DISCLAIMER: Not Mine. Don't sue, I'm broke.
NOTES: Legolas's POV.
A Secret Shared - Chapter 18
All is lost. No longer can I hold close the fact that the ma I desire wants me, loves me. He has shunned me. I ran blindly from the trees after hearing his words, not seeing where I was going, which direction I was heading in. Not caring.
Eventually I slowed my pace to a walk, although I could have carried on running for hours. I had come out in a secluded part of the gardens; it was empty of people. Tears still ran from my eyes, and I wiped at them with my hands. Not wanting to be anywhere but inside, in my rooms, I turned in the direction of the house, and slowly began to make my way there, the pain and grief I felt within my heart growing stronger with every footstep.
I reached the house within minutes, and went inside with my head down, not wanting anyone to see that I had been crying. Not looking where I was going, I walked into someone.
"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing past them to carry on along the hall. A hand grabbed my arm as I brushed past, and a soft voice called my name.
"Legolas? What is wrong?" I turned and looked at Arwen, who was standing there with a most anxious look upon her face. One look at my expression, and she pulled me into a nearby room, closing the door behind us after she saw it was empty. Then she pulled me into her arms, and held me whilst I let out all my grief, my tears coursing down my cheeks and onto her hair, looking like morning dew on a spiders web.
"He...he rejected me," I sobbed. "He told me he does not love me."
"My heart grieves for you, dear Legolas," Arwen whispered, "I grieve for both you and Aragorn, for he does not realise it is not only you who he is hurting, but himself."
Then she was silent as I continued to cry on her shoulder. How childish I felt, crying like a baby to its mother.
My heart felt heavy, and Aragorn's words swan around and around in my head.
"I do not love you anymore Legolas...I do not love you...do not love you..." To my mind, it was as if he was saying them right now, over and over again.
How could he turn me away? How could he not hear my words, how could he not believe me?
Never had I felt so terrible before. Not when Boromir stabbed him, not even when he refused to see him. His words had shocked me, and hit my heart and my mind like a ton of rocks. If Elbereth could hear me, this would not have happened. My only belief is that after life, there was nothing. I had nothing now. I had lost my faith in my beliefs. I had lost my faith in life. It is one thing to want something you never had, but it is a completely different thing to desperately want and need something you once had, that you know you will never have again. In losing Aragorn's love, I had lost my will to live.
"He does not love me," I whispered to myself. And gasped as suddenly I felt immense pain in my chest.
Arwen pulled back from me, her eyes scared. "Legolas?"
I could not say anything; it was all I could do to breathe properly. It felt as if I had something tied tight around my chest, preventing me from filling my lungs with air.
My heart raced, thundering in my chest and hammering against my ribcage. It hurt so much! My vision kept blurring, and everything was a daze as Arwen shifted me so I had an arm over her shoulders, helping me out of the room and up the stairs to my chambers. It know not whether it took seconds, minutes, or hours; time was nothing to me; it could have taken a lifetime for all I knew. Hurriedly she sat me on the bed, pushing me so I lay back and lifting my legs and pulling me around until I lay flat on my back on the bed.
"Legolas, stay with me," she said, crouching down and grasping my hand, squeezing it tightly.
"Hold on," she said desperately. "I told you never to give up hope, and you haven't yet. Don't let me down now."
She watched me for a few moments - seconds or minutes? I knew not - before she spoke again.
"Do not leave, please Legolas," she exclaimed, distraught. "My brother, do not give up hope." She stood, letting my hand slip from hers. "I am going to find Aragorn. Please do not give up hope yet. Do not lose faith."
With that she darted from the room. But I felt I had already lost faith. Concentrating on my breathing, I tried to hold onto reality as she had begged me to. I did not want to hurt her, my sister not by name or blood, but in my heart. But my heart was heavy. My heart hurt. My heart did not want to feel any more pain. And with that I felt a sleep-like state wash over me, and knew no more.
