Part: 16/?
Author: PsycGurl
Rating: PG

Spoilers: Set in season three of Buffy, around the episode 'Enemies'. Visions are from general s.6 of Buffy.

Feedback: Always wanted!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. The visions were taken from Buffy transcripts at www. psyche.kn-bremen.de and were transcribed by Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com).

A/N I apologise for being *so* chatty but here's *another* message (considering FF.Net's been wacky and I've been away on school trips) just wanted to say that this is the last 'Dreams' chapter. The visions Giles get are only up to the episodes he was in, in series 6, excluding 'Two to Go' and 'Grave'. Let's just say he got a lot less hours of sleep than the others. ;) Also, do to my computer not allowing me to the visions are not italicised so now they are emphasised by I.

This is also the time I sigh w/relief. *Finally* these 'Dreams' chapters are finished. I know they must've been really hard, long & I must admit boring to read…I know I had a helluva time writing and editing them…but I think they are important. They gave me a chance to analyse each character's development and feelings from s.3 to the present. I, personally, liked this chapter because I found connections and I realised how close Giles really was to Buffy, Willow and Xander. Also check out my other fic 'Four Corners' at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=810443. If you're unable to review either fic due to FF.net problems don't hesitate in sendin' me a mail to tell me how it was. So hope you all have fun readin' it!

CHAPTER 16

DREAMS-GILES

Giles drove back to his house. He reflected on the others visions as well as his own. As Giles parked he realised that because of his leaving, everyone's lives would be horrible.

Buffy would die because he wasn't there to save her. Willow would be abusing the black arts and he wouldn't be there to stop her. Xander would be marrying a former demon and he wouldn't be able to give him advice.

Giles opened the door to his apartment and walked in.

He had always tried to shield the three and protect them. He had always advised Buffy to fight to her full potential. He had always informed Willow of the rights and wrongs of magic. He had always attempted to discipline Xander, hoping that one day he would develop into the strong, young man that he was capable of becoming.

Giles pulled out a bottle of scotch and downed down some.

They were his 'children'. His responsibility. He took pride in each one of them. He was proud as they neared their graduation…proud of their accomplishments.

Giles grabbed some books of his shelf and sat on his desk. 

He was the man they looked up to. The one they went to when they had problems.

After beginning to research, he pulled off his glasses.

And he would let them down…all of them. He would leave them to sort themselves out…leading them into misery.

Giles closed his eyes and drowsed off in his thoughts.

~*~*~*~

IXander: "Anya, Giles is gonna leave the store to you when he goes. What more do you want?"

Giles: "I'm not leaving the store to anyone. I'm going to England. I'm not dead, I'm still a partner." (yanks the statue away from Anya)

Anya: (sullen) "Silent oversees partner."I

~*~*~*~

IGiles: "Perhaps Anya's right. Perhaps I am trying to teach you as if you were..."

Buffybot: "Human?"

Giles: (uncomfortable) "Yes."

Buffybot: "I like your teachings. Every Slayer needs her Watcher."

Giles: "I'm not so sure about that."

Buffybot: (frowns) "What do you mean?"

Giles: "Nothing. (looking away) I just can't help but wonder if…she would have been better off without me. Buffy."

Buffybot: "I don't think that's true. You were very helpful to her."

Giles: (laughs) "Right. Yes, I was a perfect Watcher. I did what any good Watcher would do. Got my Slayer killed in the line of duty."

Buffybot: "Oh, that wasn't your fault."

Giles: "Of course not. That's how all Slayer/Watcher relationships end, isn't it? She's gone. I did my job."

Buffybot: (frowns innocently) "Well, then why are you still here?"

Giles looks at her sadly.I

~*~*~*~

Giles frowned.

~*~*~*~

IXander: (reads) "I've gone. Not one for long good-byes. I thought it best to slip out quietly. Love to you all, Giles." I

~*~*~*~

IGiles sits in the terminal, reading a book, with a small bag on the floor beside him. He stops reading, looks off into space.

Willow: "You really think we'd let you get away with that?"

Giles: (smiles) "I was trying to avoid a scene, really."

