Cactus Jack: Well, I had to cut my hand off to regain control of my body.
Now Mr Socko is gone perhaps I can finish my next book in piece.
Mr Socko: I'm lying on the ground Mick you fat bastard.
Cactus Jack: Although I guess it's going to be difficult to write with one hand.
Mr Socko: You find it difficult to write full stop end of sentence.
Cactus Jack: And now I'd like to introduce chapter 4 of "The Erotic Adventures of Kevin Nash"... wait a minute, that's not this fic, that's my next book - no-one is supposed to know about it yet! Someone will steal my idea! Er, I mean, hi there folks, and welcome to the last chapter of 'Under the Ring'. I'm afraid all good things must come to an end, eh?
Mr Socko: This fool of an author ran out of ideas two chapters ago, so it's no wonder this is the end. By the time the reader has finished reading this pathetic chapter I will rule the world.
Cactus Jack: Thanks for reading and reviewing everybody! Enjoy the conclusion! BANG BANG!
Mr Socko: I WILL RULE ALL.
Having recovered from their beatings, Lesnar and Angle now sat at a table, although they didn't have any drinks.
"How come Taker managed to beat you so bad? I thought you were an Olympic gold medallist?" queried Brock.
"Shut up - you got beaten up by a woman!" retorted Kurt. Brock started shaking nervously.
"Sarah is a monster! She can even F-Five Big Show!"
Before Kurt could question this, Al Wilson wandered over and climbed up onto Kurt and Brock's table. He put his arms behind his head and began to sway his hips and moves his shoulders.
"What the heck are you doing?" Kurt asked Al.
"Would you like me to lap dance for you?" Al asked casually.
"I'm scared," said Brock.
"So am I," said Kurt. "Al, get down from our table or I'll break your Angle, I mean Ankle."
"Perhaps you would prefer my daughter to lap dance for you?" Al asked.
"Heck no," said Kurt. "All I care about is getting back to my own reality and out of this crazy place."
"I could put my thong on if you'd like," suggested Al. Angle and Brock immediately stood up, yawning loudly.
"My, I'm tired. Time for bed," said Angle, and he and Brock quickly left the bar and went to their room. They awoke early next morning and prepared to leave.
After their beating by The Undertaker (and the horrific offer of a lap dance from Al Wilson) Brock and Kurt were more than happy to have left the Wonderful World of the WWE. They now resumed their journey along the yellow brick road and their quest for the wizard. On their way they saw scarecrow Al Snow and tin man Chris Benoit, both of whom were ignored.
Finally the pair reached the end of the yellow brick road.
"Wait a minute," said Kurt. "This is JR's palace, where I started!"
"Whoops," said Brock. "We must have went the wrong way after leaving the Wonderful World of the WWE."
So the pair had to run ALL the way back, past Mae Young's, past the Wonderful World of the WWE, and finally they reached the other end of the road, where there was a different palace. They entered and took a look around. An elderly man with a long grey beard and grey robes was standing in the room they were in.
"I am the wise wizard Ian McKellen, I mean, Gandalf, I mean, the wizard of Oz, I mean, the wizard of the WWE," said the old man. "Cough!"
"Oh heck - he actually SAYS cough!" muttered Kurt. "Look, I've had just about enough of all this. So, send me back to my own reality."
Suddenly the lights began flashing on and off and Victoria ran into the room.
"Not so fast! I am the wicked bitch of the WWE and I will kill you for crushing my sister Ivory with that house!" she said.
"I'm scared," said Brock. "No really - I am. I know it sounds sarcastic, but I really am."
"I didn't do that. I just Angle-slammed her and then broke her ankle," explained Kurt.
"That's much worse! Ivory loved that ankle! It was the only attractive body part she had. I will destroy you both for I am Victoria, the strongest person in this world!" yelled the bitch.
"Find your courage Brock. It has been with you all along. Cough cough," suggested the wizard.
Brock closed his eyes for a moment, and found that the wizard was indeed correct.
"Oh yeah?" he said. "Well bitch, where are YOUR under 15 bronze girls division bronze judo medals? Oh wait, that's right I forgot - you don't have any. HERE COME THE PAIN!"
Brock ran over to Victoria, lifted her above his head and snapped her in two.
"Oh shit," she said before dying.
As Kurt watched on, the police arrived and arrested Brock Lesnar for the murder of Victoria. Nailz, possibly the most overworked security guard, prison officer and policeman in the world, handcuffed him and led him away.
"Well, my turn. Send me back," demanded Kurt.
"Sure Kurt, I, the great Ian McKellen, I mean Magneto, I mean Harry potter, I mean the wizard of the WWE, will aid you. You must put on these ruby slippers. Cough."
Kurt looked at them.
"No way mister. I'm an Olympic gold medallist."
"They are the only way for you to get back to your own reality. Cough."
Kurt sighed.
"Okay, okay."
He took the slippers and put them on.
"Now, cough, for the ruby earrings. Cough." said the wizard.
"Wait a min-"
"Cough. And the red lipstick."
"NO NO NO..."
"And the, cough, pink dress..."
Ten minutes later...
"And this blonde wig. Cough. Well okay, now you're ready to go. Just do some tap dancing while saying 'There's no place like the WWE. Cough.'"
Kurt began awkwardly tap-dancing while shouting "There's no place like the WWE. Cough." over and over. Suddenly , reality fades away and Kurt finds himself back home. Assuming home was a big house filled with Al Wilson clones.
"Would you like us to lap dance for you?" they all said at once.
"ARRRRGH!" yelled Kurt.