TBC...yes, to be continued! I am not through with these honeys yet ;)
NOTES: Legolas's POV.
A Secret Shared - Chapter 18
All is lost. No longer can I hold close the fact that the ma I desire wants me, loves me. He has shunned me. I ran blindly from the trees after hearing his words, not seeing where I was going, which direction I was heading in. Not caring.
Eventually I slowed my pace to a walk, although I could have carried on running for hours. I had come out in a secluded part of the gardens; it was empty of people. Tears still ran from my eyes, and I wiped at them with my hands. Not wanting to be anywhere but inside, in my rooms, I turned in the direction of the house, and slowly began to make my way there, the pain and grief I felt within my heart growing stronger with every footstep.
I reached the house within minutes, and went inside with my head down, not wanting anyone to see that I had been crying. Not looking where I was going, I walked into someone.
"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing past them to carry on along the hall. A hand grabbed my arm as I brushed past, and a soft voice called my name.
"Legolas? What is wrong?" I turned and looked at Arwen, who was standing there with a most anxious look upon her face. One look at my expression, and she pulled me into a nearby room, closing the door behind us after she saw it was empty. Then she pulled me into her arms, and held me whilst I let out all my grief, my tears coursing down my cheeks and onto her hair, looking like morning dew on a spiders web.
"He...he rejected me," I sobbed. "He told me he does not love me."
"My heart grieves for you, dear Legolas," Arwen whispered, "I grieve for both you and Aragorn, for he does not realise it is not only you who he is hurting, but himself."
Then she was silent as I continued to cry on her shoulder. How childish I felt, crying like a baby to its mother.
My heart felt heavy, and Aragorn's words swan around and around in my head.
"I do not love you anymore Legolas...I do not love you...do not love you..." To my mind, it was as if he was saying them right now, over and over again.
How could he turn me away? How could he not hear my words, how could he not believe me?
Never had I felt so terrible before. Not when Boromir stabbed him, not even when he refused to see him. His words had shocked me, and hit my heart and my mind like a ton of rocks. If Elbereth could hear me, this would not have happened. My only belief is that after life, there was nothing. I had nothing now. I had lost my faith in my beliefs. I had lost my faith in life. It is one thing to want something you never had, but it is a completely different thing to desperately want and need something you once had, that you know you will never have again. In losing Aragorn's love, I had lost my will to live.
"He does not love me," I whispered to myself. And gasped as suddenly I felt immense pain in my chest.
Arwen pulled back from me, her eyes scared. "Legolas?"
I could not say anything; it was all I could do to breathe properly. It felt as if I had something tied tight around my chest, preventing me from filling my lungs with air.
My heart raced, thundering in my chest and hammering against my ribcage. It hurt so much! My vision kept blurring, and everything was a daze as Arwen shifted me so I had an arm over her shoulders, helping me out of the room and up the stairs to my chambers. It know not whether it took seconds, minutes, or hours; time was nothing to me; it could have taken a lifetime for all I knew. Hurriedly she sat me on the bed, pushing me so I lay back and lifting my legs and pulling me around until I lay flat on my back on the bed.
"Legolas, stay with me," she said, crouching down and grasping my hand, squeezing it tightly.
"Hold on," she said desperately. "I told you never to give up hope, and you haven't yet. Don't let me down now."
She watched me for a few moments - seconds or minutes? I knew not - before she spoke again.
"Do not leave, please Legolas," she exclaimed, distraught. "My brother, do not give up hope." She stood, letting my hand slip from hers. "I am going to find Aragorn. Please do not give up hope yet. Do not lose faith."
With that she darted from the room. But I felt I had already lost faith. Concentrating on my breathing, I tried to hold onto reality as she had begged me to. I did not want to hurt her, my sister not by name or blood, but in my heart. But my heart was heavy. My heart hurt. My heart did not want to feel any more pain. And with that I felt a sleep-like state wash over me, and knew no more.
TBC...yes, to be continued! I am not through with these honeys yet ;)