Part 9: Questionable devotion
The trip back to Kyoto the next morning was worse than she had expected. To her dismay, Misanagi had come along, having some important business to take care with Aoshi.
When they arrived at the villa, Megumi went straight up to her room she'd occupy with Aoshi. She unpacked and then picked up the ornate wooden box holding the precious white jade clip. She couldn't resist opening the box and looking at them. They were so beautiful, but not for her. She snapped the box shut and placed it on the stand beside the bed. With nothing to do she paced the room, stood beside the window, and looked down on the courtyard. Her nerves were strung as tight as a bow string.
The situation was unbearable. She finally made a decision. She would tell Aoshi soon enough that their marriage was a mistake and she wished to terminate it. She was sitting beside the window when Aoshi came into the room. He looked at her like a stranger, his face is expressionless and his eyes are cold as ice.
"There's someone here to see you, he said he comes in peace. You know who I'm referring to."
For a moment she was speechless. Enishi! His persistence took him to the point that he even had present himself to the oniwabanshu's stronghold! She nearly has forgotten all about him, ever since the day of Aoshi's proposal. "Enishi? Yukishiro Enishi? B-but what would he be doing here?" she asked through stiff lips.
"How in the hell do I know? Go on down and see." She went to the door, but his next words stop her. "He did really want something important from you, didn't he?"
She turned to look at him, opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and went out the door. Her mind was spinning wildly. What would Enishi possibly want right now? Aoshi know her former relationship on the formidable enemy, and Enishi knew that his cover was blown and there is nothing else left to hide to blackmail her. It sends a chill on her spine, that this man would be into another scheming plot.and he wouldn't stop.
She descended the steps and overheard voices coming from the library. It was Enishi talking to Misanagi. She stood at the door and watched them for a moment. Enishi is putting on his deceiving casual charm for Misanagi, and the okashira was clearly looking impressed. How could she have blindly fall in love before to this manipulative, conceited man?
She noticed that he is wearing a new set of glasses on, he tipped on it lightly as he saw her; giving her brief glimpse of those cold unwavering green eyes. "Megumi, how nice it is to see you again."
"Enishi."
Misanagi threw her a vicious look and left the room.
Enishi came to her and took her hand before she could step away from him. He took it tightly, pressing it hard and she flinched as it hurts her, "I've missed you Megumi, I don't realized how much you meant while you are away." he look down on her and his mouth twisted cruelly with a cold smile.
Megumi jerked her hand from his and moved a few feet away from him. "Stop it! I know all your tricks, Enishi. I married now, but I presumed you already knew that's why you have the guts to come here."
He was quiet for a long moment, and then looked at her arrogantly. "I'll have to admit you are smarter than I gave you credit for, Megumi. You are true to your threat. You did get married to Shinomori Aoshi, and you did it convincingly as you want everyone to believe."
"That's not true! I do really care for him!"
"Let's face it, koishii." her blood begins to boil as he referred her as his lover, "Your motives to me are very crystal clear, you married Aoshi because you need security knowing well that the man is a good fighter and leader to that.to get away from me. But I think it's fair enough for him though."
She was perplexed, and her silence means she reluctantly wants him to explain. His green eyes lit up with some sardonic amusement. "Did you believe he married you for the reason he loves you? Aoshi is not foolish to give in easily to a woman's charm! He is using you as well as you use him."
Megumi recalled the conversation that Aoshi and Misanagi have secretly back in Osaka. She tried to deluge the thought, "No." she said firmly, gritting her teeth. "I'm afraid that's not it, Enishi." At least if he ever was, he never used me like you did, she swore silently.
"Then what is? Aoshi and Okina have a strained relationship. Have you ever wondered why the old man retires to Osaka and he, in Kyoto? The oniwabanshu is divided. He wants him to marry someone his choice, but what did he do? He rebels against him as always, that's why he married you instead."
Every word is a painful drop and might be as well the presumption she had in mind. She didn't have to wonder how Enishi can come with a conclusion; he is an intelligent, resourceful and dangerous man.
"You might as well know, I never forget a promise. I'll come to get you. Even if that means making you look foolish and a traitorous spy in front of everybody else"
"Aoshi wouldn't believe you! He already knows what you are going to do, and there is no way you can convince him!"
"Tsk, it doesn't matter if he were to believe me or not. Misanagi would. I can convince her and spread it to the clan. Their tribes, their councils would believe it. His reputation and yours would be a vile nasty scandal all over in connections in Osaka and Kyoto. He'll wish he'd never set eyes on you and with the shame brought to his clan, he will be removed to his position. He might be grooming his young adoptive daughter to be his successor.but what could a nine year old do?"
"You are so stubborn, utmost vile, and this corrupt". This is Enishi's plan, and this might be his revenge. In pure disgust, her fists clenched and shaking she murmured, "Leave Misao out of this, the young girl has done nothing wrong!"
"Now you know. At least what I can be capable of. So, what would be for the start Megumi?"
Megumi was shaken, heartsick; not because of the threat but for the fear that there is truth in Enishi's words. He is cold calculating and dangerous man, and he had his sources and influences to charm anything to bend to his will.
"I'll get my purse, and give you a check." She said wearily, hearing the defeat in her own voice. At least momentarily, the money she will be giving to him will stall him for awhile. It might be bribery, but she knows Enishi can't turn down an offer. He will find some ways to use it. She ran upstairs and was soon back with the purse. She sat down at the desk, wrote him a check, and handed it to him.
"This will be a start of a beautiful friendship," he said conceitedly, as he snatched it from her hands as soon as she finished signing her signature in it. His eyes seemed to smile as his gaze fixed to the number of digits written in the check. He placed it casually in his cloak and turned around, marking his leave. "You'll see me again Megumi, never doubt that. In turn keep up with the regular donations or."
