Disclaimer: Why should we re-type this? Elvish is shown between '" and "'
Also, this goes back a bit, beginning at the Mirrormere (we left off in
Lothlorien)
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-----*-----Durin's Stone Thingy-----*-----
Gimli took Frodo off to the stone thingy above Mirrormere. Caran and Tom follow.
When they reached the Stone, Caran broke out laughing. Gimli grunted indignatly, Frodo stared, and Tom broke out in a fit of coughs. Gimli grunted again, this time louder. Caran laughed some more, caught his breath, and explained, all the while Tom was coughing.
"Once Tom was chased by a deer. At a place that looked just like this. It was funny, yes, yes, very funny! The look on his face was priceless," the Elf tried to explain. Tom had finished coughing long enough to glare at Caran. Gimli shrugged and turned back to the water.
A splash drenched the three gazers. Tom looked to the left and gulped visibly when he saw his friend's garments lying on the bank. Something to the effect of "Woo-hoo-oo!" came from the Elf in the water. Swimming to shore, he climbed up and lay on the bank (in his boxers, sick minded folks). He sucked in breath as Tom began to follow his suit, pulling his shirt over his head.
As Gimli cursed at them for swimming in the Mirrormere, he felt a tug on his beard. He toppled forward into the water, fully dressed. Frodo was laughing on the bank, when he too was pulled into the water. Gimli climbed on the bank and removed his clothes, leaving only his pants on. Frodo climbed out, shaking and drenched. He stared at the Dwarf, Elf, and Hobbit swimming happily around in the Mirrormere. Aragorn came down and stared in horror at the people enjoying, forgetting the fact the Gandalf had just fallen into shadow.
"Caran...Caran, oh, quit it! Caran Mugwort, Tombo Took, Gimli...Gimli...Gimli son of Gloin! Get back on land! And, for Gondor's sake, put more clothes on!" the Ranger called. Tom laughed and swam toward Aragorn. The Man lept with the grace of an Elf as the Dwarf attempted to drag him in. He saw Frodo, still panting on the bank.
Tom climbed back on bank and pulled his pants, shirt, and waistcoat on. He searched around for his glasses, muttering under his breath. He found them and put them on. By that time Gimli and Caran had come to the bank and were fully dressed. They all followed Aragorn.
They continued on their journey to the Nimrodel. Aragorn gave them a stern look, as if to say: "No! No! And no once more! No swimming!" Caran smiled.
Legolas sang his song...or tried to. Of course Caran and Tom had to break out laughing at the whole diving into the sea part. Legolas somehow managed to finish his song. Before he could even tell the Fellowship to cross, Caran was running through the stream with Tom close on his heels. The others passed, Aragorn cursing quietly. When they reached the trees, the laughter from the trees caused Caran to stagger backwards, knocking himself and Tom down. Then Tom knocked down Pippin, then Pippin Legolas, then Legolas Aragorn, then Boromir Sam, then Sam Frodo, then Frodo Gimli, then Gimli hit his head on a rock. Legolas was the first to get up, so he actually got to talk to the Elves.
"...They also say you breathe so loudly that they could shoot you in the dark," Legolas transualted. Tom and Caran began laughing. "What is it now?"
"It's just that...Sam's not even breathing!" Tom managed to get out between bursts of laughter. A ladder came down, which Caran scurried up with Sam under one arm. Legolas, Tom, and Frodo followed.
In the tree, Haldir introduced himself. Caran pointed to the Hobbit, who was still not breathing.
"I think someone should do something. I mean, not breathing is bad. And he's changing colors now," the Elf said. Frodo nodded.
'If I ever have to go to Mordor without anyone else but Sam, and if Sam's...well, dead, then I'd be stuck with a lunatic," Frodo thought, shuddering. Haldir looked at the unconcious, semi-dead Hobbit.
'"Choking perhaps. No, seems to be a head injury. No, it's not the scratch. Legolas, what happened?"' Haldir asked, looking at Legolas.
