Chapter 16: Rebellion, Reunion, and Rebirth
Journey lay on the rooftop of the Hyperion, staring up into the night sky that hid him so well from view. A spark of light caught his attention and he watched as a shooting star made its way across the sky. Journey kept his eyes on it, until it burned itself out, and disappeared altogether.
"Did you make a wish?" Angel's voice startled him out of his thoughts.
As Angel watched his son, he couldn't believe how much Journey had grown. He had to be at least six feet tall. Angel also realized just how much he'd missed his son these past two years. But had Journey missed him? Lorne had warned Angel that Journey had a "bad attitude" towards him but he figured that Lorne was exaggerating a bit too much.
Journey sighed loudly, not only exasperated but also annoyed. "I was never told to so." He said curtly. "It's not like I have a father or anything."
Angel closed his eyes and winced. The edge in Journey's now deep voice was like a blow to the stomach. Okay, so maybe Lorne wasn't exaggerating. Angel decided to try a different approach.
"I thought you'd be up her."
"Well, lucky you. You found me. Why don't you go downstairs to the kitchen and pour yourself a pint of blood for being such a good boy?"
This was going to be much more difficult than Angel had expected. "Look, Journey. I know you're mad at me—"
"Gone for two years and you come back a mindreader. How fortunate for you. What's next? Are you going to set up a palm reading stand on the side of the road tomorrow?"
Angel bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He ignored Journey's last comment. "Okay. I get that you're mad at me. I get that. But can't you at least try to be civil? I've missed you. I want to talk to you."
Journey stood up and walked over to the edge of the rooftop. Climbing up on the ledge, he said, "So, talk." Then, Journey began a tightrope-balancing act around the roof.
Angel didn't like seeing Journey so close to the edge, like that. "Journey, please come down from there."
Journey ignored him and kept walking.
"I know you hate me. But I'm still your father. You have to do what I say."
Journey laughed. "I'm sorry. I just found that last line amusing."
Angel was losing his patience. "Journey, let me tell you something---"
"No, let me tell YOU something." Journey stopped walking and faced Angel. "You can't be gone for two years and expect to find things all hearts and flowers when you come back. And you're not my Dad anymore. You lost that privilege the day you left. Because a Dad doesn't leave when things get a little rough, okay? Dads are people who are supposed to be there for you, through thick and thing, through good times and bad. And you're obviously not one of those people."
Angel took a step forward. "Journey, I'm sorry."
Journey shook his head sadly as he inched his way closer and closer to the edge. "It's too late. It's too late." Journey took a step back and fell off the edge of the Hyperion.
"Journey!" Angel yelled as he rushed forward to where Journey had once stood. Fearing the worst, Angel tried to steel his stomach for whatever he was about to see.
He watched as his son fell the some twenty odd feet towards the ground. He felt so helpless as his son's open eyes pierced him with their gaze. There was no way he could help him.. no way to keep him from harm. Angel couldn't watch nor could he turned away. And so, he closed his eyes tight.
He waited for some indication that Journey had hit the ground. But nothing ever did. And so, very slowly, Angel opened his eyes, just in time to see Journey land on his feet and take off running towards the city.
"Journey!!" Angel yelled, loud enough to wake the dead in Sunnydale.
But of course, Journey ignored him, and kept on running.
* * *
Angel walked slowly back downstairs, his head down, defeated. Lorne looked up as he walked into the lobby.
"No luck, Angelkins?"
Angel shook his head. "No."
Lorne nodded. "Ah, well. Give it time, I'm telling you. He'll come around. Someday."
"Gee.. that sounds… hopeful."
"Well, he just feels that you didn't care too much about him since you left him for two years, that's all. It's going to take some time to get through that. Plus, he's a teenager. They're crazy anyway."
"I don't remember acting that way to my fa—" Angel stopped, mid-sentence, remembering. He saw his dad's face, as he yelled into it, spitting and rambling like the drunk he was. Angel looked down. "Never mind."
