Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-Yasha, or "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". (I did a revised version… Hehe… ^_^;) Sue me and all you'll get is some loose change and a maybe a mint.
A/N: This popped into my head during PE when we were jumping rope… @_@ We do that a lot… When we aren't doing sprints or pacers or… * Readers give her the 'SHUT UP OR DIE!' look and she instantly silences. Enjoy and review! Thanks!
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I Saw Kagome Kissing Santa Claus
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"Kagome-chan!" Shippo called from the clearing.
"Yes Shippo-chan?" Kagome entered, petting him on the head.
"Kagome-chan… Inu-Yasha keeps trying to beat me up…" He whimpered.
"What's new?" Sango muttered in annoyance, rolling her eyes. She felt a familiar touch on her backside and automatically whacked Miroku over the head with her boomerang.
"And that's not new either." She gave the monk an annoyed look.
"Pervert."
Kagome shook her head. Some things would never change.
"Inu-Yasha… Be nice to Shippo… It's Christmas… You're supposed to be kind and let other people know how you feel about them… But instead you're…"
"Threatening me!" Shippo interrupted.
"Yeah, and…"
"It's not nice!" Shippo interjected again.
"And you really…" Kagome continued hopelessly.
"Should stop!" Shippo demanded, curling into a ball on Kagome's lap.
"Is this you or the brat talking?" Inu-Yasha asked Kagome. He whacked Shippo over the head in annoyance and the kitsune squeaked.
"SIT!" Kagome shrieked.
"Haha!" Shippo mocked the hanyou writhing on the floor.
It had always been like this. But now it was to a frustrating extreme, in Kagome's opinion. Perhaps it was proving the point that the group could not be together in such close proximity for such a length of time if no battles or shard hunting were involved. Kagome knew it was her fault, but she had never thought telling the group about Christmas would lead to this.
** Flashback **
"Oi, Kagome… Is your mother trying to electrify that cat of yours? What's with all the damn lights?" Inu-Yasha muttered in confusion as he entered the future girl's house, hauling her heavy backpack as she followed behind, trying to push it through the door.
"It's… MPH… almost… MPH… Can't you pull any harder…? MPH… Christmas… MPH!" With a final shove, the bag flew through the doorway, creating a dent in the far wall. The two stared at it, blinking.
"I really need to stop carrying so much stuff…" Kagome murmured, sweatdropping.
"Damn straight." Inu-Yasha agreed.
"And what in the seven hells is Christmas?" He asked absently.
"Oh yeah… You guys don't have it, do you?" She looked at Inu-Yasha in realization. He gave her a look that one of her friends might give her. It said, 'Well, DUH!'
"Anyway… Christmas isn't from Japan; it originates far to the east. It's actually a religious holiday, celebrating the birth of a boy. However, it's become very commercialized. All the children there hang up their… socks I think… and get a tree to grow in their home and then… umm… this old fat guy with a white beard in a red suit comes down the chimney and brings them presents…" She shrugged her shoulders sheepishly.
"My mom knows more about it than me. She lived in America for a year for a student exchange program. She loved the holiday so much she has always celebrated it with her family here since. So we always hang up lights and have a big dinner and exchange presents. It's really fun, even though I've never really understood it." She shook her head.
"So how does the old guy get down the chimney?" Inu-Yasha asked in confusion.
"Wouldn't his back give out or something? I can't picture Kaede-baba doing that…"
"And why would an old, fat guy bring a bunch of strange kids gifts…? Is he like rich or something? And why do kids leave out their socks, or all things? If they really want a lot, they should leave out garbage bags… And how do they get a tree to grow indoors? Is it some kind of spell?" Inu-Yasha babbled on in puzzlement as Kagome sighed.
Why did I say anything? She wondered hopelessly to herself.
"I don't know. I have no clue. Maybe he's a nut. He could be a rich nut. American kids are weird. How should I know?! I doubt they know magic, we don't ever have a tree, so I wouldn't know…" Kagome answered in frustration.
"Okay then…" Inu-Yasha replied. He was still confused, but she really didn't seem to know.
"Ooh… Wouldn't it be fun if our friends back in Feudal times could celebrate Christmas?" She smiled softly.
