Kyonae and Artrenia are simply talking when Kyonae randomly pulls out a sword and starts whacking at a tree. Artrenia then shouts, "Save a tree, beat Kyonae!"

Artrenia: *pulls out her bat.*

Kyonae: 'Cause she has rabies, and she does not like people who slap swords out of her hands.'

Kyonae: Ack!

Artrenia: *begins to walk towards Kyonae, the bat held out to her left.* Here Nicky, Nicky, Nicky.

Kyonae: Hiss! Not the bat! *foaming at mouth*

Kyonae: Arrrghh....growl...meow.

Artrenia: *in one fluid motion, she ducks from the flying spitty foam before righting herself and swinging the bat at Kyonae's head from the left side.*

Kyonae: You try and trick me!

Kyonae: Clunk!

Kyonae: Ow! Holy S*$t!!!

Kyonae: God D$#@it!

Artrenia: *randomly begins to hit the bat at various sides of Kyonae's head.*

Kyonae: Ow...*fall unconcsious*

Kyonae: You can stop hitting me now...bleh.

Artrenia: *watches the spitty foam covered Kyonae twitch, tossing the bat aside.* I win!

Kyonae: Yes...win...now...hospital...doctor...owchies...*pupils refuse to dilate*

Artrenia: Hmm... *picks up the bat again and beats it over Seifer's head before stealing a Hi-Potion, tossing it at Kyonae.*

Artrenia: There.

Kyonae: Thanks...hey, what the hell'd you do to Seifer!

Kyonae: No!

Artrenia: I think Seifer's dead...

Kyonae: *runs over to his mangled, beaten, but still incredibly hot figure

Artrenia: *laughs a bit.* Aye...

Kyonae: Seify? You okay?

Artrenia: *Seifer twitches.*

Seifer: mmmm....no cheese crunchies...that goat stole my pants...

Kyonae: ???

Seifer: *blood begins to gush from Seifer's ear and his brain pops out.*

Kyonae: Eww.

Artrenia: Put it back in!

Artrenia: You have a minute.

Kyonae: Not so cute looking anymore.

Kyonae: Okay! In you get! *picks up brain and pops it back in.* Seifer: Ugh...what the hell...? *Seifer sits up and rips off his mask, revealing it is really Rinoa.*

Kyonae: Aaaaaah!

Kyonae: No wonder the brain was so small!

Kyonae: Take it out! Take it out!

Rinoa: I ate Seifer and ripped his face off. Doesn't it look real?

Kyonae: Artrenia, gimme the sword back, please...*grins evilly, begins to foam form mouth*

Artrenia: Hmm... *cautiously picks up her bat and the sword, tossing the sword to Kyonae.*

Kyonae: Thankies.

Kyonae: Advances towards rinoa*

Kyonae: Veni, veni, venias, Ve ne mori facias...

Kyonae: Rinoa: Uh...what...like...what are you doing?

Kyonae: DIE DEVILSPAWN BITCH!

Kyonae: *shoves the sword down her throat and out her ass and splits her in half* Seifer: *Seifer comes tumbling out, half digested and...um...faceless.*

Artrenia: Awe...

Artrenia: Yuck...

Kyonae: Seifer, drink this while I try and hot glue this back on! *hands him aMega Potion(he really needs it)

Artrenia: He looks icky.

Kyonae: *tries to hot glue face back on*

Artrenia: How can he drink it without a face?

Seifer: I look icky, and I feel like crap, thank you very much. Thanks Kyonae.*takes a swig*

Artrenia: You look like crap, too.

SeiferI still have a mouth...I just dont have lips or anything.

Artrenia: A big gaping hole... Eww... Seifer's icky.

Seifer: Thank you*Seifer rolls eyes*

Artrenia: *labels him icky to all girls and sics Squall on his ass.*

Kyonae: Well he's still the hottest guy alive! *huggles Seifer*

Kyonae: Back Squall! Or do you wish to share your girlfriend's fate? *points at Rinoa's split up body*

Artrenia: Let him share it anyway.

Squall: What? Girlfriend? She's not my girlfriend? Or at least, she wasn't.

Kyonae: Huh?

Kyonae: Squall: I'm going out with Irivne.

Kyonae: *shocked.*

Kyonae: O....kay.

Artrenia: Hmm... That was unexpected.

Kyonae: Alrighty then! Back off, or I'll kill Irvine!

Squall:NO!

Kyonae: Well, not really...I like Irvine. I'll just sic Chris on your ass. He hates you.

Artrenia: *sneaks up quietly behind Squall, bat raised.*

Kyonae: Oh, yeah...um*trying to distract him* and uh, then I'll go out with Irivne...

