Author's Note: I'm back. I was at a friends all weekend. I saw Signs. It
was goooood and scary. We scared people and we cracked jokes. "ZIM RUNS
FREE!" The aliens looked like nekkid Irkens yo. Anyway. ON with the STORY!
Now here's the part where I get good and evil on Dib. He is fun to get good
and evil on. Yep..heh heh.
"GIR! GIR! I can't find her! I can't find Wazat! Where could she be?! The Tallest are gonna call in any minute! I can't let them know I lost Wazat!!"
"YOU LOST WAZAT?!" Tallest Purple yelled at Zim through the monitor.
Zim turned around. "NO my Tallest, she's just hiding somewhere. Don't worry she'll turn up soon."
"Lemme call her, since I'm practically her daddy and all"
"NO WAY! YOU ALWAYS DO! IT'S MY TURN!!!" Red screamed from offscreen, he pushed his way into view. Purple sulked. "WAZAT! WAZAT?!" They waited..and waited...and waited. Purple was miffed. "YOU KILLED HER DIDN'T YOU?! JUST SHOT HER WITH YOUR LASER? HUH? HUH?" Zim was taken aback. "OF COURSE NOT my Tallest!!!! She must have been stolen!!" Zim hoped that would get Purple of his case. He was wrong. Red glared at him. "You're duty is to look out for Wazat!!! You failed us! Now we'll never get to see you get eaten-er succeed!!!"
Purple glared twice as harder than Red, "We're sending somebody to kill you if you don't get Wazat back in 2 days. And don't think we're lying. Seeth!" A black eyed Irken in an all black spy uniiform walked into the picture. "Yes my Tallest?"
"Make sure that if Zim doesn't show us Wazat in 2 days, you'll go to Earth and use that blade of yours on him"
Seeth saluted. "Yes sir," He slid a long crooked dagger into his jacket. "I'll be sure of it" Purple turned back to Zim, grinning evilly at the pale expression on Zim's face. "Bye"
The screen went blank. "GIR!" Zim cried.
GIR ran into the room. "Yes my LORD?" He turned red. "We need to spread and search and find the filthy scum that took Wazat!"
GIR turned green again "YAAY! TREASURE HUNT!"
Dib dropped the sack on the floor of his room and Wazat crawled out. She blinked a few times and realized who she was with. With a hiss, she sprang into the air at Dib's throat, but something stopped her and she fell to the ground, Dib laughed.
"Force field collar, to keep you from getting close enough near me to rip me apart." Wazat tried a few more times to jump on top of Dib, but each failed. Finally she gave up and sat on the floor and whimpered. All this time Dib was going through a box of scalpels, probes, etc. Autopsy tools. "Sure, I may not have Zim. But I DO have an alien." He pulled out a particularly nasty looking scalpel and set it on his desk, next to a computer. He turned it on and accessed the Swollen Eyeball network. Soon a shadowy figure appeared on the screen, this one a woman.
"What is it Agent Mothman?" the figure asked in a computer altered voice, sounding like a slurred Chinese.
"Agent Venusian, I have captured an alien for autopsy," Dib replied, moving aside so the figure could get a glimpse at the glaring Wazat. The figure seemed to be interested in this. "Very well, I'll be over tomorrow to get a better look at it and see if an autopsy is in order. It doesn't seem very threatening." "Oh it's a killer, I just have it in a force field collar of my dad's"
"If you say so, Agent Venusian out." The screen went blank. Dib got out of the chair and turned back to Wazat. "If I'm lucky, I might have two aliens. Zim is BOUND to fall for this."
"Well! What did you do with her? TELL MEEE! TELL ME!!"
"I swear, I have no clue what you are talking about sir!" Zim looked up from the face of the terrified teenager. He still had hold of his collar of his uniform. As soon as Zim and GIR left the house, GIR ran off to Bloaty's, insisting that he needed pizza before they looked for Wazat. Zim followed, determined to find some sort of clue to where Wazat was taken. He figured he'd better start here while he was there. He turned back to teenager. "WHERE IS WAZAT YOU VILE STINK MONKEY?!" He spat on the boys face as he spoke.
"Here! Take my money!" The boy cried, pulling a wad of cash out of his pocket and thrusting it into Zim's face. Zim slapped the money away. "I want none of your money filth worm! I want Wazat! Tell me!" "I don't know any Wazat, please don't hurt me!"
"AHA!!!!! So you know her name, so you must have her! GIMME!"
"I don't have her, you told me her name!"
