Harry Potter and the Joke that Killed: Chapter Three
A/N: Okay, now, THIS TIME I promise that the plot will develop and you'll get obsessively hooked into my weavings of a story. sounds sinister, huh?
* author asks genie if she could own Harry Potter*.. Genie says NOO!! * author cries inconsolably.* SIGH, so yeah, obviously I don't own these characters and whatnot, but the sad innerworkings of my brain have exhausted themselves in producing this scheme. So you besta enjoy it, punk! Now, off you go to begin. NICE readers obeying my every whim. now if I could only get you to review.
* * * * *
Back at The Burrow once again, the remainder of Harry's summer flew by. Hermione went off to visit her Krum soon after they left London, and owled Harry and Ron as soon as she got there.
Dear Harry and Ron, How are your summers going? Bulgaria is simply fascinating! Did you know that Boris the Baffled and Willis the Whiney were native Bulgarians? Like I said, simply fascinating! Viktor's been taking me to all the wizard tourist attractions and behaving like a perfect gentleman.
I only hope you two can say the same.
I let Rita go shortly after I got off the plane, and boy was she mad! But of course I nicely explained to her that if she didn't keep her nose out of making things up about other people's business, I'd reveal the fact that she'd been an illegal Animagi and the Ministry wouldn't be too happy about that.
I can't wait until term starts again! I know for a fact that you two aren't doing your homework, but please keep in mind that we're taking our O.W.L.S. this year and it wouldn't look good if you start out by not doing your assignments. Just something to think about.
Love from,
Hermione
She'd also sent a lovely picture of Viktor standing in front of his house with his arm around her, which Ron promptly tore in half and threw away. The two halves of the photo made rude gestures at Ron from the dustbin.
"Now that's no way to behave, Ronald!" Harry scolded, impersonating Hermione's voice perfectly. Taking out his wand he mended the picture and stuck it inside his cloak. If Ron didn't want it, he'd take it.
Harry really bonded with the Weasley family over the two months. He quickly became a favorite victim of the twins' merciless pranks, sometimes bursting into feathers six times a day. Thankfully, he never got a hold of a Bare-Claw; though he thought Ginny tried to slip him a PG-13 rated one with his breakfast. She still blushed scarlet whenever he looked at her, which was quite often. She was growing up tall and lanky like Ron, and her curly red hair seemed to have found a way to tame itself, it wasn't an unruly poofball anymore. Harry wanted to know her secret, that was a feat he'd been trying to accomplish all his life.
It seemed like no time at all before they was standing in front of the magical wall leading into Diagon Alley once again. And this time around it must have been twice as crowded. Parents and students bustled to and fro, gathering needed equipment for their classes. Pulling out their supply lists, Harry and Ron read:
UNIFORM:
Fifth year students will require: Three sets of plain work robes (black, or house colors if desired) One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings) One set of dress robes
Ron pointed out the last item on that list. "You'll be happy to know, Harry, that Mum bought me some new dress robes. And not maroon! Midnight blue, with crescent moons on the fastenings. Really spiffy, new and everything." Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Your mum did, eh?" he asked.
"Well, the box was left on my bed and I found it there, no note or anything, but when I thanked Mum she totally denied it. Said it might be from a relative, and they just dropped it off and left. Yeah, right. Like that could ever happen." Ron explained. Harry only smiled and patted his friend on the back supportively. They read on down the list:
COURSE BOOKS:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 5) by Miranda Goshawk A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot Advanced Transfiguration by Emeric Switch Dangerously Difficult Potions (And Their Antidotes) by Simmarus Draught Tiptoe Through the Mandrakes and Other Magical Flora by Daisy Greene BOO! A Guide to Defending Yourself Against the Undead by Shamus McDuffed The Rise and Fall of The Dark Lord by Jiminy Za'loush
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, George, Fred, Harry, and Ron all managed to fit themselves in Flourish & Blotts, though not comfortably, to get their course books.
"Ah, The Rise and Fall of The Dark Lord, not the first copy I've sold today. Hogwarts, boys?" the clerk asked. Harry and Ron both nodded. "You know, I don't see why they'd want to teach this in schools. We've spent the last fifteen years trying to forget those days, and now the young have to study it? Seems a bit contradictory and pointless to me." 'Amazing how clueless the public is.' Harry thought to himself, as he paid the man for his books and walked out of the crowded store.