"So, where is the rebel child? Still on the roof?"
"No."
"Oh, in his room then.. well—"
"No. Not there either."
"Well, where the Pylea is he? I didn't notice him come down here. Is he in Cordelia's room?"
"He.. jumped off the roof."
Lorne nearly choked on the olive in his martini glass. "You let him jump off the roof?! Where is he now? Dead in the middle of the street?"
Angel gave Lorne a pointed look. "Did someone forget that the child's immortal? Meaning that he can't die?"
"Well, injured in the middle of the street, then. Besides, you knew full well what I meant."
"I don't know where he went." Angel paused, shaking his head. "And at this point, I don't think I much care."
"No, no, no, Angel, dear. You can't just give up on him because he's given up on you. If you do that, you'll just be giving up on yourself. Just keep at it—one day, you'll be the dynamic duo you once was. Trust me."
Angel thought about it. "I guess so. Hmm. So, where's Cordy?"
"Oh, yes, thanks for reminding me. She's been wanting to talk to you. She's in her room."
"You mean, my room?"
"Your room, her room, what difference does it make? It's just a room. From now on, we'll call it the.. uh.. the Angelia room. How does that sound, Angelbaby?"
Angel smiled faintly. "It sounds fine, Lorne. It sounds fine."
* * *
Angel walked back up the stairs to the room that had once been his, and later the room that he and Cordelia shared. The door was open, and Angel could see Cordelia clearly from the door. She seemed to be engrossed in what she was doing, and so he knocked to get her attention.
"Um, Cordelia.. you wanted to see me?"
She looked up and smiled. "Oh, yes." She quickly put away her notebook and pen. "Come on in, Angel. This is your room, you know. You didn't have to knock or anything."
Angel came in. "I know.. but you looked busy and I didn't want to intrude."
"That's okay. You're not intruding." She watched as he came closer towards her and sat down beside her on the bed. "So, I guess you're wondering what I wanted to talk to you about…"
"Kind of."
Cordelia paused. "Okay, well, I guess I'll just cut to the chase. I know that a few years ago, I didn't always believe you on some things. Things that I should have believed you on. And for that, I'm sorry. Really, and truly sorry."
"Don't worry about it, Cordelia." Angel said, dismissively.
"No, wait. There's more." She took a deep breath. "I- I never got to thank you.. you know, for saving me that night. I probably would have died if it hadn't been for you."
She looked into his eyes. "I wish that I would have said this sooner, but we both know that I was a different person two years ago. And so, I'll say it now." She paused. "Thank you, Angel." She reached over and hugged him. And as she pulled away from him, she laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You've helped me more times than you'll ever know."
Angel looked at his hands, and then up at her face. He smiled faintly. "You're welcome, Cordelia. I'm just glad that you're okay."
Cordelia nodded, then reached out and impulsively hugged him again. But this time, she held on to him for a little while longer. "I've missed you so much, Angel, you have no idea."
And suddenly, she started crying. Angel instinctively wrapped his arms around her.
"Cordelia.. what's wrong?"
For a few minutes, she couldn't say a word. The tears ran down her face like flooded creek beds after a hard rain. Finally, she managed, "I feel so horrible."
"About what?" Angel asked, concerned. "About the past?"
Cordelia drew away from him and nodded. "Ye-yes."
He gently wiped some tears from her face with his thumb. "Oh, Cordy, don't worry. Okay? Just forget about it."
"I can't. I ca-can't forget about it. I acted like.. like a jerk! And you just let me act like that towards you. You didn't act like a jerk back to me or anything." She inhaled a shaky breath.
"I told you that everything's forgiven, Cor. You don't have to keep beating yourself up over it. You made a mistake.. so what? Think of how many mistakes I've made in my lifetime. Okay? You're not nearly as bad off as I am. And thank God for that. We both know we don't need another me hanging around here."
