Harry Potter and the Joke that Killed: Chapter Sixteen
A/N: Ah, here it is, the infamous long-awaited visit from the in- laws. well, not technically Harry's in-laws, but you get the gist anywho, right? GOOD.
DISCLAIMER: Some people own Harry Potter. Some people don't own Harry Potter and pretend that they do. Some people like to run around with fruit on their heads and pretend to be a flamenco dancer named Roy the Toy. So many lifestyles. so little time. ;)
* * * * *
"Mummie and Daddie are coming for a little visit to see your adorable boyfriend, are they?" said Harry with dread.
"This is so bad. you don't know my parents, Harry, they're - ugh, I can't even begin to describe." replied Nancy, pacing around the first-year girls dormitories.
"Well, looks like I'm about to know your parents. what are we going to do? George'll be horrified." Harry predicted.
And so he was. Ten minutes later, when Harry and Nancy finally broke the news to him over breakfast, he was so panicked he actually ran out of the great hall. Chasing after him as nonchalant as possible, the two caught up with him on his way up the flight of stairs. He was stuck in the trick step.
"I cant BELIEVE this!" George yelled, his voice cracking. Harry felt sorry for his friend, and wasn't really even that mad about being blamed for going out with Nancy. Well, not as mad as he was before, anyway.
"We can get through this, I know we can." Nancy comforted, trying to help George pry his foot out of the step.
"First things first though. we've got to tell everyone else at Hogwarts." recommended Harry.
"Tell everyone what, Harry?" Ron's voice asked. The three of them jumped as the youngest Weasley boy came out of the great hall. "You three ran out of breakfast so fast; what the heck is going on here?"
Harry and George exchanged looks, and Harry took a deep breath and turned to Ron. George was swiping at him furiously, but Harry just stepped out of his reach, and the twin was pinned to the spot by his sunken leg. "You see -" Harry began.
But he didn't finish his explanation. George had unclipped his prosthetic leg and tackled Harry, and both boys rolled down the stairs with several unhealthy thumps along the way. The two landed at the foot of the stairs in a tangled heap.
"OW! Geroff, Harry, my elbow doesn't bend that way." George protested.
"Oh, I'm sorry George, I would move but some prat has decided to tackle me, and then sit on my head." Harry replied sarcastically. Nancy and Ron rushed down the stairs and helped their two friends up.
"What were you going to say, Harry?" Ron asked again.
"NOTHING!" George interrupted, taking his prosthetic leg from Nancy that she had retrieved from the trick step and began putting it back on.
"George, let him say it." Nancy pleaded, stroking his arm. He calmed down a bit, and then shook his head.
"If anything I should be the one to say it. After all, this whole mess is my fault." insisted George. And then, with a sigh, the belated explanation began.
"Ron, Harry and Nancy were never a couple. Harry was just covering for me - Nancy does have an older boyfriend, but it isn't him." At this point, George found it difficult to go on.
"Who is it then?" Ron asked after a expectant silence, looking at all three of them.
"It's me, Ron. I'm the culprit. Nancy and I - we're the ones going out." George finally declared, very rapidly, looking at the floor the whole time.
"WHAT?!" was the first thing out of Ron's mouth. Then he began to chuckle. His chuckle turned into a snicker, then from that to a laugh, then to a riotous mad guffaw. George looked enraged. "Oh - oh no, this is just too good. Ha, this is the best thing I've ever heard!" Ron got out between giggles.
"What's so hilarious about it?" his brother demanded.
"Everyone thinks it's Harry - and. HA! and all the girls are swooning, it's published in a magazine for Merlin's sake! And the best part is. hehe - HE DIDN'T EVEN DO IT!" Ron pointed out. The redhead then collapsed onto the floor and continued to laugh uproariously.
Harry had to admit, it was pretty funny. Even George and Nancy started to smile. "That wasn't so bad, huh Georgie?" Nancy asked. Her beau just glared at her, and the four of them walked into the great hall once more.
When George, Nancy, Ron, and Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table, there was a mad scuffle of girls to sit next to Harry. Parvati and Lavender even got in a minor catfight over who would pass Harry the biscuits when he asked for them - and in the end Hermione sighed loudly and got up from her seat at the opposite end of the table and grabbed what was left of the bread basket from the two girls and handed it to Harry. He smiled gratefully and she just raised her eyebrows at the scowling girls and smiled.
During Potions that day, poor Neville was left in the dark while every girl in the room, save Hermione, grappled to be partners with Harry. In the end their substitute, Professor Dorkin, was forced to use the Body-Bind Curse on Lavender and Parvati, who again were getting the worst of it. When the mob of females had finally settled down, Harry bandaged his badly scratched arm where Lavender had seized it.
Hermione was sitting with Ron behind her friend, tears streaming down her face from laughter.
While brewing Hormeyer Potion, used to relieve stomach cramps and gas, out of the blue Parvati raised her hand and asked Professor Dorkin about love potions. Snape had purposefully skipped that unit, of course, and all the girls were just dying to get their hands on some.
"Well, it's very complicated, advanced ingredients, yes, yes. hmm. very risky procedure, and when used, it makes the victim fall hopelessly in love with the brewer. fortunately, there is a counter-potion, so the effects are reversible." the substitute Potions Master explained, stroking his beard and trying to decide whether to give in or not.