After acquiring an Advanced Potions Kit from the Apothecary, it was time for a pick-me-up at Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Florean Fortescue himself was an acquaintance of Harry's, and gave the lot of them free sundae's. Harry didn't think he had ever paid that man for an ice cream in his life.
August 31. just one more day before they would leave for Hogwarts. Harry's, and at that rate basically everyone's, insides tingled with anticipation.
It took four tries before they were finally off to Platform Nine and Three- Quarters the next morning. But, delay's and all, they arrived with a whole five minutes to spare. Nonchalantly they passed one by one through the hidden barrier between Platforms Nine and Ten, where the Hogwarts Express was waiting for them. Mrs. Weasley got all teary-eyed as she kissed each of her boys on the cheek, Harry included. After all, she did a better job of mothering him than Aunt Petunia ever did. Or ever wanted to do.
Slowly the gears of the train cranked and turned, sending the passengers on towards school. Harry, Ron, and Hermione found a compartment to themselves and sat down, but they weren't alone for long.
"Potter. Weasley. Granger. I've waited all summer for this." A snaky, silky voice said as it's owner thrust open the curtain. Draco Malfoy stood at the doorway, flanked by his cronies Crabbe and Goyle. Last time those three had showed up they were left lying facedown on the floor, a jumble of hexes having been cast upon them at once. Draco had obviously been fermenting all summer, and was ready for his return attack.
Without warning, Malfoy whipped out his wand and sent a spell flying at Harry. He only just dodged it in time. Apparently unfazed, Malfoy let another one loose not a second later. Diving to the floor and grabbing his wand at once, Harry yelled "Engorgio!" His aim was right on the money, causing Malfoy's nose to balloon in front of his face, blinding him. He dropped his wand in an effort to hold down his ever-growing schnozzle, and Ron dived to the floor and grabbed it right before Crabbe's fat foot tried to step on it. Unfortunately, his foot came crunching down on Ron's hand instead.
"YEOWCH!!!" Ron bellowed, jerking his hand away but still clutching the wand. Hermione, with her cool head, muttered the counter-curse and Malfoy's snout returned to normal. Then she gently took the wand from Ron's injured hand.
"Now, if you please, take this thing and leave." Hermione said, holding Malfoy's wand out to him. Ron and Harry couldn't believe she'd been that stupid, to let him have it back, but there was nothing they could do. The Slytherin sneered at her, then pointed his wand and out came a spell. That is, out it came through the other end of his wand. The hex hit him in the stomach, and a look of confusion and utter rage came over Malfoy's face before he started singing the national anthem uncontrollably in a womanly opera-style voice. There was a stunned silence before Harry and Ron broke out into an insanely happy fit of giggles, Malfoy serenading them all the while. He tried clamping his jaw shut, but the voice only got louder. He tried to run away, but his feet seemed glued to the floor. Obviously, the spell was unstoppable.
After a couple of verses people started peering out of their compartments to stare at the scene, and were in much the same state as Harry and Ron. A bright red Malfoy clamped his hands over his mouth, which of course did nothing to silence it, and the song played on. After trilling the last few syllables expertly and holding the final note for a full thirty seconds, Malfoy gained control of his vocal chords once more. But he didn't use them. He gave Hermione a fish like stare, then turned on his heel and ran to the very back compartment, hounded by the resounding applause that followed.
Ron, after having gaped down the corridor for long enough, walked over to Hermione and shook her hand vigorously. "That was amazing. Wonderful. Astounding. How did you do that? Spell, charm, hex, that's some pretty strong magic you've got there, Hermione."
"Just a simple Confundus Charm, boys. Confused his wand enough so that it shot the spell at it's owner. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it turning out that well." explained Hermione humbly. Chalk it up to her being the smartest kid in her grade, Harry thought.
The ride went by very quickly, what with impressions of Malfoy and all being done it felt like mere seconds before the train began to slow and the magnificent castle loomed up ahead. The three friends heard the familiar call of "Firs' years, over 'ere!" by Hagrid as the scared youngsters loaded up into boats. It struck Harry as odd that just a short time ago, he was the one being ushered into those boats. He'd grown up so much since then, and in more ways than one. UP was certainly right; this year even the tallest newcomers didn't even reach to Harry's shoulders. He was quickly becoming one of the tallest boys in his class.