Cordy laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's true." She cheered up for a moment, but the tears came back once more. "But how can I forget about the four years I spent married to some man, that I loved completely, but that didn't love me at all?"
"Oh, Cordelia. Don't even think about him, okay? It's not worth the time or trouble."
"I can't help it! He.. he used me."
"I know, sweetie, I know. But you say that he didn't love you, right? Well, let me tell you something. I know of a few people who loves you and will love you more than Caden ever could."
"Who?" Cordy sobbed.
"I don't know… Lorne.. Journey……" He trailed off. "And me."
She looked at him, the tears shining brightly in her dark eyes. Her face crinkled up. "Oh, Angel."
Angel took one look at her, and scooted back on the bed until he was leaning up against the headboard. Once there, he held out his arms and simply told Cordelia, "Come here."
She moved to where she was resting against him, her head on his chest, the tears still pouring. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, rocking slightly back and forth. "Shh.. shh." He soothed.
He held her, rocking ever so slightly, until the tears stopped flowing and she fell asleep. And he continued holding her, until he closed his eyes from exhaustion, and they were left lying there, together and asleep.
* * *
Angel awoke the next morning alone in his room. He rubbed his eyes sleepily before stretching and getting out of the bed. His neck and back were more than a little sore from his sleeping in an upright position. But nevertheless, he began to walk slowly downstairs, in search of human life.
He passed Journey's room, and found it empty. The clock in his darkened room read 8:25 a.m. He couldn't possibly be up at this hour, and Angel wondered just where he might be. He continued on down the hallway until he reached the stairs.
By the time he set foot in the lobby, he could smell batter-y smell of pancakes and molasses. And he was surprised that he was actually hungry.. for actual food! He shook his head slightly, and followed the breakfast smells into the kitchen.
As soon as he swung the kitchen door, he squinted his eyes at the bright light. Cordelia must have had all the blinds open on the windows at the far end, and Angel instinctively backed away from it. Cordelia saw him, set down the spatula she was wielding and walked over to him.
"'Morning, Angel!" She said cheerily, hugging him.
"How is that you're up at eight a.m.?" He asked, hugging her back.
"I got up to check on Journey, but he wasn't there. I came downstairs, but he wasn't here either. And then, all that walking woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I decided to cook breakfast—" She paused, moving away from him.
Angel frowned, concerned. "Cordelia…"
"Shh.." She said softly, placing a hand on the left side of Angel's chest. She listened for a moment. "Oh, my God."
"Cordelia, what is it? What's wrong?"
Cordelia didn't answer him. She only grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the sunlight.
"Cordy.. Cordy, don't." Angel tried to keep himself from being dragged into the bright, bright rays of the sun. "Vampires and sunshine, don't mix."
"I know that. I'm just trying a little experiment." Cordy continued to pull him in that direction.
"Well, what if I don't want to be your lab rat for this particular experiment?"
"Too bad." Cordelia grunted as she used all her strength to yank Angel in a position in front of the windows. When he didn't immediately burst into flames, she pulled open the door that led to the alley behind the Hyperion. Using the rest of her strength, she managed to shove Angel out into the direct rays of the sun.
Again, he didn't disintegrate and she grinned, realizing what had happened.
"Cordelia, what are trying to do? Kill me?" Angel asked, jumping back into the shadows.
"Don't you get it?" She asked, taking a step towards him. She grabbed his hand and placed it in the middle of his chest. His hand moved up and down with each breath he took.
Angel looked down at his moving chest in alarm. "I'm.. I'm breathing?"
Cordelia nodded. She then took his hand, and moved to the upper left side of his chest. "Do you feel that?"
Angel could feel the thu-thump of his beating heart, pumping blood throughout his body. And he was suddenly very scared.
He nodded. "Cordelia.." He trailed off, shakily.
She smiled at him.
"Angel…. You're human."