Harry prayed the teacher would hold firm and not tell the girls the potion. He wouldn't be able to drink anything for the next three years without falling in love with someone or another.
But, fortunately for Harry, Professor Dorkin made a deal with the girls that if they did the Hormeyer Potion for today, then next week he would teach them the love potion. Harry knew that by then, the word would've gotten around that he'd never done any of those romantic things and he'd go back to being invisible. Surprisingly, Harry felt himself feeling a bit saddened by the idea. Although misdirected, the attention had actually been quite a nice change.
After Potions, a mob of girls huddled behind Harry all the way to the great hall for lunch. "This is utter madness!" Hermione screamed with exasperation, pushing back an eager first-year girl who had been stepping on Hermione's shoes in an attempt to get close to Harry.
"I think its rather comical, actually." Ron teased, and got a glare of death from Harry.
"It's getting bad, you guys, I mean bad. Somebody stole my Astronomy homework just because I had written my name on it! It took me three hours just to do the thing all over again." explained Harry.
"Don't worry Harry, I'm sure the little nympho's will settle down once they learn the truth." Ron comforted.
"The truth? What horrible rumor is going around this time?" Hermione asked, puzzled. Harry and Ron glanced quickly at each other, remembering that they hadn't told their other friend the real story yet.
"Oh, erm, well. I'm not exactly dating Nancy, per say." Harry said slowly.
"Per say? What, only your left leg is dating her?" Hermione suggested, laughing at her own wit. Harry smiled weakly.
"Well, actually George Weasley's left leg is the one dating her, along with the rest of his body." said Harry.
Mixed emotions flicked across Hermione's face at this. There was bewilderment, surprise, and somewhat to Harry's delight a look of relief. "What the - how - why does everyone think its you then?"
By now the group had been seated at the house table, Ron and Hermione on either side of Harry as to revert another battle in the war for a seat next to The-Boy-Who-Lived. "Well, that one night when I came out of the closet with Nancy, remember that?" Harry asked.
Hermione smiled sheepishly. "Well, of course. That looked really, really odd of you two, coming out of a small closet all rumpled and red and stuff." Perhaps the note of envy in her voice was just Harry's imagination.
"You see, what you didn't notice was that George came out of the closet a few minutes later. It was him and Nancy in there, I just happened to walk in at the wrong time. George didn't tell anyone because he was scared, he didn't want people to get the wrong idea." Harry continued.
"So he let everyone get the wrong idea anyways by agreeing with me when I asked him about Harry and Nancy," Ron put in. "Sorry about that, Har, I kinda started this whole fiasco, didn't I?"
"Yes you did." Harry replied, whacking his friend upside his red head.
"Wait, wait, wait. so that article in Witch Weekly is a fake? There was no relationship, no dinner in the astronomy tower, no making out in closets?" Hermione confirmed.
"Correct." replied Harry. Again, Hermione looked relieved, and Harry was puzzled, but pleased nonetheless, by this.
Unfortunately, this made a whopping TWO people that were aware of the actual truth, and many many others to tell. George felt the next person who should be told would be Fred, and Harry and Nancy let him tackle that one on his own. The seventh-year boys dormitories were awfully quiet for about ten minutes before the shouting began. The noises were muffled, but one voice sounded condescending while the other pleading. Harry felt for George, but after all this whole thing was his own fault.
A couple minutes later the shouting stopped. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Nancy looked at each other all thinking the same thing: had one of the twins been murdered? But in the next few seconds George and Fred came back down, arm in arm, and approached the waiting group.
"From what I hear, you're my future sister-in-law." Fred commented, grabbing Nancy's hand and shaking it.
The little blonde smiled. "So I guess you've heard. what's the verdict? You approve, or do we have to quiver in fear for the rest of the year?"
Fred laughed, and George seemed to relax a bit. "No, I approve just fine. Congratulations, on both the matrimony and the fine chaos you've gotten Harry into." said Fred.
"I do feel bad about that, Harry. what can I do to make it up to you?" George inquired earnestly.
Just then, Parvati and Lavender walked by, waving, winking, and sauntering in a revoltingly seductive way. "Hi Harry." Parvati cooed, in a husky voice much deeper than her normal one.
Ron, Hermione, the twins, and Nancy burst into laughter as soon as the girls had walked away. "You could start by letting everyone know the truth." Harry ordered.
(^*^)
Fred was really the only one that George had been dreading to tell, and with his brothers behind him the next week was spent bravely battling the evil Witch Weekly article. Harry began getting tailed less and less, the whistles and theft dwindled, and pretty soon a small war wasn't being fought over seats at the Gryffindor table. By Friday night, Harry was even left to do his Transfiguration essay in peace.
Though not all was peachy keen. The next day, bright and early in the morning, Nancy's 'mummie and daddie' were coming to visit. Headmaster Dumbledore had reserved a special breakfast room for the family to meet in the morning and eat in privacy, so at least if the parents threw a scene there wouldn't be anyone to gawk. But then again, there wouldn't be any witnesses if the colonel decided to get a little rough with the actual courtier of his daughter.