"I'd give Shippo lots of chocolate, and I could teach the girls in the village some Christmas carols, and I could give Miroku some mistletoe, and…" She rambled on happily.
"So why don't we?" Inu-Yasha muttered in annoyance.
"Hm?" Kagome looked up at him in confusion.
"It sounds amusing… Let's have this Crizmuss of yours…" He continued.
She didn't either bother to correct him. She threw her arms around him happily.
"Wow! That's so uncharacteristically nice of you!" She squeaked in excitement.
"Feh. Whatever. I just want ramen." He nodded and Kagome gave an exasperated sigh.
"Sure, Inu-Yasha. Whatever you say…" She replied, rolling her eyes as she ran upstairs to get her wallet. She had some gifts to purchase.
** Backflash **
So here she was. The gang had remained in the village over the past two weeks. Everyone was getting antsy, not used to staying in one place so long. The villagers had gladly given up their work to help prepare for "The Crizmuss Festival" as they had come to call it.
Thank you Inu-Yasha… She thought sarcastically at their interesting spelling on the banner they were making.
"Oi, Kagome-sama! Is this alright?" Miroku walked over and showed her his Christmas card.
"It's for Sango-sama." He smiled pleasantly.
"Oh, that's really sweet, Miroku!" She beamed at him.
"I'm sure she'll…" She saw the inside of the card and her face flushed, she gave him an indignant look.
"Hit you… And then I'll do likewise…"
"I am simply showing my appreciation for the female body." Miroku justified himself confidently.
"Damn, Lech! You're groping her even in your artwork!" Inu-Yasha commented, looking over Kagome's shoulder in interest.
"So, you're saying I shouldn't give it to her…?" Miroku asked, arching an eyebrow questioningly.
"Not unless you wanna get your brains bashed in!" Inu-Yasha replied, smirking at the monk's startled look as he hastily took the card and scurried off.
"He will never learn…" Kagome shook her head in disgust.
"There ain't any doubt in that." Inu-Yasha agreed, ambling off again.
"Kagome-chan! Come on! We're supposed to be baking!" Shippo squeaked, pulling his mother figure over to Kaede's hut.
"Aye, child. Is this the sort of thing you were speaking of?" She pointed at a drawing in a gathering of tied-together, hand-written recipes.
She looked at the drawing critically. It looked somewhat like a cookie. She nodded.
"It will work just fine, Kaede-sama. Arigatou." She beamed at the elderly woman who looks satisfied with herself.
"It was a recipe of my grandmother's." Kaede commented.
"However, I will have to send someone out to fetch some spiders."
"What for?" Kagome asked hesitantly, not liking where this was going.
"Silly, Kagome-chan! You can't have Spider Pastries without spiders!" Shippo squeaked.
"Spider… * Gulp * Pastries?" Kagome choked, her face turning a faint shade of green.
"Yes, child. That is what they are." Kaede looked up at her in puzzlement.
"Uh… Kaede-sama… Do you have any cookies that don't involve spiders…?" She asked hesitantly.
"I suppose." Kaede replied grudgingly.
"And those are my favorite too…" Shippo murmured in disappointment as Kagome gave them a mild disgusted look.
"Ah, those look better." She pointed at a different pastry, which did not call for creatures of any kind for its creation.
"They're not crunchy though…" Shippo commented bitterly as Kagome grimaced in revulsion.
"Uh yeah… you get right to work on that…" Kagome ducked out of the hut, trying not to gag.
"Oi, Kagome!" Her eyes widened when she saw what Inu-Yasha was carrying.
"What do I do with this thing?" He had seemed to uprooted a gargantuan pine tree that had to be at least 40-50 feet tall.
"Uh… Replant it?" She asked, sweatdropping profusely.
"Great… Just great… What's the friggin' point?" He grunted in defeat, walking away.
"Man… One crisis after another… Next year, I'm staying on my side of the well for Christmas…" Kagome murmured in frustration, walking off.
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"Kagome-chan… I can't sleep…" Shippo moaned, rolling over. Getting no response, he repeated himself. When he STILL got no reply, he opened one eye. His fur bristled in alarm.
"WHERE IS KAGOME-CHAN???" He leaped into the air in alarm. It was Christmas Eve. It was dark. She was SUPPOSED to be asleep!
