Emptiness Well, readers, I'm so sorry this took over a month to create and post. School's hell, in case you haven't noticed, and now on break, I've had so little time to do anything! For the past week I've been going to bed past midnight and it's vacation! Well, enough of my whining, here we go. I should need just one or two more chapters to tie this thing together, so please bear with me for just a little longer. I swear I'll try to finish it by my B-Day, March 2! Tai took a deep breath. He knew how much he was risking by asking Yama. Hell, it was hard enough waiting for this long. This would either make or break anything between them, and Tai wasn't quite ready to let it go yet. He wanted to take the question back, now that it had been spoken. He wanted to say that he didn't need an answer, but he didn't want to lie to Yama either. And so it came to this. This waiting, a circle of time that wouldn't end until an answer shot it down. A frustrating ocean that couldn't be crossed alone. "How can I make you understand?" the soft whisper shook Tai out of his thoughts, dragging him back to the stunning youth beside him. "Understand what?" Yama shook his head slowly, not looking at Tai, eyes concentrating on some far off landmark. "Understand why I stay with him." Tai mentally screamed, Tell me! Just MAKE me understand, damnit! Tell me why you're putting yourself through all this, why such a strong, beautiful person like you is staying with such a bastard! Tell me why the person I. love?. is doing this. Yama was several steps ahead of him by the time Tai looked up again, and he chased after him with full speed, wanting, needing an answer. Grabbing his arm and forcing Yamato to meet his eyes, he growled, "MAKE me understand, Yamato." "Why do you want to know?" Cold eyes, so cold, so full of that old challenge they'd held when Tai and Yama had fought that time in the Digital World. Icy hostility, dark anger shaping the gaze, the defensive glare Yamato seemed to hold as his own. "What difference is it going to make if I tell you why I stay with him, Taichi? Why are you even bothering to ask?" There were so many answers Tai could think of. And he couldn't put voice to a single one. Because I care! Because I worry! "Because I love you! Because I don't want to see such a strong, wonderful person put themselves through this shit that they don't--" Too late, Tai realized he was speaking aloud. The two girls linked hands as they crept out of their apartment. "Both of them are going to skin us alive for doing this, I hope you know that," the taller of the pair whispered to her tiny partner in crime. When no response greeted her, she sighed. She should have known better than to expect any encouragement from the child beside her. This had all been her idea. "Where are we going again, Ai-chan?" she whispered to the tiny girl. "To where Shin-niisan is." That voice, so hauntingly beautiful, so filled with a mixture of sweet, childlike innocence, but touched with ancient knowledge no one could ever fully possess. A voice of an Angel who brought babes to Heaven's gates, the voice of a Demon who lured others to their doom. "Where is he?" "Do you have to ask so many questions, Nozomi-neesan?" Ai smiled, her honey- golden eyes sparkling in the streetlights as they walked. "Trust me." Trust. such an easy word to say, such an easy vow to break. But knowing Ai, that was the only response Nozomi was going to get out of her. "If you say so, Ai-chan," she sighed, wishing once again that An had stayed home to keep an eye on the little girl. Then again, Ai never listened to An either. Curls of shining silver framed Ai's cherubic face, golden eyes creating a taunting mystery of who she truly was. Surely not just the misbegotten child of some whore the way they thought. But she had been wandering alone on the streets--well, not wandering, but looking for them. Knowing they would keep her safe, a toddler had found her way to Nozomi, An, and Shin, grasping An's hand so tightly, they wondered if she'd ever let go again. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" Nozomi asked. "Yes." Someday, Nozomi vowed she'd find a way to surprise that little girl. An fought tears as he ran towards the upper side. This was no time for that. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. He wanted to do something, ANYTHING. but there was nothing he COULD do. Shin would have to take care of himself for now. An had other responsibilities, starting with taking care of the girls and Koushirou. Since the girls could take care of themselves, he was crossing the borders to do something he'd sworn he'd never do again. Beg his parents. He tried to stave away the memories of his lonely existence in the giant mansions they'd owned. Tutored by prestigious scholars from around the globe, he'd grown up isolated from the world. His parents were hardly around, and when they were, all they did was criticize his progress and yell at one another, and at him. He couldn't think of those times now. They couldn't touch him, he was strong enough to walk away. But they were his only hope for saving Koushirou. That miracle maker. he was out of the country, saving some prince or king or president of a far off country, gaining more fame and glory. But he was needed here now. And the only way he'd come back is if he had a ticket waiting for him--which was what An had to provide. Even then. it was questionable whether or not Koushirou would accept the help. But what else could he do? He knocked softly on the immense door before him, praying that his parents were in for some strange reason. "Yes?" a servant's voice drifted out, soft and unsure. An remembered her, one of the kind women who'd looked out for him, the ones who had made his existence bearable enough to stay alive--and the one who had helped him escape. She had been brought to work for them when An was nine, and ever since, they had been close because of the bond they shared. She was also alone, a foreigner by the name of Elizabeth, with carmel-brown locks and eyes as violet as the sunset sky. "Lizzie?" he whispered, slipping into the childish nickname he'd given her so easily. He heard a sharp gasp from the inside, and the door was thrown open so quickly. Arms enveloped him before either could think, and he could only hold onto her and fight more tears. "Oh, Anshin." she murmured, holding him close before suddenly letting