PRIVATE EYE SAIYUKI
By blinkie
Author's note: Alternate Universe fic about the Sanzo-ikkou as detectives. I originally planned to make it a funny fic but i don't want to make any promises, so i'll be going with my moods for now. BTW this is not for anyone who despises AU fics. Please do not read if you're that type of person because it might be a waste of your time, and if it's a waste of your time you'd get angry and write me a bad review which will make me miserable. In short, it's going to ruin all our days. But if you want to read, be my guest, just don't blame me for anything later. :-
Please review! To all who reviewed my previous fics, thank you so much :- I hope you like this.
I don't own Saiyuki :-
Prologue
It was a typical day at the precinct. Sanzo was tiredly poring over the usual foot-high paperwork on his desk while Goku snored loudly in his chair, feet propped up on his desk. They had pulled another all-nighter at work, and they were both exhausted to the bone. "Ch. Aunt or not, she's really a slavedriver." Sanzo thought, the hand holding the pen trembling in exhaustion.
At 7 in the morning, the precinct was usually dead. The morning shift, which Gojyo and Hakkai handled, usually started at 8 am. "That gives me an hour's rest." Sanzo yawned and closed his eyes, meaning to rest for a few minutes, and was already half-asleep when the door burst open, followed by a hearty "OHAYO GOZAIMASU, MINNA-SAN!!!" and heavy footsteps entering the room. In his surprise Sanzo lost his balance and had to grab his desk to avoid a nasty spill onto the floor. However, the sudden movement disrupted the precarious balance of the mountain of paper on his desk, and dozens of loose sheets slid to the floor. A vein popped out on his forehead and began to throb incessantly. Sanzo clenched his fists and glared around angrily, searching for the source of all the racket. His eyes fell on the redhead and brunette near the coffee machine.
"BAKA!!! Don't you even know how to knock??!" Sanzo yelled furiosuly at Gojyo, stooping to pick up the sheets on the floor.
"Oh, oh, someone's having a bad morning today!" Gojyo said with mock concern. "Didn't get enough last night?" Gojyo smirked, inclining his head towards the sleeping Goku.
'Don't. mess. With. Me." Sanzo said in a dangerously flat voice. He pulled out his gun and fired a shot into the air. "Unless you want to die so badly." Gojyo yelped and leapt behind Hakkai, using him as a shield. "Aaah!! Hakkai save me!!"
"Ah, minna-san, let's all calm down." Hakkai said with his bright smile. 'We want to start the day right, right?" ^ _ ^
"Ch. It's already ruined, thanks to that idiot you call your friend." Sanzo gathered the last of the paper and dumped them on his desk. He stomped over to the coffee machine, poured himself a mug of the strong black stuff and returned to his desk, surveying the mess with dismay.
"Look at what you did, you idiot! This'll take hours to straighten out! I really ought to do you a favor and put you out of your miserable existence. What do you think?" Sanzo said.
"Well, it isn't my fault that some bozo here was born all thumbs." Gojyo rolled his eyes.
"WHAT did you say?" Click of a gun.
Hakkai positioned himself between the two angry men. "Now, now, Sanzo, that isn't necessary, Gojyo and I will help you fix your reports after coffee. Right Gojyo?" Hakkai shot Gojyo a warning glance.
"Ah, sure, whatever." Gojyo said.
The three sat around Sanzo's desk, coffees in hand. "What are you both doing here at this time, by the way?" Hakkai asked, taking a sip. "Your shift ended..." Hakkai checked his watch "...7 hours ago."
"Work for the old lady. Would you just LOOK at this?" Sanzo said in exasperation, gesturing to the messy piles on his desk. "These were reports turned in by the shift before us! Last count was 30, and I'm not even halfway done!"
Hakkai sighed. "These days that's pretty normal. Gojyo and I went through 60 reports yesterday. The crime level in this town is definitely on the rise."
"Well, at least not everything's SERIOUS. I mean, look at this." Gojyo said, randomly picking stapled reports from Sanzo's desk. "Mugging. Vandalism. Stolen laundry. Obscene phone calls." An orange piece of paper caught his eye and he picked it up. "My, we even handle traffic violations now?" Gojyo said in surprise.
Sanzo snorted in disgust. "Yeah. Damn traffic police ALWAYS give us the heavy shit. This one was for the mayor's son. Drunk driving AND driving without a license. They pass the shit to us to save their own asses."
Hakkai smiled. "I guess that's because we're disposable. No big loss if we get out asses fried. Beat cops are a dime a dozen."
"You find that funny? It doesn't amuse me that we're seen that way." Sanzo said, eyebrow arched.
A husky feminine voice spoke out. "Don't worry, dear nephew. That's going to end soon enough."
