DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.
NOTES: Legolas's POV
A Secret Shared - Chapter 12
My heart raced as I helped Aragorn to lie on the bed. I heard him groan in pain, and hurriedly lit the candles in the room so as to see his wounds better. A small dagger stuck into his stomach, a little blood oozing out from around the edges of its blade. Looking to Aragorn's face, I saw his eyes had closed.
"I thought it was you," I whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. I don't think he heard me. Then, hearing approaching footsteps and voices, I stepped back, and stood aside, allowing Lord Elrond to tend to my beloved's wound.
I had been pushed out of the room eventually; Lord Elrond had become irritated at my presence in the room, for I was not doing anything to help. I tried to help, but only got in the way. So feeling bewildered, I stepped outside into the night air, walking deep into the gardens. It was only when I was far away from the house, far from anyone, that I allowed myself to cry.
How could I have done that to Aragorn? How could I have mistaken Boromir for him? I slumped down against a tree, and buried my face in my hands. In one moment, all my joy and happiness had come crashing down around my ears. One minute I felt sure that Aragorn was pleasuring me, and felt a surge of joy and contentment within my heart. I even cried out his name! Then he appeared at the door, and seeing the look on his face made me feel as if my heart was going to break.
I felt disgusted with myself, so dirty, so foul. My own being repulsed me. Jumping up, I ran back to the house and drew a bath, scrubbing at my skin until it was red raw and hurt all over, bleeding scratches here and there from rubbing too hard with the rough washcloth. Then I drew another bath, and rubbed my skin all over with the soap, then rinsed myself off. Then I washed my hair three times, wanting to remove any suggestion of my mistake from my body, imagining dirt still all over me. I only stopped when I heard a knock at the door, and a soft female voice calling to me.
"Legolas? Are you there? It is Arwen."
I hurriedly pulled on clothes, and went to the door.
She flung her arms around my neck as I opened the door, pulling me close to her.
"I heard what happened," she said.
Pulling away, I led her into the room and motioned for her to take the seat, and sitting on the edge of the bed, facing her.
"He will be okay you know. My Father is one of the best healers in Middle Earth," she stated as she sat down.
"Its all my fault, I should have realised it wasn't him," I said, fighting back the tears.
"Do you want to tell me everything that happened?" she asked, "I won't tell anyone, not even Father."
I sighed. "I do not wish to pain you with the knowledge, I know you still feel for Aragorn."
"That is true, but I know we were not meant to be. It is you, Legolas, and Aragorn, who were destined to be together."
"It won't happen now," I answered morosely.
"Tell me what happened, please," she begged
"Alright, I shall, but I wish you would not ask me this; for I do not want to sadden you," I relented.
"Aragorn and I...we planned to...we planned to show each other the full extent of our love," I chose my words carefully, taking my time over the way I said it.
Arwen nodded, understanding, and I continued.
"We decided to meet here, in my room, as it is furthest away from the rest of the house, we did not want to disturb anybody. He was going to knock in a particular way when he arrived. I waited, and when I heard that special knock, I put out the candles in order to allow only moonlight in the room..." I paused, feeling a little embarrassed. "I thought it would be more romantic."
Arwen smiled a little at that notion, and nodded for me to carry on.
"In the moonlight, only silhouettes and shadows were visible; I believed it was Aragorn who entered the room, for although he said nothing, the way he knocked suggested it was him. I assumed it was, for we had arranged this in private, far from anyone...I guess it was not private enough.
"We kissed, and...and one thing led to another, and...and I guess he must have heard me call out his name, for I never heard a knock, only the sound of his voice when he entered the room." I could not bring myself to detail everything, and knew Arwen probably wouldn't wish to hear it either.
"So you believed it was Aragorn in the room, not Boromir?"
I winced at the other man's name.
"Yes," I answered, my voice small. "And now I have lost him forever."
"Aragorn is a reasonable man, he always has been. Explain to him your mistake, and how Boromir deceived you, and he will understand. Don't lose hope," Arwen said kindly.
"I do so hope he will forgive this terrible mistake," I said. "I have to admit, I have been feeling...attracted...to Boromir these last few days, yet at the same time repulsed. I was severely confused by this...now I know that I hate him."
Arwen looked angered when I mentioned how I'd felt attracted to Boromir, then her expression softened as I explained how he repulsed me too, and I was unsure how I felt. She nodded in agreement when I told her I hated him.
"He tried to seduce you, Legolas," she said. "Somehow he saw through the act you and Aragorn have been playing so well, and tried to destroy what you both have. I too, despise this man, it is those like him that prevent the Eldar from having faith in mankind."
We sat in silence for a little while.
"I hope Aragorn is alright," I said.
"He will be. Father has given him a potion to make the wound heal. He shall sleep for a few days, but he shall be fine." She stood up.
"I must go. Please remember that I am here if you need to talk...about anything," she said, as she walked to the door. "It is not your fault, all this. You are not the one in the wrong. Do not forget that."
