DISCLAIMER: All Inuyasha characters are the creation of, and © to Rumiko Takahashi, and subsequent parties. Full Circle is the creation of my demented mind, and © to Shun'u Hanashiro 2000-2001.
Author's Notes: Italicized text (or //) can indicate private/unvoiced thoughts – or – flashback sequences. Colons [::] indicate insinuated thoughts by another character into one's subconscious. Be forewarned that all of the events prior to tankouban 14 of the manga are up for grabs in this story.
May 2000
F U L L
An Inuyasha Fanfiction
Part 3: Submerged in
Memories
Pallbearers bore a remarkable resemblance to Jaken, in Sesshoumaru's estimation. They were short of limb, sparse of height, and had large beady eyes set in a face that, even in his most generous mood, would only be called simple. The little guys were rather pathetic, really; coming to collect souls of the dearly departed on a regular basis couldn't have been a very stimulating job. Even so, Sesshoumaru had no qualms about slicing them in half when they came to collect Kagome for the thereafter, wherever that might have been.
He didn't know why he was going through with this, not at all. The girl didn't mean anything to him, and he certainly never bothered to worry about his brother's emotional state before. So why was he doing this? He nearly sighed when no logical answer came to mind, but stopped before the revealing action could pass his lips. Maybe Jaken had it right when he called her a witch.
**********
Inuyasha watched his brother warily. Sesshoumaru wasn't doing anything but staring into empty space, making Inuyasha tense with apprehension. Why is he doing this? It makes no sense. But… I could feel it: his sincerity when he said that he would bring her back. Inuyasha switched his gaze to the girl lying in a pool of her own congealing blood. She was so still, a pale effigy of what she had been. Sesshoumaru, what are you thinking? I wish I could trust you, but I'm only letting you do this because there's… no other choice… my hands are tied.
Naraku's movement caught his attention from the corner of his eye. Inuyasha wanted nothing more than to tear the youkai apart piece-by-piece, and ever so slowly. He wanted to hear Naraku's screams and pleas before he finished the bastard off. And his feelings weren't completely due to his surging youkai blood either. Even his human side wanted to torture the evil demon that had killed Kagome, an innocent girl, in such cold blood. But that would wait. For now Naraku was safe from his vengeance. There were more important matters to attend to.
**********
No. No. NO! This cannot be! Naraku screamed in his head. His voice had somehow deserted him. There is no such thing as bringing a human back to life. Youkai can; humans cannot. That is the natural order of things. Their souls are trapped in their weak bodies, not like Youkai who can keep their souls safely guarded somewhere else. There is no way for Sesshoumaru to bring this human back… can he? What is he?
And the trembling would not stop, damn it! Naraku's hands were trapped in his sleeves, clenched and white knuckled, he was sure. I can't let this happen… Sesshoumaru, you will regret crossing me. We could have been allies against this insolent pup, but you chose to help that damned girl. His hands had finally stopped trembling. With a confident smirk on his face, Naraku lightly tapped the yellow parchment in his shirt, feeling more secure upon reassuring himself that it was still there, and palmed the Shikon no Tama. He was always prepared for anything, even unpleasant surprises such as this.
**********
They had arrived. Sesshoumaru let a faint smile pass his lips as he spotted the little Jaken look-alikes. There were six of them in all; each of them was dressed in funereal robes, and each bore a solemn expression. He didn't particularly care how solemn they felt. Unsheathing Tenseiga from its saya, Sesshoumaru stepped closer to the still girl.
None of the others knew what was happening, for none of them could see the little tikes trying to make off with Kagome's unblemished soul. Sesshoumaru almost told them to stay out of his way when he saw the kitsune open his mouth, but he refrained from speaking when Inuyasha did it for him. He focused on the matter at hand: killing the little spirit guides who were converging on Kagome's still form.
To the others, it looked as though Sesshoumaru was about to cut Kagome up into little pieces -- not a very tantalizing thought. Inuyasha and Miroku finally had to knock Shippou out when he became hysterical on them. In the deathly silence that followed, they watched as Sesshoumaru brought his sword up and across, with his right hand holding the hilt at his left shoulder. Then, in a blinding rush, he sliced through the air, making a whistling sharp sound and cutting through the empty space above Kagome. Whatever he did seemed to satisfy him, for Sesshoumaru nodded once then cleaned off his sword by taking two rapid swings with it: once to the left, then once to the right, as if to flick off blood, and sheathed the weapon. Silence followed. No one knew what to do.
"What just happened?" Miroku asked of no one in particular. His voice sounded drained.
"Sesshoumaru," Inuyasha began only to be cut off by his brother.
"Watch."
All of them had thought that nothing had been done. That is, until the air above Kagome began to shimmer and ripple, and her wound closed as if the flesh were being pushed together by invisible, gentle fingers. It created a red seam on white skin that slowly sealed from the edges inward until nothing remained of the wound at all except for spilt blood. Then her chest began to rise and fall with even breaths. Kagome's eyes blinked open in much the way that Sleeping Beauty must have: drowsy, confused, and unaware of what had taken place in her slumber.
Inuyasha came as close to crying as he ever had in his life. Instead of doing such a "human" thing, he lurched forward on shaky legs and fell besides the befuddled girl to gather her into his arms for a bone-crushing hug. Miroku, whose eyes were suspiciously bright, followed him. Kagome could barely breathe as she was trapped between them. She looked up to ask Sesshoumaru a silent question.