Kyonae: Squall:Oh you are just asking for it, bitch!

Kyonae: No, you are!

Squall:You are!

Artrenia: *slams the bat down on Squall's unsuspecting head before hitting it randomly until he falls to the ground.*

Kyonae: Told you so.

Squall:You---ack! Ow! Ah!" *dies*

Kyonae: Good job, my friend!

Artrenia: *suddenly, a pack of big rats run over, eat half of Squall and carry the other half away.* Irvine: Oh my god, they killed Squall!

Cartman: You bastards!

Kyonae: Yay! I mean...we all feel your loss, Irvy. Sorry, but he HAD to die. *huggles Irvine*

Irvine: *Irvine suddenly turns straight again, realizing his mistake with Squall.*

Irvine:*looking at Ichi and Kyonae*Hey there ladies. Lookin' good.

Kyonae: Uh...don't you remember...you're going out with squall?

Irvine:I...did? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! *starts screaming like a little girl*

Artrenia: No... You didn't... All a bad dream, Irvy. You're going out with Kyonae, just like Seifer.

Seifer: Oh no he's not!

Irvine: Oh yes I am!

Seifer: She's mine!

Artrenia: Careful... They might rip you in half.

Irvine: *cringes.*

Kyonae: Kyonae: Yeah, so go to Selphie to relieve your sexual urges! I'm with Seifer

Irvine:But....he's doesn't even have a face.

Artrenia: Or a penis... Rinoa ate that, too.

Kyonae: Really?*looks at seifer, huggles him* You poor thing!

Seifer*sobs* I'm practically a GIRL!

Artrenia: Actually, after that operation Rinoa preformed...

Kyonae: Let me see...*digs through Rinao's slightly decaying carcass* Ah! here it is! Get some ice!

Artrenia: *pulls out a wrapped box of makeup.* Merry Christmas, Seiferina.

Seifer:Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Artrenia: *pulls out a box of ice.* Here.

Kyonae: Thankies: *puts in ice* to the hospital! Seifer: Don't you mean infirmary?

Kyonae: Hell no! Kadowaki'd throw up, if she saw this...she'd just be too jealous.*grins*

Artrenia: Of how he's more girl than her now?

Kyonae: Ya. And this...*opens box*

Seifer:Hey! Don't be flashing that around!

Artrenia: Hmm... Can I poke it with a stick?

Seifer:Hm...

Kyonae: Kyonae:Ya, please!

Kyonae: Seifer:Hmm...okay!

Artrenia: Too willing... Never mind.

Kyonae: Awww...nuts.

Seifer:Exactly.

Artrenia: You're missing those, too.

Kyonae: Oh yeah...just a sec..

Kyonae: *digs through carcass*

Kyonae: Oh look!

Kyonae: Here they are! Stuck in her throat!

Kyonae: Hmm...I wonder...

Seifer:Dont' look at me.

Artrenia: Rinoa killed him, raped him, and ate his balls.

Artrenia: Poor guy.

Kyonae: Yeah. *huggles seifer*

Artrenia: To the hospital!

Kyonae: Yes!

Kyonae: You will have your manhood back soon, Seifer!

Seifer:Yeah!

Artrenia: And maybe even your face!

Artrenia: The nose fell off...

Kyonae: Yeah, that'd be nice...

Kyonae: Eww...

Kyonae: Plastic surgery can take care of that.

Artrenia: And here we are!

Kyonae: Yay!

Kyonae: Dr. N. O'Balls, at your service.

Artrenia: Mr. No Balls, we need his balls attached.

Kyonae: And his , um...dick.

Kyonae: Okie dokie! *Slaps gloves on* I'm sterile!

Kyonae: Of course you are.

Artrenia: Hmm...

Seifer: I'm scared...

Artrenia: That must suck.

Artrenia: Be afraid! Be very afraid...

Kyonae: Don't be afriad!*slaps duct tape over Ichi's mouth* *puts little laughing gas thingy on Seifer* Now, count backwards from one hundred...

Kyonae: I'll be right here...watching...eh, hehe...eww...

Artrenia: Mmmf... Mmmffmm... *rips the tape off.* AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Kyonae: Seifer: Ninety ni...zzzzzzzzz...

Kyonae: Dr.N. O'balls: Alrighty zen! Sahll ve perform ze operation?!

Kyonae: Huh?

Dr.N. O'balls: *rips off mask* Haha! I am actually...Dr. Odine!

