Yamato's POV
The game. I have to admit, I didn't want to come originally, but I think now it would take a thousand wild Digimon to tear me away. Either that, or Tai. But neither will come to stop me, so I'll sit here and enjoy the game, sitting here, next to Kyou.
My Kyou, so sweet and gentle. I made him so happy by coming to the game. He says that afterwards he has a special surprise for me, to make up for earlier this afternoon. When I told him he didn't have to do such nice things for me, he told me he wanted to, he told me he wanted to show how much he cared for me, and this was the best way he could.
I wish I could do something that would please him. I'm always messing up and making his life such a living hell. Nothing I do is good enough, that's what I think. He never tells me that, no, he's always so sweet to me, but I know.
But... when I'm watching the game, Kyou could disappear and I wouldn't notice. Only one person on the field exists, only one face appears in my mind. Only one player on the field. Only one dream left in my world of endless night.
But it's wrong! I shouldn't feel this way! I'm with Kyou! He's taken such good care of me, so why the goddamn fucking hell should I be thinking of Tai this way?! Especially when Tai's one of the oh-so-few things Kyou doesn't like.
It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair!
Don't ask me what, I haven't the faintest idea.
I just... know it's not right. Not right for me to even think of Tai when Kyou hates him with such a passion. Not right for me to consider anything other than pleasing Kyou. After all, Kyou only thinks about pleasing me! Why shouldn't I give him the same courtesy?
Because I can't.
Damnit.
Never
look
or pry
too deeply
inside
those hidden
and elusive
words
for
you may not
want
to truly
hear
those ever
disappearing
answers
to your
questions
I don't even know Taichi anymore. I know nothing about the person he's grown up to be. All I know is what I've heard, and the memories of the boy I fought with. He's grown up so much since then... both physically and mentally. The attractive child grew up to be this amazingly gorgeous youth who's got most of the school in love with him.
He's getting good grades, not slacking off anymore the way he was so prone to do when we were younger. He's the captain of the soccer team for the third year in a row, and they've won the championships the past two years, and look like they're going to continue their reign this year as well, if the game keeps going this way. The poster boy for school now.
And the one person I can't go near.
Kyou's not asking too much of me, I mean, Tai's only one person in this school, and it's not too much to ask of me, right? I mean... it's not like it's that hard... but...
It's not fair. Why can't I just concentrate on Kyou?
The bench digs into one of those bruises, and I wince slightly. Well, that's one way to return to reality. Not my favorite one, but at the same time... it's very effective.
Where did Tai go?!
He was on the field a moment ago, and now... now he's gone! Stay calm, stay calm, he's only one person, it's not that big of a deal, it's ok....
Who the hell am I kidding?
Taichi, Taichi, where ARE you?!
"Having fun, Yama-chan?" Kyou asks softly from beside me, his arm draped around my shoulders. I smile a little shakily back at him, wondering how much he knows about what I've been thinking, and how angry he'd be if he ever found out everything about it.
"Yeah," I manage to reply, but my mind is focused on one thing. Where the hell is Taichi?!
"Something bothering you?" Kyou asks in his tender way, eyes worried.
I shake my head. I can't tell him what's going through my mind. I can't!
He brushes a soft kiss across my temple, and then he goes off to talk to some of his other friends.
I love him so much... so why did I feel like pulling away from him?!
Foolish
to
believe
everything will
be all right
in the end
oh so very
foolish
for truly
nothing can
ever be
'right'
ever
again
I don't know what to do... I only think about Tai as I watch the rest of the game, wondering where he is, what he's doing, why he's not playing. I should be wondering why Kyou's not back yet, but... I can't think of Kyou right now... and I don't know why. Why is it that someone I haven't even spoken to since we were kids is the one invading my thoughts instead of my boyfriend? Why is it that Tai is the one I think of and not Kyou?
Someone help me...
This is so fucked up...
Sorry this one's a little short, but I'm working on my other Digific, Trust, right now, although I'm getting tired of it... I'm working on the next chap. but it might be a while before it gets up because I'm going more into the character of Shin... *grin* I'm beginning to like this guy, so he might be appearing in my other Digifics as well... *smiles evilly* Oh, and as for the questions about Shin... he's just a nice, friendly soccer guy... who will be explained about in the next chapter.