Here I lie motionless. Catch me if you can.
It was seven in the morning when my eyes cracked open slowly. Painfully slowly I might add, since morning light was already wafting into the room. Almost instantly, I pinched them shut. My body seemed alarmingly numb. I remained inert. A reminding voice chimed in my head-School today. Fuck it. I'm staying home. Partial pieces of conversations from yesterday swirled in my brain. My brow knitted slowly together. His words still echoed back to me. In fact, they'd been haunting me all morning. I can't count how many times I'd played the brief exchange of words back to myself. More times than I could guess. More times than I'd like to count.
"He runs, he hides, does everything, but lies".
Except on the floor.
I suddenly felt the strange urge to laugh bitterly just then out of sarcasm, or frustration. I couldn't decide.
Through the partially creaked blinds I could tell it was overcast today. How fitting. How perfectly, and ironically fitting. I felt my right index finger twitch just then. My arms were resting languidly beside my body, and the sudden movement startled me. Enough to realize that the radio on my alarm clock was blaring in the other room. And do you know what? I either couldn't marshal the strength to raise my self from the hardness of the floor, or I didn't want to. If I move, I'll have to accept this. I'll have to accept that I'm alone. The pain of being alone on the outside pales in comparison to the solitude I feel on the inside. But who cares really? No one. That's who. Do you think anyone is out there wondering what's become of dear old Duo? Not likely. And even if they knew, why would they care? That carefree, happy go lucky Duo has been reduced to a puddle of listlessness on the floor of a ramshackle apartment complex? Again, not likely.
The ringing in my ears became incessant. As I was begrudgingly brought back to reality, I began to pick up on fragments of song from the radio. My face remained solemn, and I just kind of studied the cracks in the plaster on the ceiling. Particular phrases caught my attention.
My properties of no defense. So strike at your command.
I was tempted to crack a sour smile.
And strike he had.
I froze suddenly as I caught fragments of a new song that was coming through the radio.
I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I have said too much
Been too unkind
I felt my heartbeat suddenly quicken, and my eyes widen, as I listened with startled dread.
So I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I felt my body tense and become rigid all over. A sudden powerful rush of adrenaline racked my body, as anger infused me. My breathing became rapid, and I tried desperately to block out the music thundering in my head, stirring my regrets, and my mistakes. Involuntarily, I felt my hands snake up from my sides, as I clamped them tight over my ears, yet the music still came in muffled whispers so it chanted eerily in my ears.
Misjudged your limits.
Pushed you too far.
I guess I snapped just then. Because before I knew what had come over me, my face had contorted in rage, and I leapt from my position on the floor, crossing the distance to the radio in the other room. Before I could restrain myself, my fist raised forward.
...Took you for granted
... Thought that you needed me-
I slammed my fist down onto the box as a snarl escaped my lips. Ignoring the few drops of blood trickling off my knuckles, I stood paralyzed as what was left of the mangled instrument clattered to the floor. I hadn't really meant to do that.
7:03 a.m.
It was seven in the morning when my eyes cracked open slowly. Painfully slowly I might add, since morning light was already wafting into the room. Almost instantly, I pinched them shut. My body seemed alarmingly numb. I remained inert. A reminding voice chimed in my head-School today. Fuck it. I'm staying home. Partial pieces of conversations from yesterday swirled in my brain. My brow knitted slowly together. His words still echoed back to me. In fact, they'd been haunting me all morning. I can't count how many times I'd played the brief exchange of words back to myself. More times than I could guess. More times than I'd like to count.
"He runs, he hides, does everything, but lies".
Except on the floor.
I suddenly felt the strange urge to laugh bitterly just then out of sarcasm, or frustration. I couldn't decide.
Through the partially creaked blinds I could tell it was overcast today. How fitting. How perfectly, and ironically fitting. I felt my right index finger twitch just then. My arms were resting languidly beside my body, and the sudden movement startled me. Enough to realize that the radio on my alarm clock was blaring in the other room. And do you know what? I either couldn't marshal the strength to raise my self from the hardness of the floor, or I didn't want to. If I move, I'll have to accept this. I'll have to accept that I'm alone. The pain of being alone on the outside pales in comparison to the solitude I feel on the inside. But who cares really? No one. That's who. Do you think anyone is out there wondering what's become of dear old Duo? Not likely. And even if they knew, why would they care? That carefree, happy go lucky Duo has been reduced to a puddle of listlessness on the floor of a ramshackle apartment complex? Again, not likely.
The ringing in my ears became incessant. As I was begrudgingly brought back to reality, I began to pick up on fragments of song from the radio. My face remained solemn, and I just kind of studied the cracks in the plaster on the ceiling. Particular phrases caught my attention.
My properties of no defense. So strike at your command.
I was tempted to crack a sour smile.
And strike he had.
I froze suddenly as I caught fragments of a new song that was coming through the radio.
I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I have said too much
Been too unkind
I felt my heartbeat suddenly quicken, and my eyes widen, as I listened with startled dread.
So I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I felt my body tense and become rigid all over. A sudden powerful rush of adrenaline racked my body, as anger infused me. My breathing became rapid, and I tried desperately to block out the music thundering in my head, stirring my regrets, and my mistakes. Involuntarily, I felt my hands snake up from my sides, as I clamped them tight over my ears, yet the music still came in muffled whispers so it chanted eerily in my ears.
Misjudged your limits.
Pushed you too far.
I guess I snapped just then. Because before I knew what had come over me, my face had contorted in rage, and I leapt from my position on the floor, crossing the distance to the radio in the other room. Before I could restrain myself, my fist raised forward.
...Took you for granted
... Thought that you needed me-
I slammed my fist down onto the box as a snarl escaped my lips. Ignoring the few drops of blood trickling off my knuckles, I stood paralyzed as what was left of the mangled instrument clattered to the floor. I hadn't really meant to do that.
7:03 a.m.