Chapter 5
A Trip and a Search
Cory searched, all the while praying Topanga was still asleep, and searched although knowing he could never find Shawn in this colossal city. Eric hadn't even come with him, he had said something about a trip, but who could take a trip at a time like this? No one knew where Shawn was, and Cory was beyond terrified. He had always been there for Shawn when Shawn tried to push him away, and now Shawn was supposed to be out of his life forever?
How could I have done that to him, thought Cory, how could I have made him feel that kind of pain? I never wanted him to feel pain, and now I'm the reason? How could I have done that? I hate it when he does this, doesn't he know I'll always be there for him? How was he supposed to know that, came a sickening thought, when you told him you could never see him again?
Cory sighed, he was ready to give up hope at ever finding Shawn, and decided to go wait in Eric's apartment to see when (if) Shawn would ever come home. They had given him when an extra key when they first moved in and now he just prayed Topanga would understand why he wouldn't be there in the morning. She used to understand didn't she, Cory thought?
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Eric had known what he needed to do right after he had left Cory's apartment: Find Feeny. His mentor had been there for him whenever he needed him, and was about the only person in this world who had never given up on Eric.
"I'm not here to judge." Eric could almost here him say the words. Cory had told him what Mr. Feeny had said when Shawn had decided to become a girl for an undercover journalism story. Eric knew Mr. Feeny wouldn't judge him for having feelings for Shawn (and Jack). Actually Mr. Feeny probably already knew Eric was (in love with Shawn? Jack?) attracted to men.
Eric smiled sadly. Shawn Hunter was definitely one of the most versatile people Eric had ever known. Sure his mood swings are hell for everyone who knows him, and he drives everyone away every single chance he gets, but Eric loved him for that. It was what made Shawn who he was. But do I really love him, Eric thought, what about Jack? What is it with me and the Hunter boys?
So now here he was driving, at 2:30 on a Monday morning, to see an old friend. He hadn't even packed clothes, nor gone back to his apartment at all but he knew he'd made the right decision. He needed to talk to Mr. Feeny, and the sooner the better.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cory sighed and ran a hand through his prominent curly hair. He was standing outside Shawn and Eric's apartment soaking in all the memories. Not from here, but instead from Philadelphia. He remembered everything Shawn had been through, and how Cory had been there the best he could every time. He recalled Chet dieing, Verna leaving twice, and then not even being Shawn's real mom, how Shawn had two brothers that he hadn't been there this time and that made his heart bleed with guilt.
He had failed. Cory had failed Shawn. Shawn his best friend. Shawn who had gone through hell, and Cory let him down. How would he ever make it up to him? How *could* he ever make it up to him?
Cory pressed his forehead against the durable wooden door of Shawn's apartment. Never so much pain had he felt, not even close. The most similar feeling he had felt was when Topanga had called their wedding off, but Cory hadn't done anything wrong there and he knew it. He also knew they would be together because no matter how stubborn Topanga was, she didn't even compare to Shawn. Shawn had held a grudge against his father until the day he died.
Please understand Shawnie, Cory silently prayed, I need you as much as you need me so please understand.
Cory rubbed his temples and finally unlocked the door. He entered the dark room noiselessly with a fluid motion he surely hadn't had in his clumsy high school days. Silent and smooth as a fox, Cory strolled across the dark living room into Shawn's bedroom.
Cory stared at Shawn's favorite part of his bedroom, his window, and found a square hole with fragments of broken glass still in the vane. Raindrops from the storm were streaming into the freezing, wet bedroom.
Cory turned away from the clutter of destroyed window and the rainwater, and leaned his back into the wall sinking down onto the floor as he had done in Topanga's room more that four years ago when he had though he'd lost her.
"Shawnie," he breathed hoarsely, "where are you?"
Cory felt extremely exhausted from his pursuit after Shawn, in fact he could barely keep his eyes open. Cory walked into the living room in order to sleep on the red-vinyl couch. He flicked on the light, and was astonished to see a familiar body already laying there looking unpleasantly cold with no blanket for warmth, and vulnerable with a grimace on a normally stoic face. No doubt, Shawn Hunter was obviously miserable even through sleep.
Cory got the comforter off Eric's bed and tucked Shawn in like a true family member.
Shawn probably has never had anyone do that for him, Cory thought with dismay.
