Frigid
I say I'm a fool and so I am, and only an idiot would argue the point. It's self event.
But I had thought I was a better judge of character than to choose my associates and friends so poorly that one I held close would wanted me dead, that I would trust a liar who would lay hands on Frost.
But I get ahead of myself.
The land surrounding the Son estate was glorious, as I have said, and I suppose I over exerted myself. But I hadn't thought...
It came upon me while I was walking up a gentle slope, just a small hill a few kilometers from Son Goku's home, pain that had never before held so tightly or so painfully or so completely. Pain like that, one can tell, will never go away. And though I won't be dead for nearly another two hours, it seems briefly that my soul is already disembodied, looking down at myself with a cold bitter eye:
The Lady Frigid, worthless, ditsy brained, contradictory little idiot she is, grasps her throat. She drops, her pale whither tail flapping like there's anything she can do about it. Her brain, which is just twisted enough to keep herself in eternal torture, but not badly enough to permit such behavior towards others, understands what this all means, but is still incapable of deciding whether or not it's a good thing.
Though she's told herself she wouldn't, that she'd hold very still and at least retain some of her dignity in death, as her lost love had, she's flapping around like a fish out of water. Her sunken black eyes dart about, looking for something to cling to, some help. The pain's terrific, magnified so many times by pointless terror, but what the contradictory little coward is really scared of is dying here alone on the grass and disturbed earth her struggles have torn up. But she hurt her most loyal servant and sent her away, and her needy heart can't guess where the second has gone.
But look! Here's Uragiru, coming down the hill leisurely, turquoise bangs bouncing. And at first the Lady Frigid is glad, but then she sees something wrong, something dangerous on Uragiru's face that even the naïve fool can't misinterpret; is her servant smiling, while her strength ebbs away so that she can't even move, is Uragiru grinning thinly, laughing a nervous laugh, even as she stands over the Icejin? She couldn't be -- it's unthinkable -- but that's what the Lady Frigid is seeing, and were she capable of movement at this point, she wouldn't know what to do about it.
Then the sense of distance broke and I'm back within myself, staring wide eyed up at Uragiru, mind foggy and throat screaming silent, inarticulatable pain. Very still now. My body and limbs refuse to react to my commands, and my arms fall unresponsive from my throat. But I'm still here, seeing and hearing for an endless time; Icejin bodies never allow dying to be an easy thing.
"My, my," she says, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes automatically while she looks down at me. Helpless terror is not appropriate for an Icejin, and blind anger is not befitting me. "The Lady Frigid is finally dying, hmm?" She bit her lower lip, looking over her shoulder and back to me quickly to make sure I haven't moved, and then, all nervousness melting away. "Well, I'm glad." She tossed her head back and smiled at me as though we were having a pleasant conversion. Then her face went into flux again, became angry, eyes fierce. I've never seen her like this before.
"I helped Frost along, you know. You were a fool to turn your back, to trust me with that hypocrite for even a moment. I couldn't stand to hear such preaching and whining on morals and freedom and peace coming from an Icejin, and my planet gone and my family dead at the hands of you people." Frost never whined in his life, and he had nothing to do with the destruction of her planet -- he couldn't have if he's wanted to -- it was Furiza... or maybe Kola. I can't remember. That was at least fifteen years ago. Has she been binding her time that long, pretending to be loyal and satisfied in her station, only to take our trust and turn it against Frost when he was helpless? I want her dead; I want to kill her myself and do it slowly. "But I think you'll have done yourself in within the hour, so I won't dirty my hands with it."
I force one gasp of air into my lungs with everything I have, and something inside tears and rips and bleeds, and doesn't stop bleeding. But I'd gotten the small breath, and I raise my hand, reaching for her throat that seems so far away. She slaps it away. "Don't make a habit of that, now.
"I hate you. Everything I loved is gone and dead. And I know what you're thinking -- your so obvious it's sad -- and it doesn't matter whether it was you or your brother or any other Icejin. You're guilty by association and because you let him. Then you drag us out to this rock to win you and the Inujin an easy death without a thought for me, all that's left of my race. I know you don't care, but the Saiyajin killed Zarbon, the only other, and I hate them too. I'm not strong enough to do anything about Son and the other Saiyajin and the half-breeds, but given enough time, we'll see.
"I'm not stupid like you; I can wait and I can think things out. What I'll do about Aiken, for example. She can't help being Inujin, but she's loyal to you and so I can't have her here. Most likely she'd die on her own, but the way she's hanging on Son already there's a small chance she'd turn her affections to him when your dead. It will be faster this way, and I won't have to bother with her; it's a remarkably cruel thing that you haven't put her out of her misery already, when you knew so clearly you were dying. But then you're very selfish, aren't you?
"As I said, I've thought ahead; I'll simply tell Son you became angry with the Inujin, and so killed her, and shortly afterward succumb to one of your little fits, and thus too died." For a second, her face looks honestly grief stricken, showing me what she'll show Son Goku, then she's vicious again. It's ridiculous, but I think the most remarkable thing about all this, to me, is that she's capable of saying so much at one time when she's always been so quiet. "And he's foolish enough to believe it, too. A man as simple as he is easily manipulated." If she thinks the Super Saiyajin is corruptible she's a greater fool than I. Son Goku's not stupid and he'll see right through her.
But Aiken... I have to keep her safe...
I'm fading...
And so I died.
