DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.
NOTES: Legolas's POV
A Secret Shared - Chapter 16
My heart already felt shattered when the news that Aragorn would not see me reached my ears. I had excused myself from Arwen's presence soon after our conversation, and retreated to my rooms, lying on my bed and crying like a child. I seemed to do that often. Not to mention how I spent so much time worrying about everything.
There was a time when I had no worries, when my only care was to avoid being tagged by my friends and brothers in our childhood games. But my childhood was over many years ago now, and I am an adult. And in losing my childhood, I soon lost my naivety, and became weighed down with responsibility and the worries that adulthood brings.
I did not mind some of the things that were brought with adulthood. Like the way I was no longer turned away from those I yearned for, lusted after, instead being welcomed into their arms...and their beds. Once I would have gone to anyone, if only to gain some pleasure. Yet now the only arms I wanted to be in, the only bed I wanted to lie in, was Aragorn's.
Sitting up, I wiped my eyes, and went to the window. Outside, I could see others of my kin going about their daily business, all looking content and happy. The sun was shining brightly on me, yet I did not feel its warmth. I wished for the sky to cloud over, for the rain to pour down, a harsh wind to blow - anything that would mirror the feeling inside me.
My heart felt a little more hopeful as a realisation hit me: as long as Aragorn and I were in the same house, in the same kingdom, he could not avoid seeing me; he could not avoid speaking to me else he would arouse suspicion as to why. And I hoped that in the small times I would be able to talk to him, that I could win him back; get him to see how sorry I was for our misunderstanding, and how much I truly do love him.
As well as sad, I felt angry. Angry that I had allowed Boromir to try and seduce me. He wormed his way into my thoughts with the merest of touches, the briefest of kisses. He should be glad to be leaving Rivendell, for he would be sorry to meet me if he had stayed. I was angry with Lord Elrond, for pushing me out of the door, not allowing me to watch over Aragorn - he allowed Aragorn to watch over me! I was even angry with Aragorn, for not allowing me to see him, allowing me to say my piece
But most of all, I was angry at myself, for pinching out the candles, causing it to be too dark to see clearly despite the hauntingly romantic glow of the moon; angry for being too caught up in the immense tension of the moment to say a word to the figure than entered my room. Angry with myself for not thinking that one as poetic as Aragorn would speak sweet words to me before he did anything. I was even angry with myself for being angry!
I thumped the pillow, and sighed. Getting angry was getting me nowhere. I decided the best thing I could do was to try and see Aragorn. He may not wish to see me, but I needed to see him. With that, I left my room and made my way towards his chamber, determined to speak with him for even a moment.
I strode determinedly along the hallway to his door, determined to walk in and demand that he speak with me. But as I neared the door, I remembered my manners, and rapped softly upon the door with my knuckles. If he was asleep, I did not wish to wake him by bursting in, nor did I want to walk in whilst Lord Elrond or one of his healers was tending to Aragorn's wound, for that would only anger my host.
So I stood outside and waited until my knock was answered. Less than a few seconds after I had knocked, the door was pulled open and Lord Elrond peered out.
"Legolas, what did you want?" he inquired. I looked past him into the room, catching Aragorn's eye. He broke eye contact, turning his head away, and I looked back to lord Elrond, realising he was awaiting an answer.
"I wished to see Aragorn," I admitted, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, and staring at my feet hoping that I wasn't blushing.
"He does not wish to see anyone at this moment," Elrond stated. "But he shall be up and about by tomorrow. You may speak to him then,"
I opened my mouth to point out that Arwen had been to see Aragorn, then thought better of it; for Elrond probably did not know of this.
"You have something else to say?" The elf lord saw my expression, and I cursed myself for not keeping my mouth closed.
"No...just...just give him my regards," I spluttered out, before dashing away down the hallway.
I would have to wait until tomorrow before I could speak with him, find out if I could gain his forgiveness for the dreadful mistake. And I knew it would be the longest wait of my life.