Harry hardly slept that night. Even after the hard quidditch practice, his aching bones and muscles only aided in keeping him in the land of the conscious.
"Must you be such a slave driver, Angie?" George had griped to the team captain. He was on edge that night because of his anxiety about the coming morning. The poor boy had suffered dearly for that remark, their captain had made him do ten extra laps around the field before he could go in.
Before their long-awaited slumber, however, Harry and George had sat down and written out a speech to recite the next day to the parentals. George was to use a lot of correct grammar and manners, and to come off as the perfect gentleman. And, consequently, to make that good behavior stand out even more, before any of the news was said Harry was to behave as an uncouth punk. This was hoped to make Mummie and Daddie welcome their well- behaved son-in-law with a bit of warm relief.
At five o'clock, a mere four hours of sleep later, a loud banging resounded on the fifth-year's dormitory door. "Floggit all, get the door Harry, it's prolly George." Ron hollered from his bunk.
Harry rose, with effort, and answered the persistent knocking on the door. Sure enough, George Weasley stood there looking like something out of Sense and Sensibility. He was wearing a yellow collared shirt and khaki slacks, with a smart scarlet bowtie. His long black cloak was slung over that getup, which brushed the tops of his shiny loafers. But it was face that most startled Harry; his usual mop of red hair was combed back with what looked like the same axle grease Hagrid used, and a pair of golden spectacles sat on George's nose. Harry had never seen George wearing glasses, and suspected they weren't necessary.
"How do I look?" George asked, spinning round and shrugging his shoulders at Harry.
"Wonderful, especially for freaking FIVE IN THE MORNING!!!" shouted Harry, and was prepared to shut the door in his face before George spoke again.
"I know its early, but I couldn't sleep. I've been up for two hours already, getting prepared, and this is what I came up with. Is it okay? D'you suppose I'll come off as a gentleman with a lot of potential?" George asked desperately. He was genuinely freaking out over this.
"You'll come off as a prick with that bowtie," Harry suggested, relenting and nudging any idea of sleep out of his brain. "You'd better lose it."
At once, George reached to his throat and ripped off the bowtie; it had been a clip on. "What about the glasses? Too much?" he persisted.
"Dunno, in fact they're not that bad if you actually did need them. Her parents haven't seen you before, so you could get away with it if you wanted, but for the rest of your life whenever you saw them, you would have to whip out the specs."
"I don't care what happens the rest of my life, all I want is today to go well, because if today goes well, then I will get a chance to HAVE the rest of my life."
"Fair enough. But there's just one more thing." said Harry.
"What, what is it? My freckles too showy? My prosthetic legs too long, too bendy, what?" George asked, panicking.
"The brown loafers clash with the black cloak." Harry stated simply.
George quickly whipped out his wand and pointed it at his shoes, changing them to black. "Honestly, you sound like Hermione. Better now?" he asked, stepping back and forth.
"Much." Harry agreed, shaking his head at the antics of his nervous friend.
(^*^)
Another four hours later, Harry, Nancy, and George were seated in the Olive Branch Room, the title of which the three hoped was an omen. It was a very official-looking conference room that Dumbledore had been perceptive enough to prepare for their little excursion that morning. Harry had a feeling the headmaster knew exactly what news was going to be disclosed that morning, too.
Harry could tell that the wait was killing George. He had decided to keep the spectacles, he said they made him look smarter. But currently they were sliding down his nose at an alarming pace because of how much the poor guy was sweating. "You'll be fine Georgie, don't worry!" Nancy tried to comfort him, but he just jumped a foot into the air at her touch and knocked a glass to the floor. It shattered into a million pieces on impact, which just put George in a more pathetic position.
"You're going to make yourself sick, the way you're obsessing like this. Settle down, if you just take it slow I know you'll be perfectly acceptable." chirruped Harry, repairing the glass and setting it back on the table, though further from the edge this time.
"Can't help it - nervous - sick - scared to death." George panted, too far gone to string together comprehensive sentences. Things weren't looking very good for the poor guy.
Finally, after a ten-minute wait that seemed to span a year or two, Mummie and Daddie finally showed.
Nancy's mother was very tall and graceful, with cropped blonde hair and bored brown eyes overly-painted with shocking blue eyeshadow. Harry thought that she looked pretty good for a woman of presumably forty, she wore a flashy sapphire cloak that matched her eyeshadow and barely came down to her knees.
Colonel Freeston, however, struck great fear into the hearts of all three youngsters. You could fit five of his wife across his belly, even though he was barely an inch taller than her himself. He wasn't obese like Uncle Vernon, Harry noticed, but carried a dignified bulk around his middle that came off as a threatening statement of other people he may have eaten in his lifetime. He was wearing the uniform from his days in the British Army, studded with medals and patches for bravery and killing. The dark hair on his head was buzzed short in a flat top, and he had traces of facial hair down his chin like he had been out late hunting down terrorists and hadn't had time to shave. The man certainly didn't look like he would be referred to as 'Grampa' some day. Harry felt very sorry for Nancy, having to have grown up with something like that.
"Why hello darling!" Mrs. Freeston squealed as soon as she got in the room, and her daughter rushed up to her and they embraced coolly. "Mummie has missed you so much, Nancy dear! Give Mummie a nice kiss." Nancy obliged, pecking her mother on each cheek as merely an empty symbol of affection.