Cory placed a piece of thick hair that had fallen astray into Shawn's eyes behind his ears and spoke softly, "I won't ever abandon you again Shawnie, please believe me."
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"Mr. Feeny," Eric shouted standing outside of the gate in George Feeny's back yard, "Mr. Feeny! MR. FEENY!!!"
George ran out in his robe clutching his heart with Dean Bolander-Feeny clinging to his shoulders.
"Mr. Matthews? It's five-thirty in the morning! What are you doing home?" Mr. Feeny questioned.
"George I'm going back inside, would you like me to make you some coffee?" Mrs. Feeny asked.
"Sure dear I'd---"
"Yeah thanks Mrs. Feeny, but make sure mine has four scoops of sugar and no crème okay?" Eric interrupted.
The Dean rolled her eyes, walked back inside her new home, and muttered something that sounded oddly like "We should have lived in my house."
"Mr. Matthews what are you doing here? What about New York?"
"The 'Windy-City'? It's great!"
The wise elderly man knew there was something that drove Eric back to the security of his hometown, "Come now Mr. Matthews both you and I know there's something troubling you, let's have it."
Eric shifted his feet anxiously; he had no idea how he was going to say this to Mr. Feeny.
"You know Eric, the harder it is to tell someone something, the more support you need from them. Remember I'm not here to judge."
That comment made Eric sure he could tell his long-time mentor, "Mr. Feeny we've known each other for what? Twenty-four years now?"
Mr. Feeny smiled, "Yes I believe so, and never yet in your life have you and I come across a situation we could not handle, so please tell me what is going on."
Eric stared George in his calm, gentle eyes, "Mr. Feeny I think I'm in love with two different people."
"Well Mr. Matthews things could be worse."
"They're Jack and Shawn."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N Hey to the (5) people reading this! I dunno if I can write Feeny but I tried, I hope he doesn't sound too OOC.
I just wanted to say a special thanks to Wicked Wonder (whose story's kick ass) and Peekaboo for reviewing this story more than once. Thank you!!
Well I think I have a pretty good idea who's gonna end up with who. Now all I have to do is figure out how. Oh and I'm sorry it took me like 2 weeks to get this chapter posted. Between college and writer's block it was hard, but 3:30 in the morning is great!
A Trip and a Search
Cory searched, all the while praying Topanga was still asleep, and searched although knowing he could never find Shawn in this colossal city. Eric hadn't even come with him, he had said something about a trip, but who could take a trip at a time like this? No one knew where Shawn was, and Cory was beyond terrified. He had always been there for Shawn when Shawn tried to push him away, and now Shawn was supposed to be out of his life forever?
How could I have done that to him, thought Cory, how could I have made him feel that kind of pain? I never wanted him to feel pain, and now I'm the reason? How could I have done that? I hate it when he does this, doesn't he know I'll always be there for him? How was he supposed to know that, came a sickening thought, when you told him you could never see him again?
Cory sighed, he was ready to give up hope at ever finding Shawn, and decided to go wait in Eric's apartment to see when (if) Shawn would ever come home. They had given him when an extra key when they first moved in and now he just prayed Topanga would understand why he wouldn't be there in the morning. She used to understand didn't she, Cory thought?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Eric had known what he needed to do right after he had left Cory's apartment: Find Feeny. His mentor had been there for him whenever he needed him, and was about the only person in this world who had never given up on Eric.
"I'm not here to judge." Eric could almost here him say the words. Cory had told him what Mr. Feeny had said when Shawn had decided to become a girl for an undercover journalism story. Eric knew Mr. Feeny wouldn't judge him for having feelings for Shawn (and Jack). Actually Mr. Feeny probably already knew Eric was (in love with Shawn? Jack?) attracted to men.
Eric smiled sadly. Shawn Hunter was definitely one of the most versatile people Eric had ever known. Sure his mood swings are hell for everyone who knows him, and he drives everyone away every single chance he gets, but Eric loved him for that. It was what made Shawn who he was. But do I really love him, Eric thought, what about Jack? What is it with me and the Hunter boys?
So now here he was driving, at 2:30 on a Monday morning, to see an old friend. He hadn't even packed clothes, nor gone back to his apartment at all but he knew he'd made the right decision. He needed to talk to Mr. Feeny, and the sooner the better.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cory sighed and ran a hand through his prominent curly hair. He was standing outside Shawn and Eric's apartment soaking in all the memories. Not from here, but instead from Philadelphia. He remembered everything Shawn had been through, and how Cory had been there the best he could every time. He recalled Chet dieing, Verna leaving twice, and then not even being Shawn's real mom, how Shawn had two brothers that he hadn't been there this time and that made his heart bleed with guilt.
