'Pain. Like needle-pricks to the skin. Like a thousand daggers piercing my body. Ripping my chest open to squeeze what's left of my broken heart. The water feels so harsh against my flesh. But his pain, this physical pain, cannot hurt as much as how much I hurt emotionally. Nothing can compare…they have grabbed my heart out of my chest only to shred it apart, bit-by-bit. But now, I end this pain. I shall feel no more…'
* * *
"NOOOOO!!! QUATRE!!!"
Trowa stripped off his jacket and dived in after the blonde. 'Quatre, I will not let you leave me like this. Never…'
The arctic waters pricked Trowa's skin but all he could think about was getting to Quatre. He spotted the boy further down the river and began to swim after him as fast as he could. When he was close enough, Trowa grabbed Quatre's jacket and held him close while pulling the boy's limp body towards the bank of the river.
"Holy shit!" Duo cried running along the shore to keep up with the other two in the water. Right behind him was Heero. Once close enough to the shore, Duo and Heero grabbed at Trowa and Quatre and pulled them out of the water.
"Come on. We need to get him inside, now." Heero said. "Duo, go find Wufei."
"Right." With a nod, Duo left to find the other pilot.
Heero lifted Quatre's body easily into his arms. He turned to Trowa. "Let's go."
Exhausted, Trowa could only nod and follow the cobalt-eyed boy as they made their way back to the safe house.
* * *
'Warmth. I feel…warmth. Why? Why do I feel anything at all? Oh no…it didn't work…I didn't die…No!! Why? Why didn't it work? Why can't I just die? Why, why, why….'
* * *
Quatre slowly opened his eyes. He was lying down on a mattress that had been placed on the floor by the fireplace. The fire made little cracking noises from the wood. The blonde was then aware of how heavy his body felt. He tried to move but found his limbs too heavy to move. He blinked. Quatre realized that it wasn't his own body that was heavy but the body of another. At this realization, Quatre shot up on the mattress, causing the owner of the body to stir.
"Quatre?"
Quatre turned his gaze towards the person's head. "Trowa…"
"Quatre!" Trowa shot up and embraced the smaller boy.
Quatre was then suddenly aware of his and the other pilot's lack of clothing. They were both wearing nothing but boxers.
Trowa pulled away abruptly, holding Quatre by his shoulders an arm's length away. "How could you try to kill yourself, Quatre? What on earth made you that desperate to do such a thing?"
Quatre just stared at Trowa through the firelight. Then he brought his hands to his face as tears burst through. Trowa pulled the smaller boy back to him and gently rocked him back and forth.
"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you cry…shhh…" Trowa whispered into Quatre's hair.
Quatre pushed Trowa. "But you did!! You and everybody else!! For nights now, I've been crying myself to sleep! And it's all your fault…it's all…my fault…" Quatre's last words were a mere whisper.
"Quatre…" Trowa once again pulled Quatre to him and held the blonde close. This time, Quatre didn't push away.
"It's my fault…I'm just a bother….to you, to everyone. No one wants me around…I-I-"
"Shhh…Why in the world would you think such a thing?"
Quatre just shook his head against Trowa's chest while his tears continued to fall from his eyes.
"It's okay…rest now, Quatre. We can talk in the morning…"
Trowa slowly lay back down onto the mattress while still holding the smaller boy. The two fell asleep to the sounds of Quatre's sniffling and the firewood cracking softly in the fireplace.
* * *
It was well into the morning and Heero, Duo and Wufei were all sitting at the kitchen table.
"I just don't understand why Quatre would do something that drastic." Duo said. "I mean, sure, we weren't exactly paying him a lot of attention the past week, but still. To try to kill himself over it?"
Heero nodded. "He's right."
Wufei cradled his chin with his left hand. "There must be something more to it than just this week."
"Yeah. But what?" Duo looked from Wufei to Heero. No one knew.
Just then, Trowa came into the kitchen. He stood against the wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Hey Tro." Duo said.
Heero and Wufei nodded in greeting.
"Morning. I convinced Quatre to come down. He should be here in a bit."
The three nodded and the room was silent once more.
After a few moments, Quatre entered the kitchen, watching his feet. He looked up at the other pilots who looked right back at him.
Duo plastered on a huge grin. "Hey Q-man! Have a seat." The violet-eyed pilot got up and pulled out Quatre's seat the way a butler would. When the blonde sat Duo beamed. "Can I get you something? I know how much you like tea. I think I'll go get you some tea." Duo began to march off into the kitchen.
"Duo, wait." The braided boy stopped at looked at Quatre. "I don't want any tea. Thank you anyway."
"You sure?"
Quatre simply nodded. Duo sighed and sat back down.
Minutes passed and no one said a word.
'They're still doing it...' Quatre realized. 'They're still so quiet around me…they still don't want me around…' Quatre stared at his hands as tears slowly began to rise.
Trowa was the first to notice Quatre. He stood upright and kneeled down before the blonde boy. "Quatre, what's wrong?"
The small boy's tears burst from his eyes. "Why couldn't you just let me go?! I wanted to die! I want to die! Death is better than this! Anything is better!"
Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre's trembling body.