Landing he began to search wildly. Under pillows, under the sleeping bag, in Miroku's wide-open, drooling mouth, everywhere! He ran outside and was about to shriek when he saw a strange figure by the "Crizmuss Tree" Inu-Yasha had gotten. Kagome, he could tell, was intimidated by it for some strange reason. It made no sense. It was HER holiday afterall. HER tree. What was the deal? But he was getting off track. Who was that weird guy??? Shippo growled angrily. The guy turned around and Shippo gasped. He looked like that guy from "The Night Before Crizzmus"! Kagome had made them all listen as she read it and Inu-Yasha kept asking stupid questions like, "What is a clatter?" That was when Kagome had sworn to never read a story to Inu-Yasha ever again. Then he'd cussed at her, she sat him, and things went on as usual. But still… The resemblance between the old man with a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly and this weird guy was scary. He took a sharp intake of breath.
"Santa Claus!" He gasped. He was about to spring upon the figure and demand chocolate when another person appeared.
"Kyaaaaa! Kagome-chan!" He squeaked, hiding in the bushes. She'd be really mad if she found out he'd tried to jump Santa. He looked out, blinking in surprise. He then settled back on his haunches to watch.
"This could be interesting…"
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"Oi…" Kagome whispered in disbelief, seeing the bearded figure crouched by the tree.
"Santa Claus?"
The figure leaped back in surprise, falling on his back. Pretty uncoordinated considering he went down a billion chimneys every year. He hid his face and she arched an eyebrow in concern for Santa's sanity.
"Feh, wench… Uh… I mean… HO, HO, HO!" The Santa mumbled.
"Santa doesn't call girls wenches as far as I know…" Kagome observed suspiciously.
"He'd have to make an exception with you, bitch…" 'Santa' grumbled, rubbing his back in pain.
"And I'm definitely sure he doesn't call anyone a bitch, either…" Kagome hissed.
"Maybe you don't know this Santa Claus as well as you think…" 'Santa' replied.
"Inu-Yasha, you're a great fighter, but your acting stinks…" Kagome commented in exasperation.
"I'm not Inu-Yasha, I'm Santa Claus! Would that handsome Inu-Yasha be wearing a beard?" 'Santa' asked indignantly.
"If he was actually doing something nice for once… or if he had killed Santa and stolen his clothes…" Kagome added as an afterthought.
"He might…"
"Feh…" 'Santa' muttered.
"Oh come on Inu-Yasha… I'm not an idiot…" Kagome rolled her eyes.
"Can't readily agree on that one…" Inu-Yasha murmured.
"UGH! YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY!" She shrieked.
"SIT!" Kagome smiled slightly seeing him sink into the dirt.
"STUPID WENCH!" He protested.
"Oh yeah… I'm curious…" Kagome remembered what she was originally going to ask.
"Why are you prowling around out here dressed like Santa Claus?"
"I…" He began, lifting a finger, he then dropped it as quick as he had lifted it and tucked his hands into his kimono.
"Feh."
"You say that way too much…" Kagome commented, shaking her head.
"C'mon… You couldn't have just been crouching out here for nothing… Although you are kinda strange sometimes…"
He gave her an indignant look, snorting in irritation.
"I did it for you…" He muttered, shaking his head as though he personally thought himself crazy.
"Huh?" She looked at him in confusion.
"You seemed so excited about the whole thing… And you got every other damn person within a ten-mile radius feeling the same way… If we went through all that… And no Santa Claus showed up… I thought it would put a damper on the whole thing… for yo-everybody…" He admitted.
"Really?" She asked, blinking in surprise.
"Yeah." He replied reluctantly.
"You made it seem like it was something special."
"It is special. It brings people together." She replied softly.
"And wow… Are those presents for everyone?" She saw several crudely wrapped packages under the over-sized tree.
"I guess." He nodded his head slightly.
"Oh… I… Those gift things you keep babbling about… I got you one…" He nonchalantly tossed a package at her.
She caught it, eyes wide in surprise that he remembered. It was messily wrapped in newspaper and tied with a thin line of fabric from his kimono. Looking at the newspaper in confusion, she remembered her mother's anger over the disappearance of the paper a week ago when she'd come home for more Christmas things. This is where it had gotten apparently. She looked at him accusingly and he shrugged it off, looking away. She carefully untied the strand of fabric, tucking it in her pocket. She then ripped away at the newspaper. She unfolded the parcel, and smiled brightly.