TBC
Journey lay on the rooftop of the Hyperion, staring up into the night sky that hid him so well from view. A spark of light caught his attention and he watched as a shooting star made its way across the sky. Journey kept his eyes on it, until it burned itself out, and disappeared altogether.
"Did you make a wish?" Angel's voice startled him out of his thoughts.
As Angel watched his son, he couldn't believe how much Journey had grown. He had to be at least six feet tall. Angel also realized just how much he'd missed his son these past two years. But had Journey missed him? Lorne had warned Angel that Journey had a "bad attitude" towards him but he figured that Lorne was exaggerating a bit too much.
Journey sighed loudly, not only exasperated but also annoyed. "I was never told to so." He said curtly. "It's not like I have a father or anything."
Angel closed his eyes and winced. The edge in Journey's now deep voice was like a blow to the stomach. Okay, so maybe Lorne wasn't exaggerating. Angel decided to try a different approach.
"I thought you'd be up her."
"Well, lucky you. You found me. Why don't you go downstairs to the kitchen and pour yourself a pint of blood for being such a good boy?"
This was going to be much more difficult than Angel had expected. "Look, Journey. I know you're mad at me—"
"Gone for two years and you come back a mindreader. How fortunate for you. What's next? Are you going to set up a palm reading stand on the side of the road tomorrow?"
Angel bit the inside of his cheek. Hard. He ignored Journey's last comment. "Okay. I get that you're mad at me. I get that. But can't you at least try to be civil? I've missed you. I want to talk to you."
Journey stood up and walked over to the edge of the rooftop. Climbing up on the ledge, he said, "So, talk." Then, Journey began a tightrope-balancing act around the roof.
Angel didn't like seeing Journey so close to the edge, like that. "Journey, please come down from there."
Journey ignored him and kept walking.
"I know you hate me. But I'm still your father. You have to do what I say."
Journey laughed. "I'm sorry. I just found that last line amusing."
Angel was losing his patience. "Journey, let me tell you something---"
"No, let me tell YOU something." Journey stopped walking and faced Angel. "You can't be gone for two years and expect to find things all hearts and flowers when you come back. And you're not my Dad anymore. You lost that privilege the day you left. Because a Dad doesn't leave when things get a little rough, okay? Dads are people who are supposed to be there for you, through thick and thing, through good times and bad. And you're obviously not one of those people."
Angel took a step forward. "Journey, I'm sorry."
Journey shook his head sadly as he inched his way closer and closer to the edge. "It's too late. It's too late." Journey took a step back and fell off the edge of the Hyperion.
"Journey!" Angel yelled as he rushed forward to where Journey had once stood. Fearing the worst, Angel tried to steel his stomach for whatever he was about to see.
He watched as his son fell the some twenty odd feet towards the ground. He felt so helpless as his son's open eyes pierced him with their gaze. There was no way he could help him.. no way to keep him from harm. Angel couldn't watch nor could he turned away. And so, he closed his eyes tight.
He waited for some indication that Journey had hit the ground. But nothing ever did. And so, very slowly, Angel opened his eyes, just in time to see Journey land on his feet and take off running towards the city.
"Journey!!" Angel yelled, loud enough to wake the dead in Sunnydale.
But of course, Journey ignored him, and kept on running.
* * *
Angel walked slowly back downstairs, his head down, defeated. Lorne looked up as he walked into the lobby.
"No luck, Angelkins?"
Angel shook his head. "No."
Lorne nodded. "Ah, well. Give it time, I'm telling you. He'll come around. Someday."
"Gee.. that sounds… hopeful."
"Well, he just feels that you didn't care too much about him since you left him for two years, that's all. It's going to take some time to get through that. Plus, he's a teenager. They're crazy anyway."
"I don't remember acting that way to my fa—" Angel stopped, mid-sentence, remembering. He saw his dad's face, as he yelled into it, spitting and rambling like the drunk he was. Angel looked down. "Never mind."
