DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Don't sue. I'm broke.
NOTES: Aragorn's POV.
A Secret Shared - Chapter 17
Lord Elrond closed the door again, and I turned my head back to look at him. He looked a little surprised for a moment, but he quickly changed his expression to the serious one he always wore when he noticed I was looking at him.
"Legolas sends his regards," he said, watching me closely to see my reaction. I said nothing, keeping my expression as unchanged as possible, and merely nodded in acknowledgement to his words.
He finished replacing the bandages on my stomach - a task that he had been interrupted from by Legolas.
As he did so, I turned my thoughts to the pretty elf, thinking about the way his blond hair blew in the breeze, and the joy in his eyes when he was happy. Then I reminded myself I was angry with him, hurt by his actions, and frowned a little.
"Did that hurt?" Lord Elrond saw my expression.
"Oh, no my lord...I was thinking of other matters," I replied quickly. He just raised an eyebrow and went back to dressing my wound.
"You should be up and about tomorrow," he told me as he finished. "Take it easy mind."
"I can deal with it," I said to him, smiling gratefully.
"I am aware of that, son of Arathorn. Your years as a ranger have toughened you greatly, but that does not mean you should not be careful after receiving a wound such as this."
"Yes my lord. Thank you," I replied, wanting him to go away and leave me to my thoughts.
It was as if he had read my mind, for just then he said, "Now I shall go and attend to my other business, and leave you to your thoughts. I shall see you at breakfast tomorrow." With that, he left.
And I stared up at the ceiling, returning to my earlier thoughts.
***
I awoke the next day feeling a lot better than I had done for the past few days. The healing potion I had been given had worn off entirely, and I felt wide-awake and full of energy. Getting out of bed, I stood and pulled at the bandages around my stomach and saw that the wound had closed up leaving just a thin scab, which I could see would only leave a faint scar. Elvish medicine would never cease to amaze me.
I quickly dressed and hurried down to breakfast, for I was feeling incredibly hungry that morning. It was only as I was reaching the dining hall that I remembered something that made me slow in my pace. Legolas. I did not let myself meet his gaze as I entered the room; but sat in my seat and stared at my plate. Next to me, Arwen turned and placed a hand on my arm, I turned to look at her and she smiled slightly, and rolled her eyes meaningfully towards Legolas before looking back to me. I could almost hear her thinking, "*Talk* to him!" but I did not. Instead I dropped her gaze and returned my eyes to the plate in front of me, and heard her sigh a little as she took her hand from my arm. I kept peering at my plate all through breakfast, never once looking up - not to Legolas, Arwen, Elrond, or anybody.
After the meal, I made my was out of the room as quickly as possible, for I knew Legolas would try to speak to me the moment he got me alone. So I went out into the gardens, and swiftly disappeared into the trees before he would have to chance to see which direction I went in. once I was far into a patch of trees, I stopped, and leaned against a large oak tree, sighing. Alone at last. In peace to be with my thoughts.
I knew I must leave Rivendell soon. Although I had friends here, such as Arwen and Lord Elrond, I could not stay much longer whilst Legolas were here. Or maybe he would leave for Mirkwood, knowing that I would have nothing to do with him.
"We need to talk."
My thoughts were interrupted by a beautiful voice that I had longed to hear for so long, yet did not wish to hear at all. I looked up, to see Legolas standing before me.
"I know you left so soon after breakfast to get away from me," he said, hurt evident in his eyes. "But I must speak with you."
"You wish to try and put your own mind at rest, wash away the guilt you have from what you did - how you betrayed me?" I said, glaring at him. He looked taken aback.
"I feel guilt, that is true, but my intentions were not to cause you grief," he replied. "I come to you looking not for a peaceful mind, for I know of my mistakes; instead I look for your forgiveness, for your love," he said, his voice soft like the whispers of the trees.
"So you admit you made a mistake then," I said. "You come here and admit to me that you made an error, yet you inform me you were not trying to hurt me? You ask for my forgiveness?"
He looked to the ground "That is what I wish for."
"Legolas, the leaves will fall a thousand times before I even consider forgiving you. In fact, I do not believe I could ever forgive you. I do not wish to see you again. In your tryst with Boromir, you lost both my trust, and my love. I do not love you anymore Legolas," I said severely, hating myself for the harsh and untrue words I was saying. But that's all I could feel at the moment. Hate. And anger.
Legolas looked mortified. His eyes were widened and his mouth hung open in shock as he backed away from me.
"As you wish it," he said, his eyes glistening with tears. "I cannot switch off my love for you, but please let me tell you what I wished to tell you: When I was receiving pleasure, I believed it was you...now I shall leave you alone, as you wish."
And with that he sprinted away, disappearing amongst the trees.
I sighed, feeling bad about my harsh words to him. I did still care about him, yet how I could when he had done so a cruel thing to me as lay with another man? What I would give to have uncomplicated feelings. But then I would not be human.
Legolas seemed so upset. I had not seen him look like that is all the time I had known him, and we had been through many bad times before.
But I could not offer my forgiveness so easily. If it had been a mere kiss shared between the two men, that would have been easily forgiven. Mistakes like that are easily made, especially with those like Boromir, so ready to seduce others. But Legolas's mistake was greater than that, much more serious. He told me 'I thought it was you,' which is all very well, but how do I know he is not just saying that in an attempt to win me back? I could not forgive him so easily, even if this were true. Even with time, I did not know that I could pardon him for his mistake. I became lost in my thoughts as I wondered through the gardens.
It would take a lot for me to allow him my forgiveness.
