There are close enough to 35 reviews... I guess... *pout* But that's ok, I really need help if you guys want the next chapter... so please review, ok? Then I'll write, but this could go one of two ways... And your opinion matters. So please tell me!!!
Tai's POV
"Are you just gonna stare at me like I'm some sort of idiot, or are you actually gonna tell me what the fuck's going on, Shin?" I ask, more than a little tired of this. I NEED to know what's going on with Yama, but if Shin's just going to tease me with these things, then he can just fuck off. Now. Before I lose my temper. Before I say thing's I'll regret. Before I do something I'll regret. Before I completely lose it in front of him and destroy the fragile reputation I've managed to get during my stay at this LOVELY school here, of being so cool and happy.
I disgust myself sometimes.
"I'm just surprised you didn't know about everything yet, what with the way you've been trying to get closer to Yamato since you noticed he was here... And with the way he's been deliberately avoiding you all the time."
So someone else noticed that shit Yama's been pulling for the past several days. Weeks. Months. Since he started going out with that goddamn bastard, Harukawa Kyousuke. Well, considering I still don't have a goddamn clue about why he's acting like that, maybe it would be nice if Shin would clue me in before I go slightly insane over this.
I have no patience left.
"Shin," I breathe his name, a soft warning. I still need to figure out whether or not Shin's trying to help me in this, or if he's on that bastard's side. I still need to figure out what the hell's going on, and he's not helping one bit.
"Just out of curiousity, Tai, why are you so fixed on this guy you haven't even talked to since your nice little jaunt to that Digital World or whatever you call it? You know perfectly well you could do anything with your life you want, and you're focusing on someone who's close to getting kicked out of school, who's indifferent to the world and everyone in it, and who just happens to be going out with the most popular guy in school--after you that is."
I'm popular? Wait a sec... "How do you know I haven't talked to him since the Digital World? And how do you know he's getting kicked out of school?" No... don't let Yama be leaving... I'll probably never find him again... Why should it matter? It's not like it'd matter to him if I got kicked out tomorrow! But... it does. So, so much.
Not like it matters to him.
Shin smiles one of those genki smiles, the ones that only add to my frustration right now because they won't come to my face any longer, I have to work hard to find them within me. "Easy, Taichi! I'm his half-brother!"
Now that I'm going to have to think about for a while. Takeru is Yama's brother... but then... why didn't I ever hear about Shin? It doesn't make sense! Even if I might not be the smartest person in the world, I don't think even Koushirou would get it!!
Then again, I'm not so sure I want to.
"Oh, don't worry, he doesn't know about me, so he wasn't deliberately hiding anything from you, Taichi." Another genki smile, so unsettling with his eyes so different from his normal ones. "But I know all about him." Those blue, blue eyes stare back at me, darkening slightly as he whispers, "And I'm worried about my Niisan."
"W-wait a sec!!!" I manage, shaking my head in disbelief. "How can you be Yama's half-brother?! It doesn't make any sense!"
"Easy," Shin shrugs a little indifferently, making him remind me even more of Yama. "My father, Masaheru, wasn't faithful to his wife, Yamato and Takeru's mother, Natsuko. He went out when she was in labor in the hospital with Yamato, had sex with this whore who happened to look something like his wife, and then she had me in the usual fashion nine months later." Why didn't I notice those shadows in his eyes before? Those dark, dark shadows, pulling me down and drowning me inside of him, abruptly releasing me only to drag me down again. "My mother hated the sight of me, and deserted me when I was three. I grew up on the streets, dodging gangs and pimps, and got into this school purely by luck. I've been following what my brothers have been doing all these years, hoping I'd get to meet them sometime. And now I'm worried about Niisan."
This is too much information... I need to sit down... wait, I AM sitting down... I need to do something... find Yama... do something... stop those shadows in Shin's eyes, the same way I need to piece together those shattered shards of Yama's eyes... find a way to kill Kyousuke without shattering Yama more... find a way to kill whoever put these shadows in Shin's eyes without adding more... stop this stupid protectiveness about blondes with beautiful eyes...
I don't really want to delve too deeply into this.
"Niisan's boyfriend's not a very nice person, Taichi." Those shadows... Where Yama's eyes are shattered sapphires, Shin's are a clouded azure sky... "I've met him before, but not here at school. Somewhere else, at a different time."
"When? Where?" I have to ask, I don't know why. And I immediately regret asking when I see the pain and something else flash through Shin's eyes. Especially when I realize that something else is shame. Pure, undiluted shame.
And a touch of it darts through me when I realizes I'm part of the cause.
"Does it matter, Taichi?" A sweet, soft voice, aching with sadness and full of gentleness at the same time. "Let's just say Harukawa-san doesn't treat other people very well. Especially if he decides that they're going to be his. He's very good at keeping people like Niisan tied to him without a way to get out, especially if they need one."
"Well, what the fuck do you want me to do about it?!" I shout at him.
"Niisan will listen to you." That clouded sky's full of ice now, freezing me, holding me, dulling my anger and letting me feel the harsh throb of regret for my yelling. Damnit, I never think before I do anything, but I don't usually feel this sting either...
"He won't even come NEAR me. He HATES me." I didn't even know I thought those things. And here I am, telling them to Shin.
Great. Just GREAT.
"You're a threat to Kyou's claim on him." Those eyes, so closed now, sealed away from me even as he stares inside... what did I do wrong this time? "But I can distract Kyousuke this evening, if you're willing to go find Yamato."
I don't like the way he said distract. I really don't.
"Where would he be?" I find myself compelled to ask.
Shin shrugs, then seems to consider it for a moment. "Try looking around the lower district of town. I've seen him around there sometimes at night." And I want to know more about Shin. "I'll keep Kyousuke busy from six till around midnight, ok?"
I don't really want to know the answer to the question but I feel compelled to ask, "What're you gonna do for six hours?"
Ok, I didn't expect him to reply, but to see his eyes so devastated for a moment before that genki grin pops up again breaks my heart into a thousand pieces. He's so much like a sweeter version of Yamato, like a child almost. A fragile, delicate child. Not like Takeru, but not like Yamato either, but arousing that same protectiveness I feel towards the two brothers. I think it's their eyes. Their oh-so-beautiful deep blue eyes and their smiles. "Oh, don't worry about that, Taichi! Just take care of Yamato for me, ok? I'll keep Kyousuke away."
... Did I mention I hate feeling helpless? I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL SHIN'S PLANNING. I'm the Captain of his team. He has to listen to me. Right? "What's going on, Shin?"
"Nandemonai, Taichi-kun!" he replies with a smile, the shadows disappearing from his eyes with such speed I have to envy him. He's really good at that.
But I also have to wonder what might have caused those shadows. What he's hiding from me.
"So... six o'clock, I go looking for Yama?" I try, wanting Shin to tell me more. He's Yama's half brother. I want to find out as much about him as possible. After all... I guess... I sorta... kinda... like Yama... As a friend, of course... and... maybe... just maybe... something more than that...
"Yup!" he grins, bouncing over to get water. "C'mon! Time to go back out there and show your face, oh great Captain!"
"Shin!" I call after him, watching him disappear. When he doesn't stop, I silently add, "Thank you..."
All right, Minna, I need your opinion... should I go into Shin's thoughts or not? Because I could, but then again... and I know where this story is going, so don't worry, I'll finish this one. *grin* Hope you like what I did with his chara... and if you didn't quite get what I was hinting at for Shin, that might be a good thing... and if you did, I'm sorry! Really! Ok, so not really, but... Can I say 45 reviews? Please? 45? Arigatou!!!