Sitting in the Great Hall and catching up with old friends, the loud hum of conversation was silenced when Professor McGonagall entered with the first years to be sorted. Most of them looked terrified, much like they did every time. The battered hat sat expectantly on a stool in front of the Head Table. After it had commanded a silence from the knowing upperclassmen, and newcomers that soon followed suit, it opened it's brim wide and sang the sorting song:
The Sorting Hat's quite scratched and torn, Dirty, smelly, stained and worn. Haven't your Mummies ever said "Don't judge by looks, but smarts instead!" This old hat you see sittin' here You place it up around your ears And it'll have a peek inside And see which house you're to abide. Gryffindor contains the bold Nerves of steel their hearts do hold. Though Hufflepuff may take the meek, Also justice and faith they seek. In Ravenclaw dwell the wise, Knowledge and learning are their prize. And in crafty Slytherin Power dominates therin. I promise I'll make no mistake And after just a short debate I'll call it out With a great shout Where you will unearth your fate!
After the initial shock of a talking hat wore off, the first years seemed to enjoy the song. Some even bobbed their heads in time to the rhythm. A thunderous applause punctuated the ending, and The Sorting had begun.
"Adelade, Kira" Professor McGonagall barked out, and the tiny blonde scurried over and sat on the stool. Seconds later, in a commanding voice that far rivaled McGonagall's, the hat yelled "RAVENCLAW!" Two tables down, Harry saw Cho Chang greet their new member. His face burned and he quickly turned away, just as "Babburn, Tony" was named Hufflepuff. The poor Hufflepuff table. even after all this time, you could still see the solemn looks of sadness on some of their faces about Cedric's death. Professor Sprout had dedicated her best greenhouse to him, being head of Hufflepuff House she had taken the tradgedy especially hard.
The announcement of "Boyle, Beauford." as a "SLYTHERIN!" jerked Harry's attention back to the present. He watched the boy being welcomed by the Bloody Baron, a thing he didn't seem to like much. The sorting was much more fun when you got to be a part of it, Harry thought decidedly as "Freeston, Nancy" was named the first new Gryffindor. He clapped along with the rest of the table nicely, and for the first time noticed the new teacher sitting at the Staff Table. She must have been the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. That would fit, because Professor Snape was favoring her with a particularly nasty look. Poor guy, he'd been ousted from the position for the fifth year running. Harry got the sinking feeling that Potions was going to be even more unbearable this year. Right as "Zerkmeyer, Wadsworth" joined the Ravenclaw table, Headmaster Dumbledore stood up and the cheers were abruptly stopped. "This year will be one of the toughest, and most memorable, yet. Last year's events," a few daring murmurs broke out at the mention of Harry's scrape with Voldemort. "have caused security around Hogwarts to be upped yet again. We ask that nobody goes anywhere alone, especially at night, and the Forbidden Forest is completely off limits as usual." Dumbledore's eyes sparkled for a second, and Harry thought he saw a smile peep through the massive beard of his as he knew just how many times those rules would be broken
"Welcome, students both new and old, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" He announced grandly, and clapping his hands together, a feast suddenly materialized on their plates. Blood pudding, kidney pie, deviled eggs; Harry ate them all. Twice.
As Harry ate, he noticed several people's clothes leaping off their bodies and screaming momentarily, some tongues expanding beyond control, while the Weasley twins sat smugly back in their chairs. Innocently shrugging at Harry and Ron, and also winking deviously, they returned to their meal.
After taking a swig of pumpkin juice and glancing down, Harry suddenly noticed a small tart sitting in the center of his plate that he was sure hadn't been there before. He passed it off as a special present from the House Elves or something. Feeling absolutely full to the bursting, he offered the tiny pastry to Neville Longbottom, who was sitting next to Harry.
"Hey, thanks Harry!" Neville chirped, popping it in his mouth. Harry was quickly engrossed in a conversation with Ron about the upcoming Quidditch season, and Hermione, sitting on the other side of Neville, was heatedly arguing with Lavender Brown about the voting status of Centaurs and Unicorns. Nobody happened to notice Neville, who was rapidly turning purple and the shadow of death was creeping into his eyes.
Neville was dying.
* * * * *
A/N: Eh? Eh? Didn't I tell you it'd pick up? A little cliffhanger might do y'all some good. pulling your hair out from frustration is therapeutic, really. More reviews please! Still only got my one reader. well, two, counting my imaginary friend Harriet. It's sad when I have to invent people just so I can up my viewer status. But poor Harriet has no arms, so she cannot type a review for me! (GASP, how sad. *tear *) Therefore it is up to you fine people to flatter/flame this withering author who is quickly sinking into a depression from lack of readers. *gives pleading look to person on other side of computer screen *
Love from, Saranimal HaloGal5@aol.com
A/N: Okay, now, THIS TIME I promise that the plot will develop and you'll get obsessively hooked into my weavings of a story. sounds sinister, huh?