TBC
NOTES: Aragorn's POV.
A Secret Shared - Chapter 17
Lord Elrond closed the door again, and I turned my head back to look at him. He looked a little surprised for a moment, but he quickly changed his expression to the serious one he always wore when he noticed I was looking at him.
"Legolas sends his regards," he said, watching me closely to see my reaction. I said nothing, keeping my expression as unchanged as possible, and merely nodded in acknowledgement to his words.
He finished replacing the bandages on my stomach - a task that he had been interrupted from by Legolas.
As he did so, I turned my thoughts to the pretty elf, thinking about the way his blond hair blew in the breeze, and the joy in his eyes when he was happy. Then I reminded myself I was angry with him, hurt by his actions, and frowned a little.
"Did that hurt?" Lord Elrond saw my expression.
"Oh, no my lord...I was thinking of other matters," I replied quickly. He just raised an eyebrow and went back to dressing my wound.
"You should be up and about tomorrow," he told me as he finished. "Take it easy mind."
"I can deal with it," I said to him, smiling gratefully.
"I am aware of that, son of Arathorn. Your years as a ranger have toughened you greatly, but that does not mean you should not be careful after receiving a wound such as this."
"Yes my lord. Thank you," I replied, wanting him to go away and leave me to my thoughts.
It was as if he had read my mind, for just then he said, "Now I shall go and attend to my other business, and leave you to your thoughts. I shall see you at breakfast tomorrow." With that, he left.
And I stared up at the ceiling, returning to my earlier thoughts.
***
I awoke the next day feeling a lot better than I had done for the past few days. The healing potion I had been given had worn off entirely, and I felt wide-awake and full of energy. Getting out of bed, I stood and pulled at the bandages around my stomach and saw that the wound had closed up leaving just a thin scab, which I could see would only leave a faint scar. Elvish medicine would never cease to amaze me.
I quickly dressed and hurried down to breakfast, for I was feeling incredibly hungry that morning. It was only as I was reaching the dining hall that I remembered something that made me slow in my pace. Legolas. I did not let myself meet his gaze as I entered the room; but sat in my seat and stared at my plate. Next to me, Arwen turned and placed a hand on my arm, I turned to look at her and she smiled slightly, and rolled her eyes meaningfully towards Legolas before looking back to me. I could almost hear her thinking, "*Talk* to him!" but I did not. Instead I dropped her gaze and returned my eyes to the plate in front of me, and heard her sigh a little as she took her hand from my arm. I kept peering at my plate all through breakfast, never once looking up - not to Legolas, Arwen, Elrond, or anybody.
After the meal, I made my was out of the room as quickly as possible, for I knew Legolas would try to speak to me the moment he got me alone. So I went out into the gardens, and swiftly disappeared into the trees before he would have to chance to see which direction I went in. once I was far into a patch of trees, I stopped, and leaned against a large oak tree, sighing. Alone at last. In peace to be with my thoughts.
I knew I must leave Rivendell soon. Although I had friends here, such as Arwen and Lord Elrond, I could not stay much longer whilst Legolas were here. Or maybe he would leave for Mirkwood, knowing that I would have nothing to do with him.
"We need to talk."
My thoughts were interrupted by a beautiful voice that I had longed to hear for so long, yet did not wish to hear at all. I looked up, to see Legolas standing before me.
"I know you left so soon after breakfast to get away from me," he said, hurt evident in his eyes. "But I must speak with you."
"You wish to try and put your own mind at rest, wash away the guilt you have from what you did - how you betrayed me?" I said, glaring at him. He looked taken aback.
"I feel guilt, that is true, but my intentions were not to cause you grief," he replied. "I come to you looking not for a peaceful mind, for I know of my mistakes; instead I look for your forgiveness, for your love," he said, his voice soft like the whispers of the trees.
"So you admit you made a mistake then," I said. "You come here and admit to me that you made an error, yet you inform me you were not trying to hurt me? You ask for my forgiveness?"
He looked to the ground "That is what I wish for."
"Legolas, the leaves will fall a thousand times before I even consider forgiving you. In fact, I do not believe I could ever forgive you. I do not wish to see you again. In your tryst with Boromir, you lost both my trust, and my love. I do not love you anymore Legolas," I said severely, hating myself for the harsh and untrue words I was saying. But that's all I could feel at the moment. Hate. And anger.
Legolas looked mortified. His eyes were widened and his mouth hung open in shock as he backed away from me.
"As you wish it," he said, his eyes glistening with tears. "I cannot switch off my love for you, but please let me tell you what I wished to tell you: When I was receiving pleasure, I believed it was you...now I shall leave you alone, as you wish."
And with that he sprinted away, disappearing amongst the trees.
I sighed, feeling bad about my harsh words to him. I did still care about him, yet how I could when he had done so a cruel thing to me as lay with another man? What I would give to have uncomplicated feelings. But then I would not be human.
Legolas seemed so upset. I had not seen him look like that is all the time I had known him, and we had been through many bad times before.
But I could not offer my forgiveness so easily. If it had been a mere kiss shared between the two men, that would have been easily forgiven. Mistakes like that are easily made, especially with those like Boromir, so ready to seduce others. But Legolas's mistake was greater than that, much more serious. He told me 'I thought it was you,' which is all very well, but how do I know he is not just saying that in an attempt to win me back? I could not forgive him so easily, even if this were true. Even with time, I did not know that I could pardon him for his mistake. I became lost in my thoughts as I wondered through the gardens.
It would take a lot for me to allow him my forgiveness.
TBC