'"Ask the Hobbit. And the other Elf. They know all about it. It's their fault. Maybe you could also blame it on Frodo and Boromir. I always say it's dangerous for a Man to knock a Hobbit down,"' Legolas answered.
'"Indeed. Well, let us have a look."' Haldir looked at the Hobbit and smiled. '"Simple enough. Someone get some water. Cold mind you."' An Elf went down the ladder and came back with a bit of water. Haldir threw it on Sam, who immeadately woke up with a start.
"Where am I? Why does my head hurt? Where's Mr. Frodo?" Sam said quickly. Tom chuckled now that he'd found yet another way to annoy his siblings, when he got back. For now Caran would have to do.
Sam and Tom scurried back down the ladder, just to have to climb up it again. Caran followed, refusing to sleep with the "Snorers" (Aragorn, Boromir, and Gimli. Can't you just imagine them snoring?). Caran took off his Elvin boots. The Hobbits began to cough and choke. Caran looked at them.
"What?" he said innocently. Tom gagged.
"Your...feet," Tom managed to splutter out. Caran snickered.
"Are you trying to say that your feet don't stink after gym?"
"No...yes...maybe." They laughed. "Hey, Caran, look at this!"
"What? Oooooooh! (a la lil' Toy Story aliens)"
"I've got a hole in me pocket!" They started laughing again. Tom streched and lay on the ground. Caran curled up at Tom's feet, using the Hobbit's legs as a pillow. Sam smiled and nodded.
"Just as Gimli said, Mr. Frodo. Bestfriends," he said, turning to Frodo. Frodo nodded. The others lay down and soon were asleep. Frodo drifted into an uneasy sleep.
He woke to find Caran and Tom doing...well, something. Light bounced off something as Tom scrounged through his pack. He held some shiny aloft. Tom had an evil smile on his lips and Caran had the look of the devil. Sam was snoring softly. Caran and Tom talked in whispers and nodded. Crawling over to the sleeping form of Merry. They poked and prodded the Hobbit, only to find him fast asleep. Tom nodded and took a large roll of duct tape. He began taping the unsuspecting Merry.
When morning dawned, Caran and Tom were sleeping soundly. Pippin got up and streched. Sam and Frodo soon followed. But Merry was duct taped into and under his blankets. Tom looked at Caran, nodded, and high-fived him. They smiled and Caran drew his knife. He walked over to the Hobbit and carefully took the duct tape off his mouth. Merry wriggled and groaned in pain. Tom joined his friend with a knife. The cut the duct tape. Sweat glistened on their brows as they worked. Merry looked terrified.
When he was free, Merry ran to the edge of the flet. He was prepared to jump, fearing who had stuck him to the ground, when Tom grabbed the back of his shirt. Merry reluctantly stopped trying to kill himself and went down the ladder.
When they were on the ground, Tom turned to Caran. He tapped his head rapidly saying, "Crazy Hobbits." (if anyone's ever read an Asterix and Obelix comic, you'll get this).
Haldir came to greet them with news. Tom chuckled when Haldir reported that there had actually been no orcs, just a little...thing.
--*--time forward! Whooooooooooooo-hoooo-hoooo! They are at the gate that they get blindfolded--*--
'Blindfolded,' Caran thought to himself. 'Blindfolded and hyper. This is trouble. Wonder if Lothlorien has food. Hopefully it's not another place with all guys ruled by a most likely gay lord. No, Celeborn can't be gay. He's married. Hey...that means girls...' On the shorter side of things, Tom was pondering more serious things.
'If we left Aragorn alone, would he become the Lone Ranger?' Uh, did I say important. Yes, I did. Uh....his priorities are mixed. (N/n: Hey! Okay, this earns you five whacks). 'About that mirror...will Galadriel in the movie? Will she freak out? Hopefully not...wait, maybe it'd be a good thing. No, then there won't be any gifts except for Frodo's phail.' They walked until night, leaving Tom and Caran to their ponderings.