"Inu-Yasha… It's wonderful…" She whispered.
"Thank you." She held out the green fire-rat jacket. She pulled it on, reveling in its softness. She walked over to him, hugging him gently. Blush tinged his cheeks, but he for some reason unknown to himself, didn't push her away. He instead leaned into it, leaning his chin on her shoulder. He didn't even seem to realize what he was doing. She smiled at him softly, pulling away slightly. He looked a bit hurt, but masculine pride took over and he grunted in ascent.
"I didn't know what to get you." She commented, still smiling.
"But I think I finally found it." She reached in her pocket, pulling out the mistletoe she'd brought from home. She held it above his head, still smiling.
"I was gonna give it to Miroku… But I think this is better… Merry Christmas Inu-Yasha." She kissed him gently, and was surprised when she felt him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around her to get closer.
"You didn't think I just went home yesterday to get that sweater, did you?" She smiled at him, twisting the mistletoe between her fingers.
"Oh yeah, and if you try to impersonate Santa again, you may want to cover up the ears…" She tugged them gently, and he smirked slightly.
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"Did you sleep well, Kagome?" Sango asked as Kagome emerged from Kaede's hut where they had slept.
"Hai, Sango-chan." Kagome beamed at her happily.
"You're in a good mood." Miroku observed.
"Well, it's Christmas afterall." Kagome blushed slightly, thinking of her encounter with Inu-Yasha last night.
"Did Inu-Yasha finally act like a man? I was hoping my charm would finally rub off on him…" Miroku asked, just as his head collided with Sango's boomerang.
"Lecherous monk…" Inu-Yasha growled, leaping down from his customary tree. He came over to sit with the three, although only two were conscious… Kaede came out with breakfast she had kindly prepared for them and they all sat down to what they hoped to be, an unusually uneventful meal. They all looked up curiously from their dishes as Shippo arrived, half-an-hour late. Shippo was never late for food. Strangely, he didn't sit down to eat, instead standing in front of Inu-Yasha and Kagome expectantly.
"Oi, Shippo-chan…" Kagome blinked at him questioningly.
"What's up?"
"Nothing much. But I made a new Christmas song from one you taught us a few days ago. Would you like to hear it?" He looked at her as though willing her to say yes.
"Sure…" She smiled at him hesitantly, not liking the look in his eyes.
"Ahem." He cleared his throat as everyone gave him a strange look.
"I saw Kagome kissing Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
Outside to have a peep;
She thought I was still inside
Kaede's fast asleep.
I saw Kagome pulling Santa Claus
By his fuzzy ears so snowy white
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Inu-Yasha had only seen
Kagome kissing Santa Claus last night!" He smiled brightly.
Inu-Yasha looked furious. Kagome looked embarrassed. Miroku was obviously thinking perverted thoughts as he recovered from unconsciousness. Sango knocked him right back into it. Shippo knew this would be a good time to make his exit.
"Oh yeah, Kagome-chan… It was kinda weird that Santa had ears, they were like Inu-Yasha's, only cooler and I couldn't really understand what you and Santa were saying, but if you end up getting married or something, can I go with you??? I want candy-canes! Oh Inu-Yasha's gonna kill me now, isn't he? Later!" He cringed as Inu-Yasha made a move to strangle him.
"STOP TRYING TO HURT SHIPPO!" Kagome shrieked.
"SIT!"
"BITCH!" Inu-Yasha growled angrily.
"SIT! SIT! SIT!" It continued on and on.
"KAGOME! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!" Shippo squealed in fright as Inu-Yasha lunged after him.
"Glad we're not like that, Sango." Miroku commented, taking this amusing moment to touch her backside.
"PERVERT!" Sango shrieked, whacking him over the head again. You'd think he'd have learned by now.
And it seemed just like Christmas should be. Some things would never change.
The End
A/N: That was fun… ^_^; Anyways, review and tell me what you think! I've now officially been 14 for half-an-hour! Yay! Anyways, Merry Late Christmas and Happy New Year! And Happy Birthday to me! Arigatou and Sayonara! ^_^
~Trunks Gal~