"Good morning, Mother." Nancy greeted in a shy whisper, a voice Harry and George had never heard her use before. It sounded caged, withheld, like that of a beaten dog. If dogs could speak, that is.
"How's my little soldier?" the Colonel inquired gruffly, saluting his daughter.
"Very well, Papa. I trust you are in good health?" Nancy asked politely.
"Perfect fighting condition." the man replied.
Then Nancy turned around to her two friends still seated awkwardly at the table. "Mother, Father, I would like to introduce you to someone. This is -"
"Oh my goodness, Harry Potter!" Mrs. Freeston interrupted, rushing over to Harry. "We've heard so much about you and our little Nancy, oh, and we think it's simply marvelous, right Butch?"
"Yes, yes, bloody good match up, you two." Nancy's father agreed. Harry opened his mouth to speak and found that he couldn't make any sound come out. He heard a terrified squeak escape from George next to him.
It looked as if their rehearsed speech had gone right out the window.
Finally, remembering his (bad) manners, Harry showed some signs of life. "Hey. 'Sup." he said, somehow taking on the accent of a thug in the process.
"And this," Nancy began again, coming around to stand next to George. "is George Weasley."
"Nice to meet you," Nancy's mother snapped quickly. Then she turned back to Harry. "We're simply delighted to have you as almost a part of the family."
"Yes, it's quite an honor to have such a man for Nancy. Our little dumpling can't go with just any boy." the Colonel remarked. Harry saw George stare at his shoes and gulp ashamedly.
"The rest of the family's just as delighted, of course. Auntie Beatrice is sending you a complimentary cloak with the Freeston crest embroidered on it. You'll love it." Mrs. Freeston explained. It was now Harry's turn to gulp.
"You know, mother, don't you think you're being a bit presumptuous?" Nancy interjected, trying to undo what had been done.
But her mother just waggled a finger at her. "Oh no, you can't get our hooks out of him that easily, Nancy. Harry and you are simply meant to be together, you just cannot convince your father or me otherwise."
"You can't?" Harry asked.
"No." Mr. Freeston answered, with such a firm and decisive glare that Harry seriously began to fear for George's life when he got around to telling them. If he ever DID tell them.
"Let's sit down for breakfast, shall we?" Nancy prompted, to Harry's immense relief. Being surrounded by her parents like that was beginning to resemble an ambush.
"So, how are your classes going?" Mrs. Freeston asked.
"Nicely, Mother. We've begun learning Summoning Charms." explained Nancy blandly.
"That's nice." her mother answered.
"Oh Denise, aren't we forgetting something?" Mr. Freeston inquired.
"Goodness gracious, I nearly forgot!" his wife exclaimed in response. "Harry, Butch would like to give you a little something. Nancy, step out with Mommie for a moment, let's give these boys their privacy."
As Nancy and her mother left the room, Harry and George stared after them. Harry was convinced that Butch Freeston was going to give him one of two things: a sex talk or a whipping. Both seemed equally painful.
Mr. Freeston cleared his throat. "You - Greg - out." the man ordered, pointing to George as he spoke. Gleefully the redhead leapt up and shot out of the room; you'd have thought he had a gun to his head.
"Now, Harry," Mr. Freeston began. The man was pacing up and down in front of the table, making Harry feel as if he was being interrogated. "I feel very close to you already, as if you were my very own son. Nancy is very fond of you, I'm sure of it. She's told us so much about you."
Harry thought this was extremely odd, since he knew for a fact that Nancy had never mentioned him in one letter home. "Oh really?" the boy commented with a half-smirk.
The Colonel started fishing around in his uniform's breast pocket. "So naturally, I would like to present you with a token of the family's affection for you." He withdrew a small velvet box, which shocked fear into Harry's heart. It couldn't be a -
"Heirloom wedding ring." Mr. Freeston stated. Harry's mouth suddenly felt very cottony, and his toes seemed to fall off.
"Y-you want me to marry Nancy? NOW?!" Harry stammered, dumbfounded.
The burly man chuckled. "Of course not. But you see, Denise was just seventeen when we married, and I was a mere three years older than that. Young love is an amazing thing, Harry, and it gave us strength. And now, thirteen years later, we still love each other as much as the first day we met."
"So. so this is just for the future?" Harry guessed.
"An investment, if you will. A promise to make a promise. This is for that special day, in the not-so-far away future, when you will propose marriage to my daughter. And then you really will be a member of the family."
Mr. Freeston's words were punctuated by a loud BANG, as the door crashed open and George clambered into the room.
"NO!" he shouted, his face as white as a sheet, his freckles reduced to grayish speckles. "I LOVE NANCY!!"
Harry thought this was a very brave, but very stupid, thing to do.
* * * * *
A/N: Dunno why I love cliffhangers so much. Makes life more interesting, meh. But this whole scene with Nancy's parents was getting really, really long and I want to space it out. So. here you go. Half the confession. And you'll have the next in due time, don't fret. I promise to do my best to stay alive over the next week, and avoid high-traffic or radioactive areas. I'd hate to croak and leave y'all hanging!
Love from,
Saranimal
HaloGal5@aol.com (Don't forget to write!)