Late that night, about one, Caran felt a foot on his side. He woke and looked, well attempted to look, at the person who had stepped (it felt more like hopped) on him. Tom's muffled, pained cries reached Caran's ears. Caran bared his teeth and snapped at the foot in his side. Tom yelped and Caran shuddered at the taste of dirty hair. He grunted slightly, then rolled over (you know? like a dog in front of a warm fire). Tom muttered and sat down, rubbing his bitten foot.
"Wonder if John's poisonious," he said out-loud. Tom shrugged and crawled over to his blankets. He rolled himself in one and immeadately fell asleep.
A kick in his side woke Tom in the morning. He opened one eye, but (still being blindfolded) saw nothing. He waves his hands in front of his face. "I'm blind! It's finally happened! I knew getting glasses was a bad sign. And...I'm blindfolded," the Hobbit began screaming, but ended in a I'm-a- total-idiot tone. He pondered getting out of his blanket...but it was so warm. He grabbed Caran's boot and kinda...slugged along.
About half way through a day of hard slugging for Tom (Caran took off his boot as soon as he discovered his "friend" hitching a ride), they finally reached a place to rest. An Elf tripped over the panting Tom/blanket. Tom came out and was ambushed by Caran. The Elf quickly untied the blindfold and ran off like someone who's just taken the blindfold off an alligator. In his tree, he looked down on Tom.
"Hisssssss, light! Hiss! Hisssss!" the Hobbit said. He hissed then retreated into his blanket, having to re-roll himself. Suddenly the blanket leapt in the air (J/n: please don't ask, he does it alot...usually lands on the floor though, broke his glasses once)(N/n: shut up) and a muffled shout came from under it. The blanket flew off the Hobbit, making him hiss quietly at the sun again. Tom scampered up a tree. Caran climbed up after him.
"Took! Git yer 'ide down 'ere!" the Elf yelled in a horrible, fake accent. Laughter came from above. A hard object hit Caran on the head. He rubbed his head and grabbed a large, hairy foot that was dangling. Pulling on the foot, he brought himself and Tom crashing down to the ground.
"What was that for, Caranirithion?"
"Why must you use my full name?"
"Because, I like big words. Like 'uncopywritable. Or 'Caranirithion'. Or 'Tom Bombadil'. Or 'Loth-'"
"Mr. Tom, sir, begging your pardon, but 'Tom Bombadil' is two words," Sam corrected.
"Too bad. If you say it fast enough, it sounds like one word. Anyway, what WAS that for Caran?"
"They want to see us."
"But...I don't want to see the scary peoples! She might meet my voices. And my muses. And I KNOW she'll kill poor Lurtzie. And Cirinirithion. Just because Cirin's a bit of a...f-r-e-a-k." The hobbit continued on in that manner until the Men were on their knees, the Dwarf had his fingers in his ears and was humming a drinking song, and the Elves and Hobbits were rolling on the ground in agony. Tom drew a deep breath and finished his speech. Caran got up holding his head. Soon the others did also.
They continued into to the gate of the city. Half way there, Caran got bored and started rumaging through his pack. He pulled out two books, one was a thin, hard-backed, red book that had a picture of a wizard on the front as read "The Enchanted World" "Wizards and Witches" and the other a semi-thick, soft-cover, off white that read "The Two Towers". Caran handed the thinner book to Tom, who opened it and egearly began reading about demons/imps. Tom tapped Haldir on the shoulder.
"What?" Haldair asked, slightly annoyed.
"Does anyone here have a silver ring?"
"No."
"Scrolls?" Tom pointed to some text, which Haldir read.
"No."
"Pepsi?"
"Yes, I mean, NO!" Tom sighed and went back to his reading.
By the time they'd reached the white gates, Tom had finished the wizard book and was having an avid conversasion with Pippin about the reasons Gandalf and the other wizards of Middle-Earth weren't in there (Pippin has read the book after Tom). Haldir brought them in the gates and into the hall of Galadriel.
~~*~*~~
"I know who you are, Tombo Took!" a voice rang in Tom's head.
"And I know who you are, where you live, and what you did last summer! Mwhahahahahahahaha!"
"Smart a-"
"Don't. No cursing, crazy queen elf lady."
"Fine, evil crazy author hobbitish boy!"