"Naraku killed you," he said.
Memory was slow in returning, but when it did, she stiffened. Naraku had been watching everything unobtrusively, but she immediately locked onto his tall shadowy form. He spoke first.
"Well, well, well, isn't this an interesting turn of events," he commented. Inuyasha and Miroku immediately recognized that crafty tone and released Kagome in order to step in front of her, creating a living wall. "Sesshoumaru, you seem to have been holding out on us."
Sesshoumaru merely flicked imaginary dust off of his white sleeve and arched an eyebrow. He wasn't even remotely curious as to what Naraku wanted to say. The youkai was clever, but he was weak. Without the Shikon no Tama, Naraku wouldn't even have been a worthy foe for his half-brother. Naraku seemed to understand his unspoken disdain, for a flush started and died before Naraku spoke.
"I was wrong to think that you could have been a possible ally, Sesshoumaru," Naraku said. "You only look out for yourself, don't you?"
"What I do does not concern you, Naraku. Don't cross me, and you should live long enough to figure out how to use your little toy."
His implications were not lost on the others; he meant the Shikon no Tama. Inuyasha smirked, for once enjoying his brother's sarcasm now that it wasn't directed at him. Kagome and Miroku were actually the only ones in the clearing who were still wary of Naraku. Both suspected that he had something up his sleeve, and neither relished the thought of finding out what that was.
Naraku practically spit his next words out. "You fucking think you're so much better than everyone else. I'll teach you differently, Sesshoumaru, and then you'll bow to me."
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I bow to no one."
"You'll find out differently," Naraku whispered. "And then it will be too late."
Kagome lurched to her feet behind her would be protectors. Heart hammering in her chest, she yelled, "Watch out! He's using the jewel."
Many things happened simultaneously. Inuyasha and Miroku were on Naraku in seconds. He was oddly docile as they tackled him to the ground. Kagome grabbed her weapons, which had landed not too far away from where she had fallen. Sesshoumaru caught her as the ground shook, making all of them stagger. The mini earthquake made everything within sight distort and shimmer. Only Miroku recognized the signs. He had lived with the curse of the Air Rip for too long not to know what was happening. He shouted a warning to the others.
"He's creating an Air Rip. Get out of the way!"
And they did. But Naraku was not simply creating an Air Rip. He was creating one intended specifically for two people. Inuyasha and Miroku had jumped away from Naraku immediately after Miroku had called out his warning. Sesshoumaru had scooped Kagome up and easily distanced himself from the others, and out of range of the telltale undulating air. But Naraku had anticipated this. The Air Rip had been created exactly where Sesshoumaru landed. Everything else had been a hoax.
"Kuku kuku," he laughed aloud. It was almost a joyous sound: high, clear, and grating. He taunted them. "Too late! Inuyasha, watch as I destroy your loved ones."
Inuyasha was too far away from his brother. He could only watch in disbelief as a black whirlpool opened up beneath Sesshoumaru and sucked him into the abyss, taking Kagome along with him. Naraku was still speaking, now a faint noise in the background. Inuyasha barely heard his words.
"I will return, Inuyasha. And next time, you won't have your brother or that girl to save you."
And then Naraku escaped yet another time.
**********
Sesshoumaru would have sworn had he time for the distraction, but he didn't have that leisure, so he didn't curse. He had fallen for Naraku's trick. Damn the devious bastard. And he had figured it out too late. Sesshoumaru had no excuses for himself. Given, he had witnessed the Air Rip only once before, but he was not like his brother who needed repetition to learn. The simple truth was that he *should* have known; he should have seen it coming from miles away. But he hadn't. Sesshoumaru gave in and swore. He pressed Kagome against his chest to protect her face from sharp churning winds that made their clothes snap, and extended his awareness to get a sense of what was happening to them. He had no intention of dying yet.
The whirlwind that was sucking at them was malignant. Wherever they were headed, it was not going to be a pleasant place. Sesshoumaru was acutely aware of the utter blackness, the void on the other side. It promised peace, but only at the price of mindless insanity. Their bodies would pass through this vortex whole and unharmed, but if they weren't powerful enough to shield their minds during the transition, both he and the girl would be nothing more than empty husks of what they once were. Sesshoumaru grimaced when he felt her hold on him tighten. He would be fine. Kagome would not; she was still unaware of her powers, a babe in the woods and all the more dangerous for her ignorance. However, there was one way that he could protect both of them from her power, though he loathed doing it.
Using Tenseiga on Kagome to revive her had created a metaphysical, yet indisputable, link between their souls. This had happened with Rin as well, thereby causing the child to trust him absolutely despite his initial encouragement otherwise. He had grown used to Rin's attachment. It was nothing that was threatening, more comforting in its unquestioning and simple loyalty than anything else. However, with Kagome and her untapped mysterious powers, there was a definite possibility that she would be able to do things to him that no other human or demon would be able to.