Dawn is holding a greeting card. Willow produces a large sign with the words "BON VOYAGE GILES!" inside a heart, with balloons attached to the corners.

Willow: "Like we'd make a scene."

Giles: (quietly) "Not you. Me."

Anya: "Um, we, uh, brought you some lovely parting gifts."

Dawn: "We got your presents at the gas station. (sits beside Giles) We were kind of in a hurry."

Giles continues smiling nervously. Dawn looks uncertain, then hands him the card.

Dawn: "Um, we made this in the car. That's why the letters are all shaky."

They all look on anxiously as Giles opens the card and reads it.

Willow: "We just wanted you to know that ... we'll miss you. Uh, but we'll be okay. (softly) We'll miss you, but, (very softly) we'll be okay."

Anya: "I'll take really good care of your money."

Giles: (laughs) "Yes, I have no doubt."

P.A. Announcer: "...passengers, Flight 3982, leaving for Los Angeles, and continuing to London. Rows 20 through 30..."

Giles gets up, gathers his stuff.

Giles: "That's me."

Willow: "Now? We just made it."

Giles: "Just, yes. Well, if we're going to do this, let's do it properly."

He puts down his bag, goes over to Xander. They hold out hands toward each other, look awkward for a moment, then hug. Giles turns away from Xander, and Anya grabs Giles tightly. He hugs her back. Then he hugs Tara, then Dawn.

Giles: "I'm just a phone call away…if you need anything. (holds Dawn's face in his hands) You must promise me."

Dawn: "I do. I promise."

Giles turns to Willow. She smiles nervously.

Giles: "Willow. I don't know where to start." (they hug)

Willow: (tearful) "Well, maybe you shouldn't. (lets him go) I'm trying to be stiff-upper-lippy."

Giles: "Right, right." (removes his glasses)

Willow: "Well, you should get going. (taps him on the shoulder) Don't you have a life or something?"

Giles: (replaces glasses) "Um, well, I suppose that's the question really. Just, uh ... be careful. Please."

He gives them a last look, turns toward the gate. The Scoobies standing in a row watching him go. Giles gives his ticket to the flight attendant and goes through the door.  I

~*~*~*~

Rupert Giles' slumber expression went sombre.

~*~*~*~

IDawn: "Um. Let's see ... Giles. It's so weird. He, he left today. Because you were ... (Buffy doesn't appear to react) He, he'll come right back, I'll call him. Someone'll call him."I

~*~*~*~

IBuffy: "I miss Giles."

We see Buffy sitting across the table from Willow.

Willow: "Oh. He's coming back, I talked to him. I know I'm a kind of poor substitute, but until then, we'll get it done."I

~*~*~*~

IBuffy stares back. Giles puts down his bags, comes forward. Buffy walks forward until they are face-to-face.

Giles: (smiling) "Oh God, Buffy."

He hugs her. She hugs him back, closes her eyes.

Giles: "You're alive. You're here. And you're still ... (strained) ...remarkably strong."

Buffy: "Huh? Oh. (lets him go) Sorry."

Giles: "Willow told me, but I didn't really let myself believe ..."

Buffy: "I take a little getting used to. I'm still getting used to me."

Giles: "It's, uh ... you're ..."

Buffy: "A miracle?"

Giles: "Yes. But then, I always thought so."

Giles puts his hand on Buffy's cheek and looks at her fondly. The others watch, smiling. I

~*~*~*~

Giles smiled.

~*~*~*~

I Buffy: "I can start. How was England? (sits) How was ... life?"

Giles: "Uh, I'm not really sure how to answer that. Um, well, I arrived home, I, uh, met with the Council."

Buffy: "Always a good time."

Giles: "Yes. Otherwise, there's, uh, nothing really to report. I, um, I keep a flat in Bath. I, I, uh, met with a few old friends. Almost made a new one, which I think is ... statistically impossible for a man of my age."

He takes off his jacket, tosses it onto the sofa.

Buffy: "And now you're back."

Giles: "Yes."

Buffy: "Wow. Giles, are you miserable about it, or just really British?"