The three turned towards the voice to see Kanzeon Bosatsu leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and a smile on her face.
Sanzo rolled his eyes. "How long have you been standing there?"
Kanzoen entered the room with long silky strides. "And good morning to you too, Konzen." She tossed an envelope onto his desk. "Here. This is for you."
Sanzo frowned. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?" He eyed the envelope with a mixture of suspicion and resignation. "And what's this? More work???" he finished irritably.
"It's a surprise. Open it." Kanzeon smiled.
Still frowning, Sanzo tore open the envelope. A crisp white sheet tumbled out. Sanzo unfolded it as Gojyo and Hakkai crowded behind him to take a look. Three pairs of eyes widened simultaneously.
It turned out to be a memorandum which read:
IN RE: PROMOTIONS
The following are HEREBY promoted to the position of LIEUTENANT:
X X X PRECINCT 10
1) Genjo Sanzo
2) Cho Hakkai
3) Sha Gojyo
4) Son Goku
Noted and Signed.
Three heads slowly turned to Kanzeon, eyes wide with disbelief. Kanzeon let out a chuckle at the sight. "What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Sanzo gingerly raised the memo, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "Is this true?"
Kanzeon said, "I guess so. We at the upper levels aren't used to playing jokes anyway."
Gojyo let out a whoop and raised both fists in the air. "Whoooo!! PROMOTED! We're finally promoted!!!" He snatched the memo from the still- shocked Sanzo and ran over to the sleeping Goku, shaking him awake. "Hey! Wake up you bakazaru! Cmon!! Look at THIS!!" Goku only had time to utter a sleepy "Nani??" when the memo was shoved in his face. "Read it! Read it!" Gojyo said, jumping excitedly.
Goku took the sheet, yawned hugely, sleepy eyes skimming the page with tired effort but suddenly snapping open. "NANI???!! 'Lieutenant'?" He rubbed his eyes vigorously and read the memo again. "We're...we're PROMOTED??"
"Yes." Kanzeon smiled. "Congratulations to all of you." She turned to leave with obvious pleasure on her face.
"Wait." Sanzo called, finally snapping out of his shock. Kanzeon turned, still smiling. "Did you... have something to do with this?" Sanzo asked.
"Hmm...let's just say I know how to appreciate all the hard work you've been doing in my precinct." She winked before turning away. "Congratulations. You boys deserve it."
~copyright, blinkie~
~end, prologue~
More to follow :-
By blinkie
Author's note: Alternate Universe fic about the Sanzo-ikkou as detectives. I originally planned to make it a funny fic but i don't want to make any promises, so i'll be going with my moods for now. BTW this is not for anyone who despises AU fics. Please do not read if you're that type of person because it might be a waste of your time, and if it's a waste of your time you'd get angry and write me a bad review which will make me miserable. In short, it's going to ruin all our days. But if you want to read, be my guest, just don't blame me for anything later. :-
Please review! To all who reviewed my previous fics, thank you so much :- I hope you like this.
I don't own Saiyuki :-
Prologue
It was a typical day at the precinct. Sanzo was tiredly poring over the usual foot-high paperwork on his desk while Goku snored loudly in his chair, feet propped up on his desk. They had pulled another all-nighter at work, and they were both exhausted to the bone. "Ch. Aunt or not, she's really a slavedriver." Sanzo thought, the hand holding the pen trembling in exhaustion.
At 7 in the morning, the precinct was usually dead. The morning shift, which Gojyo and Hakkai handled, usually started at 8 am. "That gives me an hour's rest." Sanzo yawned and closed his eyes, meaning to rest for a few minutes, and was already half-asleep when the door burst open, followed by a hearty "OHAYO GOZAIMASU, MINNA-SAN!!!" and heavy footsteps entering the room. In his surprise Sanzo lost his balance and had to grab his desk to avoid a nasty spill onto the floor. However, the sudden movement disrupted the precarious balance of the mountain of paper on his desk, and dozens of loose sheets slid to the floor. A vein popped out on his forehead and began to throb incessantly. Sanzo clenched his fists and glared around angrily, searching for the source of all the racket. His eyes fell on the redhead and brunette near the coffee machine.
"BAKA!!! Don't you even know how to knock??!" Sanzo yelled furiosuly at Gojyo, stooping to pick up the sheets on the floor.
"Oh, oh, someone's having a bad morning today!" Gojyo said with mock concern. "Didn't get enough last night?" Gojyo smirked, inclining his head towards the sleeping Goku.
'Don't. mess. With. Me." Sanzo said in a dangerously flat voice. He pulled out his gun and fired a shot into the air. "Unless you want to die so badly." Gojyo yelped and leapt behind Hakkai, using him as a shield. "Aaah!! Hakkai save me!!"