There was no other choice. The vacuum was closing in around them and he could no longer feel sunlight or see trees. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and extended an invisible hand into Kagome, probing around for that silver thread that led to her heart. He found it wound about her left hand, more specifically, around the fourth finger of said hand. Sesshoumaru wrapped his essence around that thread and followed its path into Kagome's mind. There he found her, standing in a sunlit room filled with wild plants and blossoming flowers, where harmless little forest creatures scurried back and forth collecting twigs and nuts. She was dressed in white from head to toe, hair unbound and free, and her ever-changing blue eyes were peaceful. Her spirit was beautiful. He momentarily regretted what he was about to do, but followed through it for both of their sakes. Sesshoumaru reached for small, unresisting, already trusting hands, and pulled her into himself, where he knew she would see his ugly demons. And the vortex closed off all sensation.
**********
"Where am I?"
Kagome immediately thought that was a stupid question the moment she voiced it. She was in a fairly large chamber. Though certainly not big enough to house Sesshoumaru in his true demon form, it gave plenty of room for air to circulate. The one thing that stood out in the plain room was that there weren't any pieces of furniture other than a cabinet against the far wall that looked like one of those special racks that could hold wine bottles without letting them roll. In front of the cabinet were a low table and thickly stuffed, embroidered pillow behind that. Set atop the table was a black lacquered box with gold etching and inset with mother of pearl chips. The pattern was of a crane standing one legged in a still pond, forever captured and never to fly in this lifetime.
The closer Kagome got to the cabinet, the more she could see. There were scrolls set in its compartments and, oddly enough, the scrolls were glowing. Each scroll was a different color, and there was no apparent order to their placement in the cabinet until Kagome was near enough to read small words written on the tips of each roll of parchment. They were dated. Curiosity overcoming caution, Kagome pulled out one of the older ones that pulsed with a dark indigo glow. It was dated sixty-eight years prior to the time she had met Inuyasha. She pulled the twined threads holding the scroll closed… and spread it across the table as she sat. Kagome was surprised when, instead of words, she began to see pictures… in her head… Even more disturbing were the feelings that she experienced first hand. She couldn't stop them from rolling through her mind.
He watched her from the shadows. The human bitch that his
father had married less than two hours ago in a private ceremony was sitting
beneath a tree waiting for his father to finish a meeting with his retainer,
Jaken. She was exactly like he expected her to be: frail, timid, and
preposterously overdressed in too many clashing colors, like a child playing
dress up in her mother's clothes. That was one thing he refused to call her:
Mother. She wasn't his, and she would never be able to fill that role. He
wanted her out of his life, out of *their* lives. If only he could convince his
father of the same.
When his father came out, the great youkai was smiling, and happy to be with his pretty new wife. Sesshoumaru could see this even from his distance. He couldn't take anymore. He left. Behind him, his father raised his head and turned it towards the trees his young son had been hiding in. For a moment sadness overshadowed his marital happiness.
Kagome snapped out of her vision with a gasp. Disoriented and breathing hard, Kagome gripped the edges of the table, and tried to regain her equilibrium.
"These must be Sesshoumaru's journals… but why am I seeing things?" she asked the empty room. "And I felt… his anger…"
Shaking her head, Kagome carefully rolling up the scroll and slid it back into its designated slot. She fingered the cabinet, tracing its pattern of repeated diamonds. Another scroll caught her eye. This one was crimson, and pulsed with a brighter light than any of the others. Temptation sang in her blood, and Kagome could not resist pulling the scroll from its nest. She unrolled it. This time she knew what to expect and the vertigo was not as bad.
He was happy, almost giddy with joy at the thought that his
father was returning from his trip soon. In fact, Sesshoumaru was so hyper that
his mother had sent him outdoors to play instead of having him jump around the
house and possibly knock over one of her precious vases. But being happy alone
was not so appealing to the young youkai, so he returned to his home and sought
out his mother. She was sitting at her desk, painting with her black ink a
picture of mountains and fishermen with interchanging long and short efficient
strokes. Curious about what could keep his mother still for so long,
Sesshoumaru sidled up to her and leaned into her side until she set the brush
down and combed back his waist length hair. He marveled in childish wonder at
how the white sheet he had earlier seen had been transformed into a detailed
landscape.
"What brings you inside to visit Hahaue, Maru-chan?" Her
smile warmed his heart.
"Hahaue, when's Chichiue going to be back?"
He nearly purred when she rubbed his back in smooth circles.
Her scent was so soft and flowery to his sensitive nose, yet not overbearing
like that of his aunts. Sesshoumaru played with her long jet-black hair as he
waited for his answer.
"He will be home tonight. Are you excited?" she asked in her
gentle voice.
"Hai!" He grinned impishly, rich amber eyes sparkling. "I'm
gonna show him my new techniques."
Her dark eyebrow arched. "And you cannot show these
techniques to me?"
"Iie," he adamantly shook his head. "I can't. You're a girl."
His mother's mouth quirked. "And a girl cannot appreciate
your skill?"
Sesshoumaru quickly nodded, glad that his mother understood
without him having to explain. He didn't know if he could have without hurting
her feelings. He never wanted to see his beautiful mother cry. Not wanting her
to continue along this line of questioning, Sesshoumaru deftly changed the
subject. He had learned from his father that "changing the subject" was the
best way of avoiding trouble.
"What are you drawing Hahaue?"
"Painting, Maru-chan," she corrected him. "You see this?" She
pointed at a tiny pot-bellied man carrying a long rod slung over his shoulder.
