Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
AN/Warnings: Some sexuality.
Genre(s): Romance, angst, drama.
Setting: One year after the war with Andross.
Additional AN: Takes place during the events of the GLS (starting at NMI, chap. 1). (Why stick to cannon pairings? It's been done before...) Oh, and by the way, does anyone know what species of dog Bill is really supposed to be?
Comfortably Fragile
"Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them."
--Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) US writer. Obituary, The New York Times, 8 June 1967
Very early Saturday, Spaceship Magistrate (Phoenix Inc.) headquarters, Corneria City
Fara sighed, rubbing her eyes, her free paw reaching out for her cup of coffee. She took a sip, grimacing; she'd never liked coffee, but she'd been having trouble sleeping lately, and she needed the caffeine, desperately. She yawned, pulling her large, flat ears against her head. Inwardly, she sighed, realizing long ago that she'd never be able to escape her ears.
She scribbled down her signature one more time, by now barely recognizable as an F and a P. She yawned again, setting down her pencil and giving her left paw a good shake, her wrist sore from the strain.
She leaned back in her chair, head resting against the back, and closed her eyes. She'd never wanted the job. She was much more at home in the sky, her problems forgotten with the adrenaline rush of a good dogfight. Being Chief Test Pilot had been her dream job, but when the shit hit the fan during a particularly long and bloody battle that destroyed half of Corneria City, her father had been killed, and she'd had to continue on.
Unbidden, she opened her eyes, head rolling slightly to the side, her gaze resting on a picture of she and her father, a rather older one, taken when she was only a pup. Fara's lips curled up slightly. That had been her first time at an Air Force base. She remembered sitting up on her father's lap inside one of the new jets, gleefully slapping at controls and switches and levers as her father filled in the sound effects for her. Fara felt her eyes starting to water, and had to look away.
Oh, Father. Why did you have to die?
The begging of the war, she'd been so free. It had been a game to her, knowing nothing of personal loss. While it was true that her mother had died while giving birth to her, that had been so long ago, and Fara knew nothing of her. Thus she and her father had been especially close, and she had been nearly destroyed when he had died.
But she had been cocky and brash in the beginning, very much a spoiled brat. Her short stint with Fox and his team had caused her to mature greatly, then having had her first taste of real war. She smiled again slightly, thoughts straying back to Fox.
They'd gotten close during the first few months, not as close as she would've liked, but she had been thankful for his friendship. She'd been weak and inexperienced, and he'd taken her under his wing. Fox had often kept people at a distance, though, and the fact that she looked remarkably like his mother hadn't helped. He'd always been a bit shy around her, as if afraid to touch her, and shatter the image. Vixy's dress had been the breaking point, and she'd gathered up the broken pieces of her heart and fled after that.
She'd always been rather awkward around men, considering her ears, and the plainness of her face. She was pretty, of course, but not in a remarkably beautiful way, and her confidence had suffered because of it. She had thrust her self head first into her training, into the sky, and she'd felt peace there. Now that she was stuck behind a desk, past pains had returned, and she felt much older than her years.
Fara swivelled her chair around, paws resting in her lap. Corneria City was still being rebuilt, but the Spaceship Magistrate headquarters had been one of the first buildings up, along with any other military installations. It was raining, and rain on Corneria always resembled a small monsoon.
Fara sighed. The world looked grey, and washed out.
She awoke with a start, body tensing, green eyes flying wide. When she realized that she was alone, Fara released her breath, sagging in her chair. She yawned, rubbing at her eyes. When had she fallen asleep? She blinked through heavy lashes, peering down at the clock on her desk, 9:13 staring back at her in digital numbers. The rain had stopped, sunlight pouring in her office from behind.
Fara pressed the button on her intercom, requesting another cup of coffee from her secretary, wondering how she was going to make it the rest of the day. She rested her head on her desk for a moment, collecting her thoughts, struggling to think beyond the pain in her head. Presently, her secretary entered, a fresh cup of coffee in his paws. He replaced the old one, graciously bowing as he turned to leave.
He stopped at the door, turning back to watch as Fara roused herself, yawning and blindly groping for her mug.
"Fara," the panther started, knowing his boss well enough to call her by the first name. He paused for a moment, wondering how to break the news to her and still keep his job. Sighing, he decided to simply plunge into the matter head first. "You look like shit."
Fara grimaced, trying to smile, one paw working at her temples again. "Thank you for the compliment, Reeve. Now get back to work." She mustered up the best smile she could, given the strain, taking the edge off her comment.