"Ah, minna-san, let's all calm down." Hakkai said with his bright smile. 'We want to start the day right, right?" ^ _ ^
"Ch. It's already ruined, thanks to that idiot you call your friend." Sanzo gathered the last of the paper and dumped them on his desk. He stomped over to the coffee machine, poured himself a mug of the strong black stuff and returned to his desk, surveying the mess with dismay.
"Look at what you did, you idiot! This'll take hours to straighten out! I really ought to do you a favor and put you out of your miserable existence. What do you think?" Sanzo said.
"Well, it isn't my fault that some bozo here was born all thumbs." Gojyo rolled his eyes.
"WHAT did you say?" Click of a gun.
Hakkai positioned himself between the two angry men. "Now, now, Sanzo, that isn't necessary, Gojyo and I will help you fix your reports after coffee. Right Gojyo?" Hakkai shot Gojyo a warning glance.
"Ah, sure, whatever." Gojyo said.
The three sat around Sanzo's desk, coffees in hand. "What are you both doing here at this time, by the way?" Hakkai asked, taking a sip. "Your shift ended..." Hakkai checked his watch "...7 hours ago."
"Work for the old lady. Would you just LOOK at this?" Sanzo said in exasperation, gesturing to the messy piles on his desk. "These were reports turned in by the shift before us! Last count was 30, and I'm not even halfway done!"
Hakkai sighed. "These days that's pretty normal. Gojyo and I went through 60 reports yesterday. The crime level in this town is definitely on the rise."
"Well, at least not everything's SERIOUS. I mean, look at this." Gojyo said, randomly picking stapled reports from Sanzo's desk. "Mugging. Vandalism. Stolen laundry. Obscene phone calls." An orange piece of paper caught his eye and he picked it up. "My, we even handle traffic violations now?" Gojyo said in surprise.
Sanzo snorted in disgust. "Yeah. Damn traffic police ALWAYS give us the heavy shit. This one was for the mayor's son. Drunk driving AND driving without a license. They pass the shit to us to save their own asses."
Hakkai smiled. "I guess that's because we're disposable. No big loss if we get out asses fried. Beat cops are a dime a dozen."
"You find that funny? It doesn't amuse me that we're seen that way." Sanzo said, eyebrow arched.
A husky feminine voice spoke out. "Don't worry, dear nephew. That's going to end soon enough."
The three turned towards the voice to see Kanzeon Bosatsu leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and a smile on her face.
Sanzo rolled his eyes. "How long have you been standing there?"
Kanzoen entered the room with long silky strides. "And good morning to you too, Konzen." She tossed an envelope onto his desk. "Here. This is for you."
Sanzo frowned. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?" He eyed the envelope with a mixture of suspicion and resignation. "And what's this? More work???" he finished irritably.
"It's a surprise. Open it." Kanzeon smiled.
Still frowning, Sanzo tore open the envelope. A crisp white sheet tumbled out. Sanzo unfolded it as Gojyo and Hakkai crowded behind him to take a look. Three pairs of eyes widened simultaneously.
It turned out to be a memorandum which read:
IN RE: PROMOTIONS
The following are HEREBY promoted to the position of LIEUTENANT:
X X X PRECINCT 10
1) Genjo Sanzo
2) Cho Hakkai
3) Sha Gojyo
4) Son Goku
Noted and Signed.
Three heads slowly turned to Kanzeon, eyes wide with disbelief. Kanzeon let out a chuckle at the sight. "What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Sanzo gingerly raised the memo, holding it between his thumb and forefinger. "Is this true?"
Kanzeon said, "I guess so. We at the upper levels aren't used to playing jokes anyway."
Gojyo let out a whoop and raised both fists in the air. "Whoooo!! PROMOTED! We're finally promoted!!!" He snatched the memo from the still- shocked Sanzo and ran over to the sleeping Goku, shaking him awake. "Hey! Wake up you bakazaru! Cmon!! Look at THIS!!" Goku only had time to utter a sleepy "Nani??" when the memo was shoved in his face. "Read it! Read it!" Gojyo said, jumping excitedly.
Goku took the sheet, yawned hugely, sleepy eyes skimming the page with tired effort but suddenly snapping open. "NANI???!! 'Lieutenant'?" He rubbed his eyes vigorously and read the memo again. "We're...we're PROMOTED??"
"Yes." Kanzeon smiled. "Congratulations to all of you." She turned to leave with obvious pleasure on her face.
"Wait." Sanzo called, finally snapping out of his shock. Kanzeon turned, still smiling. "Did you... have something to do with this?" Sanzo asked.
"Hmm...let's just say I know how to appreciate all the hard work you've been doing in my precinct." She winked before turning away. "Congratulations. You boys deserve it."
~copyright, blinkie~
~end, prologue~
More to follow :-