue! Luv mell