"He's a fisherman, and he's going to the sea to catch fish."
Sesshoumaru gazed at the funny looking man and wanted to know
why he wanted more fish when he was already so fat. He asked diplomatically,
"Why would he want to catch fish, Hahaue?"
Unnoticed by him, his mother's eyes rolled heaven ward. She
could easily read her son's thoughts. She answered easily, "Because he has a
family back in the village, here." She pointed out a slightly less hilly area
on the painting where Sesshoumaru could see tiny houses dotting rolling,
squared off fields. "The fisherman has to care for his family so he needs to
fish to earn money. His family also eats fish, so if he didn't go out every day
to catch some, then they would starve."
Comprehension was bright in Sesshoumaru's young eyes. "Like
Chichiue does for us. He goes out and hunts youkai who try to invade his lands
to protect us, right Hahaue?"
"That is the general idea," she dryly acceded. "You're a
clever young man, Maru-chan." She praised him to take any sting out of her
previous statement. Her praise elicited the desired effect. Sesshoumaru's
little chest puffed up with pride and he sat taller.
"Chichiue will think so too when he sees my new techniques."
His mother laughed, and Sesshoumaru didn't mind, even if he knew that she was laughing at what he said. She sounded so happy when she laughed like that, with her shoulders shaking and her red lips wide in a smile that made him think that she was even more beautiful. Sesshoumaru snuggled into her lap and hugged his mother around her waist. He was content.
Kagome smiled as she put the scroll back into its slot. Memories of Sesshoumaru were crystal clear in her mind, and she couldn't help but giggle. He had been an adorable child, nothing like the sullen teenager who had been so bitter about his father's remarriage. Her smile faded upon that thought. She could see a pattern now. Red scrolls were happy moments in Sesshoumaru's life and the indigo were bad ones. Sadly, the crimson ones were sorely outnumbered. All of them were only located in the upper left hand corner of the cabinet, taking place during Sesshoumaru's early childhood. After that first indigo scroll, the one that she had read, there were no red ones.
With nervous fingers, Kagome reached out and slipped a golden scroll from its niche…
He was close, Sesshoumaru thought, as he leaped from tree to
tree. The prey was just there, just out of his reach, and he would find it
soon. After this kill he would be stronger. Perhaps as strong as his father…
and then he would get the acknowledgement that was due him.
Frowning at the sour memories his thoughts evoked,
Sesshoumaru quickly dismissed them and focused on the kill. He was hunting a
youkai, said to be the most powerful one this far north of Edo. Torama was what
it was called, and he suspected that the name fit its master.
A short while later, he found Torama's lair, which turned out
to be nothing more glamorous than a cave set deep within a small mountain. It
was almost too easy, finding the demon's resting place, but he had never been
one to question his luck when it was in his favor. Stealthily creeping towards
the entrance, Sesshoumaru let his instincts take over and sniffed the air for
signs that the tiger-demon was in residence. He found what he was looking for
in the musty smell that permeated the air around the cave entrance. And that
was all the warning he had before Torama appeared.
The demon was huge, larger than his full demon form by a
head, and thicker around the neck. Torama's voice was deep and gravely as he
spoke to his intruder.
"Who are you, pup, and what are you doing disturbing my
sleep?"
Sesshoumaru felt a moment's hesitation, but his pride would
not allow for fear to show. He spoke as if his bones were not aching from being
held in place while they wanted to run away in terror. "Hn. I, Sesshoumaru, son
of the Great Lord of the Western Realms, have come here to challenge you."
Torama released a full-bellied rumble of laughter. He calmed
minutes later and regarded the pretty boy standing so arrogantly in front of him.
"You are nothing but a child. Go back to your great father and let him teach
you some manners. Come back when you are a man and I will reconsider."
Those were the wrong words to say to a prideful young man. Sesshoumaru snarled and attacked without warning. Torama was genuinely caught by surprise, having not expected the boy to move so fast. That surprise was forever etched on his features as Torama's head rolled to the ground. Sesshoumaru licked his claws clean before hefting the tiger-demon's head by its thick fur. He would return and show this to his father, as proof that he was stronger.
Fighting the urge to gag at the gruesome scene she had just witnessed, Kagome hastily rolled the scroll and returned it to its place without even bothering to tie the string that held it closed. She was definitely going to stay away from the golden scrolls from now on, she thought shakily. Ready to leave the past alone and not touch another scroll, Kagome reconsidered when she remembered questions that she had always had about Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru's relationship. She turned back to the rack and looked back to the first scroll she had read.
"If that was when Inuyasha's mother first appeared," she murmured, "then that means if I read from that point on… would I find out why Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru fight so much? Maybe I'll find out about the swords their father left them."
Not letting her trepidation have a chance to change her mind, Kagome bit her lip and quickly pulled out the next indigo scroll, this one a little lighter, a little bluer than the first.
The news had come as a shock. He didn't know why. There was
no reason to not have suspected such an outcome eventually, but a shock it
still was. His father's announcement that his human wife would be bearing him a
child had at first stunned Sesshoumaru, and then it had made his face pale in
rage. Such cold burning rage it was that he had had to leave in order to regain
his balance. Now, nine months later, he was back. Forced by duty to stay by his
father's side as the youkai lord awaited news of his second son's birth.
