Yu-gi-oh Parody:
The Gauntlet is thrown
Episode 2
(Joey and Tea are playing Duel Monsters, and this time, Tea is the one whooping the **** out of Joey)
Joey: Ah man! How does she do that?! I can't believe you won again!
Tea: I'm just good.
Joey: Nah, you just got lucky!
Tea: WANNA BET! I'll play you again!
Joey: Bring it on!
(Another duel starts)
Joey: Ha! I'll use my Kuriboh!
Others: WHAT?!
Joey: What is it? Was that a bad move or something?
Tea: (yawn) I'll use my Dark Hole, then my Dark Elf. (yawn) I'll attack your life points directly.
Joey: WHAT?!
Tristan: Face it, Joey. You stink.
Joey: Yeah, well I'm gonna beat someone someday. You just wait...
Tea: By the time we're done waiting, we'll all be dead!
Joey: Well, at least you can't beat me when you're dead!
(everyone falls down anime style)
(Later that day)
Joey: Hey, Yugi! Take a look at my deck, will ya?
Yugi: Sure. Let me see it. Hmm...monster, monster, monster Joey, this deck sucks!
Joey: That's right. I got it packed with the strongest...HEY!!!
Yugi: You'll never win with these cards! Your deck has no magic or traps cards, and these monsters are horrible!!
Joey: Uh, so, should I make a stronger deck?
Yugi: Uh, duh?
Joey: Sheesh! Ya don't have ta be so rude.
Yugi: Let's go to my Grandfather's shop. He teaches the biggest losers in the world how to play duel monsters easily. So he might actually have a chance teaching you.
Joey: Hey thanks, Yugi.
Yugi: Grandpa! You here?
Grandpa: Hey, Yugi! What's up?
Yugi: Well, I-
Joey: I AM NOT A LOSER!!
Yugi: wanted to see if you'll teach Joey here how to play Duel Monsters.
Grandpa: Hmm, this pathetic slob? Well, I guess it's worth a try. It won't be easy. Think you're up to it Joey?
Joey: Piece of cake.
Grandpa: THAT kind of optimistic attitude and determination is exactly why I don't teach freaks like you how to play Duel Monsters in the first place!!
Joey: O...kay, that made a lot of sense.
Grandpa: Duel Monsters is a very complex game, and it will take days, maybe even weeks of hard vigorous training before you even start to understand it! Now, what is the strongest monster in the game?
Joey: Uh, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon?
Grandpa: The weakest?
Joey: Kuriboh?
Grandpa: Do you know what a trap card is?
Joey: Um...you set it, and you can activate it at the start of your opponent's next turn or anytime after that?
Grandpa: Can you tell me which specific fusion monster had an attack of 3200 and a defense of 2500?
Joey: The Black Skull Dragon. It's formed by fusing a Summoned Skull with a Red Eyes Black Dragon using a Polymerization card. The Black Skull Dragon's special attack is the molten fireball.
Grandpa: YOU IDIOT!! IF YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT, WHY DON'T YOU APPLY YOUR KNOWLEDGE IN AN ACTUAL GAME?
Joey: Wait, you can do that?!
(Grandpa falls down anime style)
(The next day, at Yugi's house, everyone but Gramps and Joey are watching a duel monsters tournament on TV)
Tristan: Wow! The championships. This oughta be sweet.
(Joey appears lying down of the sofa)
Joey (dazed and tired): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. So tired. Working hard. Must sleep, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, and dream about Tea...
Tea: WHAT?!!
Joey: I mean, uh, dream about...uh, kicking your butt in, uh...duel monsters. Yeah, that's it. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Tea: I feel sick.
Grandpa: Wake up, Joey!
(cracks a whip in front of him)
Joey: OW!
Grandpa: We still have much to do. We must perfect using a combo with Dark Magician equipped with metalmorph against a Light monster weak against it that's equipped with an attack boosting card to further increase your monster's attack power while simultaneously lowering the opponent's attack back to its original power since it has a strong weakness to Dark type monsters!
(long silence)
Grandpa: I'm going to teach you how to kick your opponent's-
Yugi: Hey look! It's Weevil and Rex. The two finalists.
TV announcer: And we're down to the final round in our duel monsters finals. Please give it up for Weevil Underwood, the insect freak!! Or...the freak!!
Weevil: Thank you, thank you! I've always...HEY!!