* author asks genie if she could own Harry Potter*.. Genie says NOO!! * author cries inconsolably.* SIGH, so yeah, obviously I don't own these characters and whatnot, but the sad innerworkings of my brain have exhausted themselves in producing this scheme. So you besta enjoy it, punk! Now, off you go to begin. NICE readers obeying my every whim. now if I could only get you to review.
* * * * *
Back at The Burrow once again, the remainder of Harry's summer flew by. Hermione went off to visit her Krum soon after they left London, and owled Harry and Ron as soon as she got there.
Dear Harry and Ron, How are your summers going? Bulgaria is simply fascinating! Did you know that Boris the Baffled and Willis the Whiney were native Bulgarians? Like I said, simply fascinating! Viktor's been taking me to all the wizard tourist attractions and behaving like a perfect gentleman.
I only hope you two can say the same.
I let Rita go shortly after I got off the plane, and boy was she mad! But of course I nicely explained to her that if she didn't keep her nose out of making things up about other people's business, I'd reveal the fact that she'd been an illegal Animagi and the Ministry wouldn't be too happy about that.
I can't wait until term starts again! I know for a fact that you two aren't doing your homework, but please keep in mind that we're taking our O.W.L.S. this year and it wouldn't look good if you start out by not doing your assignments. Just something to think about.
Love from,
Hermione
She'd also sent a lovely picture of Viktor standing in front of his house with his arm around her, which Ron promptly tore in half and threw away. The two halves of the photo made rude gestures at Ron from the dustbin.
"Now that's no way to behave, Ronald!" Harry scolded, impersonating Hermione's voice perfectly. Taking out his wand he mended the picture and stuck it inside his cloak. If Ron didn't want it, he'd take it.
Harry really bonded with the Weasley family over the two months. He quickly became a favorite victim of the twins' merciless pranks, sometimes bursting into feathers six times a day. Thankfully, he never got a hold of a Bare-Claw; though he thought Ginny tried to slip him a PG-13 rated one with his breakfast. She still blushed scarlet whenever he looked at her, which was quite often. She was growing up tall and lanky like Ron, and her curly red hair seemed to have found a way to tame itself, it wasn't an unruly poofball anymore. Harry wanted to know her secret, that was a feat he'd been trying to accomplish all his life.
It seemed like no time at all before they was standing in front of the magical wall leading into Diagon Alley once again. And this time around it must have been twice as crowded. Parents and students bustled to and fro, gathering needed equipment for their classes. Pulling out their supply lists, Harry and Ron read:
UNIFORM:
Fifth year students will require: Three sets of plain work robes (black, or house colors if desired) One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar) One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings) One set of dress robes
Ron pointed out the last item on that list. "You'll be happy to know, Harry, that Mum bought me some new dress robes. And not maroon! Midnight blue, with crescent moons on the fastenings. Really spiffy, new and everything." Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Your mum did, eh?" he asked.
"Well, the box was left on my bed and I found it there, no note or anything, but when I thanked Mum she totally denied it. Said it might be from a relative, and they just dropped it off and left. Yeah, right. Like that could ever happen." Ron explained. Harry only smiled and patted his friend on the back supportively. They read on down the list:
COURSE BOOKS:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 5) by Miranda Goshawk A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot Advanced Transfiguration by Emeric Switch Dangerously Difficult Potions (And Their Antidotes) by Simmarus Draught Tiptoe Through the Mandrakes and Other Magical Flora by Daisy Greene BOO! A Guide to Defending Yourself Against the Undead by Shamus McDuffed The Rise and Fall of The Dark Lord by Jiminy Za'loush
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Ginny, George, Fred, Harry, and Ron all managed to fit themselves in Flourish & Blotts, though not comfortably, to get their course books.
"Ah, The Rise and Fall of The Dark Lord, not the first copy I've sold today. Hogwarts, boys?" the clerk asked. Harry and Ron both nodded. "You know, I don't see why they'd want to teach this in schools. We've spent the last fifteen years trying to forget those days, and now the young have to study it? Seems a bit contradictory and pointless to me." 'Amazing how clueless the public is.' Harry thought to himself, as he paid the man for his books and walked out of the crowded store.
After acquiring an Advanced Potions Kit from the Apothecary, it was time for a pick-me-up at Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Florean Fortescue himself was an acquaintance of Harry's, and gave the lot of them free sundae's. Harry didn't think he had ever paid that man for an ice cream in his life.
