Disclaimer:::
No not mine. Unless the esteemed JKR would like to sell it to me for um…let's see…Ten dollars and 56 cents, a rubber ball and a feather….Don't you think that's a good deal??! No? Oh well..I tried..
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How Voldermort finally ruled the world…..except Hawaii.
Another Parody by Crimson Flame
Harry Potter and his two best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were walking down the dirty worn down path towards The Three Broomsticks. It was just another night out for them to chill out in Hogsmeade.
They entered the pub and sat down by the bar. Harry ordered a drink called 'I'm stressed'. Hermione ordered a drink called 'I'm smart' and Ron ordered a drink called 'I'm sexy'. So there the three sat; stressed, smart and sexy---an amazing combination I must say---looking around at the silent shop save for the annoying drone of the singer on the mini-stage. People in the tavern were looking at idiot, almost ready to kill.
"AVaDa kEd…umph!!!"
Madam Rosmerta quickly silenced the drunkard on Harry's right with a devastating blow to the head. The man slumped to the floor and lay there unmoving.
"Oh no you don't. No deaths in my bar please. It's quite a hassle to remove the body."
"He's not breathing Rosmerta." Harry said after much observation.
"Oops. Oh well. Hey you in the blue shirt. Do me a favor and apparate this thing into the lake would you? I think the giant squid is hungry. I haven't fed it in two days."
Harry sighed as he saw someone drag the body away. Harry gave another long sigh as another customer gaped and pointed at his scar. It was beginning to really annoy him. Whenever someone entered the pub, they would immediately trade whispers, all the while staring at him. Did they really think that he was blind? Didn't their mothers teach them it's not polite to stare?
By now Harry was seething with rage. "Alright, the next person who gapes at me or my scar is gonna get it." He muttered. Then true enough, Sirius Black entered and stared at Harry in surprise for he hadn't expected that his Godson would be there.
"AAAAARRRGGHHH!!!!!"
Harry ran up to Sirius, punched him in the nose, poked his eyes and kicked his You-Know-What.
"THAT IS IT!!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!!"
Harry went to the mini-stage, stole the mike from Professor Snape (You remember..the idiot singer?) and jumped onto it after pushing him off.
( Sung to the tune of Bye Bye Bye from N' Sync )
I'm doing this tonight,
I'm, just gonna quit from the fight,
I, know this can't be right,
But people c'mon,
I, trained hard endlessly,
But, you'all still pressure me,
So, now it's time to leave and make it alone.
I know that I can't take no more,
It ain't no lie,
I'm gonna leave you through that door,
People bye bye bye.
===
Don't wanna be a fool for you,
Just another player in this war for two,
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,
People bye bye bye.
Just know that I had had it tough,
My pleasure to tell you that I've had enough,
It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie,
People bye bye bye.
===
I suddenly saw the truth,
You, all use me through and through,
So, give me one good reason,
People c'mon,
Why, should you count on me?
Just, coz' I'm the boy who lived?
My, life would be much better, once I'm gone.
===
I know that I can't take no more,
It ain't no lie,
I'm gonna leave you through that door,
People bye bye bye.
===
Don't wanna be a fool for you,
Just another player in this war for two,
You may hate me but it ain't no lie,
People bye bye bye.
Just know that I had had it tough,
My pleasure to tell you that I've had enough,
It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie,
People bye bye bye.
Crickets chirped.
Then there was a sound of someone clapping. Oops. Sorry. That actually was Professor McGonagall trying to swap a fly she failed to transfigure.
"Hey Albus. Shut your gaping mouth. Your breath stinks! No wonder you like those sherbet lemons. And you too Lockhart! Did you realize that you've left your false teeth at home?" Ginny Weasley shouted out.
Suddenly Voldermort appeared from the shadows.
"Hey Harry! Are you leaving me dude?"
"Sure dude. Never did like the whole I-hafta-fight-you-to-the-death thing."
"Yay!! Now I get to rule the world!!! It's gonna be so much fun!!!! Hihiihihiihihi!!!" Voldermort was giggling like a little schoolgirl.
"Oh and Voldie my good man. Could you spare a little island in the Pacific Ocean for me and the Mrs.?"
At that Hermione jumped up from her seat and squealed. "Harry!!! Are you proposing??!!!" After that, she fainted.
"Sure dude. How about Hawaii?" Voldermort suggested.
"Awesome dude. That's really nice of you."
"Aww…gee Harry. No need to say that." Voldermort looked down blushing and swayed on his feet.
"Come on Myrtle." Harry said to the moaning ghost who had suddenly appeared in the tavern and walked out, apparating away to Hawaii.
And so with Harry's absence, the Dark Lord managed to conquer the entire world…except for Hawaii. The world labored under his tyranny to produce enough Chocolate Frogs for his Lord's appetite.
Meanwhile speaking of Hawaii…..
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On one of its beautiful sandy beaches, lay the world's savior…uh destroyer, on his back sunbathing. Harry looked up and saw a tiny blue streak zipping across the waves. Immediately he shouted out.
"Hey Stitch! You really have to teach me how to surf one day! And maybe Lilo could teach me how to do the Hula."
And so Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived could be found every day surfing with a blue alien from space and wiggling his hips with a girl at night.
==THE END==
Huh? What? What happened to Ron you ask? Well….Who did you think the drunkard on Harry's right was then?
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Hah! Finished!! Author notes that this is THE most insane fic she's ever written. =P
Did you like this fic? Like it enough to leave a few words in my review page? Please?
Another disclaimer::: The song Bye Bye Bye is not mine, Lilo and Stitch aren't mine either.
When I tried to modify the song, it was almost so true to the situation that I only had to change a few things. Scary eh? ^___^;;
Well I just wrote this to take a break from my main project "The Prophecy of Draco" Go read it! Please? Onegaishimas? Um..Tolonglah? It's a nice mystery. *Warning! Warning! Author may be delusional ^____^;;* Read it here::: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1134876
Also if you like this fic go read my other songfic parody, "Just another Potions lesson" here::: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1131019
Ok. Enough with the advertisement.
Review, review, review. *Chants* @___@
NOW!!!