Sesshoumaru didn't know at that point whom he resented more, the child, the
woman, or his father. Frankly, he didn't want to be anywhere near the happy
little family when the brat was born, but if there was anything his mother had
taught him, it was that his duties as his father's heir came before personal
matters.
Thoughts of his mother made Sesshoumaru want to scream and
rage. The nine-year wound was still fresh in his heart even if everyone else
had forgotten. Some days were worse than others. During those moments when he
allowed the pain to surface from where he had buried it so long ago, all he
wanted to do was to huddle into himself and weep like his father's little wife.
But he wasn't human, and he could not shed tears, so even that small comfort
was stripped from him.
The sound of high pitched wailing made Sesshoumaru flinch.
The brat had come. Pity. He had hoped that there would be birthing
complications. Feeling immediately guilty over his treacherous thoughts,
Sesshoumaru avoided his father's too perceptive gaze and followed the youkai
lord as he went to greet his newborn child.
The smell of human sweat made him gag. He detested that musky
smell that humans exuded, yet seemed to be oblivious of. Hiding his reactions
to the best of his ability, Sesshoumaru slid on a mask of indifference. He
inadvertently met his stepmother's limpid violet eyes, and smirked when she
flinched back from him. If there was one thing that made his visit worth it, it
was that he was able to remind her that hers was not the only son in this
household. His fun was interrupted when his father waved him over to meet his
new half-brother: his half-human brother.
He was startled at how tiny the brat was. Unlike human
infants, youkai babies were not so completely unaware at birth. Their eyes were
fully functional and vocal cords were already strong enough to make sounds.
This baby was no exception. The boy was nothing more than a mop of white
baby-fine hair, with huge dark gold eyes set in a round chubby face.
Sesshoumaru took one look into that innocent face and was hooked. He even
cracked a rusty smile before he had his facial muscles under control again and
scowled down at the smiling infant.
"Sesshoumaru, meet your brother, Inuyasha."
"Inuyasha?"
"Aa. The name suits him, I think," his father said as he
smiled down at the baby now grabbing hold of his fingers with its tiny hands.
"Inuyasha… my brother…"
Kagome didn't even pause for breath as she quickly dropped the scroll onto the table and reached for the next one. She had forgotten about her apprehensions over reading Sesshoumaru's journals, and the fact that she was experiencing the past instead of simply reading an entry. The next scroll was dated seven years later.
Inuyasha had gotten into trouble again. Sesshoumaru scowled
when he remembered what his father had told him. The boy had declared that he
wanted "Maru-niichan" and had thrown a fit in front of his father's rather
important guests. Awkward was the last word that Sesshoumaru would have used to
describe that incident. A disgrace was what it was. His father's wife had been
spoiling the kid for years and it had accumulated into that one moment of
public embarrassment. If it were up to him, he would have had the woman flogged
for raising Inuyasha so poorly. But it wasn't up to him. He sighed. And it was
completely unfair of his father to demand that he spend "quality" time with the
kid. He wasn't the one who had knocked up a human, not that he would ever say
that to his father's face.
Sesshoumaru pushed aside the curtain that separated the
family rooms from the rest of the castle. Two more turns through empty
corridors and he was in an open room that had a table set in the center with
rose silk mats around it. Immediately, he spotted his stepmother sitting and
stitching a shirt. She was still unaware of him despite the fact that he hadn't
bothered to conceal his entrance, Sesshoumaru thought in disgust.
A pink ball of energy zoomed into Sesshoumaru with enough
impact to down a lesser demon. Sesshoumaru caught his half-brother by the
scruff of his neck and lifted him up to eye level.
"Inuyasha, what did I say last time?"
"'Don't wrinkle my clothes.'" Inuyasha obediently quoted.
Then he gave his half-brother a lopsided smile. Sesshoumaru almost smiled.
"Inu-chan!" Inuyasha's mother called in horror. She had
finally noticed her stepson's presence. Turning on her knees without rising,
she touched her head to the floor. "Sesshoumaru-sama, please forgive Inuyasha.
He does not usually behave this way."
An eyebrow rose. If his father had been there, he would have
found Sesshoumaru's expression to be hauntingly like his first wife's when she
was about to set him in his place.
Sesshoumaru was not friendly when he said, "Does he not? From
what I hear, Inuyasha has been misbehaving a lot of late."
The woman visibly shook as she stared at the floor. Inuyasha
looked from one adult to the other, not comprehending the undercurrents, but
aware that his adored brother disapproved of something his mother had done.
Still, Inuyasha didn't want to see his mother sad, and she was always sad after
one of his brother's visits. He decided to divert his brother's attention.
"Maru-niichan, I figured out how to do a claw attack, just
like you showed me."
Sesshoumaru knew what his brother was up to, but was in an
indulgent mood so he let the woman go without further ado.
"Did you now, Inuyasha. Let's go outside and you can show
me," he said
"Hai!" Then Inuyasha's little face dimmed. "But, my attack
isn't as cool as yours. I don't have any poison."
Somehow Inuyasha's mother found her voice and gasped. She
said, "Inu-chan, you mustn't use poison!" She stuttered to a stop at
Sesshoumaru's glare. Her eyes were awash with tears as the half-brothers left.
