CHAPTER 5

The next day, Christian woke to the odd feeling he was being watched. He opened his eyes and to his surprise, sitting in a chair staring at him was the Narcoleptic Argentinean!

Christian: "Argentinean? What are you doing here? Where's Bubba?"

Argentinean: (in his Argentinean accent) "Bubba move to different cell. I am new cell mate!"

Christian: "Why have they put you here?"

Argentinean: "They say I am illegal alien."

Christian: "That really sucks. Well, at least we have each other now."

Argentinean: "Yes, each other . . . "

Christian didn't notice the eager look on the Argentinean's face.

Christian: "Oh, it's so awful here! As soon as I got here they stripped me down and a man with REALLY cold hands searched my body cavities . . . "

Argentinean: "I like that part . . . "

Christian: "Then they forced me into this horrible jumpsuit, these horizontal stripes make me look so fat!"

Argentinean: "In Argentina, meaty boys are so sexy. "

Christian: "Then, worst of all was this Bubba fellow! Oh, I don't even want to get into it. I'm so glad you're here!"

Argentinean: "I also glad. I very, very glad."

Christian: "Would you hand me those shorts over there?"

The Argentinean looked very disappointed, but handed him the shorts.

Christian: "Thanks."

Argentinean: "Anything in the world for you Christian."

Christian stepped down from the bed.

Christian: "Oh Argentinean, I absolutely hate it here."

Argentinean: (nodding) "Yes, I also."

Christian: "I mean, you're stuck in a small cell with one man all day."

Argentinean: (smiling) "Yes . . . "

Christian: "And you have to shower with other men."

Argentinean: "Terrible . . . "

Christian: "I can't take much more of this. I still have 3 whole years to serve. And worst of all, they won't let me write."

The Argentinean shoved his hands out and one landed on Christian's crotch.

Argentinean: "But you have so much talent!"

Christian backed away.

Christian: "Er - yeah."

Christian sighed and sat on the bottom bunk, facing the Argentinean.

Christian: "Tell me, what happened to Satine?"

Argentinean: (flatly) "Oh . . . her."

Christian: "Yes, my one, my only true love. What became of my angel?"

The Argentinean sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. He lied,

Argentinean: "Uh . . . I, um, think she marry Duke. Yes, that what happened."

Christian: (gasps) "Married the Duke? No!"

Argentinean: "Yes, so sorry."

Christian: "I bet he forced her into it. We have to save her."

Argentinean: "No Christian! I think she want marry Duke."

Christian: "I won't believe it. She wouldn't. She loves me."

Argentinean: "No, she doesn't love you."

Christian became enraged.

Christian: "NO! Satine loves me! I know it!"

Argentinean: (folding his arms) "If Satine loves you, then why is she not here to take you out of jail?"

Christian couldn't think of an answer and instead climbed back up on his bunk, curling up in a ball.

Argentinean: (under his breath) "Christian, you look so sexy when you're angry . . . "

An hour later, Christian was drawing things on the wall with some chalk and the Argentinean was happily tangoing with himself. Christian sighed loudly.

Christian: "Argentinean, we have to escape. I need to know whether or not Satine still loves me. I have to make sure."

Argentinean: "You will never escape. Even if you get by guard, we are on island. There is no way off."

Christian: "I'll come up with something."

FROM BEETLE: Hehe. Review, please.

DISCLAIMER: Don't own Moulin Rouge, it's characters, or Alcatraz.