"I don't know why she's so angry." Chris said, sitting on the couch at
Claire's house. He had been staring into space for the last few hours, it
was about five o'clock now.
"What was that?" Claire asked from the kitchen. "Nothing." Taking a sip of
the coffee sitting in front of him on the light brown coffee table.
Claire came out from the kitchen and sat down in the chair next to the
couch. "Well, now that you're talking again, I take it you can tell me what
happened?" She sat for a moment, waiting, desperate to know what happened.
"Nothing, Chris said, not looking at her. "Oh C'mon!" She started, "That
was not nothing. Something definitely happened."
"I just don't want to talk about it!" Chris snapped, turning quickly to
look over at her. "Okay, you don't have to get so mean." Claire became a
little annoyed with him, but decided to brush it off, since he had been
through a lot in the last few hours. "Well, time to eat." She said standing
up, making her way to the kitchen. "Aren't you coming?" She asked. "Yeah,
I'm coming." Chris said mildly, standing up and following Claire to the
Kitchen.
It was eleven when he left Claire's house. As he walked to the car, he realized he wished he had left earlier, now he had to drive home, just to get there at one in the morning. As he got in the car, he stated to think about Alana, he tried to think why he did that to her. "why did I do something that I knew would hurt her?" He thought as he started up the engine. Driving down the highway, only twenty minutes into his three hour trip, he started to think again. Alana had been there after he and Claire got back from the arctic, he remember just seeing her there, looking concerned, he thought she was mostly concerned about Claire at the time, but the first thing she did was "Help me." He said out loud, not even realizing it. She had been there whenever he needed her, and, now, she needed him, but he ignored her. She tried to do something from him, he left to go see Jill. Maybe it would be the better thing if he stayed with Jill, after all, that's who he spent most of his time with. He drove more and more. ChugchugchugBOOM!
"Whoa!" Chris said, trying to stabilize the car, then pulling over to the breakdown lane. He got out, noticed the hood had smoke coming out from under it. "wonderful." He said sarcastically. He needed to call someone, he was two hours from Claire's house, one hours from his own. "Jill." he thought as he unclipped his cell phone from his belt. He stood for a moment, trying to think of what he would have done half a year ago, before all of this. "Alana." He said out loud, smiling. He knew if they were in a car together she would have no way to ignore him really, she would have to listen to him. He dialed the number, she picked up, "Hello?" "Hey." Chris answered. She said nothing. "well my car broke down out here, on route 23, so I was wondering if you could come get me." He trailed off, wondering if she had hung up, or if she was still there. "Hello?' He asked. "Sure." She said, "I'll be there in about an hour then." She didn't sound angry at all, she sounded.happy. "Great, thanks. I." He didn't know what to say anymore, he wanted to finish with 'I love you', but was afraid she may not like that. "yes?" She said questioningly. "Oh, yeah, anyway, I'll see you in a little while then. Bye." She replied "bye." And that was it, she was alone again. Now, all he had to do was wait, once again, there she was ready to help him. Just like when he came back from Antarctica. He had more problems after that then anyone even knew, except for Alana, she somehow made all the bed nightmares go away. He used to be going to sleep at night, he would close his eyes, and all he could see was his friends and colleagues, dead, all dead. But she would let him do whatever he needed to feel better, whether he needed to cry, which he would never admit he did, or anything else, just to make him happy. She had her own problems, a year after Raccoon, she still couldn't forget. Everything she built up for herself, like Chris, she had seen it fall apart right in front of her eyes. She never told anyone what happened to her in Raccoon, but she told him, she told him everything about her, he did the same, they knew everything there was to know about each other, sometimes he wondered if she knew him better than himself. He saw the bright headlights from the mustang drive up behind his car and come to a slow stop. He made sure that his car was locked, he would call a tow for it when they got back. He would have before but he wanted to talk with Alana now. "hi." She said happily, but she sounded like she was trying to hard to be happy. As he bent to sit in the seat he could tell she had been crying by the light of the car. He knew he distressed her, but he hoped she was mostly over it by now. "hey." He said, turning to her and smiling but noticed that she wouldn't look at him. He shut the door, and they started off, back to their apartment. After about five minutes, neither said a word, but Chris soon decided to speak up. "So." was all he could spit out. He didn't know what to say, he'd never been in this kind of situation before. "I." He stuttered, he wanted to say what he was thinking, but it just wouldn't come out. "I.I.never meant to hurt you, in anyway." He finally said looking over to her, waiting for a reply. She just kept focused on the road for a few minutes more then, just said "Okay." And continued driving. 