A/N: Ah, here it is, the infamous long-awaited visit from the in- laws. well, not technically Harry's in-laws, but you get the gist anywho, right? GOOD.
DISCLAIMER: Some people own Harry Potter. Some people don't own Harry Potter and pretend that they do. Some people like to run around with fruit on their heads and pretend to be a flamenco dancer named Roy the Toy. So many lifestyles. so little time. ;)
* * * * *
"Mummie and Daddie are coming for a little visit to see your adorable boyfriend, are they?" said Harry with dread.
"This is so bad. you don't know my parents, Harry, they're - ugh, I can't even begin to describe." replied Nancy, pacing around the first-year girls dormitories.
"Well, looks like I'm about to know your parents. what are we going to do? George'll be horrified." Harry predicted.
And so he was. Ten minutes later, when Harry and Nancy finally broke the news to him over breakfast, he was so panicked he actually ran out of the great hall. Chasing after him as nonchalant as possible, the two caught up with him on his way up the flight of stairs. He was stuck in the trick step.
"I cant BELIEVE this!" George yelled, his voice cracking. Harry felt sorry for his friend, and wasn't really even that mad about being blamed for going out with Nancy. Well, not as mad as he was before, anyway.
"We can get through this, I know we can." Nancy comforted, trying to help George pry his foot out of the step.
"First things first though. we've got to tell everyone else at Hogwarts." recommended Harry.
"Tell everyone what, Harry?" Ron's voice asked. The three of them jumped as the youngest Weasley boy came out of the great hall. "You three ran out of breakfast so fast; what the heck is going on here?"
Harry and George exchanged looks, and Harry took a deep breath and turned to Ron. George was swiping at him furiously, but Harry just stepped out of his reach, and the twin was pinned to the spot by his sunken leg. "You see -" Harry began.
But he didn't finish his explanation. George had unclipped his prosthetic leg and tackled Harry, and both boys rolled down the stairs with several unhealthy thumps along the way. The two landed at the foot of the stairs in a tangled heap.
"OW! Geroff, Harry, my elbow doesn't bend that way." George protested.
"Oh, I'm sorry George, I would move but some prat has decided to tackle me, and then sit on my head." Harry replied sarcastically. Nancy and Ron rushed down the stairs and helped their two friends up.
"What were you going to say, Harry?" Ron asked again.
"NOTHING!" George interrupted, taking his prosthetic leg from Nancy that she had retrieved from the trick step and began putting it back on.
"George, let him say it." Nancy pleaded, stroking his arm. He calmed down a bit, and then shook his head.
"If anything I should be the one to say it. After all, this whole mess is my fault." insisted George. And then, with a sigh, the belated explanation began.
"Ron, Harry and Nancy were never a couple. Harry was just covering for me - Nancy does have an older boyfriend, but it isn't him." At this point, George found it difficult to go on.
"Who is it then?" Ron asked after a expectant silence, looking at all three of them.
"It's me, Ron. I'm the culprit. Nancy and I - we're the ones going out." George finally declared, very rapidly, looking at the floor the whole time.
"WHAT?!" was the first thing out of Ron's mouth. Then he began to chuckle. His chuckle turned into a snicker, then from that to a laugh, then to a riotous mad guffaw. George looked enraged. "Oh - oh no, this is just too good. Ha, this is the best thing I've ever heard!" Ron got out between giggles.
"What's so hilarious about it?" his brother demanded.
"Everyone thinks it's Harry - and. HA! and all the girls are swooning, it's published in a magazine for Merlin's sake! And the best part is. hehe - HE DIDN'T EVEN DO IT!" Ron pointed out. The redhead then collapsed onto the floor and continued to laugh uproariously.
Harry had to admit, it was pretty funny. Even George and Nancy started to smile. "That wasn't so bad, huh Georgie?" Nancy asked. Her beau just glared at her, and the four of them walked into the great hall once more.
When George, Nancy, Ron, and Harry sat down at the Gryffindor table, there was a mad scuffle of girls to sit next to Harry. Parvati and Lavender even got in a minor catfight over who would pass Harry the biscuits when he asked for them - and in the end Hermione sighed loudly and got up from her seat at the opposite end of the table and grabbed what was left of the bread basket from the two girls and handed it to Harry. He smiled gratefully and she just raised her eyebrows at the scowling girls and smiled.
During Potions that day, poor Neville was left in the dark while every girl in the room, save Hermione, grappled to be partners with Harry. In the end their substitute, Professor Dorkin, was forced to use the Body-Bind Curse on Lavender and Parvati, who again were getting the worst of it. When the mob of females had finally settled down, Harry bandaged his badly scratched arm where Lavender had seized it.
Hermione was sitting with Ron behind her friend, tears streaming down her face from laughter.
While brewing Hormeyer Potion, used to relieve stomach cramps and gas, out of the blue Parvati raised her hand and asked Professor Dorkin about love potions. Snape had purposefully skipped that unit, of course, and all the girls were just dying to get their hands on some.
"Well, it's very complicated, advanced ingredients, yes, yes. hmm. very risky procedure, and when used, it makes the victim fall hopelessly in love with the brewer. fortunately, there is a counter-potion, so the effects are reversible." the substitute Potions Master explained, stroking his beard and trying to decide whether to give in or not.