He had failed. Cory had failed Shawn. Shawn his best friend. Shawn who had gone through hell, and Cory let him down. How would he ever make it up to him? How *could* he ever make it up to him?
Cory pressed his forehead against the durable wooden door of Shawn's apartment. Never so much pain had he felt, not even close. The most similar feeling he had felt was when Topanga had called their wedding off, but Cory hadn't done anything wrong there and he knew it. He also knew they would be together because no matter how stubborn Topanga was, she didn't even compare to Shawn. Shawn had held a grudge against his father until the day he died.
Please understand Shawnie, Cory silently prayed, I need you as much as you need me so please understand.
Cory rubbed his temples and finally unlocked the door. He entered the dark room noiselessly with a fluid motion he surely hadn't had in his clumsy high school days. Silent and smooth as a fox, Cory strolled across the dark living room into Shawn's bedroom.
Cory stared at Shawn's favorite part of his bedroom, his window, and found a square hole with fragments of broken glass still in the vane. Raindrops from the storm were streaming into the freezing, wet bedroom.
Cory turned away from the clutter of destroyed window and the rainwater, and leaned his back into the wall sinking down onto the floor as he had done in Topanga's room more that four years ago when he had though he'd lost her.
"Shawnie," he breathed hoarsely, "where are you?"
Cory felt extremely exhausted from his pursuit after Shawn, in fact he could barely keep his eyes open. Cory walked into the living room in order to sleep on the red-vinyl couch. He flicked on the light, and was astonished to see a familiar body already laying there looking unpleasantly cold with no blanket for warmth, and vulnerable with a grimace on a normally stoic face. No doubt, Shawn Hunter was obviously miserable even through sleep.
Cory got the comforter off Eric's bed and tucked Shawn in like a true family member.
Shawn probably has never had anyone do that for him, Cory thought with dismay.
Cory placed a piece of thick hair that had fallen astray into Shawn's eyes behind his ears and spoke softly, "I won't ever abandon you again Shawnie, please believe me."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Mr. Feeny," Eric shouted standing outside of the gate in George Feeny's back yard, "Mr. Feeny! MR. FEENY!!!"
George ran out in his robe clutching his heart with Dean Bolander-Feeny clinging to his shoulders.
"Mr. Matthews? It's five-thirty in the morning! What are you doing home?" Mr. Feeny questioned.
"George I'm going back inside, would you like me to make you some coffee?" Mrs. Feeny asked.
"Sure dear I'd---"
"Yeah thanks Mrs. Feeny, but make sure mine has four scoops of sugar and no crème okay?" Eric interrupted.
The Dean rolled her eyes, walked back inside her new home, and muttered something that sounded oddly like "We should have lived in my house."
"Mr. Matthews what are you doing here? What about New York?"
"The 'Windy-City'? It's great!"
The wise elderly man knew there was something that drove Eric back to the security of his hometown, "Come now Mr. Matthews both you and I know there's something troubling you, let's have it."
Eric shifted his feet anxiously; he had no idea how he was going to say this to Mr. Feeny.
"You know Eric, the harder it is to tell someone something, the more support you need from them. Remember I'm not here to judge."
That comment made Eric sure he could tell his long-time mentor, "Mr. Feeny we've known each other for what? Twenty-four years now?"
Mr. Feeny smiled, "Yes I believe so, and never yet in your life have you and I come across a situation we could not handle, so please tell me what is going on."
Eric stared George in his calm, gentle eyes, "Mr. Feeny I think I'm in love with two different people."
"Well Mr. Matthews things could be worse."
"They're Jack and Shawn."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N Hey to the (5) people reading this! I dunno if I can write Feeny but I tried, I hope he doesn't sound too OOC.
I just wanted to say a special thanks to Wicked Wonder (whose story's kick ass) and Peekaboo for reviewing this story more than once. Thank you!!
Well I think I have a pretty good idea who's gonna end up with who. Now all I have to do is figure out how. Oh and I'm sorry it took me like 2 weeks to get this chapter posted. Between college and writer's block it was hard, but 3:30 in the morning is great!