"So, where is the rebel child? Still on the roof?"
"No."
"Oh, in his room then.. well—"
"No. Not there either."
"Well, where the Pylea is he? I didn't notice him come down here. Is he in Cordelia's room?"
"He.. jumped off the roof."
Lorne nearly choked on the olive in his martini glass. "You let him jump off the roof?! Where is he now? Dead in the middle of the street?"
Angel gave Lorne a pointed look. "Did someone forget that the child's immortal? Meaning that he can't die?"
"Well, injured in the middle of the street, then. Besides, you knew full well what I meant."
"I don't know where he went." Angel paused, shaking his head. "And at this point, I don't think I much care."
"No, no, no, Angel, dear. You can't just give up on him because he's given up on you. If you do that, you'll just be giving up on yourself. Just keep at it—one day, you'll be the dynamic duo you once was. Trust me."
Angel thought about it. "I guess so. Hmm. So, where's Cordy?"
"Oh, yes, thanks for reminding me. She's been wanting to talk to you. She's in her room."
"You mean, my room?"
"Your room, her room, what difference does it make? It's just a room. From now on, we'll call it the.. uh.. the Angelia room. How does that sound, Angelbaby?"
Angel smiled faintly. "It sounds fine, Lorne. It sounds fine."
* * *
Angel walked back up the stairs to the room that had once been his, and later the room that he and Cordelia shared. The door was open, and Angel could see Cordelia clearly from the door. She seemed to be engrossed in what she was doing, and so he knocked to get her attention.
"Um, Cordelia.. you wanted to see me?"
She looked up and smiled. "Oh, yes." She quickly put away her notebook and pen. "Come on in, Angel. This is your room, you know. You didn't have to knock or anything."
Angel came in. "I know.. but you looked busy and I didn't want to intrude."
"That's okay. You're not intruding." She watched as he came closer towards her and sat down beside her on the bed. "So, I guess you're wondering what I wanted to talk to you about…"
"Kind of."
Cordelia paused. "Okay, well, I guess I'll just cut to the chase. I know that a few years ago, I didn't always believe you on some things. Things that I should have believed you on. And for that, I'm sorry. Really, and truly sorry."
"Don't worry about it, Cordelia." Angel said, dismissively.
"No, wait. There's more." She took a deep breath. "I- I never got to thank you.. you know, for saving me that night. I probably would have died if it hadn't been for you."
She looked into his eyes. "I wish that I would have said this sooner, but we both know that I was a different person two years ago. And so, I'll say it now." She paused. "Thank you, Angel." She reached over and hugged him. And as she pulled away from him, she laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. "You've helped me more times than you'll ever know."
Angel looked at his hands, and then up at her face. He smiled faintly. "You're welcome, Cordelia. I'm just glad that you're okay."
Cordelia nodded, then reached out and impulsively hugged him again. But this time, she held on to him for a little while longer. "I've missed you so much, Angel, you have no idea."
And suddenly, she started crying. Angel instinctively wrapped his arms around her.
"Cordelia.. what's wrong?"
For a few minutes, she couldn't say a word. The tears ran down her face like flooded creek beds after a hard rain. Finally, she managed, "I feel so horrible."
"About what?" Angel asked, concerned. "About the past?"
Cordelia drew away from him and nodded. "Ye-yes."
He gently wiped some tears from her face with his thumb. "Oh, Cordy, don't worry. Okay? Just forget about it."
"I can't. I ca-can't forget about it. I acted like.. like a jerk! And you just let me act like that towards you. You didn't act like a jerk back to me or anything." She inhaled a shaky breath.
"I told you that everything's forgiven, Cor. You don't have to keep beating yourself up over it. You made a mistake.. so what? Think of how many mistakes I've made in my lifetime. Okay? You're not nearly as bad off as I am. And thank God for that. We both know we don't need another me hanging around here."