Harry prayed the teacher would hold firm and not tell the girls the potion. He wouldn't be able to drink anything for the next three years without falling in love with someone or another.
But, fortunately for Harry, Professor Dorkin made a deal with the girls that if they did the Hormeyer Potion for today, then next week he would teach them the love potion. Harry knew that by then, the word would've gotten around that he'd never done any of those romantic things and he'd go back to being invisible. Surprisingly, Harry felt himself feeling a bit saddened by the idea. Although misdirected, the attention had actually been quite a nice change.
After Potions, a mob of girls huddled behind Harry all the way to the great hall for lunch. "This is utter madness!" Hermione screamed with exasperation, pushing back an eager first-year girl who had been stepping on Hermione's shoes in an attempt to get close to Harry.
"I think its rather comical, actually." Ron teased, and got a glare of death from Harry.
"It's getting bad, you guys, I mean bad. Somebody stole my Astronomy homework just because I had written my name on it! It took me three hours just to do the thing all over again." explained Harry.
"Don't worry Harry, I'm sure the little nympho's will settle down once they learn the truth." Ron comforted.
"The truth? What horrible rumor is going around this time?" Hermione asked, puzzled. Harry and Ron glanced quickly at each other, remembering that they hadn't told their other friend the real story yet.
"Oh, erm, well. I'm not exactly dating Nancy, per say." Harry said slowly.
"Per say? What, only your left leg is dating her?" Hermione suggested, laughing at her own wit. Harry smiled weakly.
"Well, actually George Weasley's left leg is the one dating her, along with the rest of his body." said Harry.
Mixed emotions flicked across Hermione's face at this. There was bewilderment, surprise, and somewhat to Harry's delight a look of relief. "What the - how - why does everyone think its you then?"
By now the group had been seated at the house table, Ron and Hermione on either side of Harry as to revert another battle in the war for a seat next to The-Boy-Who-Lived. "Well, that one night when I came out of the closet with Nancy, remember that?" Harry asked.
Hermione smiled sheepishly. "Well, of course. That looked really, really odd of you two, coming out of a small closet all rumpled and red and stuff." Perhaps the note of envy in her voice was just Harry's imagination.
"You see, what you didn't notice was that George came out of the closet a few minutes later. It was him and Nancy in there, I just happened to walk in at the wrong time. George didn't tell anyone because he was scared, he didn't want people to get the wrong idea." Harry continued.
"So he let everyone get the wrong idea anyways by agreeing with me when I asked him about Harry and Nancy," Ron put in. "Sorry about that, Har, I kinda started this whole fiasco, didn't I?"
"Yes you did." Harry replied, whacking his friend upside his red head.
"Wait, wait, wait. so that article in Witch Weekly is a fake? There was no relationship, no dinner in the astronomy tower, no making out in closets?" Hermione confirmed.
"Correct." replied Harry. Again, Hermione looked relieved, and Harry was puzzled, but pleased nonetheless, by this.
Unfortunately, this made a whopping TWO people that were aware of the actual truth, and many many others to tell. George felt the next person who should be told would be Fred, and Harry and Nancy let him tackle that one on his own. The seventh-year boys dormitories were awfully quiet for about ten minutes before the shouting began. The noises were muffled, but one voice sounded condescending while the other pleading. Harry felt for George, but after all this whole thing was his own fault.
A couple minutes later the shouting stopped. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Nancy looked at each other all thinking the same thing: had one of the twins been murdered? But in the next few seconds George and Fred came back down, arm in arm, and approached the waiting group.
"From what I hear, you're my future sister-in-law." Fred commented, grabbing Nancy's hand and shaking it.
The little blonde smiled. "So I guess you've heard. what's the verdict? You approve, or do we have to quiver in fear for the rest of the year?"
Fred laughed, and George seemed to relax a bit. "No, I approve just fine. Congratulations, on both the matrimony and the fine chaos you've gotten Harry into." said Fred.
"I do feel bad about that, Harry. what can I do to make it up to you?" George inquired earnestly.
Just then, Parvati and Lavender walked by, waving, winking, and sauntering in a revoltingly seductive way. "Hi Harry." Parvati cooed, in a husky voice much deeper than her normal one.
Ron, Hermione, the twins, and Nancy burst into laughter as soon as the girls had walked away. "You could start by letting everyone know the truth." Harry ordered.
(^*^)
Fred was really the only one that George had been dreading to tell, and with his brothers behind him the next week was spent bravely battling the evil Witch Weekly article. Harry began getting tailed less and less, the whistles and theft dwindled, and pretty soon a small war wasn't being fought over seats at the Gryffindor table. By Friday night, Harry was even left to do his Transfiguration essay in peace.
Though not all was peachy keen. The next day, bright and early in the morning, Nancy's 'mummie and daddie' were coming to visit. Headmaster Dumbledore had reserved a special breakfast room for the family to meet in the morning and eat in privacy, so at least if the parents threw a scene there wouldn't be anyone to gawk. But then again, there wouldn't be any witnesses if the colonel decided to get a little rough with the actual courtier of his daughter.
Harry hardly slept that night. Even after the hard quidditch practice, his aching bones and muscles only aided in keeping him in the land of the conscious.