"SILENCE!" At this point Zim was quite frustrated at the teenage boy's incompetence. Zim turned to GIR, who was sitting on a table, with a tube of squeeze mayonaise, trying to squirt the filth onto a pizza that another customer was eating. Gaz. Zim dropped the teenager. Of course! How could he have been so stupid. DIB! Dib must have stolen Wazat, it made perfect sense, nobody else had really seen her up close, well..except for those 25 humans..but they never lived to tell.Zim walked up to Gaz, who was at the point of pulling a Nny on GIR.
"I want mayo!"
"Get off the table." "MAYO!" "Why don't you get your own pizza?!"
"But...*sniff* the mayo!!!!!!!!" Gaz's eye twitched, Zim saw her reach into her pocket.Even though Zim didn't know Gaz very well, he knew whatever she was going to use on GIR, would definitely NOT be something that tickled. Zim grabbed GIR and stepped onto his head, pinning the robot to the ground. Zim leaned on the table. Gaz opened one eye.
"Stop trying to hit on me, Zim."
Zim stopped leaning and cleared his throat, "I'm looking for a lost.erm.pet. Do you have any clue to where I may find her? If I don't, I'll have my head torn off!" Gaz smirked, "Actually, that would be kinda cool."
"No! It's not "cool".TeLL ME WHERE WAZAT IS!" Zim had Gaz on the table, pinning her arms down with his hands. Gaz's eyes narrowed and she kicked Zim hard in the squeedlyspootch. He fell off the table and doubled up on the floor, his eyes watering. Gaz got out of the table and stood next to Zim.
"Can't I even go anywhere without you following me?! I mean it's bad enough at home now with Dib ranting on and on about how he's finally captured an alien and I can't even go to Bloaty's without you pouncing on me. You perverted sicko." And with that, she kicked Zim in the head and walked out the door. Gir jumped up and tried to follow her, but the sliding glass doors slammed into his head as he tried to get through the door.
"SHE LIKES ME!!!!" Zim got up, his voice unusually high and weak, "That's it. Wazat must be at Dib's house. We've got to get her back GIR! Come on!" Zim hobbled out the door, still clutching his stomach, GIR followed.
"Hey masta, you sound funny! Like that one time that ball hit Dib in the-"
"COME ON GIR!"
Dib sat on his bed, studying Wazat and taking notes. He was becoming quite bored with her, all she had been doing for the past few hours was laying there on Dib's floor, whimpering. Once or twice Dib considered taking off the force field collar around Wazat's throat to get a little excitement going. He stopped himself though, when he almost lost his hand when Wazat snapped at it. He sighed and shifted slightly to the front, to get a better view of Wazat's face to draw a quick sketch, he wanted to have a few notes about the Irken before he and the Swollen Eyeballs autopsied her. Wazat didn't even bother looking up at Dib, she was so miserable and tired. She was dying of hunger, and she couldn't kill Dib because of the collar around her neck. She just sighed and curled up, trying to ignore the fact that her supposed dinner was staring at her, intently. At least when she was with Zim, he had humans to give her when she was hungry. Cloned, frozen humans, when he had figured out that she wouldn't eat anything else. Dib noticed this. "Good that you're hungry, that means that you won't have enough energy to do anything when we take off that collar tomorrow." He grinned a nasty grin. He hoped he was provoking Wazat, he really wanted something to happen. In fact he wanted something to happen so bad he grabbed a broom and started poking her. Wazat couldn't stand this and shakily got up onto 4 feet (that's just the way she walks and stands now). She put her antennae back and hissed. Dib smiled, glad something happened, and poked her some more. Wazat's red eyes narrowed into slits and she crouched, prepared to spring at Dib, despite the fact that she would inevitably be stopped by the horrible force field collar. She growled a low growl, as if telling Dib 'poke me one more time and I swear I will rip your windpipe out.' Dib heard this and lifted the broom handle to prod Wazat one more time.
"YEOWCH!" Dib fell to the ground, stunned for a few seconds while Zim climbed through his window. Wazat's lifted her antennae, happy to see Zim, after so long. Zim was appalled to see the condition that Wazat was in, miserable, her antennae drooped limply, instead of the normal upright way, and you could see her ribs from not being able to eat anything. He kneeled down next to Wazat and handed her a frozen human finger. Wazat squeaked weakly and took the finger graciously. Dib got up and faced Zim. "I knew you would come here Zim. You love that horrible monster too much for your own good." He held up a tazer, ready to stun Zim and Wazat. "Any last words before you're thrown onto the table?"
"Yes, and Wazat isn't a horrible monster. She's actually quite a useful ally," Zim said, fingering the collar around Wazat's neck, finding the button that released the mechanism. Wazat felt his hand on the collar and prepared for another attempt at Dib's throat. "Wanna see?!"