I say I'm a fool and so I am, and only an idiot would argue the point. It's self event.
But I had thought I was a better judge of character than to choose my associates and friends so poorly that one I held close would wanted me dead, that I would trust a liar who would lay hands on Frost.
But I get ahead of myself.
The land surrounding the Son estate was glorious, as I have said, and I suppose I over exerted myself. But I hadn't thought...
It came upon me while I was walking up a gentle slope, just a small hill a few kilometers from Son Goku's home, pain that had never before held so tightly or so painfully or so completely. Pain like that, one can tell, will never go away. And though I won't be dead for nearly another two hours, it seems briefly that my soul is already disembodied, looking down at myself with a cold bitter eye:
The Lady Frigid, worthless, ditsy brained, contradictory little idiot she is, grasps her throat. She drops, her pale whither tail flapping like there's anything she can do about it. Her brain, which is just twisted enough to keep herself in eternal torture, but not badly enough to permit such behavior towards others, understands what this all means, but is still incapable of deciding whether or not it's a good thing.
Though she's told herself she wouldn't, that she'd hold very still and at least retain some of her dignity in death, as her lost love had, she's flapping around like a fish out of water. Her sunken black eyes dart about, looking for something to cling to, some help. The pain's terrific, magnified so many times by pointless terror, but what the contradictory little coward is really scared of is dying here alone on the grass and disturbed earth her struggles have torn up. But she hurt her most loyal servant and sent her away, and her needy heart can't guess where the second has gone.
But look! Here's Uragiru, coming down the hill leisurely, turquoise bangs bouncing. And at first the Lady Frigid is glad, but then she sees something wrong, something dangerous on Uragiru's face that even the naïve fool can't misinterpret; is her servant smiling, while her strength ebbs away so that she can't even move, is Uragiru grinning thinly, laughing a nervous laugh, even as she stands over the Icejin? She couldn't be -- it's unthinkable -- but that's what the Lady Frigid is seeing, and were she capable of movement at this point, she wouldn't know what to do about it.
Then the sense of distance broke and I'm back within myself, staring wide eyed up at Uragiru, mind foggy and throat screaming silent, inarticulatable pain. Very still now. My body and limbs refuse to react to my commands, and my arms fall unresponsive from my throat. But I'm still here, seeing and hearing for an endless time; Icejin bodies never allow dying to be an easy thing.
"My, my," she says, brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes automatically while she looks down at me. Helpless terror is not appropriate for an Icejin, and blind anger is not befitting me. "The Lady Frigid is finally dying, hmm?" She bit her lower lip, looking over her shoulder and back to me quickly to make sure I haven't moved, and then, all nervousness melting away. "Well, I'm glad." She tossed her head back and smiled at me as though we were having a pleasant conversion. Then her face went into flux again, became angry, eyes fierce. I've never seen her like this before.
"I helped Frost along, you know. You were a fool to turn your back, to trust me with that hypocrite for even a moment. I couldn't stand to hear such preaching and whining on morals and freedom and peace coming from an Icejin, and my planet gone and my family dead at the hands of you people." Frost never whined in his life, and he had nothing to do with the destruction of her planet -- he couldn't have if he's wanted to -- it was Furiza... or maybe Kola. I can't remember. That was at least fifteen years ago. Has she been binding her time that long, pretending to be loyal and satisfied in her station, only to take our trust and turn it against Frost when he was helpless? I want her dead; I want to kill her myself and do it slowly. "But I think you'll have done yourself in within the hour, so I won't dirty my hands with it."
I force one gasp of air into my lungs with everything I have, and something inside tears and rips and bleeds, and doesn't stop bleeding. But I'd gotten the small breath, and I raise my hand, reaching for her throat that seems so far away. She slaps it away. "Don't make a habit of that, now.
"I hate you. Everything I loved is gone and dead. And I know what you're thinking -- your so obvious it's sad -- and it doesn't matter whether it was you or your brother or any other Icejin. You're guilty by association and because you let him. Then you drag us out to this rock to win you and the Inujin an easy death without a thought for me, all that's left of my race. I know you don't care, but the Saiyajin killed Zarbon, the only other, and I hate them too. I'm not strong enough to do anything about Son and the other Saiyajin and the half-breeds, but given enough time, we'll see.
"I'm not stupid like you; I can wait and I can think things out. What I'll do about Aiken, for example. She can't help being Inujin, but she's loyal to you and so I can't have her here. Most likely she'd die on her own, but the way she's hanging on Son already there's a small chance she'd turn her affections to him when your dead. It will be faster this way, and I won't have to bother with her; it's a remarkably cruel thing that you haven't put her out of her misery already, when you knew so clearly you were dying. But then you're very selfish, aren't you?
"As I said, I've thought ahead; I'll simply tell Son you became angry with the Inujin, and so killed her, and shortly afterward succumb to one of your little fits, and thus too died." For a second, her face looks honestly grief stricken, showing me what she'll show Son Goku, then she's vicious again. It's ridiculous, but I think the most remarkable thing about all this, to me, is that she's capable of saying so much at one time when she's always been so quiet. "And he's foolish enough to believe it, too. A man as simple as he is easily manipulated." If she thinks the Super Saiyajin is corruptible she's a greater fool than I. Son Goku's not stupid and he'll see right through her.
But Aiken... I have to keep her safe...
I'm fading...
And so I died.