THE END
Mr Socko: I RULE ALL! HA HA HA HA HA!
Mr Socko: I'm lying on the ground Mick you fat bastard.
Cactus Jack: Although I guess it's going to be difficult to write with one hand.
Mr Socko: You find it difficult to write full stop end of sentence.
Cactus Jack: And now I'd like to introduce chapter 4 of "The Erotic Adventures of Kevin Nash"... wait a minute, that's not this fic, that's my next book - no-one is supposed to know about it yet! Someone will steal my idea! Er, I mean, hi there folks, and welcome to the last chapter of 'Under the Ring'. I'm afraid all good things must come to an end, eh?
Mr Socko: This fool of an author ran out of ideas two chapters ago, so it's no wonder this is the end. By the time the reader has finished reading this pathetic chapter I will rule the world.
Cactus Jack: Thanks for reading and reviewing everybody! Enjoy the conclusion! BANG BANG!
Mr Socko: I WILL RULE ALL.
Having recovered from their beatings, Lesnar and Angle now sat at a table, although they didn't have any drinks.
"How come Taker managed to beat you so bad? I thought you were an Olympic gold medallist?" queried Brock.
"Shut up - you got beaten up by a woman!" retorted Kurt. Brock started shaking nervously.
"Sarah is a monster! She can even F-Five Big Show!"
Before Kurt could question this, Al Wilson wandered over and climbed up onto Kurt and Brock's table. He put his arms behind his head and began to sway his hips and moves his shoulders.
"What the heck are you doing?" Kurt asked Al.
"Would you like me to lap dance for you?" Al asked casually.
"I'm scared," said Brock.
"So am I," said Kurt. "Al, get down from our table or I'll break your Angle, I mean Ankle."
"Perhaps you would prefer my daughter to lap dance for you?" Al asked.
"Heck no," said Kurt. "All I care about is getting back to my own reality and out of this crazy place."
"I could put my thong on if you'd like," suggested Al. Angle and Brock immediately stood up, yawning loudly.
"My, I'm tired. Time for bed," said Angle, and he and Brock quickly left the bar and went to their room. They awoke early next morning and prepared to leave.
After their beating by The Undertaker (and the horrific offer of a lap dance from Al Wilson) Brock and Kurt were more than happy to have left the Wonderful World of the WWE. They now resumed their journey along the yellow brick road and their quest for the wizard. On their way they saw scarecrow Al Snow and tin man Chris Benoit, both of whom were ignored.
Finally the pair reached the end of the yellow brick road.
"Wait a minute," said Kurt. "This is JR's palace, where I started!"
"Whoops," said Brock. "We must have went the wrong way after leaving the Wonderful World of the WWE."
So the pair had to run ALL the way back, past Mae Young's, past the Wonderful World of the WWE, and finally they reached the other end of the road, where there was a different palace. They entered and took a look around. An elderly man with a long grey beard and grey robes was standing in the room they were in.
"I am the wise wizard Ian McKellen, I mean, Gandalf, I mean, the wizard of Oz, I mean, the wizard of the WWE," said the old man. "Cough!"
"Oh heck - he actually SAYS cough!" muttered Kurt. "Look, I've had just about enough of all this. So, send me back to my own reality."
Suddenly the lights began flashing on and off and Victoria ran into the room.
"Not so fast! I am the wicked bitch of the WWE and I will kill you for crushing my sister Ivory with that house!" she said.
"I'm scared," said Brock. "No really - I am. I know it sounds sarcastic, but I really am."
"I didn't do that. I just Angle-slammed her and then broke her ankle," explained Kurt.
"That's much worse! Ivory loved that ankle! It was the only attractive body part she had. I will destroy you both for I am Victoria, the strongest person in this world!" yelled the bitch.
"Find your courage Brock. It has been with you all along. Cough cough," suggested the wizard.
Brock closed his eyes for a moment, and found that the wizard was indeed correct.
"Oh yeah?" he said. "Well bitch, where are YOUR under 15 bronze girls division bronze judo medals? Oh wait, that's right I forgot - you don't have any. HERE COME THE PAIN!"
Brock ran over to Victoria, lifted her above his head and snapped her in two.
"Oh shit," she said before dying.
As Kurt watched on, the police arrived and arrested Brock Lesnar for the murder of Victoria. Nailz, possibly the most overworked security guard, prison officer and policeman in the world, handcuffed him and led him away.
"Well, my turn. Send me back," demanded Kurt.
"Sure Kurt, I, the great Ian McKellen, I mean Magneto, I mean Harry potter, I mean the wizard of the WWE, will aid you. You must put on these ruby slippers. Cough."
Kurt looked at them.
"No way mister. I'm an Olympic gold medallist."
"They are the only way for you to get back to your own reality. Cough."
Kurt sighed.
"Okay, okay."
He took the slippers and put them on.
"Now, cough, for the ruby earrings. Cough." said the wizard.
"Wait a min-"
"Cough. And the red lipstick."
"NO NO NO..."
"And the, cough, pink dress..."
Ten minutes later...
"And this blonde wig. Cough. Well okay, now you're ready to go. Just do some tap dancing while saying 'There's no place like the WWE. Cough.'"
Kurt began awkwardly tap-dancing while shouting "There's no place like the WWE. Cough." over and over. Suddenly , reality fades away and Kurt finds himself back home. Assuming home was a big house filled with Al Wilson clones.
"Would you like us to lap dance for you?" they all said at once.
"ARRRRGH!" yelled Kurt.
THE END
Mr Socko: I RULE ALL! HA HA HA HA HA!