Artrenia: *sneaks up to Mr. No Balls and whispers, "And he wants a set of double D's there... And a new nose on his right shoulder..."*

Kyonae*slaps forehead*

Kyonae: Don't tell Odine that!

Artrenia: And a second foot...

Artrenia: Or should I say third? Put that on his left butt cheek.

Dr.Odine(with still no balls):Okie dokies! Double-D's, nose on the shoulder and a third foot! On the lefty!

Dr. Odine: Gotcha!

Artrenia: Good! Stick to it.

Kyonae: No!!!*covers Seifer with body* You shall not touch him! I'm a psycho!

Artrenia: And strap her to the wall while you're at it.

Dr.Odine: Okies! *claps hands* Hans! Jans! Phil!

*Three sturdily built henchmen appear*

Dr.Odine:strap her to ze vall!

*all three* Okies! *straps Kyonae to the wall*

Artrenia: Mwahaha!!!

Kyonae: Nooooo!!! Seifer!!!!

Artrenia: So, Odine... Think I could be an evil doc?

Kyonae: You'll not get away with this!

Artrenia: And gag her!

Dr.Odine:*ignoring Kyonae's screams* Of course! All you need iz a diploma thingy in being abzolutely inzane! Here you go!*gives her a diploma*

Artrenia: Cool... *pauses for a photo shoot.*

Kyonae: *getting really really mad*

Artrenia: Now I'm Dr. Ichi Ni.

Kyonae: You'll both perish!!!

Kyonae: Ahhhh...*eyes start glowing*

Dr.Odine: Huh?

Artrenia: Hmm...

Artrenia: Close her eyes and tape them shut!

Kyonae: *runs Odine through with a big icicle!*

Artrenia: *finds Odine completed the boob job and extra foot in time.* Awe...

Artrenia: What? No nose?

Odine: Ow!!!*looks down at gaping wound* Little bitch! Zat really hurt, dammit!

Artrenia: Here. *hands him a Mega Potion.*

Dr. Odine: Zanks!

Kyonae:*drained* Dammit...damn it all...

Kyonae: Seifer, wake up...please...

Kyonae: *Seifer's still knocked out*

Kyonae: ....

Kyonae: This really sucks.*sweatdrop*

Artrenia: He's got a lovely bunch of coconuts, didi lee didi.

Kyonae: God...actually, Artrenia, those breast implants look good on him. How'd you do it, Odine?

Artrenia: *blinks a few times.*

Odine: uh....

Artrenia: It's a trick!

Kyonae: Oh, cool.

Odine: Ya! I practiced on myzelf. Zee?*opens coat*

Kyonae:Aaaagh! The light! It burns!

Artrenia: Gee... That's...

Artrenia: Amazing, Dr. No Balls! How'd you think of it?

Odine: Ah, a little family zecret...

Artrenia: Which is?

Odine: Za...Ze ze zing with ze breasts. Family zecret. Shush.

Artrenia: Ze?

Artrenia: Ze zano zoob za za.

Kyonae: Huh?

Artrenia: Didn't make any sense to me either.

Artrenia: How sad.

*Seifer wakes up.*

Kyonae: Seifer!

Seifer:Huh...what...Kyonae, why are you tied to the wall...

Seifer: OMG!

Seifer: Aaaah!

Seifer: I have...I have....

Seifer looks down and smiles* I have boobs!

Artrenia: See? I knew he'd like it.

Kyonae: They're actually a good improvement. Thanks, Odine!

Seifer: But...I have a second nose, too...and another foot...waaah!

Artrenia: That's all right...

Artrenia: At least you have a nose now.

Kyonae: Hey yeah.

Artrenia: Let's all go home and celebrate.

Seifer: But I really don't like this foot.

Artrenia: Easier to sit.

Odine: Well, then let's take it off! * starts up chjainsaw*

Artrenia: Think of it as a plug to keep Squall out.

Seifer*squirms* ah...I'll keep it, thanks.

Kyonae: At least you have your manly stuff back.

Kyonae: And yes, that horny Squall will never hurt you again.

Seifer: Again...? What are you talkin--

Kyonae: Okay then! Who wants Chinese?

Artrenia: Me!

Odine: I want lo mein noodles!

Seifer: I'd like some shrimp toast

Koynae: O...kay: Let's go!

Artrenia: Fried rice for me.

Kyonae: Okies, fried rice, shrimp toast, lo mein noodles, and me...I just want a fortune cookie.:-P

Kyonae: And some duck sauce.

Artrenia: How hungry we are.

Artrenia: Well, let's go.

Kyonae: K! *Huggles Seifer*

Odine:I'll drive!!!

Everyone: NOOO!!!