Dib's eyes widened in fear as he saw the collar fall away from Wazat as if in slow motion. He dropped the tazer, he would never be fast enough with it to stun a hungry and angry Wazat.
Dunn DUNN DUNNNNN......
"GIR! GIR! I can't find her! I can't find Wazat! Where could she be?! The Tallest are gonna call in any minute! I can't let them know I lost Wazat!!"
"YOU LOST WAZAT?!" Tallest Purple yelled at Zim through the monitor.
Zim turned around. "NO my Tallest, she's just hiding somewhere. Don't worry she'll turn up soon."
"Lemme call her, since I'm practically her daddy and all"
"NO WAY! YOU ALWAYS DO! IT'S MY TURN!!!" Red screamed from offscreen, he pushed his way into view. Purple sulked. "WAZAT! WAZAT?!" They waited..and waited...and waited. Purple was miffed. "YOU KILLED HER DIDN'T YOU?! JUST SHOT HER WITH YOUR LASER? HUH? HUH?" Zim was taken aback. "OF COURSE NOT my Tallest!!!! She must have been stolen!!" Zim hoped that would get Purple of his case. He was wrong. Red glared at him. "You're duty is to look out for Wazat!!! You failed us! Now we'll never get to see you get eaten-er succeed!!!"
Purple glared twice as harder than Red, "We're sending somebody to kill you if you don't get Wazat back in 2 days. And don't think we're lying. Seeth!" A black eyed Irken in an all black spy uniiform walked into the picture. "Yes my Tallest?"
"Make sure that if Zim doesn't show us Wazat in 2 days, you'll go to Earth and use that blade of yours on him"
Seeth saluted. "Yes sir," He slid a long crooked dagger into his jacket. "I'll be sure of it" Purple turned back to Zim, grinning evilly at the pale expression on Zim's face. "Bye"
The screen went blank. "GIR!" Zim cried.
GIR ran into the room. "Yes my LORD?" He turned red. "We need to spread and search and find the filthy scum that took Wazat!"
GIR turned green again "YAAY! TREASURE HUNT!"
Dib dropped the sack on the floor of his room and Wazat crawled out. She blinked a few times and realized who she was with. With a hiss, she sprang into the air at Dib's throat, but something stopped her and she fell to the ground, Dib laughed.
"Force field collar, to keep you from getting close enough near me to rip me apart." Wazat tried a few more times to jump on top of Dib, but each failed. Finally she gave up and sat on the floor and whimpered. All this time Dib was going through a box of scalpels, probes, etc. Autopsy tools. "Sure, I may not have Zim. But I DO have an alien." He pulled out a particularly nasty looking scalpel and set it on his desk, next to a computer. He turned it on and accessed the Swollen Eyeball network. Soon a shadowy figure appeared on the screen, this one a woman.
"What is it Agent Mothman?" the figure asked in a computer altered voice, sounding like a slurred Chinese.
"Agent Venusian, I have captured an alien for autopsy," Dib replied, moving aside so the figure could get a glimpse at the glaring Wazat. The figure seemed to be interested in this. "Very well, I'll be over tomorrow to get a better look at it and see if an autopsy is in order. It doesn't seem very threatening." "Oh it's a killer, I just have it in a force field collar of my dad's"
"If you say so, Agent Venusian out." The screen went blank. Dib got out of the chair and turned back to Wazat. "If I'm lucky, I might have two aliens. Zim is BOUND to fall for this."
"Well! What did you do with her? TELL MEEE! TELL ME!!"
"I swear, I have no clue what you are talking about sir!" Zim looked up from the face of the terrified teenager. He still had hold of his collar of his uniform. As soon as Zim and GIR left the house, GIR ran off to Bloaty's, insisting that he needed pizza before they looked for Wazat. Zim followed, determined to find some sort of clue to where Wazat was taken. He figured he'd better start here while he was there. He turned back to teenager. "WHERE IS WAZAT YOU VILE STINK MONKEY?!" He spat on the boys face as he spoke.
"Here! Take my money!" The boy cried, pulling a wad of cash out of his pocket and thrusting it into Zim's face. Zim slapped the money away. "I want none of your money filth worm! I want Wazat! Tell me!" "I don't know any Wazat, please don't hurt me!"
"AHA!!!!! So you know her name, so you must have her! GIMME!"
"I don't have her, you told me her name!"
"SILENCE!" At this point Zim was quite frustrated at the teenage boy's incompetence. Zim turned to GIR, who was sitting on a table, with a tube of squeeze mayonaise, trying to squirt the filth onto a pizza that another customer was eating. Gaz. Zim dropped the teenager. Of course! How could he have been so stupid. DIB! Dib must have stolen Wazat, it made perfect sense, nobody else had really seen her up close, well..except for those 25 humans..but they never lived to tell.Zim walked up to Gaz, who was at the point of pulling a Nny on GIR.