August 31. just one more day before they would leave for Hogwarts. Harry's, and at that rate basically everyone's, insides tingled with anticipation.
It took four tries before they were finally off to Platform Nine and Three- Quarters the next morning. But, delay's and all, they arrived with a whole five minutes to spare. Nonchalantly they passed one by one through the hidden barrier between Platforms Nine and Ten, where the Hogwarts Express was waiting for them. Mrs. Weasley got all teary-eyed as she kissed each of her boys on the cheek, Harry included. After all, she did a better job of mothering him than Aunt Petunia ever did. Or ever wanted to do.
Slowly the gears of the train cranked and turned, sending the passengers on towards school. Harry, Ron, and Hermione found a compartment to themselves and sat down, but they weren't alone for long.
"Potter. Weasley. Granger. I've waited all summer for this." A snaky, silky voice said as it's owner thrust open the curtain. Draco Malfoy stood at the doorway, flanked by his cronies Crabbe and Goyle. Last time those three had showed up they were left lying facedown on the floor, a jumble of hexes having been cast upon them at once. Draco had obviously been fermenting all summer, and was ready for his return attack.
Without warning, Malfoy whipped out his wand and sent a spell flying at Harry. He only just dodged it in time. Apparently unfazed, Malfoy let another one loose not a second later. Diving to the floor and grabbing his wand at once, Harry yelled "Engorgio!" His aim was right on the money, causing Malfoy's nose to balloon in front of his face, blinding him. He dropped his wand in an effort to hold down his ever-growing schnozzle, and Ron dived to the floor and grabbed it right before Crabbe's fat foot tried to step on it. Unfortunately, his foot came crunching down on Ron's hand instead.
"YEOWCH!!!" Ron bellowed, jerking his hand away but still clutching the wand. Hermione, with her cool head, muttered the counter-curse and Malfoy's snout returned to normal. Then she gently took the wand from Ron's injured hand.
"Now, if you please, take this thing and leave." Hermione said, holding Malfoy's wand out to him. Ron and Harry couldn't believe she'd been that stupid, to let him have it back, but there was nothing they could do. The Slytherin sneered at her, then pointed his wand and out came a spell. That is, out it came through the other end of his wand. The hex hit him in the stomach, and a look of confusion and utter rage came over Malfoy's face before he started singing the national anthem uncontrollably in a womanly opera-style voice. There was a stunned silence before Harry and Ron broke out into an insanely happy fit of giggles, Malfoy serenading them all the while. He tried clamping his jaw shut, but the voice only got louder. He tried to run away, but his feet seemed glued to the floor. Obviously, the spell was unstoppable.
After a couple of verses people started peering out of their compartments to stare at the scene, and were in much the same state as Harry and Ron. A bright red Malfoy clamped his hands over his mouth, which of course did nothing to silence it, and the song played on. After trilling the last few syllables expertly and holding the final note for a full thirty seconds, Malfoy gained control of his vocal chords once more. But he didn't use them. He gave Hermione a fish like stare, then turned on his heel and ran to the very back compartment, hounded by the resounding applause that followed.
Ron, after having gaped down the corridor for long enough, walked over to Hermione and shook her hand vigorously. "That was amazing. Wonderful. Astounding. How did you do that? Spell, charm, hex, that's some pretty strong magic you've got there, Hermione."
"Just a simple Confundus Charm, boys. Confused his wand enough so that it shot the spell at it's owner. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it turning out that well." explained Hermione humbly. Chalk it up to her being the smartest kid in her grade, Harry thought.
The ride went by very quickly, what with impressions of Malfoy and all being done it felt like mere seconds before the train began to slow and the magnificent castle loomed up ahead. The three friends heard the familiar call of "Firs' years, over 'ere!" by Hagrid as the scared youngsters loaded up into boats. It struck Harry as odd that just a short time ago, he was the one being ushered into those boats. He'd grown up so much since then, and in more ways than one. UP was certainly right; this year even the tallest newcomers didn't even reach to Harry's shoulders. He was quickly becoming one of the tallest boys in his class.