Cordy laughed. "Yeah, I guess that's true." She cheered up for a moment, but the tears came back once more. "But how can I forget about the four years I spent married to some man, that I loved completely, but that didn't love me at all?"
"Oh, Cordelia. Don't even think about him, okay? It's not worth the time or trouble."
"I can't help it! He.. he used me."
"I know, sweetie, I know. But you say that he didn't love you, right? Well, let me tell you something. I know of a few people who loves you and will love you more than Caden ever could."
"Who?" Cordy sobbed.
"I don't know… Lorne.. Journey……" He trailed off. "And me."
She looked at him, the tears shining brightly in her dark eyes. Her face crinkled up. "Oh, Angel."
Angel took one look at her, and scooted back on the bed until he was leaning up against the headboard. Once there, he held out his arms and simply told Cordelia, "Come here."
She moved to where she was resting against him, her head on his chest, the tears still pouring. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, rocking slightly back and forth. "Shh.. shh." He soothed.
He held her, rocking ever so slightly, until the tears stopped flowing and she fell asleep. And he continued holding her, until he closed his eyes from exhaustion, and they were left lying there, together and asleep.
* * *
Angel awoke the next morning alone in his room. He rubbed his eyes sleepily before stretching and getting out of the bed. His neck and back were more than a little sore from his sleeping in an upright position. But nevertheless, he began to walk slowly downstairs, in search of human life.
He passed Journey's room, and found it empty. The clock in his darkened room read 8:25 a.m. He couldn't possibly be up at this hour, and Angel wondered just where he might be. He continued on down the hallway until he reached the stairs.
By the time he set foot in the lobby, he could smell batter-y smell of pancakes and molasses. And he was surprised that he was actually hungry.. for actual food! He shook his head slightly, and followed the breakfast smells into the kitchen.
As soon as he swung the kitchen door, he squinted his eyes at the bright light. Cordelia must have had all the blinds open on the windows at the far end, and Angel instinctively backed away from it. Cordelia saw him, set down the spatula she was wielding and walked over to him.
"'Morning, Angel!" She said cheerily, hugging him.
"How is that you're up at eight a.m.?" He asked, hugging her back.
"I got up to check on Journey, but he wasn't there. I came downstairs, but he wasn't here either. And then, all that walking woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I decided to cook breakfast—" She paused, moving away from him.
Angel frowned, concerned. "Cordelia…"
"Shh.." She said softly, placing a hand on the left side of Angel's chest. She listened for a moment. "Oh, my God."
"Cordelia, what is it? What's wrong?"
Cordelia didn't answer him. She only grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the sunlight.
"Cordy.. Cordy, don't." Angel tried to keep himself from being dragged into the bright, bright rays of the sun. "Vampires and sunshine, don't mix."
"I know that. I'm just trying a little experiment." Cordy continued to pull him in that direction.
"Well, what if I don't want to be your lab rat for this particular experiment?"
"Too bad." Cordelia grunted as she used all her strength to yank Angel in a position in front of the windows. When he didn't immediately burst into flames, she pulled open the door that led to the alley behind the Hyperion. Using the rest of her strength, she managed to shove Angel out into the direct rays of the sun.
Again, he didn't disintegrate and she grinned, realizing what had happened.
"Cordelia, what are trying to do? Kill me?" Angel asked, jumping back into the shadows.
"Don't you get it?" She asked, taking a step towards him. She grabbed his hand and placed it in the middle of his chest. His hand moved up and down with each breath he took.
Angel looked down at his moving chest in alarm. "I'm.. I'm breathing?"
Cordelia nodded. She then took his hand, and moved to the upper left side of his chest. "Do you feel that?"
Angel could feel the thu-thump of his beating heart, pumping blood throughout his body. And he was suddenly very scared.
He nodded. "Cordelia.." He trailed off, shakily.
She smiled at him.
"Angel…. You're human."
TBC