Reeve flashed her a grin. "Yes Ma'am," he said with a wink, shutting the door behind him.
Fara rolled her eyes, vaguely smiling. Reeve was possibly her best friend, and was good for a laugh. She usually confided in him, taking periodic breaks throughout the day for a quick chat with him. Lately, though, she hadn't been feeling up for it. Since her father had died, she'd been struck off and on with insomnia, and this bout insofar had been the worst.
She stood up, working the kinks out of her back, hearing it pop in several places. She looked out over the city once more, her office being at the top of a seventy story building, and thus affording a spectacular view. She blinked, studying her reflection in the glass, realizing that she really did look bad. Hell, she looked like shit. Her eyes were tired and puffy, fur matted on one side where she'd fallen asleep, her huge ears still there.
Fara sniffed, frowning, looking away. She hated mirrors.
With a quiet grumble, she plopped back in her chair, studying the next document, cheek resting on one paw. It was the newest order from the Cornerian Air Force. She sleepily skimmed through General Pepper's gibberish before scribbling down her signature, moving onto the next proposal.
She had just begun to read it when her intercom buzzed, Reeve coming on the line.
"Fara?"
"Yes? Reeve, is this important? I'm busy right now," she said, more harshly than she meant. Normally, she would've welcomed the momentary distraction, but because of the strain she was under, she simply didn't care.
"There's a Bill Grey here to see you."
Fara blinked. Shit, was that today? She cleared her throat, struggling to tidy up her desk quickly, instead managing to overturn her coffee mug, spilling the hot black liquid everywhere. Fara hissed, a string of expletives whistling under her breath as she pushed papers away from the mess, up righting her cup and staring dismally at the ruined documents. Fara exhaled sharply, pressing the heels of her paws to her eyes, struggling to collect herself. Briefly, she contemplated canceling her appointments for the rest of the day to crawl under her desk and cry her eyes out.
"Uh, Fara?"
Fara sat back in her chair, futilely attempting to make herself more presentable.
"Send him in."
The door nob rattled, and in stepped a dog: tall, grey, and a mix of several different breeds, resulting in a muscular, floppy-eared mutt, who strolled loosely into her office. He was dressed sharply in his Katina military uniform, spiky grey bangs falling over a pair of sunglasses, a line of piercings in one ear, the other bare.
He smiled politely, extending his paw, ignoring the mess the desk and her slightly disheveled appearance. "Hey there," he started, his wink hidden behind his shades. "Bill Grey, representative from the Katina Air Force."
Fara plastered a fake grin on her face, returning his civilities. "Fara Phoenix, Spaceship Magistrate, C.E.O. of Phoenix Inc," she said, mustering up all the confidence she might possess, her British accent sharp and clear. She shook his paw, blushing slightly when he turned her palm down, laying a kiss atop her paw.
"Pleasure to meet you," he grinned, releasing her paw and slouching into a chair. Fara blinked, slightly taken aback by his casual and easygoing manner. She returned a forced smile, sitting down. "Before we begin, would you like anything? Something to drink perhaps?"
Bill shrugged carelessly, eyes roaming about her large office, occasionally throwing furtive glances her way. "Whatever. Anything's fine."
Fara nodded, feeling the heat rush to her face once more. "Reeve?" she called, pressing the intercom.
"Yeah?"
"A glass of water for Mr. Grey, please. Oh, and another coffee."
"Comin' up."
Fara placed her paws in front of herself on the desk, linking her slender fingers together. "Mr. Grey, I assume this is about Katina's contract with the corporation?"
"Yes Ma'am. But, you can call me Bill."
Reeve chose to make his entrance then, handing a glass of water to Bill with a curt nod, turning to Fara, placing the steaming mug on her desk, retrieving the last. He surveyed the damage on her desk with a quick sweep of his eyes, raising his eyebrows in a silent query. Fara nodded, indicating that she was fine, and Reeve shrugged slightly, making his way to the door. He stopped when he reached it, and, making sure that Bill didn't see him, nodded his head at the dog and pretended to gag himself with his finger before leaving.
Fara simpered slightly into her mug of coffee. Apparently, they hadn't bonded well in the waiting room.
She set her cup down, returning to Bill, who was staring into his glass, one finger idly circling the rim. Feeling Fara's eyes on him, he looked up, flashing a lopsided grin. "Well?"
"Your military's contract is up, Mr. Grey."
