Chapter 2
I Wish You Were Here
After Cory had left, Shawn went into his room. Now, three hours later, he was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling in the dark. How is this gonna work, he wondered, Eric lives with me, so Cory can just never come over again? He turned his bedside table lamp on and grabbed his journal out of the drawer and began to write.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Shawn's Journal Entry in his POV*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Journal,
Life is cruel. Why take away one of the few people that, in this miserable life of mine, has made me happy? I remember a quote I read once "Love is like a minefield, it will blow up your heart again and again." It kind of reminds me of my life. . . my "mom," my dad, and now Cory. God how "wallowing in self-pity" do I sound now?
But Cory is really the only family I have ever known. I guess I still have Jack, but he's God-knows-where, and we were never that close anyway. There's still Eric, we have gotten a lot closer since we moved into the same apartment here. He always knows how to make me feel better for some strange reason.
I'm very confused right now. I needed to talk to Cory today, in fact I was the one who asked him to come over. . . and then he showed up and told me I could never see him again. "Topanga wanted a divorce!" he said. Well fine then give her one, no one should make you choose between your friends, I dumped a girl for Cory once, true I wasn't in love with her but still. . . its always been me and him. I thought Topanga understood that.
Right the reason I'm confused. . . really it started when Angela broke up with me. After the girl I was with (Marcy or something?) I started to think if it was really what I wanted. I mean Angela, I don't think I'm ready for that deep of a relationship. I don't know, sometimes I think I am and other times I just want to party. . . like the old Shawn. So that's when I hooked up with Marissa( still can't remember her name) and I had fun. I just need someone who is willing to have fun, then I think I could be in a long-term relationship.
Angela liked to have fun, but I don't know. . . it didn't fit. I need someone who is outrageous, daring, and up for adventure. Or someone like Cory who needed me to show him those things. God I'm back where I started.
Yeah but when Cory showed up today and said what he said, it killed me. It was like having someone cut out your heart with a spoon. . . slow and painful. It took a minute for me to comprehend what he said. At first I thought it was a sick joke, but deep down I knew it was true.
I thought Topanga was finally over him and me being close until we moved to New York and it was all she ever talked about. Even Eric got fed up with it, and Eric loves everybody. She drove Cory to spend more time with me because of her nagging.
I've finally come to realize how great a guy Eric is. He's crazy, naive, but he is up for anything. Lately I've been worried about him though, he has been depressed lately and hardly talks to anyone (except me).
He talks about how its been a long time since he's been with a girl, and how he's not sure he wants to be with another one. I think he's gay, and I think he knows it. I saw the way he looked at Jack, even though no one else did. I just wish he would admit it. I think he doesn't want his parents, or Mr. Feeny for that matter, disapproving him. He gets so hurt when Mr. Mathews scolds him for any reason.
He's actually gotten a lot quieter over the last couple weeks. He doesn't have a lot of friends, pretty much just me. Which reminds me of something else, how is Cory gonna visit his brother if he can't see me? I mean Topanga won't let Eric go over to their place because of the mess he makes. But Cory probably doesn't want to visit Eric anyway.
Its remarkable how he used to idolize his brother when we were little, and now wants nothing to do with him. I guess people grow up, and people are forgotten. Oh well I hope I can talk to Eric later about everything, in reality he's a lot deeper than people give him credit for. I hope he's okay.
-- Shawn
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shawn placed the book back into the drawer of the bedside table and sighed. He took hold of the picture frame with "Best Friends Forever" with a picture of him, Topanga, and of coarse Cory in it. He remembered Topanga had given it to him last Christmas. He remembered how he had given her heck about it, how it was a little too tacky for "Shawn Hunter" and he had a reputation to keep, but he deeply loved that frame and the picture.
He felt a tickling sensation in his throat and as he whispered to the photograph, "I wish you were here Cor."
Shawn had no idea someone was watching him from the shadows of the dark room. Someone had seen him writing his pain, whispering to the photograph, and finally throwing it across the room breaking the glass and ruining the picture.
Poor guy, thought the mysterious observer, I wish I could help him, even though he looks fabulous with the hurt-rebel look. Stop it Eric, the observer thought, I promised myself I would not look at another guy like that again. He inwardly sighed as he watched Shawn stare out the window into the night and mused, Oh who am I kiddin?
A/N: I know still no slash but there will be eventually!! I know the few people reading this hate me for not putting it in there yet but don't worry. . . Shawn and the *mysterious observer Eric * will talk about things in the next chapter and their will be a exotic event coming up soon! Anyways hope you liked it and its not getting to boring. This chapter was basically getting to see what Shawn was thinking. Review or flame (as long as your honest) I just wanna know what you think.