TV dude: And, our returning champion...Rex Raptor, the dinosaur master! And isn't it strange how his name resembles that of a dinosaur? Only, he's a lot uglier than one!!!
Rex Raptor: Shut up already!
Grandpa: Hey, Yugi. This package came for you, today.
Yugi: Let's see. Wow, it's from Industrial Illusions!
Joey: The company that makes duel monsters? Why the heck would they be sending a package to you?
Yugi: They must have heard that I defeated the world champion.
Tea: You mean Kaiba?
Tristan (sarcastically): No, he heard that Yugi beat Joey and he's impressed at Yugi's skill for that.
Yugi: Ha! If Industrial Illusions sent a package to everyone who could defeat Joey, there wouldn't be enough money in the world just to ship them out!
(All laugh)
Joey: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...HEY, WAIT A SECOND!!
Yugi: Shhhhhh...watch this tournament.
TV dude: And Raptor has defeated yet another of Weevil's monsters. Looks like Weevil's bugs are getting squashed every turn in this duel.
Rex: Take this, Weevil! I summon my Two-Headed King Rex!
TV dude: And Raptor has just summoned his King Rex card.!
Weevil: Heh heh heh heh heh. Poor me. All I have to defend with is this Basic Insect card.
TV dude: And all Weevil has to defend with is his Basic Insect card.
Rex: Ha! Giving up so easily? King Rex, squash that inferior insect!
TV dude: Rex orders his monster to squash the inferior insect!
Weevil: Heh heh heh heh heh. You've just walked right into my trap! Vortex activate!!
TV dude: And Rex Raptor's King Rex has just walked into Weevil's trap with his-
Rex and Weevil: SHUT UP!!
TV dude: And I've been ordered to shut up!
Weevil: My vortex traps your monster on the field and makes him incapable of moving at all! And I'll use Armor with Firepower to power up my Basic Insect!! Attack! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
Rex: Aaaaaahh!! Do you have to laugh like that every turn?! It's giving me a headache!!
TV Dude: And Weevil has defeated Rex Raptor! Please give it up for our new champion, Weeeeeeviiiiiiiillllll Underwooooooood!!!!!!!!! And here to present to duel monsters trophy himself, Maximillioooonnnnnnnnnnnnn-
Pegassus: Shut up!!
TV dude: Again with the cut-downs?!
Pegassus: Congratulations, Weevil. And in honor of our new champion, I invite you to a whole new duel monsters tournament at duelist kingdom.
Weevil: Uh, thanks. Hey, what's with that stupid metal eye?
Pegassus: Ggrrrrrrrrrrrrr...DON'T...DIS...THE EYE!!!!
Rex Raptor: Hey! Don't I get a shot at the tournament?
Pegassus: Yeah fine, whatever, FORMER champion.
Grandpa: Yugi, in all the excitement, you forgot to open your package.
Yugi: Oh, yeah!
(opens it.)
Yugi: Huh? It's a glove, and some stars. And a video tape.
Tristan: Well, pop it in. Watch it.
Video: Good evening, Yugi Moto. I am Maximillion Pegassus.
Tea: Isn't that the same guy we saw on T.V.?
Joey: Nah, this guy's metal eye is much stupider.
Pegassus: If you were just paying attention to the tournament you were watching, you would know to NEVER...DIS...THE EYE!!!!!
Joey: Dat was freaky, man.
Pegassus: Oh it was, was it? Well, not as freaky as what I'm about to do next!
Joey: Wait, if this is a videotape, how does it know what we're saying right now?
Tristan (imitating Joey and talking stupidly): Duh... maybe it's a magical enchanted tape gifted with mystical powers!
Joey: Don't be stupid, Tristan. Tapes don't have magic. This one probably has a spy cam or something.
Tristan: AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!
Pegassus: I've heard all about your special gift in duel monsters. Especially of your defeat of the great Seto Kaiba. So, I'd like to duel you right now. We'll play on a strict time limit of 15 minutes!
Tea: How does he expect Yugi to duel a videotape?
Pegassus: It won't be a videotape. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(Pegassus uses magic to freeze his friends and take them and Yugi and himself all to the shadow realm.)
Yugi: What is this place?
Pegassus: It is called the shadow realm. Where dark magical forces take place all the time. And the impossible is quite possible.
Yugi: Let us go now!! What do you want from me?