"Must you be such a slave driver, Angie?" George had griped to the team captain. He was on edge that night because of his anxiety about the coming morning. The poor boy had suffered dearly for that remark, their captain had made him do ten extra laps around the field before he could go in.
Before their long-awaited slumber, however, Harry and George had sat down and written out a speech to recite the next day to the parentals. George was to use a lot of correct grammar and manners, and to come off as the perfect gentleman. And, consequently, to make that good behavior stand out even more, before any of the news was said Harry was to behave as an uncouth punk. This was hoped to make Mummie and Daddie welcome their well- behaved son-in-law with a bit of warm relief.
At five o'clock, a mere four hours of sleep later, a loud banging resounded on the fifth-year's dormitory door. "Floggit all, get the door Harry, it's prolly George." Ron hollered from his bunk.
Harry rose, with effort, and answered the persistent knocking on the door. Sure enough, George Weasley stood there looking like something out of Sense and Sensibility. He was wearing a yellow collared shirt and khaki slacks, with a smart scarlet bowtie. His long black cloak was slung over that getup, which brushed the tops of his shiny loafers. But it was face that most startled Harry; his usual mop of red hair was combed back with what looked like the same axle grease Hagrid used, and a pair of golden spectacles sat on George's nose. Harry had never seen George wearing glasses, and suspected they weren't necessary.
"How do I look?" George asked, spinning round and shrugging his shoulders at Harry.
"Wonderful, especially for freaking FIVE IN THE MORNING!!!" shouted Harry, and was prepared to shut the door in his face before George spoke again.
"I know its early, but I couldn't sleep. I've been up for two hours already, getting prepared, and this is what I came up with. Is it okay? D'you suppose I'll come off as a gentleman with a lot of potential?" George asked desperately. He was genuinely freaking out over this.
"You'll come off as a prick with that bowtie," Harry suggested, relenting and nudging any idea of sleep out of his brain. "You'd better lose it."
At once, George reached to his throat and ripped off the bowtie; it had been a clip on. "What about the glasses? Too much?" he persisted.
"Dunno, in fact they're not that bad if you actually did need them. Her parents haven't seen you before, so you could get away with it if you wanted, but for the rest of your life whenever you saw them, you would have to whip out the specs."
"I don't care what happens the rest of my life, all I want is today to go well, because if today goes well, then I will get a chance to HAVE the rest of my life."
"Fair enough. But there's just one more thing." said Harry.
"What, what is it? My freckles too showy? My prosthetic legs too long, too bendy, what?" George asked, panicking.
"The brown loafers clash with the black cloak." Harry stated simply.
George quickly whipped out his wand and pointed it at his shoes, changing them to black. "Honestly, you sound like Hermione. Better now?" he asked, stepping back and forth.
"Much." Harry agreed, shaking his head at the antics of his nervous friend.
(^*^)
Another four hours later, Harry, Nancy, and George were seated in the Olive Branch Room, the title of which the three hoped was an omen. It was a very official-looking conference room that Dumbledore had been perceptive enough to prepare for their little excursion that morning. Harry had a feeling the headmaster knew exactly what news was going to be disclosed that morning, too.
Harry could tell that the wait was killing George. He had decided to keep the spectacles, he said they made him look smarter. But currently they were sliding down his nose at an alarming pace because of how much the poor guy was sweating. "You'll be fine Georgie, don't worry!" Nancy tried to comfort him, but he just jumped a foot into the air at her touch and knocked a glass to the floor. It shattered into a million pieces on impact, which just put George in a more pathetic position.
"You're going to make yourself sick, the way you're obsessing like this. Settle down, if you just take it slow I know you'll be perfectly acceptable." chirruped Harry, repairing the glass and setting it back on the table, though further from the edge this time.
"Can't help it - nervous - sick - scared to death." George panted, too far gone to string together comprehensive sentences. Things weren't looking very good for the poor guy.
Finally, after a ten-minute wait that seemed to span a year or two, Mummie and Daddie finally showed.
Nancy's mother was very tall and graceful, with cropped blonde hair and bored brown eyes overly-painted with shocking blue eyeshadow. Harry thought that she looked pretty good for a woman of presumably forty, she wore a flashy sapphire cloak that matched her eyeshadow and barely came down to her knees.
Colonel Freeston, however, struck great fear into the hearts of all three youngsters. You could fit five of his wife across his belly, even though he was barely an inch taller than her himself. He wasn't obese like Uncle Vernon, Harry noticed, but carried a dignified bulk around his middle that came off as a threatening statement of other people he may have eaten in his lifetime. He was wearing the uniform from his days in the British Army, studded with medals and patches for bravery and killing. The dark hair on his head was buzzed short in a flat top, and he had traces of facial hair down his chin like he had been out late hunting down terrorists and hadn't had time to shave. The man certainly didn't look like he would be referred to as 'Grampa' some day. Harry felt very sorry for Nancy, having to have grown up with something like that.
"Why hello darling!" Mrs. Freeston squealed as soon as she got in the room, and her daughter rushed up to her and they embraced coolly. "Mummie has missed you so much, Nancy dear! Give Mummie a nice kiss." Nancy obliged, pecking her mother on each cheek as merely an empty symbol of affection.