'Okay." He thought, "that's all?" he said questioningly. "Uh huh." She said, sounding like she was about to burst out in tears. He reached his hand over to her and put it on her shoulder, not knowing what else to do, how do you comfort someone who's driving? He just continued telling her how he really did care about her, he was sorry for his behavior, and everything else. "Earlier tonight, I was thinking about what it would be like to live without you there, and that.that killed me." He just realizing it himself. It did, it hurt him to think of like any different. Before Jill everything was perfect, and then he lost it. "I never meant to do anything, Chris." Was all she could say, if he said another word she would burst into tears, and she didn't want that. "What do you mean?' he asked, suddenly starting to think that she assumed this was her fault. "Whatever you want to change I'll do it." She said, a tear rolled down her cheek and fell into her lap. All Chris wanted to do was take her up in his arms and tell her that everything was okay, everything would be fine now, but he didn't know if that what was really going to happen. They pulled into the parking garage, Alana immediately got out of the car, but left the keys on Chris' lap. 'She's embarrassed to have me see her cry.' He thought, she never had been before, but now, she was very upset, and didn't want to be. Whenever she got down for some reason, she tended to stay that way for a while. That's why they had it so hard in Paris, but here, she was getting a lot of work, and making a lot of money, so they could live in a nice apartment, with a nice car, and be happy. He locked the car, then jogged over to the stairway entrance into the building, he pushed open the door, and heard nothing at all, he figured Alana must have been pretty far a head of him by then. He jogged up the concrete stairs to the elevator. Alana was there waiting for him, and the elevator he assumed. She was holding back all of her tears, Chris walked over to her and hugged her around her shoulders, she just stood there for a moment, but soon, started to cry. He rocked back and forth for about five minutes, when the elevator came down, the doors opened, he then just put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into the elevator with him. She looked very pale and felt very hot Chris guessed it was because she had been crying so much. "calm down now." He said in a very low, calm voice, pulling her a little closer than before. All of a sudden he felt very protective over her, but he wasn't quite sure why. Another man got into the elevator at the lobby area of the building. He gave them both a strange look when he walked in, Chris just ignored him for then, but had a bad feeling about him, he'd never seen him before, he didn't look familiar at all. On the sixth floor, the strange man got off, and Chris felt a lot better being a lone with Alana again. Soon, they got to their floor. Chris pulled Alana along with him off the elevator and into the blue and green hallway. As they got to their door, Alana started depending on Chris to hold her up more than she was before. "I think." She stopped for a minute trying to regain her thoughts. "I think I need to lay down." She didn't sound or look very good, she looked very sick. "I think that you need to sleep as it is, and you were upset earlier, so maybe it would be good if you just rest now." Chris lead her to the bed room. As they entered, she tripped over something on the floor, but Chris caught her before she fell, he walked her to the bed, took of her shoes and pants, and then covered her with the blanket, hoping she would sleep. He looked at her for a few minutes, just thinking about her, thinking about how she said it was her fault that their was something wrong in their relationship. 'She'll sleep and be better in the morning.' He thought to himself, while watching her try to go to sleep. He turned to leave when he heard a little voice ask "Where are you going?" Alana was still awake, looking at him, waiting for an answer. " Well, no where, I was just going to shut the door, that's all." He lied, he didn't want her to know he was about to go watch T.V., he walked around to the other side of the bed, took off his cloths and lay down to sleep, moving over to be closer to Alana, he put his arm over her, just so she knew he was there. They both drifted into sleep, thinking about all that had happened, but it would all be better in the morning.
It was eleven when he left Claire's house. As he walked to the car, he realized he wished he had left earlier, now he had to drive home, just to get there at one in the morning. As he got in the car, he stated to think about Alana, he tried to think why he did that to her. "why did I do something that I knew would hurt her?" He thought as he started up the engine. Driving down the highway, only twenty minutes into his three hour trip, he started to think again. Alana had been there after he and Claire got back from the arctic, he remember just seeing her there, looking concerned, he thought she was mostly concerned about Claire at the time, but the first thing she did was "Help me." He said out loud, not even realizing it. She had been there whenever he needed her, and, now, she needed him, but he ignored her. She tried to do something from him, he left to go see Jill. Maybe it would be the better thing if he stayed with Jill, after all, that's who he spent most of his time with. He drove more and more. ChugchugchugBOOM!