"That's why I'm here. And I told you, it's Bill."
"The contract should have been renewed last week. And I prefer Mr. Grey."
"Can't you make an exception?" he asked, pouting. When he received no response from Fara save a cold stare, he dropped his gaze to his glass of water again, fidgeting slightly.
Fara sighed. What kind of bloody idiot... "Is this a joke to you, Mr. Grey?"
Bill shifted again in his chair, using his free paw to tug at the collar of his dress uniform jacket. "No, Ma'am, it's just..." he trailed off, choosing his words carefully. "I guess I'm not really used to this kind of thing. I was a commander in the war, and now, well....." He trailed off again, clearing his throat.
Fara softened, realizing that just like her, he was thrust into a higher position he wasn't ready for. Flirting was his way of dealing with it. After all, she wasn't really....
"I understand. I'll review your contract later today. Make another appointment, and we'll talk about the changes, okay?"
Bill nodded, flashing more shy grin. He stood up, setting the glass of water on her desk and bowing slightly. He smirked, looking down at the glass. "Next time, I hope you can keep your assistant from spitting in the guest's water."
Fara jumped slightly, her cheeks burning red. Bill sauntered over to the door, leaving her with another wink.
Fara blinked, staring down at her desk, wondering just what the hell had transpired. Bill Grey was unlike any of the other military types she'd met; laid-back, flirtatious, calm. There was something mellow and Zen-like about him, as if he let the world just roll off his back.
The unannounced arrival of Reeve tore her from her reverie.
"S'up?" he asked, strolling loosely into her office, stopping to lean against her desk. He looked down at her, lightly playing with one of the whiskers on his kittenish face. Fara looked up, a genuine smile on her face. A tired smile, but genuine nonetheless.
"Not much. I'm throwing myself out the window after lunch."
"Oh, that again, huh? Can I have your car?"
Fara rolled her eyes, leaning back, resting her chin on one paw. "So I see that you don't like Bill Grey."
Reeve snorted in reply. "How'd you guess? Was I that obvious?"
"You didn't have to spit in his drink."
Reeve rolled his eyes. "Please. Tell me you don't like the guy. He flirts with everything."
Fara smirked. "And you don't?"
Reeve pouted slightly, glaring down at her. "Oh, and what are you implying? Hey, I'm not the office slut...."
Fara simpered, reaching for her cup of coffee. "That's not what my executive board tells me."
Reeve winced, blushing furiously as he jumped off her desk. Fara's laughter echoed in his ears as fled the room, muttering a series of oaths under his breath.
One week later, Phoenix Inc., Corneria City
Fara quickened her pace, the clack of her heels muted and soft on the carpet, death grip on her briefcase. She'd finally gotten a substantial amount of sleep that night, looking smart and seemly in her tailored business suit, radiating an aura of professionalism and stoicism.
She finally arrived at her office, entering the small waiting room where Reeve was stationed at. He was hunched over his desk, cheek resting on one paw, for once filling out his paperwork properly, neatly. And that usually meant one of two things; he was either spastically happy, or severely pissed, and judging by the look on his face, it had to have been the latter.
"Reeve?" Fara questioned quietly, hugging her folders more tightly to her chest to keep from dropping them. "You okay?"
The panther finally returned her gaze, daggers dancing in them, his upper lip slightly curled. "It's in your office. I let him go in there because I couldn't stand him."
"It?"
"Yeah, it," Reeve huffed, returning to his form. "Y'know, that tick magnet, Bill Grey."
Fara snickered, walking over to the entrance to her office. She glanced back at Reeve, who stared darkly down at his desk, paws scribbling away. She smiled again, slipping into her office, closing the door behind her with a soft, audible click.
"Well, hello there," a smooth yet husky voice greeted her. Fara smiled back politely, trying to control her blush.
"Nice to see you again," she mumbled, pretending to make herself busy with the mountains of paperwork on her desk.
"Pleasure's all mine," Bill replied, Fara unable to hide her blush this time. She was never very good at flirting, giving up on being pretty long ago. She never knew quite what to say, scared, terrified to say anything, lest the recipient of her affections think her ugly.
She cleared her throat, sitting down, her face still warm. Bill sat across from her, slouched in his chair almost liquid-like, as if he might fall out of his seat completely.
"Well?" he asked, raising one eyebrow above the shadow of his sunglasses.
Fara smiled briefly, jade eyes dropping down to the contract in her paws. "Everything seems to be in order. Katina's military will be issued its total order of new ships for next year. All I need now is your signature, Mr. Grey."