I Wish You Were Here
After Cory had left, Shawn went into his room. Now, three hours later, he was lying on his bed staring at the ceiling in the dark. How is this gonna work, he wondered, Eric lives with me, so Cory can just never come over again? He turned his bedside table lamp on and grabbed his journal out of the drawer and began to write.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Shawn's Journal Entry in his POV*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Journal,
Life is cruel. Why take away one of the few people that, in this miserable life of mine, has made me happy? I remember a quote I read once "Love is like a minefield, it will blow up your heart again and again." It kind of reminds me of my life. . . my "mom," my dad, and now Cory. God how "wallowing in self-pity" do I sound now?
But Cory is really the only family I have ever known. I guess I still have Jack, but he's God-knows-where, and we were never that close anyway. There's still Eric, we have gotten a lot closer since we moved into the same apartment here. He always knows how to make me feel better for some strange reason.
I'm very confused right now. I needed to talk to Cory today, in fact I was the one who asked him to come over. . . and then he showed up and told me I could never see him again. "Topanga wanted a divorce!" he said. Well fine then give her one, no one should make you choose between your friends, I dumped a girl for Cory once, true I wasn't in love with her but still. . . its always been me and him. I thought Topanga understood that.
Right the reason I'm confused. . . really it started when Angela broke up with me. After the girl I was with (Marcy or something?) I started to think if it was really what I wanted. I mean Angela, I don't think I'm ready for that deep of a relationship. I don't know, sometimes I think I am and other times I just want to party. . . like the old Shawn. So that's when I hooked up with Marissa( still can't remember her name) and I had fun. I just need someone who is willing to have fun, then I think I could be in a long-term relationship.
Angela liked to have fun, but I don't know. . . it didn't fit. I need someone who is outrageous, daring, and up for adventure. Or someone like Cory who needed me to show him those things. God I'm back where I started.
Yeah but when Cory showed up today and said what he said, it killed me. It was like having someone cut out your heart with a spoon. . . slow and painful. It took a minute for me to comprehend what he said. At first I thought it was a sick joke, but deep down I knew it was true.
I thought Topanga was finally over him and me being close until we moved to New York and it was all she ever talked about. Even Eric got fed up with it, and Eric loves everybody. She drove Cory to spend more time with me because of her nagging.
I've finally come to realize how great a guy Eric is. He's crazy, naive, but he is up for anything. Lately I've been worried about him though, he has been depressed lately and hardly talks to anyone (except me).
He talks about how its been a long time since he's been with a girl, and how he's not sure he wants to be with another one. I think he's gay, and I think he knows it. I saw the way he looked at Jack, even though no one else did. I just wish he would admit it. I think he doesn't want his parents, or Mr. Feeny for that matter, disapproving him. He gets so hurt when Mr. Mathews scolds him for any reason.
He's actually gotten a lot quieter over the last couple weeks. He doesn't have a lot of friends, pretty much just me. Which reminds me of something else, how is Cory gonna visit his brother if he can't see me? I mean Topanga won't let Eric go over to their place because of the mess he makes. But Cory probably doesn't want to visit Eric anyway.
Its remarkable how he used to idolize his brother when we were little, and now wants nothing to do with him. I guess people grow up, and people are forgotten. Oh well I hope I can talk to Eric later about everything, in reality he's a lot deeper than people give him credit for. I hope he's okay.
-- Shawn
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shawn placed the book back into the drawer of the bedside table and sighed. He took hold of the picture frame with "Best Friends Forever" with a picture of him, Topanga, and of coarse Cory in it. He remembered Topanga had given it to him last Christmas. He remembered how he had given her heck about it, how it was a little too tacky for "Shawn Hunter" and he had a reputation to keep, but he deeply loved that frame and the picture.
He felt a tickling sensation in his throat and as he whispered to the photograph, "I wish you were here Cor."
Shawn had no idea someone was watching him from the shadows of the dark room. Someone had seen him writing his pain, whispering to the photograph, and finally throwing it across the room breaking the glass and ruining the picture.
Poor guy, thought the mysterious observer, I wish I could help him, even though he looks fabulous with the hurt-rebel look. Stop it Eric, the observer thought, I promised myself I would not look at another guy like that again. He inwardly sighed as he watched Shawn stare out the window into the night and mused, Oh who am I kiddin?
A/N: I know still no slash but there will be eventually!! I know the few people reading this hate me for not putting it in there yet but don't worry. . . Shawn and the *mysterious observer Eric * will talk about things in the next chapter and their will be a exotic event coming up soon! Anyways hope you liked it and its not getting to boring. This chapter was basically getting to see what Shawn was thinking. Review or flame (as long as your honest) I just wanna know what you think.