I rose to see her out, and she turned back to me. "Do not be cruel to yourself," she said, and pulling out a handkerchief, she stepped towards me and held it to my cheek. Drawing it away, she revealed a bit of blood marking the whiteness of the handkerchief. I put my hand to my cheek to feel a bleeding scratch, and other smaller scratches that had already healed over. She placed the handkerchief in my hand. "Take care, my friend."
"Thank you," I whispered, and with that she left.
I spent hours after my conversation with Arwen contemplating the events of the past night. I could see how she could say that it was not my fault, yet it still seemed that it was: I should have realised that it was not Aragorn. The bleeding scratch on my cheek healed after I blotted it a little more with Arwen's handkerchief. I then washed it, trying to get every trace of blood from it. Leaving it to dry, I reminded myself to return it to her.
I could not wait until I could see Aragorn again, to explain what had happened to him - hoping that he would understand.
Lord Elrond would not let me sit at his bedside, despite my argument that he was a very good friend to me, and that he sat at my bedside after I was injured by Orcs. Aragorn did more than that for me, I recalled. Aragorn brought me back from the brink of death. Elrond told me he understood that Aragorn and I were close; he said that it was probably partly due to the ritual they used in which Aragorn's soul and my soul were merged for a time - the ritual that saved my life.
But despite my begging, he would still not allow me to see him. I was mildly irritated by this, as he allowed Aragorn to do such a thing before. I think maybe he was bothered by the fact nobody would tell him exactly what was going on in that room.
Boromir had had his cuts and bruises tended to, and the arrow I had implanted into his arm removed, and he had been sent home with a group of elves as an escort, one of them carrying a message to the Steward of Gondor to explain Boromir's wounds, and to say that he would not be welcome in Rivendell until he was invited, if such an event would ever arise. It was a weight from my shoulders to have Boromir gone; yet still I bore the weight of worrying about Aragorn.
Then, one day Elrond had told me, "You may speak with your friend for only a short while, if he has awoken, and *only* if he is willing to speak with anyone - the potion I gave him will make him drowsy."
I was overjoyed to hear this, and waited impatiently outside his room, pacing up and down. I could hear conversation inside, and my heart lifted a little to know that Aragorn was finally awake.
When Elrond came out of the room, I stepped forward to enter, but he stopped me, saying words that struck my heart with the devastating effect of lightning hitting a tree.
"He does not wish to see you."
NOTES: Legolas's POV
A Secret Shared - Chapter 12
My heart raced as I helped Aragorn to lie on the bed. I heard him groan in pain, and hurriedly lit the candles in the room so as to see his wounds better. A small dagger stuck into his stomach, a little blood oozing out from around the edges of its blade. Looking to Aragorn's face, I saw his eyes had closed.
"I thought it was you," I whispered, placing a hand on his cheek. I don't think he heard me. Then, hearing approaching footsteps and voices, I stepped back, and stood aside, allowing Lord Elrond to tend to my beloved's wound.
I had been pushed out of the room eventually; Lord Elrond had become irritated at my presence in the room, for I was not doing anything to help. I tried to help, but only got in the way. So feeling bewildered, I stepped outside into the night air, walking deep into the gardens. It was only when I was far away from the house, far from anyone, that I allowed myself to cry.
How could I have done that to Aragorn? How could I have mistaken Boromir for him? I slumped down against a tree, and buried my face in my hands. In one moment, all my joy and happiness had come crashing down around my ears. One minute I felt sure that Aragorn was pleasuring me, and felt a surge of joy and contentment within my heart. I even cried out his name! Then he appeared at the door, and seeing the look on his face made me feel as if my heart was going to break.
I felt disgusted with myself, so dirty, so foul. My own being repulsed me. Jumping up, I ran back to the house and drew a bath, scrubbing at my skin until it was red raw and hurt all over, bleeding scratches here and there from rubbing too hard with the rough washcloth. Then I drew another bath, and rubbed my skin all over with the soap, then rinsed myself off. Then I washed my hair three times, wanting to remove any suggestion of my mistake from my body, imagining dirt still all over me. I only stopped when I heard a knock at the door, and a soft female voice calling to me.
"Legolas? Are you there? It is Arwen."
I hurriedly pulled on clothes, and went to the door.
She flung her arms around my neck as I opened the door, pulling me close to her.
"I heard what happened," she said.
Pulling away, I led her into the room and motioned for her to take the seat, and sitting on the edge of the bed, facing her.
"He will be okay you know. My Father is one of the best healers in Middle Earth," she stated as she sat down.
"Its all my fault, I should have realised it wasn't him," I said, fighting back the tears.
"Do you want to tell me everything that happened?" she asked, "I won't tell anyone, not even Father."
I sighed. "I do not wish to pain you with the knowledge, I know you still feel for Aragorn."