"Shut up. Quiet."
"No."
"I know what you did last winter."
"Yeah? What?"
"I'm keepin' this rating PG, lady."
"Da-"
"NO CURSING!"
"Shi-"
"NO! You don't stop cursing, I'm gonna bit oof those ears o' yers!"
"Fine." At the same time, John had a very odd look in his eyes.
"Really?"
"Yessssss."
"Are you Gollum?"
"Yessssss, gollum."
"Fu-"
"NO CURSING! Bad Caran!"
"Fine. Flip off." Celeborn droned on, then Galadriel. Unsmartly, Tom peered over the edge and then immeadately leapt forward, landing on Galadriel. He began hyperventilating. He scrambled off Galadriel, but sat as far from the edges as he could and assumed the 'tornado drill position'. Caran sighed, shook his head, and went over to his friend. He put a hand on his friend's shoulder and shook the shoulder. Tom bit the hand, hard enough to make it bleed. Caran bit his lower lip, until it started bleeding as well. He started cursing loudly.
Aragorn came over and clapped a hand to the Elf's mouth. He gave Caran a serious look that pretty much said, "Shut up and let me look at your wounds, or I'll be biting off those ears of yours." Caran nodded and Aragorn removed his hand.
Taking the Elf's hand gingerly (there wasn't exacty tons of unbitten space), he shook his head. He turned to the lower lip next. Placing a hand under the Elf's chin, he inspected the small cut.
"Where you bit your lip should just scab over and heal, not even leaving a scar. But you need that hand bandaged," he announced. Celeborn whispered something in Galadriel's ear that sent them both laughing. Celeborn motioned to an Elf, who came forward with a large, heavy object in his hand.
~~*~~*~~
Caran put his uninjured hand on a lump on the back of his head. He looked around and noted the trees. He was on a bed. There were many other beds near him. On the closet was a female Elf with light brown hair and eyes to match. Caran looked at his bitten hand and saw a bloodstained bandage. Celeborn strode from the shadows in one corner, the setting sun shining on his silver hair, making it seem copper. Caran closed his eyes against the glare off the Elf-lord's hair. When he opened his eyes, he saw a very guilty pair of green eyes below red brows and stray bits of curly, red hair looking into his near-black blue ones.
"Tom?" he asked.
"John, listen, I'm sorry. You know how I am about heights," the Hobbit said, using his friend's real name. Caran stared at the eyes, now noticing for the first time that the right one was many shades darker than the left one (N/n: actually they are, it's cool, makes me feel special). Caran laughed.
"Have you forgotten already, TOM?" he broke out laughing. Tom turned his head (ya know, like a dog) and furrowed his brow. That made Caran laugh harder. He began hyperventilating. Tom looked at his friend in concern and turned to find Celeborn or Haldir or someone of the like. Caran clasped a hand to his chest and resumed normal breathing as Tom started to walk off. "You call me 'John.'"
"Well, Caran IS a bit long."
"But it's better than 'Car.'" Tom now broke out laughing. Caran hopped off the bed (yes, we mean HOPPED, not crawled like the old geezer in "Young Frankenstein") and laughed again. Tom lead him down a ladder, up several flights of stairs, then up a ladder to a smaller flet with two beds on it. Caran looked around, a look of confusion on his face. Tom pulled out a map and laughed in a very red-necked way. He hollered in Caran's direction and ran down the ladder, stairs, several more ladders, then up two flights of stairs, and one final ladder. They came to a flet with eleven couch-like beds. It was completely dark by then. Tom let out a sigh.
"That was close."
"What was?"
"We almost ended up in Celeborn and Galadriel's room. Do you know what happens at night 'round there?"
"Do I want to?"
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Both (switching off each sentence): *pant, pant* finally! We haven't been in the same city for ages, first it was Hawaii then New Zealand/Scotland then Virginia Beach. But we're back and wrote this! Will you review? Pwease? We'll pay!