Pegassus: Don't worry. Your friends are in no harm. But I will ask that you duel me right now. This won't be like any duel you've ever done. I'm in a whole other league, even better than the idiot Seto Kaiba!! Ha ha ha ha ha! If you win, I'll gladly release your friends and you and your grandpa. But if I win...well, you'll just have to find out for yourself.
Yugi: Then it's time to duel!
Voice: YUGIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Yami Yugi: Let's go, Pegassus!
Pegassus: Fine. You go first, Yugi. And I would be careful about that dragon monster you're about to play.
Yami Yugi: What?! How did he-? (thinking) Can Pegassus read my mind?
Pegassus: No, Yugi. I can't read your mind. I have no powers to do that whatsoever.
Yami Yugi (thinking): Good. Because if Pegassus could read my mind, I'd be in trouble in this duel.
Pegassus: Yes, you would Yugi. I'll go ahead and counter your Kumouri Dragon with my Dragon Capture Jar.
Yami Yugi: What?! You said you couldn't read my mind!
Pegassus: You're a real idiot for someone who defeated Kaiba, Yugi. Actually, forget that last part. You're an idiot compared to anyone!
Yami Yugi (thinking): Pegassus is right. With him being able to read my mind and me having a low intelligence, I'm done for in this duel.
Pegassus: Well, I guess you're at least a little smarter than I give you credit for. Anyway, I'll now use my Dragon Charmer to release the card out of the jar under my control on the field.
Yami (thinking): I must counter! Silver Fang!
Pegassus: That's your counter?
Yami: Yeah, I didn't want to risk using my Giant Soldier of Stone of Mystical Elf without knowing your real strategy.
Pegassus (thinking): I can't believe it. Not only have I been extremely lucky on guessing his cards, and very VERY lucky on guessing his thoughts, he's now telling me his hand. I better take advantage of his extreme stupidity.
Pegassus: Uh, Yugi? My Millennium Eye is broken. What were the cards in your hand again?
Yami: You think I'm an idiot?
Pegassus (thinking): Great. NOW he's thinking strategically.
Yami: You'd expect me to respond to that by telling you my cards, but I'd suspect your little game. So, I'd say no. BUT, you'd also expect that next, and you have some strategy to use after I say no. Therefore, you DON'T want me to tell you my cards, so I WILL tell you my cards! HA! Beat that!
Pegassus (thinking): Maybe he's a little TOO strategic. And getting dumber every second.
Yami: I have Shadow of Eyes, Gaia the Dark-
Pegassus: -Grand
Yami: FIERCE Knight, Shadow of Eyes-
Pegassus: You said that.
Yami: I did?
Pegassus: You did.
Yami: No, I didn't.
Pegassus: YOU DID!
Yami: -, Elf Swordsman and the Left Arm of Exodia. Ha! You'd think I'd fall for your little...OH, DARN IT!! DARN IT!! DARN IT!!!!!!
Pegassus: Took you that long to figure out what I was doing? Hah! I laugh at you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Yami: Duh! Of course "HAHAHAHAHAHA" means laughing, Pegassus! And you think I'M the dumb one? Sheesh!!
Pegassus (thinking): I just want to strangle this kid!
Pegassus: Whatever. At least you're still losing right now as the clock has ticked down to 14 minutes! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Tell me, Yugi. Do you believe that there's a heart in these cards?
Yami: You oughta know! You invented this game!
Pegassus: What if I told you I didn't?
Yami: I'd say "WHAT?!"
Pegassus: Well, I am not the actual creator of Duel Monsters in a matter of speaking.
Yami: WHAT?!
Pegassus: You see, long ago...when the Pyramids were still young, Egyptian kings played a game of great and terrible power.
Yami: Oh, brother. Do I have to listen to this again?
Pegassus: But these "shadow games" erupted into a war that threatened to destroy the entire world. Until a brave and powerful pharaoh locked the magic away.
Yami: Shut up, already!
Pegassus: Imprisoning it within the mystical millennium items...Now, 5000 years later, a boy named Yugi unlocks the secret of the millennium puzzle. He is infused with ancient magical energies, for destiny has chosen him to defend the world from the return of the shadow games, just as the brave pharaoh did...5000 years ago...(hums theme song)
Yami: I'VE ALREADY HEARD ALL OF THAT!! WILL YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IT ALL MEANS?!?!?!
Pegassus: Basically, these monsters were real, I turned them into cards, and I want your millennium puzzle. Five minutes left, Yugi.
Yami: Since you know my hand, I play a card that you CAN'T see! I'll place the card on top of my deck on the field face down.
