I'm all right on my own. Till I met you.
I don't recall much from yesterday. In fact, hardly anything at all. I stayed home from school once more. What's left of my resolve is still on the mend. I found myself in my bed. But I don't remember how I got there. My face was pressed against my pillow, which was soaked with perspiration. Slowly, I began to come around. I felt my legs stir beneath me as I was lying on my stomach, completely concealed under the blankets. My right arm I discovered, had been trailing off along the mattress. I don't know how long I lay there with my eyes open, light filtering through the sheets. It's one of those moments I guess, when moving seems too trivial. I could almost hear my steady, rhythmic breathing beneath the comforter, as not a sound stirred the apartment save the gentle hum of song once more.
The one I needed I abuse
More color for the bruise
My nose crinkled as a heavy sigh racked my body. For now, the tune was soft and wasn't disturbing, and I hadn't the will to block it out. So I sort of sat there and endured it.
And I hope that what is true
Will find a way to you
I felt my body wince and my arm quiver. My hand that was hanging from the bed balled into a fist.
It all comes back to you...
Whimpering to myself in defeat and then hopelessness, I coiled my hands around my pillow and pressed it to my ears.
I've never felt alone
I've never felt alone
I've never felt alone
My grasp on the pillow loosened as a realization struck me. Recollections of what had happened yesterday suddenly flooded my mind. Was the radio on? No. And that was the scary part.
Jumping from my bed, I felt the pillows fly off me into different directions and I barely flinched as a scream dispelled from my lips. Actually, it sounded far away. And it didn't even sound like my voice. And that was even scarier. I had to get out of here.
I didn't really know where, but I knew I had to, lest the walls close in on me. Kicking what remaining blankets away, I stood from the bed, my hair which had come loose at some point during the night gathered around me as I stripped off what garments I had, and approached the dresser. After running a few quick swipes of a brush through my hair, I preceded to weave it back into a braid. Upon doing this I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I almost wanted to release a muffled laugh. God I looked a sight. My bangs were tousled; sticking in different directions I might add-and my forehead glistened with sweat. I didn't like this. I continued to stare numbly as my hands worked mechanically to right the braid. Have you ever stared at something so long you couldn't even discern anything of it anymore? Until all you see are shapes. Just shapes, jumbling and blurring into one another. I really had to get out of here.
Roughly ten minutes later, as I was taking the steps two at a time down the stoop, I realized I was hungry. Human necessity strikes again. And besides, I wasn't about to starve myself. As I slid the key into the car door and swung my legs inside, I scanned my brain for the nearest location in which I could find something fitting to eat. I wasn't aware of what I'd put on until I caught a flash of purple in the rear mirror. I looked down to find a T-shirt beneath my jacket. Well, that's different.
After finding a suitable place, I managed to locate a deserted parking lot and pulled over. After quickly eating my sandwich, which I'm not altogether sure why it was hurried [you didn't really think food cured all ailments did you?] I slid from behind the wheel, and climbed onto the front hood. Lying flat on my back and tucking my arms up behind my head, I idly scanned the sky. Not as if I expected to really see anything-I was more or less waiting for another distraction.
And I'd know what to do...
If I just knew what's coming
I exhaled deeply for a moment, and then took in another rapid breath.
I would change myself if I could...
Around me, cars whirred past on the street, nearby voices shouted, ravens released their mournful cries, yet nothing compared to the noise in my head.
6:00 p.m.
I don't recall much from yesterday. In fact, hardly anything at all. I stayed home from school once more. What's left of my resolve is still on the mend. I found myself in my bed. But I don't remember how I got there. My face was pressed against my pillow, which was soaked with perspiration. Slowly, I began to come around. I felt my legs stir beneath me as I was lying on my stomach, completely concealed under the blankets. My right arm I discovered, had been trailing off along the mattress. I don't know how long I lay there with my eyes open, light filtering through the sheets. It's one of those moments I guess, when moving seems too trivial. I could almost hear my steady, rhythmic breathing beneath the comforter, as not a sound stirred the apartment save the gentle hum of song once more.
The one I needed I abuse
More color for the bruise
My nose crinkled as a heavy sigh racked my body. For now, the tune was soft and wasn't disturbing, and I hadn't the will to block it out. So I sort of sat there and endured it.
And I hope that what is true
Will find a way to you
I felt my body wince and my arm quiver. My hand that was hanging from the bed balled into a fist.
It all comes back to you...
Whimpering to myself in defeat and then hopelessness, I coiled my hands around my pillow and pressed it to my ears.
I've never felt alone
I've never felt alone
I've never felt alone
My grasp on the pillow loosened as a realization struck me. Recollections of what had happened yesterday suddenly flooded my mind. Was the radio on? No. And that was the scary part.
Jumping from my bed, I felt the pillows fly off me into different directions and I barely flinched as a scream dispelled from my lips. Actually, it sounded far away. And it didn't even sound like my voice. And that was even scarier. I had to get out of here.
I didn't really know where, but I knew I had to, lest the walls close in on me. Kicking what remaining blankets away, I stood from the bed, my hair which had come loose at some point during the night gathered around me as I stripped off what garments I had, and approached the dresser. After running a few quick swipes of a brush through my hair, I preceded to weave it back into a braid. Upon doing this I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I almost wanted to release a muffled laugh. God I looked a sight. My bangs were tousled; sticking in different directions I might add-and my forehead glistened with sweat. I didn't like this. I continued to stare numbly as my hands worked mechanically to right the braid. Have you ever stared at something so long you couldn't even discern anything of it anymore? Until all you see are shapes. Just shapes, jumbling and blurring into one another. I really had to get out of here.
Roughly ten minutes later, as I was taking the steps two at a time down the stoop, I realized I was hungry. Human necessity strikes again. And besides, I wasn't about to starve myself. As I slid the key into the car door and swung my legs inside, I scanned my brain for the nearest location in which I could find something fitting to eat. I wasn't aware of what I'd put on until I caught a flash of purple in the rear mirror. I looked down to find a T-shirt beneath my jacket. Well, that's different.
After finding a suitable place, I managed to locate a deserted parking lot and pulled over. After quickly eating my sandwich, which I'm not altogether sure why it was hurried [you didn't really think food cured all ailments did you?] I slid from behind the wheel, and climbed onto the front hood. Lying flat on my back and tucking my arms up behind my head, I idly scanned the sky. Not as if I expected to really see anything-I was more or less waiting for another distraction.
And I'd know what to do...
If I just knew what's coming
I exhaled deeply for a moment, and then took in another rapid breath.
I would change myself if I could...
Around me, cars whirred past on the street, nearby voices shouted, ravens released their mournful cries, yet nothing compared to the noise in my head.
6:00 p.m.