Disclaimer: I own nothing. I've definately heard this song too many times :P

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*In Lothlorien, Gimli and Legolas are taking one of "those walks", Legolas starts singing*

*Legolas is being like Genie (including the magic actions)*

**To the tune of "Friend Like Me"*

Well Galadriel had that old mirror,

Bilbo Baggins-ie had a thousand tales,

But Gimli you in luck 'cause up your sleeves,

You got a brand of power never fails,

You got more strength in your corner now,

Some heavy bow and arrows in your camp,

You got some punch, pizazz, yahoo and how,

See all you gotta do is call to me,

And I'll say

Mister Gimli, friend,

What will your pleasure be?

Let me take your order,

Jot it down,

You ain't never had a friend like me,

No no no!

Life is your Khazad-Dûm,

And I'm your maitre d',

C'mon whisper what it is you want.

You ain't never had a friend like me!

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service,

You're my friend,

My hombre, my mellon,

Say what you wish,

It's yours! True dish,

How about a little more lembas cram?

Have some off tree "A",

Try all off tree "B",

I'm in the mood to help you dude,

You ain't never had a friend like me.

Can your friends do this?

Do your friends do that?

Do your friends pull this out their little hat?

Can your friends go, poof?

Well, looky here,

Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip,

And then make the sucker disappear?

So doncha sit there hairy jawed, haggard eyed,

I'm here to answer all your midday prayers,

You got me bona fide, certified,

You got an Elf for your charge d'affaires,

I got a powerful urge to help you out,

So what-cha wish? I really wanna know,

You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt,

Well, all you gotta do is call like so - and oh

Mister Gimli, friend, have a talk or two or three,

I'm on the job, you big nabob,

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,

You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,

You ain't never had a friend like me,

You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!

*Gimli runs off because his "friend" has gone crazy*

Legolas [spoken]: Well, that got rid of him.

A/n: I know that sounded REALLY gay, but it's not. See what a fever over 100 does?