"I want mayo!"
"Get off the table." "MAYO!" "Why don't you get your own pizza?!"
"But...*sniff* the mayo!!!!!!!!" Gaz's eye twitched, Zim saw her reach into her pocket.Even though Zim didn't know Gaz very well, he knew whatever she was going to use on GIR, would definitely NOT be something that tickled. Zim grabbed GIR and stepped onto his head, pinning the robot to the ground. Zim leaned on the table. Gaz opened one eye.
"Stop trying to hit on me, Zim."
Zim stopped leaning and cleared his throat, "I'm looking for a lost.erm.pet. Do you have any clue to where I may find her? If I don't, I'll have my head torn off!" Gaz smirked, "Actually, that would be kinda cool."
"No! It's not "cool".TeLL ME WHERE WAZAT IS!" Zim had Gaz on the table, pinning her arms down with his hands. Gaz's eyes narrowed and she kicked Zim hard in the squeedlyspootch. He fell off the table and doubled up on the floor, his eyes watering. Gaz got out of the table and stood next to Zim.
"Can't I even go anywhere without you following me?! I mean it's bad enough at home now with Dib ranting on and on about how he's finally captured an alien and I can't even go to Bloaty's without you pouncing on me. You perverted sicko." And with that, she kicked Zim in the head and walked out the door. Gir jumped up and tried to follow her, but the sliding glass doors slammed into his head as he tried to get through the door.
"SHE LIKES ME!!!!" Zim got up, his voice unusually high and weak, "That's it. Wazat must be at Dib's house. We've got to get her back GIR! Come on!" Zim hobbled out the door, still clutching his stomach, GIR followed.
"Hey masta, you sound funny! Like that one time that ball hit Dib in the-"
"COME ON GIR!"
Dib sat on his bed, studying Wazat and taking notes. He was becoming quite bored with her, all she had been doing for the past few hours was laying there on Dib's floor, whimpering. Once or twice Dib considered taking off the force field collar around Wazat's throat to get a little excitement going. He stopped himself though, when he almost lost his hand when Wazat snapped at it. He sighed and shifted slightly to the front, to get a better view of Wazat's face to draw a quick sketch, he wanted to have a few notes about the Irken before he and the Swollen Eyeballs autopsied her. Wazat didn't even bother looking up at Dib, she was so miserable and tired. She was dying of hunger, and she couldn't kill Dib because of the collar around her neck. She just sighed and curled up, trying to ignore the fact that her supposed dinner was staring at her, intently. At least when she was with Zim, he had humans to give her when she was hungry. Cloned, frozen humans, when he had figured out that she wouldn't eat anything else. Dib noticed this. "Good that you're hungry, that means that you won't have enough energy to do anything when we take off that collar tomorrow." He grinned a nasty grin. He hoped he was provoking Wazat, he really wanted something to happen. In fact he wanted something to happen so bad he grabbed a broom and started poking her. Wazat couldn't stand this and shakily got up onto 4 feet (that's just the way she walks and stands now). She put her antennae back and hissed. Dib smiled, glad something happened, and poked her some more. Wazat's red eyes narrowed into slits and she crouched, prepared to spring at Dib, despite the fact that she would inevitably be stopped by the horrible force field collar. She growled a low growl, as if telling Dib 'poke me one more time and I swear I will rip your windpipe out.' Dib heard this and lifted the broom handle to prod Wazat one more time.
"YEOWCH!" Dib fell to the ground, stunned for a few seconds while Zim climbed through his window. Wazat's lifted her antennae, happy to see Zim, after so long. Zim was appalled to see the condition that Wazat was in, miserable, her antennae drooped limply, instead of the normal upright way, and you could see her ribs from not being able to eat anything. He kneeled down next to Wazat and handed her a frozen human finger. Wazat squeaked weakly and took the finger graciously. Dib got up and faced Zim. "I knew you would come here Zim. You love that horrible monster too much for your own good." He held up a tazer, ready to stun Zim and Wazat. "Any last words before you're thrown onto the table?"
"Yes, and Wazat isn't a horrible monster. She's actually quite a useful ally," Zim said, fingering the collar around Wazat's neck, finding the button that released the mechanism. Wazat felt his hand on the collar and prepared for another attempt at Dib's throat. "Wanna see?!"
Dib's eyes widened in fear as he saw the collar fall away from Wazat as if in slow motion. He dropped the tazer, he would never be fast enough with it to stun a hungry and angry Wazat.
Dunn DUNN DUNNNNN......