Pegassus: What if it's a magic card?
Yami: Good point...then I'll place it in the magic card area.
Pegassus: What if it's a monster card?
Yami:...you're good. But I have faith in my grandfather's cards. I'll play this in attack mode!! The Dark Magician!!
Pegassus: I'll play the Faceless Mage.
Yami: The what?
Pegassus: And I'll use Polymerization to combine it with the Eye of Illusion?
Yami: The what?
Pegassus: And I'll create the Illusionist Faceless Mage.
Yami: The what?
Pegassus: Your turn, Yugi.
Yugi: What? Oh, yeah. Dark Magician! Dark magic attack!!
Pegassus: Why does that thing use its hands if it has a staff?
Yami: WHY IS EVERYONE ASKING ME THAT?!?! But I think your Mage is destroyed.
Pegassus: Think again.
Yami: (thinking) Okay, I'm done. What? My Dark Magician is gone, and your Faceless Mage is still standing!
Pegassus: What makes you think that, idiot boy?
Yami: Silver-haired-freak!!
Pegassus: Growling dope!!
Yami: Metal Eye!!
Pegassus: (gasp) You didn't...
Yami: I did...did what?
Pegassus: DON'T DIS THE EYE!!! You'll pay for that. Dark Magic attack!!
Yami: Ahhh!! The Illusionist Faceless Mage doesn't have a dark magic attack. (gasp) It was my own dark magician!
Pegassus: Your move. Fifteen seconds left and I'm winning.
Yami: Summoned Skull attack mode! ATTACK!!
Summoned Skull: Arrgh!!
(10)
Summoned Skull: Arrrgh!!!!
(9)
Summoned Skull: AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! (BAM)
(8)
Yami: Hah! I won with time to spare!
Pegassus: So what? I can still take my prize.
Yami: What prize? You didn't win!!
Pegassus: So? I'm evil. (takes Gramps's soul)
Grandpa: YYUUUUUGGGIIIIIIIII!!!
Yugi: Grandpa? GRANDPA!! GRANDPA!! GRANDPA!!! GRANDPA!!! GRANDPA!!!
Grandpa: What?!!
Yugi: Grandpa?
Grandpa: HHEEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!!!
(Joey and Tea are playing Duel Monsters, and this time, Tea is the one whooping the **** out of Joey)
Joey: Ah man! How does she do that?! I can't believe you won again!
Tea: I'm just good.
Joey: Nah, you just got lucky!
Tea: WANNA BET! I'll play you again!
Joey: Bring it on!
(Another duel starts)
Joey: Ha! I'll use my Kuriboh!
Others: WHAT?!
Joey: What is it? Was that a bad move or something?
Tea: (yawn) I'll use my Dark Hole, then my Dark Elf. (yawn) I'll attack your life points directly.
Joey: WHAT?!
Tristan: Face it, Joey. You stink.
Joey: Yeah, well I'm gonna beat someone someday. You just wait...
Tea: By the time we're done waiting, we'll all be dead!
Joey: Well, at least you can't beat me when you're dead!
(everyone falls down anime style)
(Later that day)
Joey: Hey, Yugi! Take a look at my deck, will ya?
Yugi: Sure. Let me see it. Hmm...monster, monster, monster Joey, this deck sucks!
Joey: That's right. I got it packed with the strongest...HEY!!!
Yugi: You'll never win with these cards! Your deck has no magic or traps cards, and these monsters are horrible!!
Joey: Uh, so, should I make a stronger deck?
Yugi: Uh, duh?
Joey: Sheesh! Ya don't have ta be so rude.
Yugi: Let's go to my Grandfather's shop. He teaches the biggest losers in the world how to play duel monsters easily. So he might actually have a chance teaching you.
Joey: Hey thanks, Yugi.
Yugi: Grandpa! You here?
Grandpa: Hey, Yugi! What's up?
Yugi: Well, I-
Joey: I AM NOT A LOSER!!
Yugi: wanted to see if you'll teach Joey here how to play Duel Monsters.
Grandpa: Hmm, this pathetic slob? Well, I guess it's worth a try. It won't be easy. Think you're up to it Joey?
Joey: Piece of cake.
Grandpa: THAT kind of optimistic attitude and determination is exactly why I don't teach freaks like you how to play Duel Monsters in the first place!!
Joey: O...kay, that made a lot of sense.