"Whoa!" Chris said, trying to stabilize the car, then pulling over to the breakdown lane. He got out, noticed the hood had smoke coming out from under it. "wonderful." He said sarcastically. He needed to call someone, he was two hours from Claire's house, one hours from his own. "Jill." he thought as he unclipped his cell phone from his belt. He stood for a moment, trying to think of what he would have done half a year ago, before all of this. "Alana." He said out loud, smiling. He knew if they were in a car together she would have no way to ignore him really, she would have to listen to him. He dialed the number, she picked up, "Hello?" "Hey." Chris answered. She said nothing. "well my car broke down out here, on route 23, so I was wondering if you could come get me." He trailed off, wondering if she had hung up, or if she was still there. "Hello?' He asked. "Sure." She said, "I'll be there in about an hour then." She didn't sound angry at all, she sounded.happy. "Great, thanks. I." He didn't know what to say anymore, he wanted to finish with 'I love you', but was afraid she may not like that. "yes?" She said questioningly. "Oh, yeah, anyway, I'll see you in a little while then. Bye." She replied "bye." And that was it, she was alone again. Now, all he had to do was wait, once again, there she was ready to help him. Just like when he came back from Antarctica. He had more problems after that then anyone even knew, except for Alana, she somehow made all the bed nightmares go away. He used to be going to sleep at night, he would close his eyes, and all he could see was his friends and colleagues, dead, all dead. But she would let him do whatever he needed to feel better, whether he needed to cry, which he would never admit he did, or anything else, just to make him happy. She had her own problems, a year after Raccoon, she still couldn't forget. Everything she built up for herself, like Chris, she had seen it fall apart right in front of her eyes. She never told anyone what happened to her in Raccoon, but she told him, she told him everything about her, he did the same, they knew everything there was to know about each other, sometimes he wondered if she knew him better than himself. He saw the bright headlights from the mustang drive up behind his car and come to a slow stop. He made sure that his car was locked, he would call a tow for it when they got back. He would have before but he wanted to talk with Alana now. "hi." She said happily, but she sounded like she was trying to hard to be happy. As he bent to sit in the seat he could tell she had been crying by the light of the car. He knew he distressed her, but he hoped she was mostly over it by now. "hey." He said, turning to her and smiling but noticed that she wouldn't look at him. He shut the door, and they started off, back to their apartment. After about five minutes, neither said a word, but Chris soon decided to speak up. "So." was all he could spit out. He didn't know what to say, he'd never been in this kind of situation before. "I." He stuttered, he wanted to say what he was thinking, but it just wouldn't come out. "I.I.never meant to hurt you, in anyway." He finally said looking over to her, waiting for a reply. She just kept focused on the road for a few minutes more then, just said "Okay." And continued driving. 'Okay." He thought, "that's all?" he said questioningly. "Uh huh." She said, sounding like she was about to burst out in tears. He reached his hand over to her and put it on her shoulder, not knowing what else to do, how do you comfort someone who's driving? He just continued telling her how he really did care about her, he was sorry for his behavior, and everything else. "Earlier tonight, I was thinking about what it would be like to live without you there, and that.that killed me." He just realizing it himself. It did, it hurt him to think of like any different. Before Jill everything was perfect, and then he lost it. "I never meant to do anything, Chris." Was all she could say, if he said another word she would burst into tears, and she didn't want that. "What do you mean?' he asked, suddenly starting to think that she assumed this was her fault. "Whatever you want to change I'll do it." She said, a tear rolled down her cheek and fell into her lap. All Chris wanted to do was take her up in his arms and tell her that everything was okay, everything would be fine now, but he didn't know if that what was really going to happen. They pulled into the parking garage, Alana immediately got out of the car, but left the keys on Chris' lap. 'She's embarrassed to have me see her cry.' He thought, she never had been before, but now, she was very upset, and didn't want to be. Whenever she got down for some reason, she tended to stay that way for a while. That's why they had it so hard in Paris, but here, she was getting a lot of work, and making a lot of money, so they could live in a nice apartment, with a nice car, and be happy. He locked the car, then jogged over to the stairway entrance into the building, he pushed open the door, and heard nothing at all, he figured Alana must have been pretty far a head of him by then. He jogged up the concrete stairs to the elevator. Alana was there waiting for him, and the elevator he assumed. She was holding back all of her tears, Chris walked over to her and hugged her around her shoulders, she just stood there for a moment, but soon, started to cry. He rocked back and forth for about five minutes, when the elevator came down, the doors opened, he then just put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into the elevator with him. She looked very pale and felt very hot Chris guessed it was because she had been crying so much. "calm down now." He said in a very low, calm voice, pulling her a little closer than before. All of a sudden he felt very protective over her, but he wasn't quite sure why. Another man got into the elevator at the lobby area of the building. He gave them both a strange look when he walked in, Chris just ignored him for then, but had a bad feeling about him, he'd never seen him before, he didn't look familiar at all. On the sixth floor, the strange man got off, and Chris felt a lot better being a lone with Alana again. Soon, they got to their floor. Chris pulled Alana along with him off the elevator and into the blue and green hallway. As they got to their door, Alana started depending on Chris to hold her up more than she was before. "I think." She stopped for a minute trying to regain her thoughts. "I think I need to lay down." She didn't sound or look very good, she looked very sick. "I think that you need to sleep as it is, and you were upset earlier, so maybe it would be good if you just rest now." Chris lead her to the bed room. As they entered, she tripped over something on the floor, but Chris caught her before she fell, he walked her to the bed, took of her shoes and pants, and then covered her with the blanket, hoping she would sleep. He looked at her for a few minutes, just thinking about her, thinking about how she said it was her fault that their was something wrong in their relationship. 'She'll sleep and be better in the morning.' He thought to himself, while watching her try to go to sleep. He turned to leave when he heard a little voice ask "Where are you going?" Alana was still awake, looking at him, waiting for an answer. " Well, no where, I was just going to shut the door, that's all." He lied, he didn't want her to know he was about to go watch T.V., he walked around to the other side of the bed, took off his cloths and lay down to sleep, moving over to be closer to Alana, he put his arm over her, just so she knew he was there. They both drifted into sleep, thinking about all that had happened, but it would all be better in the morning.