Once she thought that both were out of hearing, she collapsed with
body-wracking sobs.
Unfortunately, youkai hearing is much more acute than that of
humans. Inuyasha frowned as he scampered after his brother. He wanted to run
back to his mother and find out what was wrong, but to do so would mean that he
would lose his chance to show off to his brother, and he didn't know how long
it would be before Sesshoumaru would show up again. His brother's visits were
few and far between. But… maybe his brother knew why his mother was always
crying. Having nothing to fear, Inuyasha tugged on his brother's long sleeve,
thankful that it was so long that he could reach it.
Sesshoumaru glanced down at him. "What is it?"
"Why is Hahaue crying?"
Sesshoumaru shrugged indifferently. "How should I know?"
Inuyasha's golden eyes rounded. The concept of his brother
not knowing something was completely alien to him. So he asked, "But how come
you don't know, Maru-niichan?"
"Because I'm not human."
"Human?"
"Aa. Your mother is human," Sesshoumaru answered shortly.
Inuyasha pondered this. "But if Hahaue is human, am I human?"
"It makes you half-human. You have Chichiue's blood in you
also, so you are half-youkai."
"Are you half-human?"
"No." Sesshoumaru looked at the confused child for a moment
before softening his reply. "I had a different mother, Inuyasha. I am only your
half-brother."
"Half?" Inuyasha trotted after him. "Then what's your other
half?"
"I am full youkai," he answered.
And Inuyasha, even in his youth, heard the unbending pride behind that one statement. He had more questions he wanted to ply his brother, correction, half-brother with, but he could tell that Sesshoumaru was not in the mood to talk about it anymore. If there was anything that Inuyasha had learned over the years, it was that there were times that it was better to simply let things be. He would ask his father later, when he returned.
Kagome returned the bluish indigo scroll with a thoughtful expression on her face. She had always thought that Sesshoumaru hated Inuyasha on principle, but these scrolls were showing her differently… So, what had caused the rift between them? The next scroll was darker than any of the others, a murky, opaque indigo that seemed to leech light from the others despite its own otherworldly glow. Kagome pulled it free, and slipped the threads loose.
He had been away too long. What had started out as a journey
to strengthen himself had lasted well into an entire year. Now he was returning
to a home that was not really home, and to family that he had been alienated
from for much longer than the past year. Sesshoumaru briefly wondered how his
father had fared, and if he had aged at all. Not likely. The man was still in
his prime, youkai years being different from human ones.
Which brought him to thinking about Inuyasha and the boy's
human mother. Were they well? Did he care? Oddly enough, yes, he did care: for
the brat at least, if not for the mother. Somewhere along the way, Inuyasha had
become family. Not just in the sense of blood relationship, but true family
that he cared for. Sesshoumaru half smiled when he thought about his little
brother's antics. The brat was too hyper for his own good, and developing a
temper to match all that energy. Pretty soon he would start growing faster and
then he would become an adult. Sesshoumaru grimaced. At least Inuyasha didn't
have to put up with a name like his. He had made the mistake of letting too
many people know about his activities. As a result, superstitious villagers
continued to call him Sesshoumaru although it was well past time that he rid
himself of the childish suffix. No matter. He was used to the name anyhow.
Sesshoumaru continued to trek towards his father's estate in
deep thought, not really paying attention to his surroundings. That is, until
he smelled blood, his father's blood.
His heart didn't even have a chance to beat before
Sesshoumaru was off in a nearly invisible speed. He raced through the trees,
dodging and ducking, and sometimes simply cutting through branches that got in
his way. Closer and closer he came, until Sesshoumaru could practically taste
his father's blood in the air. His stomach twisted. He ignored it and followed
a trail of broken trees and scattered rocks. And then he found them.
A tiger-demon and his father were in the forest battling.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened when he saw the amount of damage his father had
taken so far. Too much blood, he thought, his father was losing too much blood.
Sesshoumaru did not hesitate in his decision to intercede in the fight. He
quickly flew over to his father and shoved the wounded youkai-lord aside as he
countered the tiger-demon with his toxic flower claw. To his shock the demon
countered with his own poison.
Sesshoumaru finally understood why his father was injured so
heavily. He knew exactly what type of poison the demon was using; it was a
variant of his own, and very lethal for youkai who were exposed to it. He did
not have time to play around with the tiger-demon, worry for his father's
health overriding all of his usual bloodthirsty urges. Sesshoumaru grabbed his
father, who sat slumped where he had fallen from his son's earlier push, and
escaped from the enraged tiger-demon with all speed. Sesshoumaru stopped only
when he was more than halfway back to the castle, and then only because his
father's breath was rattling out of his chest like loose pebbles. He carefully
set the larger man down on a patch of dry grass and felt for his pulse. It was
sluggish and barely perceptible.
"Sesshoumaru," his father sounded old to his ears. "I will
not survive this."
"NO!" Sesshoumaru tamped down the urge to yell further. He
swallowed hard. "Chichiue, I'll get you back to the castle. We'll get these
injuries-"
"Son, these injuries are not the problem," his father rebuked
gently. "You know that don't you?"
And he did. Only too well, Sesshoumaru understood the effects
of potent poison on an already weakened body. Many a time, he had used that
knowledge to his own advantage. But in this moment, as he beheld his father's
clammy face and dilating eyes, he wanted to be able to stop the pain, and felt
that his knowledge was incomplete.