Grandpa: Duel Monsters is a very complex game, and it will take days, maybe even weeks of hard vigorous training before you even start to understand it! Now, what is the strongest monster in the game?
Joey: Uh, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon?
Grandpa: The weakest?
Joey: Kuriboh?
Grandpa: Do you know what a trap card is?
Joey: Um...you set it, and you can activate it at the start of your opponent's next turn or anytime after that?
Grandpa: Can you tell me which specific fusion monster had an attack of 3200 and a defense of 2500?
Joey: The Black Skull Dragon. It's formed by fusing a Summoned Skull with a Red Eyes Black Dragon using a Polymerization card. The Black Skull Dragon's special attack is the molten fireball.
Grandpa: YOU IDIOT!! IF YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT, WHY DON'T YOU APPLY YOUR KNOWLEDGE IN AN ACTUAL GAME?
Joey: Wait, you can do that?!
(Grandpa falls down anime style)
(The next day, at Yugi's house, everyone but Gramps and Joey are watching a duel monsters tournament on TV)
Tristan: Wow! The championships. This oughta be sweet.
(Joey appears lying down of the sofa)
Joey (dazed and tired): ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. So tired. Working hard. Must sleep, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, and dream about Tea...
Tea: WHAT?!!
Joey: I mean, uh, dream about...uh, kicking your butt in, uh...duel monsters. Yeah, that's it. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Tea: I feel sick.
Grandpa: Wake up, Joey!
(cracks a whip in front of him)
Joey: OW!
Grandpa: We still have much to do. We must perfect using a combo with Dark Magician equipped with metalmorph against a Light monster weak against it that's equipped with an attack boosting card to further increase your monster's attack power while simultaneously lowering the opponent's attack back to its original power since it has a strong weakness to Dark type monsters!
(long silence)
Grandpa: I'm going to teach you how to kick your opponent's-
Yugi: Hey look! It's Weevil and Rex. The two finalists.
TV announcer: And we're down to the final round in our duel monsters finals. Please give it up for Weevil Underwood, the insect freak!! Or...the freak!!
Weevil: Thank you, thank you! I've always...HEY!!
TV dude: And, our returning champion...Rex Raptor, the dinosaur master! And isn't it strange how his name resembles that of a dinosaur? Only, he's a lot uglier than one!!!
Rex Raptor: Shut up already!
Grandpa: Hey, Yugi. This package came for you, today.
Yugi: Let's see. Wow, it's from Industrial Illusions!
Joey: The company that makes duel monsters? Why the heck would they be sending a package to you?
Yugi: They must have heard that I defeated the world champion.
Tea: You mean Kaiba?
Tristan (sarcastically): No, he heard that Yugi beat Joey and he's impressed at Yugi's skill for that.
Yugi: Ha! If Industrial Illusions sent a package to everyone who could defeat Joey, there wouldn't be enough money in the world just to ship them out!
(All laugh)
Joey: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...HEY, WAIT A SECOND!!
Yugi: Shhhhhh...watch this tournament.
TV dude: And Raptor has defeated yet another of Weevil's monsters. Looks like Weevil's bugs are getting squashed every turn in this duel.
Rex: Take this, Weevil! I summon my Two-Headed King Rex!
TV dude: And Raptor has just summoned his King Rex card.!
Weevil: Heh heh heh heh heh. Poor me. All I have to defend with is this Basic Insect card.
TV dude: And all Weevil has to defend with is his Basic Insect card.
Rex: Ha! Giving up so easily? King Rex, squash that inferior insect!
TV dude: Rex orders his monster to squash the inferior insect!
Weevil: Heh heh heh heh heh. You've just walked right into my trap! Vortex activate!!
TV dude: And Rex Raptor's King Rex has just walked into Weevil's trap with his-
Rex and Weevil: SHUT UP!!
TV dude: And I've been ordered to shut up!
Weevil: My vortex traps your monster on the field and makes him incapable of moving at all! And I'll use Armor with Firepower to power up my Basic Insect!! Attack! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!
Rex: Aaaaaahh!! Do you have to laugh like that every turn?! It's giving me a headache!!
TV Dude: And Weevil has defeated Rex Raptor! Please give it up for our new champion, Weeeeeeviiiiiiiillllll Underwooooooood!!!!!!!!! And here to present to duel monsters trophy himself, Maximillioooonnnnnnnnnnnnn-
Pegassus: Shut up!!
TV dude: Again with the cut-downs?!