Giles: (smiles, takes off his glasses) "I can't lie to you, Buffy. (sits beside her) Um ... leaving Sunnydale was, uh, was difficult. And, uh, coming back was..."

Buffy: "I'm guessing the word is "inconvenient"?"

Giles: "No. Bewildering."

Buffy looks down. Giles puts a hand on her shoulder.

Giles: "And how are you? Really? You look tired."

Buffy: "Me? Nah. Fine."

Giles gives her a look and she drops the act.

Buffy: "I mean, yeah, you know, sleeping's hard, but ... just because of the whole waking up in a box thing. So maybe waking up's the problem. You know, but just for a second. I sleep okay. Great even. Except, you know, for the dreams ..."

She trails off, looks away again.

Giles: "You seem to be doing remarkably well under extreme circumstances. I'm proud of you."

Buffy: "Well, actually, it wasn't me. Willow brought me back. I just lay there."

Giles: "You-you know -- I meant…"

Buffy: "I know what you meant. It was just a little post-post-mortem comedy."

Giles smiles a little. Buffy gets up. I

~*~*~*~

The Watcher produced a small smile.

~*~*~*~

I Giles emerges from the back of the Magic Box. The others are still sitting around the table, except Anya, who is standing.

Anya: "Giles!"

Anya goes to Giles and gives him a big hug. He smiles.

Anya: "We're so glad to see you. We missed you. (pulls back to look at him) You can't have the store back."

Giles: "I know."

Anya: "You signed papers."

Giles: "I did." I

~*~*~*~

I Buffy: "We need one of those pull-out kinds. The kind with no payments 'til two-thousand-and-infinity."

Giles: "What?"

Buffy: "Oh, it's ... just money stuff. (sits on coffee table) It turns out ... Mom left me some, and while I was dead, it got squandered on luxuries like ... food and clothing."

Giles: (sits on sofa) "How bad is it?"

Buffy: "Anya says pretty bad. I'm kinda taking her word for it. Actually, I'm kinda trying to not think about it. Figured I'd put it out of my mind. You know, take a break. Get some perspective ... and then wake up at four a.m. terrified."

Buffy moves to sit on the sofa beside Giles, holding the top-sheet against her chest. She sighs.

Giles: "Buffy, perhaps you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I mean, to return from some ... unknown level of Hell ... it's only natural that coming back ... will be a process."

Buffy: "In the meantime, I'm scaring people."

Giles: "Well, if it's any consolation, life can be ... pretty overwhelming even for people who haven't been ... where you have."

Buffy: (softly) "I guess."

Giles: "Look, tomorrow morning, you and I will sit down together and we'll go through everything. Every bill, one by one. We'll work it out together."

Buffy looks at him. They gaze at each other.

Buffy: "I'm glad you're back."

Giles: "Well, I'm glad you are too."

Giles reaches out to put a hand on her shoulder, but she stands up and walks off before he can touch her. Giles sits there looking concerned, watching her go. I

~*~*~*~

A replica concerned expression fluttered over the sleeping Giles.

~*~*~*~

I Willow: "You have a good talk with Buffy?"

Giles: (closes the door behind him) "Yes, now that she's back."

Willow: (smiling) "Isn't it awesome?"

Giles: (goes over to the sink) "Mmm. (removes his glasses) Tell me about this spell you performed."

Willow: (excited) "This giant snake came out my mouth and there was all this energy crackling, and this pack of demons interrupted, but I totally kept it together. And then, the next thing you know? (triumphant) Buffy."

Giles: (over his shoulder) "You're a very stupid girl."

Willow: "What? Giles... I thought you'd be ... impressed, or, or something."

Giles: "Oh, don't worry, you've ... made a very deep impression. Of everyone here ... you were the one I trusted most to respect the forces of nature."

Willow: "Are you saying you don't trust me? I brought her back!"

Giles: "At incredible risk! Of killing us all. Unleashing hell on Earth, I mean, shall I go on? You were lucky."

Willow: "I wasn't lucky. I was amazing. And how would you know? You weren't even there."

Giles: "If I had been, I'd have bloody well stopped you. The magicks you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand, (even more angry) and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!" I

~*~*~*~

Giles grimaced.