"Chichiue…"
"Sesshoumaru, my son, I need to ask something of you." The
youkai lord spoke through clenched teeth as his body burned from the inside
out. "I place a burden on you, but there is no one else that I would trust to
do this well, or to follow my words faithfully."
"What is it, Chichiue?" Realizing that his father fully
intended to die, Sesshoumaru did the only thing that he could to comfort the
man's last hours. He listened. "Whatever it is, I'll do it."
The youkai lord smiled and reached blindly to grasp his son's
hand. Already, his sight was fading. He needed to speak fast. "Good… promise
me… that you will complete Inuyasha's training." He sensed and quickly hushed
Sesshoumaru's question. "He is half-human, half-youkai. There will be many who
will think lowly of him for his birth; and because of his heritage he will need
to learn how to fight better than most. You are the best fighter I have ever
known in my hundreds of years, Sesshoumaru. Train him to take care of himself.
Protect your brother. Promise me."
And he waited… until he felt Sesshoumaru's hand tighten
around his own. He barely heard his son's whispered words, but they were there,
hovering between them. "I promise, Chichiue. I'll make him strong." Tightness
in his chest, that had not been due to his injuries, unwound, and he smiled
proudly at his heir. He used the last of his energy to depart his legacy.
"There are two swords, Tenseiga and Tetsusaiga, which I have made
for you and Inuyasha. Tenseiga is yours, Sesshoumaru. I know you will use it
wisely. But, I don't know if I made Tetsusaiga too powerful. If he isn't
powerful enough, then I trust you to take care of it."
Sesshoumaru nodded silently and hugged his father tight to
his chest; for once not paying any attention to the blood that stained his
clothes. He had only one thing that he could offer his father to ease the pain.
He said, "Chichiue, I'll make the pain go away." And then, Sesshoumaru clamped
his hands tighter around his father's hand, piercing skin. The poison that he
injected relieved his father of all sensation.
Sesshoumaru brushed his father's white hair back from his
brow, regret expressed in every gentle touch. He had wasted half of his life
being resentful of a man who had loved him with all his heart, blaming him for
circumstances that had not been his fault. And now, he could only relive every
moment in his mind, and see how things could have been different between them.
That was how Inuyasha found his father and brother. The
little boy was speechless as he sighted Sesshoumaru, his much-adulated
half-brother, holding his dead father. The evidence was incriminating.
Sesshoumaru was covered in blood that Inuyasha could tell was their father's.
The great youkai lord lay lifeless, broken, against stained white silk. And
worst of all was the scent of poison, Sesshoumaru's poison, on his father.
Years of having witnessed his brother's cold-blooded methods had none of the
effect of that single moment, as Inuyasha's young mind took in these details
and processed them, connected them to scraps of rumors and gossip that he had
heard on and off about the castle grounds throughout his brief life. Words of
frightened servants, words of awe from his father's retainers, and lastly, but
perhaps most importantly, his mother's sobs of terror echoing down lonely
halls.
And Inuyasha came to the only conclusion that he could.
He screamed as he flew at his brother with tiny claws ready
to strike. Even in his state of mind, Sesshoumaru easily grabbed Inuyasha's
hands and held him at bay. "You killed him! You killed him!" Inuyasha continued
his chant over and over, pounding it into his brother's mind, as his hands
could not pound Sesshoumaru's chest.
"Inuyasha, stop this," Sesshoumaru ordered harshly, lost in
his own grief.
"NO!! You killed Chichiue just like everyone said you would!
You're nothing but a cold blooded killer!" Inuyasha was beyond his reach.
Sesshoumaru's eyes hardened. That this boy would dare to
accuse him, and that it should hurt, was intolerable. He released the boy and
stepped away from his father's corpse. "You are not thinking clearly."
"What is there to think?" Inuyasha demanded. Gone was his
unquestioning adoration. "I can smell Chichiue's blood on you, and that's your
poison in him!" His little body trembled. "You killed him, just like Hahaue
said you one day would."
"That bitch."
Inuyasha jerked at his cold, concise words. He glared up at
his brother and wanted to hate that beautiful face. He whispered, "I defended
you. I actually defended a person such as you."
Sesshoumaru closed his heart to his brother's hurt. He had a promise, and that was all. Inuyasha had to choose for himself whether or not he wanted anything more than that.
She was distantly aware that her face was wet and that the taste of salt was on her lips, but neither of these things mattered as Kagome remembered another's pain. It was debilitating in its intensity. She slid down to the pillow, let the incriminating scroll slide out of her senseless hands, and cried for the two youkai who could not shed their own tears.
**********
He had not expected her reaction; rather, he had expected that her sympathies would go to his half-brother, and not to him, never for him. But he was wrong, yet again, where this girl was concerned. Sesshoumaru watched her from his corner where he had been observing her the entire time, from her wonder, to guilty hesitation, to finally giving into her curiosity and opening the first scroll that contained his memories. She had obviously been reluctant at first about reading what she thought were private journals, but that reluctance had crumbled away when she had found long sought answers. He almost smiled at her naïveté, but his reservation had not disintegrated to that level yet.