Nick: See? We have Legolas
John: Frodo
Nick: Aragorn
John: and Boromir. They each come with a nice, shiny instrument..except maybe Legolas
Legolas: *grabs golden flute from Nick, who was being like Gollum with it, and cleans off the streaks*
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-----*-----Durin's Stone Thingy-----*-----
Gimli took Frodo off to the stone thingy above Mirrormere. Caran and Tom follow.
When they reached the Stone, Caran broke out laughing. Gimli grunted indignatly, Frodo stared, and Tom broke out in a fit of coughs. Gimli grunted again, this time louder. Caran laughed some more, caught his breath, and explained, all the while Tom was coughing.
"Once Tom was chased by a deer. At a place that looked just like this. It was funny, yes, yes, very funny! The look on his face was priceless," the Elf tried to explain. Tom had finished coughing long enough to glare at Caran. Gimli shrugged and turned back to the water.
A splash drenched the three gazers. Tom looked to the left and gulped visibly when he saw his friend's garments lying on the bank. Something to the effect of "Woo-hoo-oo!" came from the Elf in the water. Swimming to shore, he climbed up and lay on the bank (in his boxers, sick minded folks). He sucked in breath as Tom began to follow his suit, pulling his shirt over his head.
As Gimli cursed at them for swimming in the Mirrormere, he felt a tug on his beard. He toppled forward into the water, fully dressed. Frodo was laughing on the bank, when he too was pulled into the water. Gimli climbed on the bank and removed his clothes, leaving only his pants on. Frodo climbed out, shaking and drenched. He stared at the Dwarf, Elf, and Hobbit swimming happily around in the Mirrormere. Aragorn came down and stared in horror at the people enjoying, forgetting the fact the Gandalf had just fallen into shadow.
"Caran...Caran, oh, quit it! Caran Mugwort, Tombo Took, Gimli...Gimli...Gimli son of Gloin! Get back on land! And, for Gondor's sake, put more clothes on!" the Ranger called. Tom laughed and swam toward Aragorn. The Man lept with the grace of an Elf as the Dwarf attempted to drag him in. He saw Frodo, still panting on the bank.
Tom climbed back on bank and pulled his pants, shirt, and waistcoat on. He searched around for his glasses, muttering under his breath. He found them and put them on. By that time Gimli and Caran had come to the bank and were fully dressed. They all followed Aragorn.
They continued on their journey to the Nimrodel. Aragorn gave them a stern look, as if to say: "No! No! And no once more! No swimming!" Caran smiled.
Legolas sang his song...or tried to. Of course Caran and Tom had to break out laughing at the whole diving into the sea part. Legolas somehow managed to finish his song. Before he could even tell the Fellowship to cross, Caran was running through the stream with Tom close on his heels. The others passed, Aragorn cursing quietly. When they reached the trees, the laughter from the trees caused Caran to stagger backwards, knocking himself and Tom down. Then Tom knocked down Pippin, then Pippin Legolas, then Legolas Aragorn, then Boromir Sam, then Sam Frodo, then Frodo Gimli, then Gimli hit his head on a rock. Legolas was the first to get up, so he actually got to talk to the Elves.
"...They also say you breathe so loudly that they could shoot you in the dark," Legolas transualted. Tom and Caran began laughing. "What is it now?"
"It's just that...Sam's not even breathing!" Tom managed to get out between bursts of laughter. A ladder came down, which Caran scurried up with Sam under one arm. Legolas, Tom, and Frodo followed.
In the tree, Haldir introduced himself. Caran pointed to the Hobbit, who was still not breathing.
"I think someone should do something. I mean, not breathing is bad. And he's changing colors now," the Elf said. Frodo nodded.
'If I ever have to go to Mordor without anyone else but Sam, and if Sam's...well, dead, then I'd be stuck with a lunatic," Frodo thought, shuddering. Haldir looked at the unconcious, semi-dead Hobbit.
'"Choking perhaps. No, seems to be a head injury. No, it's not the scratch. Legolas, what happened?"' Haldir asked, looking at Legolas.
'"Ask the Hobbit. And the other Elf. They know all about it. It's their fault. Maybe you could also blame it on Frodo and Boromir. I always say it's dangerous for a Man to knock a Hobbit down,"' Legolas answered.