~*~*~*~

IWillow: "Ooh, I could do a locator spell..."

Giles looks up from holding the ice pack against his head, gives Willow a look.

Willow: (stops smiling) "Or not."I

~*~*~*~

Giles puckered his brow.

~*~*~*~

IGiles: (sits next to Buffy) "Buffy?"

Buffy: (quietly) "I don't think I can do this."

Giles: "Yes you can. Your mother dealt with this sort of thing all the time. (Buffy looks up) She took ... one crisis at a time ... without the aid of any superpowers ... and got through it all. So can you."

Buffy: "You sure?"

Giles: "I'm positive."I

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "I see. Well, we should get all these ... bills and things out of the way before…"

Buffy: "I gotta go now."

She starts to leave, pauses and turns back again.

Buffy: "Um, thanks for taking care of this for me."

She exits, leaving Dawn and Giles staring at each other in dismay in the trashed living room.I

~*~*~*~

Asleep, Giles displayed a similar expression of dismay.

~*~*~*~

I Buffy: "Yeah, that ... sounds like a good plan. (looks across the table) What do you think, Giles?"

Giles nods and looks as if he's searching for words.I

~*~*~*~

IBuffy: (quietly) "I'm really screwing up, Giles."

Giles: "Go easy on yourself, will you? I mean, you don't have to figure the whole thing out at once, you know, job and everything. You're pushing yourself too hard."

Buffy: "The nice people at the phone company? Seem to think it's not hard enough."

Giles: "Well, maybe there's something I can do about that. (takes something from his pocket) This is, um ... I..."

It's a folded piece of paper. Giles turns it over and over in his hands, then holds it out to Buffy.

Giles: "It's for you."

Buffy: (takes it) "A cheque?"

She unfolds the check, looks at the amount, looks stunned.

Buffy: "This is, is too much, I can't take it."

Giles: "Well, tear it up then." (reaches for it)

Buffy: (snatches it away from him) "No! I was just being polite. (smiles) I'm taking the money."

Giles smiles, leans on the bed. Buffy looks at the check again.

Buffy: "This is, this is great. This is more than great."

Giles puts his hand on her shoulder. She looks up at him.

Buffy: "I don't ... really know how to say this ... (softly) but it's a little like having Mom back."

Giles: "Is there some sort of, um, rakish uncle?"

Buffy: (smiles) "I'm just saying ... (seriously) Thank you. So much."

Buffy tries to get up, groans in pain. Giles gets up, helps her stand.

Buffy: "I'm gonna ... show this to Dawn. She loves it when things get easy."

She walks to the door, looking at the check. Pauses in the doorway, turns back to Giles.

Buffy: "I just ... wanna tell you ... that, um ... this ... makes me feel safe. Knowing you're always gonna be here."

Giles gives her a smile and a nod. But as soon as Buffy turns to leave the room, his smile turns to a worried frown and he sighs. I

~*~*~*~

A worried expression cascaded over the librarian's features.

~*~*~*~

I Buffy: "What happened to Xander?"

Giles: "He kept poking me with his hook. (Buffy picks up an item from the counter) I sent him over to charmed objects. With any luck he'll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a 50-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates." I

~*~*~*~

Giles snickered.

~*~*~*~

I Buffy: (quietly to Giles) "Did you know about this?"

Giles: "No. Unless I blocked it from my memory, (glancing at Xander and Anya) much as I will Xander's vigorous use of his tongue."

Giles removes his glasses and begins to clean them. Buffy watches this with an expression of outrage.

Buffy: (shocked) "Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you don't have to see what we're doing?"
Giles: "Tell no one." (puts glasses on) I

~*~*~*~

Giles smirked.

~*~*~*~

I Willow speaks a few words of Japanese and a shimmer goes through the room. When it passes, the room is decorated with paper lanterns and streamers. Giles gives a disapproving look.I

~*~*~*~

Giles displayed a disappointed expression.

~*~*~*~

I Dawn: "Yeah. I'm sleeping over at Janice's, remember?"

Buffy: "That's tonight?"

Dawn: "Come on, you said I could."