She pushed the contract across her desk, holding out a pen for him. Bill stood up, leaning over her desk, reaching for the pen, catching her hand in his. She pulled back, but he held firm, flashing her another pearly white grin.
"I told you, it's Bill."
Fara nodded, looking away, blushing once again. She heard the scratch of the pen, the muffled clatter as he set it back on her desk. He sat back down, and it was quiet then. Nervously, Fara risked a glance upwards. He was staring at her, she knew, even with the shroud of his sunglasses. She swallowed, pulling her ears against her head.
"What.....what are looking at?" She finally asked, flustered, scornful, voice trembling.
Bill simply looked back, his smile growing wider, lighting up his dashing face. "You wouldn't want to ever see me again, would you?"
Fara jumped slightly, looking back down, the anger gone, unbelief settling into its place. "What are you getting at?" she asked, barely above a whisper, unwilling to meet his eyes. She felt him move closer, swallowing as he tipped her head up, forcing her to look at him.
"You've been hurt a lot before, huh?"
She looked away, her silence incriminating her.
"Miss Phoenix, I would never...."
He stopped, sat down again, pulling his sunglasses off, nearly blushing, feeling almost vulnerable without his shades to hide behind. Fara smiled, at the gesture, mildly shocked to find that his eyes were two different colors, one blue and the other brown.
"Let me take you out to dinner?"
Fara's smiled widened, blushing and not caring as she ducked her head.
"It's Fara," she said simply, and Bill returned the grin.
two days later, at a posh restaurant downtown Corneria City
Fara couldn't help but giggle as Bill fidgeted again in tuxedo, struggling not to spill his wine, as he'd already done that twice during dinner. Bill grinned, saddened slightly when she covered her laugh behind one paw.
Much of the evening was spent with Bill regaling Fara of old war tales, blatantly embellishing his accomplishments. Fara would giggle, hiding her face behind her wine glass, speaking very little. Even so, her said much more, shyly staring at the table as she idly ran her fingers along onr of her dress straps.
"God, you're so pretty," he said sincerely, and Fara couldn't do much more than blush.
Her first time came short and swiftly after; the evening had been perfect, and Fara was terrified to let it end. They'd gone back to his apartment, light jazz playing softly in the mellow, rich light. Bill settled his paws at her waist, pulling her into his lap and she let him. It was unfulfilling and mercifully short, yet strangely beautiful for all its purity and brutality.
And when it was over, he held her as she cried.
The next morning was unawkward yet unpleasant; she dressed quickly and left, giving him a kiss on the cheek before leaving.
It was days again before Fara next saw Bill, a surprise visit at the office, flowers in paw, face dark with guilt. She'd seen him earlier, near the stairwell with one of the secretaries, and he knew it.
He smiled shyly, presenting her with the bouquet, marveling at the blush imbibing her cheeks. She was most beautiful then, the pinkish hue painted across her face as if washing away the strain of daily life, returning her face to its pretty splendor.
He had no prepared words to exchange, and neither did she, and both knew it was a bad idea she hiked up her skirt and he pressed her against the desk. Reeve buzzed the intercom then, but Fara ignored him, and he did not bother her again.
the following day, Phoenix Inc., Corneria City
She could tell it was bad news, as soon as Reeve announced Bill's arrival, and the anger and hurt in his voice informed Fara that he knew something had happened between them. She accepted, and Bill sauntered in, the grin on his face merely a ghost of its former radiance. Fara plastered on her own fake smile, bracing herself for what was to come next.
"Fara...." Bill started, swallowing, paws tucking into his pockets, thankful for the veil of his sunglasses. He knew he could not force himself to meet her stare.
It happened again, quietly this time, bittersweet as she moved against him, Bill reveling in the feel of her fur beneath his fingers. It said more than either of them could, and Fara was relieved and saddened at the same time to realize that it was truly over.
He had already dressed by the time she had finished with her reverie, pulling a blanket he'd taken from the couch around her shoulders. He kissed her forehead, and she must've whimpered, because Bill suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders, giving her a gentle shake to force her to look up.
"Fara..." he said softly, as if it were the last time he'd ever speak her name. "Don't you do it. Don't dare. Don't cry, Fara. Promise."
She smiled slightly, a quiet laugh devoid of mirth. She nodded, and he gave her cheek one last caress. He swore under his breath and left.
It was only a short time before she broke her promise, but he'd broken his first.