'"Indeed. Well, let us have a look."' Haldir looked at the Hobbit and smiled. '"Simple enough. Someone get some water. Cold mind you."' An Elf went down the ladder and came back with a bit of water. Haldir threw it on Sam, who immeadately woke up with a start.
"Where am I? Why does my head hurt? Where's Mr. Frodo?" Sam said quickly. Tom chuckled now that he'd found yet another way to annoy his siblings, when he got back. For now Caran would have to do.
Sam and Tom scurried back down the ladder, just to have to climb up it again. Caran followed, refusing to sleep with the "Snorers" (Aragorn, Boromir, and Gimli. Can't you just imagine them snoring?). Caran took off his Elvin boots. The Hobbits began to cough and choke. Caran looked at them.
"What?" he said innocently. Tom gagged.
"Your...feet," Tom managed to splutter out. Caran snickered.
"Are you trying to say that your feet don't stink after gym?"
"No...yes...maybe." They laughed. "Hey, Caran, look at this!"
"What? Oooooooh! (a la lil' Toy Story aliens)"
"I've got a hole in me pocket!" They started laughing again. Tom streched and lay on the ground. Caran curled up at Tom's feet, using the Hobbit's legs as a pillow. Sam smiled and nodded.
"Just as Gimli said, Mr. Frodo. Bestfriends," he said, turning to Frodo. Frodo nodded. The others lay down and soon were asleep. Frodo drifted into an uneasy sleep.
He woke to find Caran and Tom doing...well, something. Light bounced off something as Tom scrounged through his pack. He held some shiny aloft. Tom had an evil smile on his lips and Caran had the look of the devil. Sam was snoring softly. Caran and Tom talked in whispers and nodded. Crawling over to the sleeping form of Merry. They poked and prodded the Hobbit, only to find him fast asleep. Tom nodded and took a large roll of duct tape. He began taping the unsuspecting Merry.
When morning dawned, Caran and Tom were sleeping soundly. Pippin got up and streched. Sam and Frodo soon followed. But Merry was duct taped into and under his blankets. Tom looked at Caran, nodded, and high-fived him. They smiled and Caran drew his knife. He walked over to the Hobbit and carefully took the duct tape off his mouth. Merry wriggled and groaned in pain. Tom joined his friend with a knife. The cut the duct tape. Sweat glistened on their brows as they worked. Merry looked terrified.
When he was free, Merry ran to the edge of the flet. He was prepared to jump, fearing who had stuck him to the ground, when Tom grabbed the back of his shirt. Merry reluctantly stopped trying to kill himself and went down the ladder.
When they were on the ground, Tom turned to Caran. He tapped his head rapidly saying, "Crazy Hobbits." (if anyone's ever read an Asterix and Obelix comic, you'll get this).
Haldir came to greet them with news. Tom chuckled when Haldir reported that there had actually been no orcs, just a little...thing.
--*--time forward! Whooooooooooooo-hoooo-hoooo! They are at the gate that they get blindfolded--*--
'Blindfolded,' Caran thought to himself. 'Blindfolded and hyper. This is trouble. Wonder if Lothlorien has food. Hopefully it's not another place with all guys ruled by a most likely gay lord. No, Celeborn can't be gay. He's married. Hey...that means girls...' On the shorter side of things, Tom was pondering more serious things.
'If we left Aragorn alone, would he become the Lone Ranger?' Uh, did I say important. Yes, I did. Uh....his priorities are mixed. (N/n: Hey! Okay, this earns you five whacks). 'About that mirror...will Galadriel in the movie? Will she freak out? Hopefully not...wait, maybe it'd be a good thing. No, then there won't be any gifts except for Frodo's phail.' They walked until night, leaving Tom and Caran to their ponderings.
Late that night, about one, Caran felt a foot on his side. He woke and looked, well attempted to look, at the person who had stepped (it felt more like hopped) on him. Tom's muffled, pained cries reached Caran's ears. Caran bared his teeth and snapped at the foot in his side. Tom yelped and Caran shuddered at the taste of dirty hair. He grunted slightly, then rolled over (you know? like a dog in front of a warm fire). Tom muttered and sat down, rubbing his bitten foot.