"That is true, but I know we were not meant to be. It is you, Legolas, and Aragorn, who were destined to be together."
"It won't happen now," I answered morosely.
"Tell me what happened, please," she begged
"Alright, I shall, but I wish you would not ask me this; for I do not want to sadden you," I relented.
"Aragorn and I...we planned to...we planned to show each other the full extent of our love," I chose my words carefully, taking my time over the way I said it.
Arwen nodded, understanding, and I continued.
"We decided to meet here, in my room, as it is furthest away from the rest of the house, we did not want to disturb anybody. He was going to knock in a particular way when he arrived. I waited, and when I heard that special knock, I put out the candles in order to allow only moonlight in the room..." I paused, feeling a little embarrassed. "I thought it would be more romantic."
Arwen smiled a little at that notion, and nodded for me to carry on.
"In the moonlight, only silhouettes and shadows were visible; I believed it was Aragorn who entered the room, for although he said nothing, the way he knocked suggested it was him. I assumed it was, for we had arranged this in private, far from anyone...I guess it was not private enough.
"We kissed, and...and one thing led to another, and...and I guess he must have heard me call out his name, for I never heard a knock, only the sound of his voice when he entered the room." I could not bring myself to detail everything, and knew Arwen probably wouldn't wish to hear it either.
"So you believed it was Aragorn in the room, not Boromir?"
I winced at the other man's name.
"Yes," I answered, my voice small. "And now I have lost him forever."
"Aragorn is a reasonable man, he always has been. Explain to him your mistake, and how Boromir deceived you, and he will understand. Don't lose hope," Arwen said kindly.
"I do so hope he will forgive this terrible mistake," I said. "I have to admit, I have been feeling...attracted...to Boromir these last few days, yet at the same time repulsed. I was severely confused by this...now I know that I hate him."
Arwen looked angered when I mentioned how I'd felt attracted to Boromir, then her expression softened as I explained how he repulsed me too, and I was unsure how I felt. She nodded in agreement when I told her I hated him.
"He tried to seduce you, Legolas," she said. "Somehow he saw through the act you and Aragorn have been playing so well, and tried to destroy what you both have. I too, despise this man, it is those like him that prevent the Eldar from having faith in mankind."
We sat in silence for a little while.
"I hope Aragorn is alright," I said.
"He will be. Father has given him a potion to make the wound heal. He shall sleep for a few days, but he shall be fine." She stood up.
"I must go. Please remember that I am here if you need to talk...about anything," she said, as she walked to the door. "It is not your fault, all this. You are not the one in the wrong. Do not forget that."
I rose to see her out, and she turned back to me. "Do not be cruel to yourself," she said, and pulling out a handkerchief, she stepped towards me and held it to my cheek. Drawing it away, she revealed a bit of blood marking the whiteness of the handkerchief. I put my hand to my cheek to feel a bleeding scratch, and other smaller scratches that had already healed over. She placed the handkerchief in my hand. "Take care, my friend."
"Thank you," I whispered, and with that she left.
I spent hours after my conversation with Arwen contemplating the events of the past night. I could see how she could say that it was not my fault, yet it still seemed that it was: I should have realised that it was not Aragorn. The bleeding scratch on my cheek healed after I blotted it a little more with Arwen's handkerchief. I then washed it, trying to get every trace of blood from it. Leaving it to dry, I reminded myself to return it to her.
I could not wait until I could see Aragorn again, to explain what had happened to him - hoping that he would understand.
Lord Elrond would not let me sit at his bedside, despite my argument that he was a very good friend to me, and that he sat at my bedside after I was injured by Orcs. Aragorn did more than that for me, I recalled. Aragorn brought me back from the brink of death. Elrond told me he understood that Aragorn and I were close; he said that it was probably partly due to the ritual they used in which Aragorn's soul and my soul were merged for a time - the ritual that saved my life.
But despite my begging, he would still not allow me to see him. I was mildly irritated by this, as he allowed Aragorn to do such a thing before. I think maybe he was bothered by the fact nobody would tell him exactly what was going on in that room.
Boromir had had his cuts and bruises tended to, and the arrow I had implanted into his arm removed, and he had been sent home with a group of elves as an escort, one of them carrying a message to the Steward of Gondor to explain Boromir's wounds, and to say that he would not be welcome in Rivendell until he was invited, if such an event would ever arise. It was a weight from my shoulders to have Boromir gone; yet still I bore the weight of worrying about Aragorn.
Then, one day Elrond had told me, "You may speak with your friend for only a short while, if he has awoken, and *only* if he is willing to speak with anyone - the potion I gave him will make him drowsy."
I was overjoyed to hear this, and waited impatiently outside his room, pacing up and down. I could hear conversation inside, and my heart lifted a little to know that Aragorn was finally awake.
When Elrond came out of the room, I stepped forward to enter, but he stopped me, saying words that struck my heart with the devastating effect of lightning hitting a tree.
"He does not wish to see you."