"Good morning, Mother." Nancy greeted in a shy whisper, a voice Harry and George had never heard her use before. It sounded caged, withheld, like that of a beaten dog. If dogs could speak, that is.
"How's my little soldier?" the Colonel inquired gruffly, saluting his daughter.
"Very well, Papa. I trust you are in good health?" Nancy asked politely.
"Perfect fighting condition." the man replied.
Then Nancy turned around to her two friends still seated awkwardly at the table. "Mother, Father, I would like to introduce you to someone. This is -"
"Oh my goodness, Harry Potter!" Mrs. Freeston interrupted, rushing over to Harry. "We've heard so much about you and our little Nancy, oh, and we think it's simply marvelous, right Butch?"
"Yes, yes, bloody good match up, you two." Nancy's father agreed. Harry opened his mouth to speak and found that he couldn't make any sound come out. He heard a terrified squeak escape from George next to him.
It looked as if their rehearsed speech had gone right out the window.
Finally, remembering his (bad) manners, Harry showed some signs of life. "Hey. 'Sup." he said, somehow taking on the accent of a thug in the process.
"And this," Nancy began again, coming around to stand next to George. "is George Weasley."
"Nice to meet you," Nancy's mother snapped quickly. Then she turned back to Harry. "We're simply delighted to have you as almost a part of the family."
"Yes, it's quite an honor to have such a man for Nancy. Our little dumpling can't go with just any boy." the Colonel remarked. Harry saw George stare at his shoes and gulp ashamedly.
"The rest of the family's just as delighted, of course. Auntie Beatrice is sending you a complimentary cloak with the Freeston crest embroidered on it. You'll love it." Mrs. Freeston explained. It was now Harry's turn to gulp.
"You know, mother, don't you think you're being a bit presumptuous?" Nancy interjected, trying to undo what had been done.
But her mother just waggled a finger at her. "Oh no, you can't get our hooks out of him that easily, Nancy. Harry and you are simply meant to be together, you just cannot convince your father or me otherwise."
"You can't?" Harry asked.
"No." Mr. Freeston answered, with such a firm and decisive glare that Harry seriously began to fear for George's life when he got around to telling them. If he ever DID tell them.
"Let's sit down for breakfast, shall we?" Nancy prompted, to Harry's immense relief. Being surrounded by her parents like that was beginning to resemble an ambush.
"So, how are your classes going?" Mrs. Freeston asked.
"Nicely, Mother. We've begun learning Summoning Charms." explained Nancy blandly.
"That's nice." her mother answered.
"Oh Denise, aren't we forgetting something?" Mr. Freeston inquired.
"Goodness gracious, I nearly forgot!" his wife exclaimed in response. "Harry, Butch would like to give you a little something. Nancy, step out with Mommie for a moment, let's give these boys their privacy."
As Nancy and her mother left the room, Harry and George stared after them. Harry was convinced that Butch Freeston was going to give him one of two things: a sex talk or a whipping. Both seemed equally painful.
Mr. Freeston cleared his throat. "You - Greg - out." the man ordered, pointing to George as he spoke. Gleefully the redhead leapt up and shot out of the room; you'd have thought he had a gun to his head.
"Now, Harry," Mr. Freeston began. The man was pacing up and down in front of the table, making Harry feel as if he was being interrogated. "I feel very close to you already, as if you were my very own son. Nancy is very fond of you, I'm sure of it. She's told us so much about you."
Harry thought this was extremely odd, since he knew for a fact that Nancy had never mentioned him in one letter home. "Oh really?" the boy commented with a half-smirk.
The Colonel started fishing around in his uniform's breast pocket. "So naturally, I would like to present you with a token of the family's affection for you." He withdrew a small velvet box, which shocked fear into Harry's heart. It couldn't be a -
"Heirloom wedding ring." Mr. Freeston stated. Harry's mouth suddenly felt very cottony, and his toes seemed to fall off.
"Y-you want me to marry Nancy? NOW?!" Harry stammered, dumbfounded.
The burly man chuckled. "Of course not. But you see, Denise was just seventeen when we married, and I was a mere three years older than that. Young love is an amazing thing, Harry, and it gave us strength. And now, thirteen years later, we still love each other as much as the first day we met."
"So. so this is just for the future?" Harry guessed.
"An investment, if you will. A promise to make a promise. This is for that special day, in the not-so-far away future, when you will propose marriage to my daughter. And then you really will be a member of the family."
Mr. Freeston's words were punctuated by a loud BANG, as the door crashed open and George clambered into the room.
"NO!" he shouted, his face as white as a sheet, his freckles reduced to grayish speckles. "I LOVE NANCY!!"
Harry thought this was a very brave, but very stupid, thing to do.
* * * * *
A/N: Dunno why I love cliffhangers so much. Makes life more interesting, meh. But this whole scene with Nancy's parents was getting really, really long and I want to space it out. So. here you go. Half the confession. And you'll have the next in due time, don't fret. I promise to do my best to stay alive over the next week, and avoid high-traffic or radioactive areas. I'd hate to croak and leave y'all hanging!
Love from,
Saranimal
HaloGal5@aol.com (Don't forget to write!)