"Wonder if John's poisonious," he said out-loud. Tom shrugged and crawled over to his blankets. He rolled himself in one and immeadately fell asleep.
A kick in his side woke Tom in the morning. He opened one eye, but (still being blindfolded) saw nothing. He waves his hands in front of his face. "I'm blind! It's finally happened! I knew getting glasses was a bad sign. And...I'm blindfolded," the Hobbit began screaming, but ended in a I'm-a- total-idiot tone. He pondered getting out of his blanket...but it was so warm. He grabbed Caran's boot and kinda...slugged along.
About half way through a day of hard slugging for Tom (Caran took off his boot as soon as he discovered his "friend" hitching a ride), they finally reached a place to rest. An Elf tripped over the panting Tom/blanket. Tom came out and was ambushed by Caran. The Elf quickly untied the blindfold and ran off like someone who's just taken the blindfold off an alligator. In his tree, he looked down on Tom.
"Hisssssss, light! Hiss! Hisssss!" the Hobbit said. He hissed then retreated into his blanket, having to re-roll himself. Suddenly the blanket leapt in the air (J/n: please don't ask, he does it alot...usually lands on the floor though, broke his glasses once)(N/n: shut up) and a muffled shout came from under it. The blanket flew off the Hobbit, making him hiss quietly at the sun again. Tom scampered up a tree. Caran climbed up after him.
"Took! Git yer 'ide down 'ere!" the Elf yelled in a horrible, fake accent. Laughter came from above. A hard object hit Caran on the head. He rubbed his head and grabbed a large, hairy foot that was dangling. Pulling on the foot, he brought himself and Tom crashing down to the ground.
"What was that for, Caranirithion?"
"Why must you use my full name?"
"Because, I like big words. Like 'uncopywritable. Or 'Caranirithion'. Or 'Tom Bombadil'. Or 'Loth-'"
"Mr. Tom, sir, begging your pardon, but 'Tom Bombadil' is two words," Sam corrected.
"Too bad. If you say it fast enough, it sounds like one word. Anyway, what WAS that for Caran?"
"They want to see us."
"But...I don't want to see the scary peoples! She might meet my voices. And my muses. And I KNOW she'll kill poor Lurtzie. And Cirinirithion. Just because Cirin's a bit of a...f-r-e-a-k." The hobbit continued on in that manner until the Men were on their knees, the Dwarf had his fingers in his ears and was humming a drinking song, and the Elves and Hobbits were rolling on the ground in agony. Tom drew a deep breath and finished his speech. Caran got up holding his head. Soon the others did also.
They continued into to the gate of the city. Half way there, Caran got bored and started rumaging through his pack. He pulled out two books, one was a thin, hard-backed, red book that had a picture of a wizard on the front as read "The Enchanted World" "Wizards and Witches" and the other a semi-thick, soft-cover, off white that read "The Two Towers". Caran handed the thinner book to Tom, who opened it and egearly began reading about demons/imps. Tom tapped Haldir on the shoulder.
"What?" Haldair asked, slightly annoyed.
"Does anyone here have a silver ring?"
"No."
"Scrolls?" Tom pointed to some text, which Haldir read.
"No."
"Pepsi?"
"Yes, I mean, NO!" Tom sighed and went back to his reading.
By the time they'd reached the white gates, Tom had finished the wizard book and was having an avid conversasion with Pippin about the reasons Gandalf and the other wizards of Middle-Earth weren't in there (Pippin has read the book after Tom). Haldir brought them in the gates and into the hall of Galadriel.
~~*~*~~
"I know who you are, Tombo Took!" a voice rang in Tom's head.
"And I know who you are, where you live, and what you did last summer! Mwhahahahahahahaha!"
"Smart a-"
"Don't. No cursing, crazy queen elf lady."
"Fine, evil crazy author hobbitish boy!"
"Shut up. Quiet."
"No."
"I know what you did last winter."
"Yeah? What?"