"Quatre…what?" Heero began confused as to what 'this' Quatre was talking about.
"Why can't I just die? It's not like any of you will miss me…"
"That's not true Quatre." Duo said, concerned. "Why would you say that?"
"Because it is true!" Quatre looked up at Duo. "None of you want me around! So I made it easier on you by trying to kill myself but you just wouldn't let me go! How much more do I have to suffer!?"
"Quatre, why would you think that we don't want you around?" Wufei asked.
The blonde looked at the Chinese boy through his tears. "You were the one who was too busy. You yelled at me when I didn't even do anything. I'm just a pain to you."
Wufei blinked in surprise.
"Quatre, listen-" Heero tried.
"No! You listen! You were the one that left me out. You didn't want me near you."
"That's not-" Heero started.
"Quatre, it was nothing like that." Duo interrupted.
"Oh, please Duo. I thought you were my friend. But as soon as I turned my back you go on telling Heero just how much you're annoyed with me."
"Wha…?" Duo tried to recall what Quatre was thinking about.
"Quatre, calm down." Trowa said softly. "You don't understand-"
"No Trowa. I understand perfectly. None of you want me around. Never had, never will. I'm just the weak one. Weak, annoying, bothersome Quatre. That's who I am and that's all I'll ever be…" Quatre was silenced with sobs that overcame his small form.
Heero stood and kneeled down next to Quatre. "You are not weak. Never believe that you're weak cause that's the last thing that you are. And you are wanted. You're our friend."
Quatre looked at Heero. "But…but you guys didn't want me with you when you guys went out to that movie…"
"Quatre," Wufei said, causing the boy to look at him. "We went out that night to plan for your surprise party that Heero was setting up. We didn't want you with us because we didn't want to ruin the surprise."
Quatre just blinked.
"And about me blowin' you off," Duo interrupted. "It's not cause I didn't want you with me. Me an' Heero really did have something planned."
"We're in love." Heero simply said.
Quatre just blinked again in surprise. "But I heard you say that you wanted me to leave you alone…"
Duo shook his head. "No, no, silly Cat. I wasn't talking about you. There's this guy, Tomei. He's been pesterin' me for the past few weeks. He was the one that I wanted to leave me alone."
Quatre looked down, ashamed.
"But…Wufei…said I was a bother…"
"I was just irritated from earlier that day." Wufei explained. "Some guy dared to flirt with Sally. Injustice." The Chinese boy got up from his seat and stood behind the Arabian boy.
Quatre covered his face in his hands. "Oh Allah…I'm so stupid…"
"You're not stupid. You just…misunderstood, is all." Heero said, softly.
"I'm sorry, guys. I thought you didn't want me around anymore…"
"You're our friend. And we're like family." Wufei said.
Quatre looked up and gave a small smile to everyone.
"Awww…Group hug!!" Duo smiled. He crawled over the table and wrapped his arms around his fellow pilots. "Never, never, never do anything like that again without talking to us. Got it?"
Quatre nodded and received a sloppy kiss to his temple from Duo.
When the hug broke up, Wufei stood and straightened out his clothes. "Ahem. Well if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go over to see Sally. Quatre, just remember that we do care about you. And no matter what, we always will." Wufei gave a slight bow before heading off to Sally's place.
Heero and Duo both sat on the table in front of Quatre, Trowa still kneeling down beside the blonde.
"You guys, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to Quatre alone, please." Trowa said. The two nodded before standing to leave the other two pilots alone.
"Trowa, I'm so sorry…" Quatre started.
"There's nothing to be sorry about Quatre."
"It's just that, I thought you didn't care. And that just especially since I felt closer to you than with any of the others. I didn't want to go on knowing that I annoy you."
"Quatre, shhh." Trowa said softly, placing a finger up to the blonde's fair lips, effectively silencing him. "Did you mean it?"
With Trowa's finger to his lips Quatre could only arch an eyebrow.
"In your letter. You said that you loved me. That you always have and you always will. Did you mean it?" He asked again.
Quatre nodded.
"Oh, Quatre…" Trowa moved his finger from Quatre's lips to cup his cheek in his palm. "Seeing you drop from that bridge, trying to kill yourself, it nearly killed me. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't reached you and lost you."
"Trowa…"
"I don't think I could have lived on without you. I don't think I'd even want to. You see, Quatre…I love you too."
Fresh tears sprung from aqua eyes at the rush of emotion that shot to Quatre's heart. Quatre launched himself at Trowa, knocking them both down onto the floor. The blonde buried his face in Trowa's chest before looking up into emerald orbs filled with nothing but love. Trowa lifted himself slightly up off the floor and kissed Quatre, filling this kiss with as much love as he possibly could so Quatre would know just how much he felt. Quatre kissed back with just as much passion.
Just then, Duo decided to walk in. "Awww…why don't you two get a room?"
Neither heard him, nor did they care. All they knew were each other and the love that they shared.
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters. I own Tomei and a cool robe I got for Christmas.
So here it is. The happy ending. I don't really like how it ended but I had no other idea of how to. But for all you people who wanted happy, here is happy cause nearly all who reviewed wanted Quatre to live. I don't really like killing him all that much anyway.