Watching a person cry and hearing them cry were two completely different sensations. The first could be done dispassionately, distantly even if one was in the same room. However, the latter was another state of affairs altogether. Sesshoumaru found that he could not sit and listen to her soft sobs in comfort, and finally gave into the urge to find out what this "crying" thing involved. He had never paid much attention to Inuyasha's mother when she had exhibited this singularly human behavior, but then, he hadn't liked the woman enough to even tolerate being in the same room as her.
Padding on quiet feet, Sesshoumaru walked to the table and waited for Kagome to notice him. When it was apparent that she wasn't going to anytime soon, Sesshoumaru sat down beside her and stared at her dark head, which was buried between arms folded on the table.
"Go away," she said without raising her head. Her voice was thick with tears.
Sesshoumaru's eyebrow nearly hiked up to his hairline. "That is quite impossible, you know."
"Why?"
"Face me when you speak with me," he said.
Kagome sniffled and sat up. Her manners were so well ingrained into her psyche that she didn't bother to question whether she had to listen to his rebuke or not. She said quietly, "I'm sorry."
"What for?" He asked this not really thinking about the question. It was more of an automatic response as he was more curious about her than her answer. The girl still looked the same even though she had been crying. If he recalled correctly, Inuyasha's mother had been red and puffy eyed after each of her bouts. Sesshoumaru tried to make his study of her face as inconspicuous as possible.
"For looking through your things," Kagome answered. She was slowly returning to her usual self. "I didn't mean to pry." He looked at her in disbelief. Kagome flushed and wondered how long he had been in the room. "Okay, so I did mean to pry, but it sort of got out of hand."
Sesshoumaru waved away her apologies. "That is no matter. It was bound to happen."
Huh? She asked, "So where are we, anyhow?"
He looked as startled as she had ever seen him. He said, "You don't know?"
"No," she said. There was something wrong with this picture, something that she couldn't quite put her finger on… "All I remember is the Air Rip opening up and being pulled into it, nothing after that."
Kagome peered at Sesshoumaru, forgetting herself and leaning in to see his face more clearly in the dim light that was produced by the scrolls. He sat completely still as she stared. Then it struck her as she noticed the color of his collar. Their clothes were different. She had been wearing her school uniform when Naraku had struck, and remembered waking from her "death" to be soaked in blood. Sesshoumaru had been in his usual patterned white kimono. Now, there was not only no blood, but she was dressed in an old-fashioned pale blue kimono and he in a dark blue one.
Kagome sat back and asked bluntly, "Where are we?"
He blinked. "We are in my mind."
"That wasn't funny," she grumbled. "Now, really, where are we?"
He was getting irritated. "I was not jesting. We. Are. In. My. Mind." He enunciated slowly, and then emphasized his statement with a glare.
Panic was her reaction. "What!" She grabbed him by the lapels of his pretty clothes. "How did this happen? When? How can I get out? Please tell me there's a way out!"
Prying her fingers loose one by one, Sesshoumaru tried to rein in his temper. It was not an easy thing to do when she continued with her questions without waiting for an answer to any of them. Not to mention the mess she was making of his clothes, he thought darkly.
He finally lost it when recently dislodged fingers latched onto
his clothes again. He yelled at her,
Eep! Kowai…
Kagome slid back to sit on her heels and stared at him wide-eyed. Sesshoumaru ran a hand over his face and took a deep breath. It was definitely the wrong thing to do when she was so close. The faint scent of lilies of the valley invaded his olfactory senses. Sesshoumaru was shocked by his own immediate reaction and covered it by scowling at the girl responsible. Something must have shown through because Kagome scooted back further and her eyes began to dart around the room in search of exits. He could smell her fear. Kami-sama. Doesn't she know what doing that does to a youkai? It makes me want to jump her…
"Don't do that," he bit out. Kagome jumped.
"Do what?" she asked nervously.
She's clueless. "Fidgeting," he answered. "And stop apologizing for everything you do that annoys me, otherwise we'll be stuck here forever." Kagome stopped fidgeting. She glared at him instead.
Her teeth were clenched as she said, "Then please tell me how I may leave, so that I don't bother you anymore, Sesshoumaru."
There she goes again with "Sesshoumaru". She has a temper for someone so tiny. He said, "We wait."
"How long do we wait?" she asked. "What are we waiting for? And why am I in your mind?"
"We're waiting for our bodies to arrive wherever the Air Rip is meant to take us. How long, I do not know. It has been approximately two minutes since we were pulled into Naraku's trap. It appears that thoughts are much faster than physical time… as for why you are here… it was the only way to save you at the time."
"I…" She was touched by his concern.
"Don't make anything of it," he suggested. "Now that I know you're so nosy, I won't do it again."
Why that!
Kagome took her slipper off with every intention of throwing it at him, or at the very least creating a large dent in his head. Unfortunately, Sesshoumaru knew exactly what she was doing. He looked from her hand, where the blue slipper dangled, to her face. She quickly pulled her hand behind her back, but not before a glint appeared in his eyes.
Oops…
[End Part 3]
Author's notes:
Is this part better than the last? I liked it more, but I'm biased. ^^ Please let me know.
Definitions:
Hahaue: (honored) mother – a very old way of saying mother
Chichiue: (honored) father – a very old way of saying father
Kowai: scary