"I'm keepin' this rating PG, lady."
"Da-"
"NO CURSING!"
"Shi-"
"NO! You don't stop cursing, I'm gonna bit oof those ears o' yers!"
"Fine." At the same time, John had a very odd look in his eyes.
"Really?"
"Yessssss."
"Are you Gollum?"
"Yessssss, gollum."
"Fu-"
"NO CURSING! Bad Caran!"
"Fine. Flip off." Celeborn droned on, then Galadriel. Unsmartly, Tom peered over the edge and then immeadately leapt forward, landing on Galadriel. He began hyperventilating. He scrambled off Galadriel, but sat as far from the edges as he could and assumed the 'tornado drill position'. Caran sighed, shook his head, and went over to his friend. He put a hand on his friend's shoulder and shook the shoulder. Tom bit the hand, hard enough to make it bleed. Caran bit his lower lip, until it started bleeding as well. He started cursing loudly.
Aragorn came over and clapped a hand to the Elf's mouth. He gave Caran a serious look that pretty much said, "Shut up and let me look at your wounds, or I'll be biting off those ears of yours." Caran nodded and Aragorn removed his hand.
Taking the Elf's hand gingerly (there wasn't exacty tons of unbitten space), he shook his head. He turned to the lower lip next. Placing a hand under the Elf's chin, he inspected the small cut.
"Where you bit your lip should just scab over and heal, not even leaving a scar. But you need that hand bandaged," he announced. Celeborn whispered something in Galadriel's ear that sent them both laughing. Celeborn motioned to an Elf, who came forward with a large, heavy object in his hand.
~~*~~*~~
Caran put his uninjured hand on a lump on the back of his head. He looked around and noted the trees. He was on a bed. There were many other beds near him. On the closet was a female Elf with light brown hair and eyes to match. Caran looked at his bitten hand and saw a bloodstained bandage. Celeborn strode from the shadows in one corner, the setting sun shining on his silver hair, making it seem copper. Caran closed his eyes against the glare off the Elf-lord's hair. When he opened his eyes, he saw a very guilty pair of green eyes below red brows and stray bits of curly, red hair looking into his near-black blue ones.
"Tom?" he asked.
"John, listen, I'm sorry. You know how I am about heights," the Hobbit said, using his friend's real name. Caran stared at the eyes, now noticing for the first time that the right one was many shades darker than the left one (N/n: actually they are, it's cool, makes me feel special). Caran laughed.
"Have you forgotten already, TOM?" he broke out laughing. Tom turned his head (ya know, like a dog) and furrowed his brow. That made Caran laugh harder. He began hyperventilating. Tom looked at his friend in concern and turned to find Celeborn or Haldir or someone of the like. Caran clasped a hand to his chest and resumed normal breathing as Tom started to walk off. "You call me 'John.'"
"Well, Caran IS a bit long."
"But it's better than 'Car.'" Tom now broke out laughing. Caran hopped off the bed (yes, we mean HOPPED, not crawled like the old geezer in "Young Frankenstein") and laughed again. Tom lead him down a ladder, up several flights of stairs, then up a ladder to a smaller flet with two beds on it. Caran looked around, a look of confusion on his face. Tom pulled out a map and laughed in a very red-necked way. He hollered in Caran's direction and ran down the ladder, stairs, several more ladders, then up two flights of stairs, and one final ladder. They came to a flet with eleven couch-like beds. It was completely dark by then. Tom let out a sigh.
"That was close."
"What was?"
"We almost ended up in Celeborn and Galadriel's room. Do you know what happens at night 'round there?"
"Do I want to?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Both (switching off each sentence): *pant, pant* finally! We haven't been in the same city for ages, first it was Hawaii then New Zealand/Scotland then Virginia Beach. But we're back and wrote this! Will you review? Pwease? We'll pay!
Nick: See? We have Legolas
John: Frodo
Nick: Aragorn
John: and Boromir. They each come with a nice, shiny instrument..except maybe Legolas
Legolas: *grabs golden flute from Nick, who was being like Gollum with it, and cleans off the streaks*