Pegassus: Congratulations, Weevil. And in honor of our new champion, I invite you to a whole new duel monsters tournament at duelist kingdom.
Weevil: Uh, thanks. Hey, what's with that stupid metal eye?
Pegassus: Ggrrrrrrrrrrrrr...DON'T...DIS...THE EYE!!!!
Rex Raptor: Hey! Don't I get a shot at the tournament?
Pegassus: Yeah fine, whatever, FORMER champion.
Grandpa: Yugi, in all the excitement, you forgot to open your package.
Yugi: Oh, yeah!
(opens it.)
Yugi: Huh? It's a glove, and some stars. And a video tape.
Tristan: Well, pop it in. Watch it.
Video: Good evening, Yugi Moto. I am Maximillion Pegassus.
Tea: Isn't that the same guy we saw on T.V.?
Joey: Nah, this guy's metal eye is much stupider.
Pegassus: If you were just paying attention to the tournament you were watching, you would know to NEVER...DIS...THE EYE!!!!!
Joey: Dat was freaky, man.
Pegassus: Oh it was, was it? Well, not as freaky as what I'm about to do next!
Joey: Wait, if this is a videotape, how does it know what we're saying right now?
Tristan (imitating Joey and talking stupidly): Duh... maybe it's a magical enchanted tape gifted with mystical powers!
Joey: Don't be stupid, Tristan. Tapes don't have magic. This one probably has a spy cam or something.
Tristan: AAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!
Pegassus: I've heard all about your special gift in duel monsters. Especially of your defeat of the great Seto Kaiba. So, I'd like to duel you right now. We'll play on a strict time limit of 15 minutes!
Tea: How does he expect Yugi to duel a videotape?
Pegassus: It won't be a videotape. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
(Pegassus uses magic to freeze his friends and take them and Yugi and himself all to the shadow realm.)
Yugi: What is this place?
Pegassus: It is called the shadow realm. Where dark magical forces take place all the time. And the impossible is quite possible.
Yugi: Let us go now!! What do you want from me?
Pegassus: Don't worry. Your friends are in no harm. But I will ask that you duel me right now. This won't be like any duel you've ever done. I'm in a whole other league, even better than the idiot Seto Kaiba!! Ha ha ha ha ha! If you win, I'll gladly release your friends and you and your grandpa. But if I win...well, you'll just have to find out for yourself.
Yugi: Then it's time to duel!
Voice: YUGIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Yami Yugi: Let's go, Pegassus!
Pegassus: Fine. You go first, Yugi. And I would be careful about that dragon monster you're about to play.
Yami Yugi: What?! How did he-? (thinking) Can Pegassus read my mind?
Pegassus: No, Yugi. I can't read your mind. I have no powers to do that whatsoever.
Yami Yugi (thinking): Good. Because if Pegassus could read my mind, I'd be in trouble in this duel.
Pegassus: Yes, you would Yugi. I'll go ahead and counter your Kumouri Dragon with my Dragon Capture Jar.
Yami Yugi: What?! You said you couldn't read my mind!
Pegassus: You're a real idiot for someone who defeated Kaiba, Yugi. Actually, forget that last part. You're an idiot compared to anyone!
Yami Yugi (thinking): Pegassus is right. With him being able to read my mind and me having a low intelligence, I'm done for in this duel.
Pegassus: Well, I guess you're at least a little smarter than I give you credit for. Anyway, I'll now use my Dragon Charmer to release the card out of the jar under my control on the field.
Yami (thinking): I must counter! Silver Fang!
Pegassus: That's your counter?
Yami: Yeah, I didn't want to risk using my Giant Soldier of Stone of Mystical Elf without knowing your real strategy.
Pegassus (thinking): I can't believe it. Not only have I been extremely lucky on guessing his cards, and very VERY lucky on guessing his thoughts, he's now telling me his hand. I better take advantage of his extreme stupidity.
Pegassus: Uh, Yugi? My Millennium Eye is broken. What were the cards in your hand again?
Yami: You think I'm an idiot?
Pegassus (thinking): Great. NOW he's thinking strategically.
Yami: You'd expect me to respond to that by telling you my cards, but I'd suspect your little game. So, I'd say no. BUT, you'd also expect that next, and you have some strategy to use after I say no. Therefore, you DON'T want me to tell you my cards, so I WILL tell you my cards! HA! Beat that!
Pegassus (thinking): Maybe he's a little TOO strategic. And getting dumber every second.