TBC
NOTES: Legolas's POV
A Secret Shared - Chapter 16
My heart already felt shattered when the news that Aragorn would not see me reached my ears. I had excused myself from Arwen's presence soon after our conversation, and retreated to my rooms, lying on my bed and crying like a child. I seemed to do that often. Not to mention how I spent so much time worrying about everything.
There was a time when I had no worries, when my only care was to avoid being tagged by my friends and brothers in our childhood games. But my childhood was over many years ago now, and I am an adult. And in losing my childhood, I soon lost my naivety, and became weighed down with responsibility and the worries that adulthood brings.
I did not mind some of the things that were brought with adulthood. Like the way I was no longer turned away from those I yearned for, lusted after, instead being welcomed into their arms...and their beds. Once I would have gone to anyone, if only to gain some pleasure. Yet now the only arms I wanted to be in, the only bed I wanted to lie in, was Aragorn's.
Sitting up, I wiped my eyes, and went to the window. Outside, I could see others of my kin going about their daily business, all looking content and happy. The sun was shining brightly on me, yet I did not feel its warmth. I wished for the sky to cloud over, for the rain to pour down, a harsh wind to blow - anything that would mirror the feeling inside me.
My heart felt a little more hopeful as a realisation hit me: as long as Aragorn and I were in the same house, in the same kingdom, he could not avoid seeing me; he could not avoid speaking to me else he would arouse suspicion as to why. And I hoped that in the small times I would be able to talk to him, that I could win him back; get him to see how sorry I was for our misunderstanding, and how much I truly do love him.
As well as sad, I felt angry. Angry that I had allowed Boromir to try and seduce me. He wormed his way into my thoughts with the merest of touches, the briefest of kisses. He should be glad to be leaving Rivendell, for he would be sorry to meet me if he had stayed. I was angry with Lord Elrond, for pushing me out of the door, not allowing me to watch over Aragorn - he allowed Aragorn to watch over me! I was even angry with Aragorn, for not allowing me to see him, allowing me to say my piece
But most of all, I was angry at myself, for pinching out the candles, causing it to be too dark to see clearly despite the hauntingly romantic glow of the moon; angry for being too caught up in the immense tension of the moment to say a word to the figure than entered my room. Angry with myself for not thinking that one as poetic as Aragorn would speak sweet words to me before he did anything. I was even angry with myself for being angry!
I thumped the pillow, and sighed. Getting angry was getting me nowhere. I decided the best thing I could do was to try and see Aragorn. He may not wish to see me, but I needed to see him. With that, I left my room and made my way towards his chamber, determined to speak with him for even a moment.
I strode determinedly along the hallway to his door, determined to walk in and demand that he speak with me. But as I neared the door, I remembered my manners, and rapped softly upon the door with my knuckles. If he was asleep, I did not wish to wake him by bursting in, nor did I want to walk in whilst Lord Elrond or one of his healers was tending to Aragorn's wound, for that would only anger my host.
So I stood outside and waited until my knock was answered. Less than a few seconds after I had knocked, the door was pulled open and Lord Elrond peered out.
"Legolas, what did you want?" he inquired. I looked past him into the room, catching Aragorn's eye. He broke eye contact, turning his head away, and I looked back to lord Elrond, realising he was awaiting an answer.
"I wished to see Aragorn," I admitted, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, and staring at my feet hoping that I wasn't blushing.
"He does not wish to see anyone at this moment," Elrond stated. "But he shall be up and about by tomorrow. You may speak to him then,"
I opened my mouth to point out that Arwen had been to see Aragorn, then thought better of it; for Elrond probably did not know of this.
"You have something else to say?" The elf lord saw my expression, and I cursed myself for not keeping my mouth closed.
"No...just...just give him my regards," I spluttered out, before dashing away down the hallway.
I would have to wait until tomorrow before I could speak with him, find out if I could gain his forgiveness for the dreadful mistake. And I knew it would be the longest wait of my life.
TBC