him go and blushing furiously. Even though she was nearly thirty now, she still held the charm and personality of a young girl. "What are you doing back here? I thought you were gone for good," she smiled, not able to control her happiness at seeing him once again. "I need to ask my parents for a favor." Her face immediately darkened and became worried. "Anshin. are you sure? They aren't happy that you ran off, you know." "I know," he whispered, praying this was the right thing. "But a friend of mine's in big trouble, and they're the only people I can think of that could help." "Money then?" she asked, her voice sweet as honey on his ears, the friendly voice from his past come to life again. "Yeah." "How much?" Koushirou stared at the empty room before him and shook his head. An was going to kill someone. Ai and Nozomi weren't in their beds where they should be--in fact, they weren't in the entire building. Koushirou should know, this was the last place he'd checked--and they weren't there. But that left only one explanation. They'd left because of something that was happening to either An or Shin. Since An was safe--as far as Koushirou knew--it had to be because of Shin. Which meant it was because of Kyou--and indirectly because of Taichi. Koushirou groaned. Could things get any worse? Ai was a smart, beautiful child, but she was still that--a child. He suspected sometimes she forgot that, and that would be her downfall if she had one. Her body was a tiny, vulnerable child, even though her mind could duel with the greatest scholars Koushirou had ever studied. And Nozomi. she was stronger than Ai, and would try to protect her, but she was far too naïve for her own good. She would end up brought down by her belief that everyone had good inside them. Well, he couldn't really complain. It had been that good spirit that had led them to find Koushirou. Even so. it wasn't a safe thing to have when living on the streets. She would've ended up consumed by the anger and resentment darkening all who lived here--except that she had been found by two people who genuinely cared about her wellbeing. Had she been less lucky. Koushirou didn't even want to consider the dangers a young, trusting girl on her own on the streets could face. And yet, she wasn't here, and he was supposed to be watching them now. Koushirou sighed. There was nothing he could do now, anyway. All that was really left for him was the fact that there was still a chance he could live-- If he trusted An enough. If he trusted himself enough. But to go up to the upper side. to see this 'miracle-worker'. to see Jyou, the miracle-worker. No, Koushirou wasn't sure he could face that. But didn't he have to? Shin struggled to run, to find something to kill himself with, eyes filling with tears and fear. Kyou's laughter followed him, and Shin tried to keep from falling to the ground in defeat. There was no exit. There wasn't even the ability to disappear and kill himself to save everyone else. There was nothing left. Tears began to fall from his eyes. Damnit. he couldn't even save the people who mattered to him the most. He couldn't save them by destroying himself so they wouldn't bother to come and fall against Kyou. But. Kyou was human, wasn't he? And all humans had weaknesses. but what was Kyou's? That was the question. but. Yama stared. What else could he do? There was nothing he could say or do that would confirm or deny what Tai had just said. If he asked Tai, it would only appear stupid and insignificant. If he stayed silent for much longer, Tai would disappear out of his life again, and the bright spot that he brought to Yama's miserable existence would vanish. But Kyou. Why was he with Kyou? Yama suddenly realized that the only reason holding him back, holding him to Kyou was a fear. "Taichi?" he asked softly. Tai didn't meet his eyes, keeping them trained on the ground, but his hand not letting go of Yama's arm. Yama knew that within mere moments Tai would remember and pull away, and he knew he had to stop him. "Do you still want an answer?" he whispered in what he hoped was a calm, even tone. A shaky nod was the only confirmation he needed. "Kyou says he loves me--no, let me finish," Yama put in as he saw Taichi's head jerk up, eyes filled with disbelief and his expression so deeply upset. "Let me tell you a story, Taichi--one I've wanted to tell you for a while." He fought the urge to break away from the contact they had, scared of something he couldn't place. Yama knew Tai needed that comfort at the moment. He'd need it more as soon as he heard this. "When Kyou asked me out. I didn't know what to do. Did I love him? No. But I felt I knew that the person I liked--loved, maybe--would never love me. Never even look twice at me. What was I supposed to do? On one hand, I had security, and a place in school society I'd never even been close to-- or I could hold onto this dream I had of this person who could never feel the same. "What sort of decision is that? I held onto the dream. "But then. that person. they got involved with someone. And. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have anyone to turn to, I'd burned all my bridges a long time ago. But Kyou was there. He offered me a chance with him again. My dream was already shattered. so I accepted. "He says he loves me--I know what you're going to say, I've heard it before, so let me finish, Taichi. He's. not as bad as people seem to think. I'm not saying he's the best person in the world either, but. he loves me, and he takes care of me. He was the only one there for me when I needed someone most. He's given me everything I have right now--and he's stood by me through everything. Even though... even if I had another chance, I don't know if I could take it. Can you understand that?" Yamato asked finally, barely daring to breathe. Tai was silent for a long minute. "And that's it?" he finally asked. Yamato nodded. "And that's it?" Tai asked, almost incredulously. At Yamato's nod, he laughed bitterly. "So, that's it then. That's the entire reason you're staying with that guy? That's the reason?" He was laughing, tears were running down his cheeks, and he knew if he looked up at Yamato again, he would crack. Or maybe he already had. Who knew? For all Taichi knew, this could be a dream and he'd wake up in a second. Or not. "Well then, Yama, let me tell you my story." ---------------------- Cliffhanger? Perhaps.