Sitting in the Great Hall and catching up with old friends, the loud hum of conversation was silenced when Professor McGonagall entered with the first years to be sorted. Most of them looked terrified, much like they did every time. The battered hat sat expectantly on a stool in front of the Head Table. After it had commanded a silence from the knowing upperclassmen, and newcomers that soon followed suit, it opened it's brim wide and sang the sorting song:
The Sorting Hat's quite scratched and torn, Dirty, smelly, stained and worn. Haven't your Mummies ever said "Don't judge by looks, but smarts instead!" This old hat you see sittin' here You place it up around your ears And it'll have a peek inside And see which house you're to abide. Gryffindor contains the bold Nerves of steel their hearts do hold. Though Hufflepuff may take the meek, Also justice and faith they seek. In Ravenclaw dwell the wise, Knowledge and learning are their prize. And in crafty Slytherin Power dominates therin. I promise I'll make no mistake And after just a short debate I'll call it out With a great shout Where you will unearth your fate!
After the initial shock of a talking hat wore off, the first years seemed to enjoy the song. Some even bobbed their heads in time to the rhythm. A thunderous applause punctuated the ending, and The Sorting had begun.
"Adelade, Kira" Professor McGonagall barked out, and the tiny blonde scurried over and sat on the stool. Seconds later, in a commanding voice that far rivaled McGonagall's, the hat yelled "RAVENCLAW!" Two tables down, Harry saw Cho Chang greet their new member. His face burned and he quickly turned away, just as "Babburn, Tony" was named Hufflepuff. The poor Hufflepuff table. even after all this time, you could still see the solemn looks of sadness on some of their faces about Cedric's death. Professor Sprout had dedicated her best greenhouse to him, being head of Hufflepuff House she had taken the tradgedy especially hard.
The announcement of "Boyle, Beauford." as a "SLYTHERIN!" jerked Harry's attention back to the present. He watched the boy being welcomed by the Bloody Baron, a thing he didn't seem to like much. The sorting was much more fun when you got to be a part of it, Harry thought decidedly as "Freeston, Nancy" was named the first new Gryffindor. He clapped along with the rest of the table nicely, and for the first time noticed the new teacher sitting at the Staff Table. She must have been the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. That would fit, because Professor Snape was favoring her with a particularly nasty look. Poor guy, he'd been ousted from the position for the fifth year running. Harry got the sinking feeling that Potions was going to be even more unbearable this year. Right as "Zerkmeyer, Wadsworth" joined the Ravenclaw table, Headmaster Dumbledore stood up and the cheers were abruptly stopped. "This year will be one of the toughest, and most memorable, yet. Last year's events," a few daring murmurs broke out at the mention of Harry's scrape with Voldemort. "have caused security around Hogwarts to be upped yet again. We ask that nobody goes anywhere alone, especially at night, and the Forbidden Forest is completely off limits as usual." Dumbledore's eyes sparkled for a second, and Harry thought he saw a smile peep through the massive beard of his as he knew just how many times those rules would be broken
"Welcome, students both new and old, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" He announced grandly, and clapping his hands together, a feast suddenly materialized on their plates. Blood pudding, kidney pie, deviled eggs; Harry ate them all. Twice.
As Harry ate, he noticed several people's clothes leaping off their bodies and screaming momentarily, some tongues expanding beyond control, while the Weasley twins sat smugly back in their chairs. Innocently shrugging at Harry and Ron, and also winking deviously, they returned to their meal.
After taking a swig of pumpkin juice and glancing down, Harry suddenly noticed a small tart sitting in the center of his plate that he was sure hadn't been there before. He passed it off as a special present from the House Elves or something. Feeling absolutely full to the bursting, he offered the tiny pastry to Neville Longbottom, who was sitting next to Harry.
"Hey, thanks Harry!" Neville chirped, popping it in his mouth. Harry was quickly engrossed in a conversation with Ron about the upcoming Quidditch season, and Hermione, sitting on the other side of Neville, was heatedly arguing with Lavender Brown about the voting status of Centaurs and Unicorns. Nobody happened to notice Neville, who was rapidly turning purple and the shadow of death was creeping into his eyes.
Neville was dying.
* * * * *
A/N: Eh? Eh? Didn't I tell you it'd pick up? A little cliffhanger might do y'all some good. pulling your hair out from frustration is therapeutic, really. More reviews please! Still only got my one reader. well, two, counting my imaginary friend Harriet. It's sad when I have to invent people just so I can up my viewer status. But poor Harriet has no arms, so she cannot type a review for me! (GASP, how sad. *tear *) Therefore it is up to you fine people to flatter/flame this withering author who is quickly sinking into a depression from lack of readers. *gives pleading look to person on other side of computer screen *
Love from, Saranimal HaloGal5@aol.com