Buffy: "I-I don't know. Giles?"

Giles: "Uh, it's really not up to me."I

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "Anya is a wonderful former vengeance demon, I'm sure you'll spend ... many years of ... non-hell-dimensional bliss."

Xander smiles, looks a bit nervous.

Giles: "Is she moving in with you?"

Xander: "Um..."

Giles: "You know, with your combined incomes, you might think about a down payment on a house."

Xander: "Like the kind you live in?"

Giles: "No rush. I'm sure you have plenty to think about with the arrangements for the wedding and so on. You've got the rest of your lives to plan the rest of your lives."

Xander: (laughs, nervously) "Yeah, yeah."

They sit there. Xander looks increasingly nervous. I

~*~*~*~

Giles scowled.

~*~*~*~

IGiles: "That was Janice's mother on the telephone. Apparently Janice said that she was staying here tonight."

Xander: "Ahh, they're dipping into the classics. You gotta respect that."

Giles: "Is Buffy still outside?" (going toward the door)

Xander: "Uh, no, no, she was gettin' antsy, she went to find Spike to patrol."

Giles: "Well, it's nice to be kept in the loop." I

~*~*~*~

Rupert glowered.

~*~*~*~

I Zack: "What do you know about it, grandpa?"

Zack swings a punch at Giles, who ducks and tackles Zack around the middle.

Giles: "Quite a bit actually." I

~*~*~*

I Buffy: "How's your face?"

Giles: (takes the icepack away from his face) "Oh, still ruggedly handsome. 'Grandpa,' indeed. (puts the ice back) Ow."

Buffy: (looking toward Dawn) "She's taking it pretty hard."

Giles: "Well, it's not surprising. Still, we can't ignore this kind of behavior. Something needs to be done before it spins out of control."

Buffy: (nods) "You're right. I'm glad you're here to take care of it. Don't ... be too hard on her, okay?"

Giles stares after her in surprise.I

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "We need to have a conversation."

Dawn: (quietly) "This the part where you tell me you're not angry ... just disappointed?" (looks anxiously at him)

Giles: "Pretty much. (tosses the ice-pack onto the table) Except for the bit about not being angry." I

~*~*~*~

Giles knitted his brow.

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "It may seem okay, but we need to work on precision and concentration as much as power. (goes to put the wood down) We're still not sure what we're facing."

Buffy: (puts one leg up on the horse, stretches) "Oh, you'll figure it out. I'm just worried this whole session's gonna turn into some training montage from an 80's movie."

Giles: "Ah. Well, if we hear any inspirational power chords, we'll just lie down until they go away. (picks up a towel) Anyway, I don't think we need to work that much on your strength."

Buffy: "Yeah, I'm pretty spry for a corpse." (doing a handstand on the horse)

Giles: (pauses) "Have you spoken to Dawn about that incident at Halloween?"

Buffy leaps down from the horse, frowns.

Buffy: "Oh. I thought you took care of that." (stretching her arms)

Giles: (softly) "Right."

Buffy: (oblivious) "What would I do without you?" I

~*~*~*~

I Giles:
You're not ready for the world outside
You keep pretending, but you just can't hide
[picks up something from weapons case]
I know I said that I'd be standing by your side
[walks toward Buffy]
Your path's unbeaten and it's all uphill
[throws another knife, which she deflects with one hand]
And you can meet it, but you never will
[walking back toward the weapons]
And I'm the reason that you're standing still
[looks at her as she stands waiting]
But I...
[walks back, throws another knife, Buffy kicks it aside in slow-motion]
I wish I could say the right words
To lead you through this land.
[Buffy still kicking in slo-mo]
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand [reaching out his hand, then pulls it back]
Wish I could stay here
But now I understand
[walks closer as Buffy does a handspring and then a split in slo-mo]
I'm standing in the way.

The cries around you, you don't hear at all

'Cause you know I'm here to take that call

[Cut back to the workout room. Giles walks around the perimeter in regular speed as Buffy  does flips across the center of the room in slo-mo.]

