What The Hell Were They Thinking?
Disclaimer: I don't own HASBRO (thank God), and I don't own the copyright of ZOIDS.
Authors Notes: Unlike most fanfics out there, this is one is totally hell- bent on bashing HASBRO. I hate HASBRO. They've ruined ZOIDS and made a mockery of TOMY.
Our story takes place deep, down in the sewers of Pawtucket, RI. Deep, down in this dirty sewer is where HASBRO HQ sits. PlungerGirl herself, accompanied by Karuteru, have decided to go down to the deep, dirty HASBRO HQ for "research". (well, actually, both of them were totally drunk and accidentally took a train there. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE STORY!)
So anyway as PlungerGirl and Karuteru were making their way down random pathways deep, down in the dirty sewers of HASBRO HQ, they met two really, really, REALLY, ugly guys. Er, or girls. They couldn't tell.
"Stop where you are, Plunger Lady and friend. For I, Sir Doofus-lot says so"
"Hey bastard!" screamed PlungerGirl drunkenly. "let me through or I'll shoot you"
Sir Doofus-lot laughed stupidly and PlungerGirl took out a large bazooka and shot his head off.
The second woMAN appeared.
"I am the vice-president of HASBRO HQ and I shall take you there as my hostage." Said the vice-president of HASBRO HQ.
"Only if you give me Ken" Karuteru said.
The vice-president of HASBRO HQ blinked.
"DEAL!" s/he screamed.
Once they reached the HASBRO HQ Head Quarters,(hence the name), the vice-president of HASBRO HQ handed Karuteru a Barbie doll. Karuteru was confused.
"I WANTED MY KEN!" she screeched.
"That is a ken" s/he said.
"Its not the Ken I wanted. And besides, it's a woman Barbie doll." The vice president of HASBRO HQ took out a marker and drew a mustache on the doll.
"There, now it's a man Barbie doll" s/he said.
Then suddenly out of the darkness, a black figure appeared.
S/he was wearing a really, really, REALLY, ugly costume. It was neon green with a bright, baby-poop coloured cape.
"I AM THE PRESIDENT OF HASBRO HQ!" S/he screamed.
"Are you a boy or a girl?" Karuteru asked.
"PAT-PAT TEST!" Plunger Girl screamed.
"No. Don't please. Err, I mean, MY NAME IS STU!" Stu said.
"Stu who?" "STU KATZ!" Stukatz laughed.
Dear Lord...
Anyway, Stukatz sat down at a really, really, REALLY, ugly table with a bunch of sewer rats.
"These rats are HASBRO HQ employees," Stukatz said.
"TODAY!" said one rat. "WE WILL DISCUSS THE ISSUES OF OUR TOY CALLED ZORGS."
"You mean ZOIDS." PlungerGirl said.
"Right. What did I say?"
Another "employee" spoke up.
"First we will discuss the Saber Tiger model"
"FIRST OF ALL, LETS CHANGE THE NAME!" Stukatz said.
Everyone thought.
"LETS CALL IT THE XENO FANG!" "NO! THE BOOBIE FANG!"
"NO!!!" Employee no.9347838652893 said. "HOW ABOUT ZABER FANG?"
Everyone nodded.
"LETS PAINT IT GREEN!"
"NO! BROWN!"
"NO!" Employee no.9348763265 said. "LETS PAINT IT A REALLY UGLY YELLOW!"
"YEAH!" everyone said.
"Dear Lord" Karuteru thought.
"Wouldn't it make more sense you kept it red? It saves money."
"No. That would be the "smart" thing to do. WE WANT TO BE DIFFERENT THEN THOSE JAPANESE PEOPLE!" Stukatz said.
To be continued...
READ AND REVIEW NOW!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own HASBRO (thank God), and I don't own the copyright of ZOIDS.
Authors Notes: Unlike most fanfics out there, this is one is totally hell- bent on bashing HASBRO. I hate HASBRO. They've ruined ZOIDS and made a mockery of TOMY.
Our story takes place deep, down in the sewers of Pawtucket, RI. Deep, down in this dirty sewer is where HASBRO HQ sits. PlungerGirl herself, accompanied by Karuteru, have decided to go down to the deep, dirty HASBRO HQ for "research". (well, actually, both of them were totally drunk and accidentally took a train there. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE STORY!)
So anyway as PlungerGirl and Karuteru were making their way down random pathways deep, down in the dirty sewers of HASBRO HQ, they met two really, really, REALLY, ugly guys. Er, or girls. They couldn't tell.
"Stop where you are, Plunger Lady and friend. For I, Sir Doofus-lot says so"
"Hey bastard!" screamed PlungerGirl drunkenly. "let me through or I'll shoot you"
Sir Doofus-lot laughed stupidly and PlungerGirl took out a large bazooka and shot his head off.
The second woMAN appeared.
"I am the vice-president of HASBRO HQ and I shall take you there as my hostage." Said the vice-president of HASBRO HQ.
"Only if you give me Ken" Karuteru said.
The vice-president of HASBRO HQ blinked.
"DEAL!" s/he screamed.
Once they reached the HASBRO HQ Head Quarters,(hence the name), the vice-president of HASBRO HQ handed Karuteru a Barbie doll. Karuteru was confused.
"I WANTED MY KEN!" she screeched.
"That is a ken" s/he said.
"Its not the Ken I wanted. And besides, it's a woman Barbie doll." The vice president of HASBRO HQ took out a marker and drew a mustache on the doll.
"There, now it's a man Barbie doll" s/he said.
Then suddenly out of the darkness, a black figure appeared.
S/he was wearing a really, really, REALLY, ugly costume. It was neon green with a bright, baby-poop coloured cape.
"I AM THE PRESIDENT OF HASBRO HQ!" S/he screamed.
"Are you a boy or a girl?" Karuteru asked.
"PAT-PAT TEST!" Plunger Girl screamed.
"No. Don't please. Err, I mean, MY NAME IS STU!" Stu said.
"Stu who?" "STU KATZ!" Stukatz laughed.
Dear Lord...
Anyway, Stukatz sat down at a really, really, REALLY, ugly table with a bunch of sewer rats.
"These rats are HASBRO HQ employees," Stukatz said.
"TODAY!" said one rat. "WE WILL DISCUSS THE ISSUES OF OUR TOY CALLED ZORGS."
"You mean ZOIDS." PlungerGirl said.
"Right. What did I say?"
Another "employee" spoke up.
"First we will discuss the Saber Tiger model"
"FIRST OF ALL, LETS CHANGE THE NAME!" Stukatz said.
Everyone thought.
"LETS CALL IT THE XENO FANG!" "NO! THE BOOBIE FANG!"
"NO!!!" Employee no.9347838652893 said. "HOW ABOUT ZABER FANG?"
Everyone nodded.
"LETS PAINT IT GREEN!"
"NO! BROWN!"
"NO!" Employee no.9348763265 said. "LETS PAINT IT A REALLY UGLY YELLOW!"
"YEAH!" everyone said.
"Dear Lord" Karuteru thought.
"Wouldn't it make more sense you kept it red? It saves money."
"No. That would be the "smart" thing to do. WE WANT TO BE DIFFERENT THEN THOSE JAPANESE PEOPLE!" Stukatz said.
To be continued...
READ AND REVIEW NOW!!!