Yami: I have Shadow of Eyes, Gaia the Dark-
Pegassus: -Grand
Yami: FIERCE Knight, Shadow of Eyes-
Pegassus: You said that.
Yami: I did?
Pegassus: You did.
Yami: No, I didn't.
Pegassus: YOU DID!
Yami: -, Elf Swordsman and the Left Arm of Exodia. Ha! You'd think I'd fall for your little...OH, DARN IT!! DARN IT!! DARN IT!!!!!!
Pegassus: Took you that long to figure out what I was doing? Hah! I laugh at you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Yami: Duh! Of course "HAHAHAHAHAHA" means laughing, Pegassus! And you think I'M the dumb one? Sheesh!!
Pegassus (thinking): I just want to strangle this kid!
Pegassus: Whatever. At least you're still losing right now as the clock has ticked down to 14 minutes! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Tell me, Yugi. Do you believe that there's a heart in these cards?
Yami: You oughta know! You invented this game!
Pegassus: What if I told you I didn't?
Yami: I'd say "WHAT?!"
Pegassus: Well, I am not the actual creator of Duel Monsters in a matter of speaking.
Yami: WHAT?!
Pegassus: You see, long ago...when the Pyramids were still young, Egyptian kings played a game of great and terrible power.
Yami: Oh, brother. Do I have to listen to this again?
Pegassus: But these "shadow games" erupted into a war that threatened to destroy the entire world. Until a brave and powerful pharaoh locked the magic away.
Yami: Shut up, already!
Pegassus: Imprisoning it within the mystical millennium items...Now, 5000 years later, a boy named Yugi unlocks the secret of the millennium puzzle. He is infused with ancient magical energies, for destiny has chosen him to defend the world from the return of the shadow games, just as the brave pharaoh did...5000 years ago...(hums theme song)
Yami: I'VE ALREADY HEARD ALL OF THAT!! WILL YOU JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HECK IT ALL MEANS?!?!?!
Pegassus: Basically, these monsters were real, I turned them into cards, and I want your millennium puzzle. Five minutes left, Yugi.
Yami: Since you know my hand, I play a card that you CAN'T see! I'll place the card on top of my deck on the field face down.
Pegassus: What if it's a magic card?
Yami: Good point...then I'll place it in the magic card area.
Pegassus: What if it's a monster card?
Yami:...you're good. But I have faith in my grandfather's cards. I'll play this in attack mode!! The Dark Magician!!
Pegassus: I'll play the Faceless Mage.
Yami: The what?
Pegassus: And I'll use Polymerization to combine it with the Eye of Illusion?
Yami: The what?
Pegassus: And I'll create the Illusionist Faceless Mage.
Yami: The what?
Pegassus: Your turn, Yugi.
Yugi: What? Oh, yeah. Dark Magician! Dark magic attack!!
Pegassus: Why does that thing use its hands if it has a staff?
Yami: WHY IS EVERYONE ASKING ME THAT?!?! But I think your Mage is destroyed.
Pegassus: Think again.
Yami: (thinking) Okay, I'm done. What? My Dark Magician is gone, and your Faceless Mage is still standing!
Pegassus: What makes you think that, idiot boy?
Yami: Silver-haired-freak!!
Pegassus: Growling dope!!
Yami: Metal Eye!!
Pegassus: (gasp) You didn't...
Yami: I did...did what?
Pegassus: DON'T DIS THE EYE!!! You'll pay for that. Dark Magic attack!!
Yami: Ahhh!! The Illusionist Faceless Mage doesn't have a dark magic attack. (gasp) It was my own dark magician!
Pegassus: Your move. Fifteen seconds left and I'm winning.
Yami: Summoned Skull attack mode! ATTACK!!
Summoned Skull: Arrgh!!
(10)
Summoned Skull: Arrrgh!!!!
(9)
Summoned Skull: AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! (BAM)
(8)
Yami: Hah! I won with time to spare!
Pegassus: So what? I can still take my prize.
Yami: What prize? You didn't win!!
Pegassus: So? I'm evil. (takes Gramps's soul)
Grandpa: YYUUUUUGGGIIIIIIIII!!!
Yugi: Grandpa? GRANDPA!! GRANDPA!! GRANDPA!!! GRANDPA!!! GRANDPA!!!
Grandpa: What?!!
Yugi: Grandpa?
Grandpa: HHEEEEELLLLPPPPPP!!!!!