So you just lie there when you should be standing tall
But I...
[Buffy punching the punching bag in slo-mo as Giles walks around her]
I wish I could lay your arms down
And let you rest at last
Wish I could slay your demons
But now that time has passed
Wish I could stay here
Your stalwart, standing fast
But I've been standing in the way.

[Buffy walks right up in front of Giles, shaking her hair out, still in slo-mo.]
  I'm just standing ... in the way. I

~*~*~*~

I Giles:

Believe me, I don't wanna go
And it'll grieve me 'cause I love you so
Wish I could stayI

~*~*~*~

Giles groaned.

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "Yes we are. (looks intently at Buffy) Buffy's going alone."

Spike: (disgusted laugh) "Gah! Don't be a stupid git. There is no…"

Giles: "If I want your opinion, Spike, I'll- (pauses to consider) I'll never want your opinion."

~*~*~*~

Buffy: "You're really not coming."

Giles: (walks up to her) "It's up to you, Buffy."

Buffy: (upset) "What do you expect me to do?"

Giles: "Your best." I

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "I have to."

Reveal Buffy standing beside him. She looks shocked.

Buffy: "Uh-huh."

She sits on a pile of exercise mats, frowning.

Giles: "You have to be strong. I'm, I'm trying to…"

Buffy: (jumps up) "Trying to, to what? (angrily) Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need somebody?"

Giles: (quietly) "I don't want to leave…"

Buffy: "So don't. Please don't." I

~*~*~*~

Rupert Giles moaned as he recognised the vision.

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "Well, now that we've recovered from Spike's ... sartorial humor, (sighs) I'll jump (glancing at Buffy) to the chase. Um ... I'm headed back to England (Dawn looking surprised) and I plan to stay ... indefinitely."

Giles sits beside Anya. Everyone looks surprised.

Xander: "Now? Not now, I mean, not after ... everything."

Giles: "Yes, now."

Anya: "For real this time? 'Cause honest to Pete, a young shopkeeper's heart can only take so much ... I mean, not that I want you to go…"

Buffy: "I can't do this." I

~*~*~*~

Slumber Giles displayed a disappointed expression.

~*~*~*~

I Giles: (gets up) "It's not just you. Does anyone remember anything?"

Everyone shakes their heads. I

~*~*~*~

I Buffy: "Well, maybe that's it. Maybe something magic happened…"

Giles: (scoffs) "Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. (everyone looking at him) Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With ... glasses. (removes glasses) Well, that narrows it down considerably." I

~*~*~*~

I Giles: "We'll all get our memory back, and it'll all be right as rain."

Spike: "Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. (everyone looking at him) You Englishmen are always so... (pauses) Bloody hell! (ticks off on his fingers) Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!"

Giles: (puts glasses on) "Welcome to the nancy tribe." I

~*~*~*~

The British Watcher smiled, slightly confusedly.

~*~*~*

I Anya: "Um, this key fits this lock. And, uh, the forms ... next to the cash register say that, uh, Rupert and, and Anya own the shop together."

Giles: "This is our magic shop? (goes over to Anya) Uh, well, that's very, uh, uh, progressive of me." I

~*~*~*~

A slight 'hmmm' escaped Giles' mouth.

~*~*~*~

I Giles finds something in his jacket pocket, pulls it out.

Giles' plane ticket is on "Global Airlines" going from Sunnydale to Los Angeles and thence to London Heathrow. I

~*~*~*~

I Giles sitting on the plane surrounded by other passengers. He stares off in front of him.I

~*~*~*~

 His telephone ringing caused Giles to jump up from his sleep. He stumbled around his desk and put on his glasses.

" Hello?" He responded, lazily, into the mouthpiece. The person on the other line spoke.

" Wesley? So, did you find the Gabba text? You did…good. Bring them to the library this afternoon. We have a lot of research to do." Giles responded to his fellow Watcher. Once he hung up, he reflected on his apparitions.

Was that his future? Leaving three helpless 'teens' on their own? He would leave a motherless slayer, a powerful witch, and a frightened fiancé to fend off by themselves.

Rubbing his glasses with his shirt, he thought. He had to prevent that from occurring. He could not bear to see disappointment on Buffy's face…he couldn't bear to leave the ones he loved.