*the consulting room's door opens*
Doctor: ...Jack? Raiden?
*a young blonde man, dressed in a weird latex suit, enters the consulting room and takes seat on the couch*
Raiden *staring at the Doctor, who has several bandages and cuts here and there*: …you are the doctor that is supposed to treat me?
Doctor: I am! Don't let the bandages fool you, this was just a nasty experience that I had with another patient some days ago… But I am the best psychotherapist available for you!
Raiden: And the best psychotherapist available gets attacked in the middle of a session?
Doctor: Oh, videogame character treatment is a very dangerous profession! You should have seen me at the end of the Street Fighter characters' therapy… I even got stabbes when I was treating Lara Croft's personality disorder…
Raiden: Eh? Lara Croft has a personality?
Doctor: That was exactly the question.
Raiden: …
Doctor: Hah! You are admiring my incredible amount of diplomas, aren't you?
Raiden *suspicious*: Yeah… but I just noticed… The five diplomas look exactly the same… in fact, they seem photoco-
Doctor: Nah!! That's the universities' problem, lack of originality. But let's stick to the subject *takes out a file from a drawer* Mr. Kojima has told me all your experiences…
Raiden: What?? How dare he?? I told him that that thing with Rose's sister and me was a secret!
Doctor: …
Raiden: …
Doctor: I meant all the experiences you have lived during the making of Metal Gear Solid 2.
Raiden: Oh… erm… but I took part in Metal Gear Solid 1 as well!
Doctor: Is that so?
Raiden *proud*: Yeah, I was one of the guards.
Doctor: And you did a very good job. Now, let's talk about your problems, mind you? It's obvious that everyone has been laying a huge responsibility over you.
Raiden: Of course! Snake didn't stop calling me "newbie", Rose wouldn't stop talking to me in the middle of a mortal figh, they had me fight a bisexual vampire-
Doctor *in a low voice*: ah, that one's gonna be fun…
Raiden: Mr. Kojima made me fight 20 Metal Gears, Solidus tried to kill me in a Harrier, and-
Doctor: Yeah, yeah, so I've heard.
Raiden: And then Emma complaining all the day, Fortune trying to toast me…
Doctor: I got the idea, thank you-
Raiden: All the crew laughing about my hair, all the training with the swords, the Ninja playing with me-
*a bell is heard in the other part of the room*
Raiden *looking there*: What…
Doctor *releases finger from under his desk*: Pay no attention to that. You were telling me about how are you feeling lately.
Raiden: …you sure I was?
Doctor *nods*
Raiden: Well, I'm quite better now. I don't care as much now, thanks to this friend I met, Dark Angel…
Doctor: Oh, God.
Raiden: What?
Doctor: Nothing, nothing, continue.
Raiden: You know Dark Angel?
Doctor: She is pretty known in our community… I'm still treating Aeris Gainsborough from low self-steem due to a certain fic…
Raiden: It was that important??
Doctor: Let's just say that the swimming pool of my house was built thanks to that fic.
Raiden *impressed*
Doctor: Anyway, I think I have something that might help you.
*the doctor opens the drawer, in which there's a TV*
*the doctor turns it on, puts a video, and presses Play*
Raiden: Huh? It's a part of the first Metal Gear Solid?
Colonel: …it's a Metal Gear.
Snake: A Metal Gear??
Otacon: I think it's C4.
Snake: C4??
Ninja: …a mine field.
Snake: A mine field??
*the doctor turns off the TV*
Raiden: But… but…
Doctor *satisfied*: It's cool, eh? Took me a couple of hours to learn how to use the capture editor, but-
Raiden: Snake… was repeating…
Doctor: Ah, you mean that. Yeah, he was repeating all he was told. Pretty annoying habit.
Raiden: …just like me!
Doctor: Yes, just as annoying. I mean –just like you.
Raiden: Then, it's not only my problem! Hah! I'm gonna call Snake right now to remember old times… let's see if he dares to call me newbie now!!
*Raiden leaves the consulting room running*
Doctor: Ah, well, one less.