"You won't get another yen from me."
He glanced over his shoulder, "No not from you, koishii.From your husband. Use him while you still can, it won't be that long and I'll see you soon."
She waited until his steps; a fading sound of the staccato beat that echoes out of the vast corridor was heard no more. When she made sure he was gone, he ran up the stairs, closed the door and rested against the paneling, too stricken to be aware of her surroundings. She took deep breaths and awareness came rushing back. Aoshi would want some answers. She had to think. She went to the bathroom and bathed her face with a wet cloth, retouched her make-up and returned to the bedroom to see Aoshi coming in the door, her purse in his hand.
"You left this on the desk."
"Domo." She took the purse from him, placed it on the bureau, and picked up her hairbrush.
"Megumi!!"
His voice was loud, harsh and cut across the room like a whip. She stared at him silently. His blue eyes are rigid, cold and sharp like shards of ice. "Were you so upset to see him go that you ran up here and hide?"
"I was glad to see him go, Aoshi. I never wanted to see him again."
"Don't lie." There was something strange in his voice. Accusation? He came close to her and her eyes were level with his chin. "Tell me, what is that he wants from you now, Meg-chan?"
Suddenly she was tired of it all. Exhausted. Tired of being manipulated by Enishi, pushed by Misanagi, by.him! She felt as if someone had stuck a knife in her and was slowly twisting it.
"I don't want to tell you!" The words burst from her angrily. An interminable silence filled the room. She knew that the fragile hope she had secretly nourished that perhaps he might give up Misanagi and come to love her had just vanished.
"Well. At least we're being honest."
That couldn't be hurt in his voice. She glanced up to see a nerve pulsing beside his eye. Wearily she turned from him. She wanted to go home. Home? Where was that? Her eyes filled with tears and overflowed down on her cheeks.
"Do you mind if I lie down for awhile?"
"Go ahead, I won't stop you."
The door closed behind him and she was alone. It was a relief; she could cry now. There was no one to see her. She lay down the bed and cried herself to sleep.
She awakened during the night and lay staring into the darkness. She was alone. How strange, she mused, that after sleeping beside Aoshi for such a short time she could feel so alone without him beside her. It had not taken him long to return, and acceded to his sensei's wishes, she thought bitterly and tears once again began to slide down her cheeks.
*****
All through the next day, Aoshi was gone with Misanagi to some parts in Kyoto. Megumi devoted the day to Misao. She and Misao ate alone in the evening as Aoshi hadn't returned even for dinner.
It was already late at night, and she was already in bed, when the door opened and the lights were put on, blinding her momentarily. She sat up, clutching the bedclothes to her. Aoshi closed the door and came to stand in the middle of the room. His face was completely colorless and the small pulse beside his eyes was throbbing in away she had seen before when he was upset.
She drew in a deep, quivering breath. "What is it, Aoshi?"
When he didn't answer, fear burgeoned inside her and she dug her nails into her palms and tried to think what dreadful news could make him look like this. The silence went on and she couldn't stand it. "What is it? What's happened?" He was close to the bed now, staring down at her as if he despised her.
"Something very unpleasant has happened. The ornate white jade clip is missing." The words came out of the frozen mask of his face. "Would you have any idea where they might be?"
"The.clip?" The words hung in the air. "I.wakaranai" She looked at the table where she had placed the box when she took it from her suitcase the day before. It wasn't there. "Didn't you put them away? I don't have them."
"I know you don't have them. Until this afternoon Enishi had them."
"What are you talking about?"
Wearily, Aoshi put his hand in his coat pocket and drew it out and held it palm up. The precious white jade hair accessory lay in his palm. From his other pocket he brought out a folded sheet of paper.
"Enishi apparently got cold feet. He returned the accessory in one of my quarters this afternoon by special courier along with this letter. Read it for yourself." He tossed it down, but didn't move away.
She unfolded the paper with trembling fingers, and began to read: "To Shinomori Aoshi: No doubt you will be surprised to find enclosed your wedding gift to your bride. I know that I'm not a person that you can easily be trusted, but after meeting your wife the previous day she insisted that I take them as a payment of money she owes me greatly. I am returning this to you for safekeeping. I sincerely hope that your relationship with Megumi will not be concluded as mine was, with mistrust and jealousy threatening my plans to lead a whole new life. Yukishiro Enishi."
The paper fluttered from Megumi's numb fingers and for a moment she was speechless, unable to believe that Enishi would have concocted such a story. Then it came to her, that he is capable of doing almost anything, but.
"How did he get the precious accessory?" she whispered hoarsely,
"I was hoping you would tell me."
Good grief! Aoshi was as good as accusing her of theft! She was engulfed in such horror and rage that she scarcely knew what she was saying.
"So you believe your wife is a thief?" she shouted.
"I never said that----I'm just asking you for an explanation."
"How dare you ask me to defend myself," she hissed. "I never would have suspected you as you do me. But that's because.because I love you. You wouldn't understand anything about that, of course."
"Calm down----no one has accused you of anything, but what am I supposed to think? You refuse to tell me what's going between you and Enishi and what he really wanted."
Megumi returned to the bed and sat down. Her face crumbled, and tears filled her eyes.
"You're obviously in no shape to talk about anything now." Aoshi sound disgusted. "Try to get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."
Megumi couldn't have answered if she tried. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, her body wracked by dry, silent sobs. When she managed to open her eyes, he was gone.
(Translation: wakaranai= I don't know)
The trip back to Kyoto the next morning was worse than she had expected. To her dismay, Misanagi had come along, having some important business to take care with Aoshi.
When they arrived at the villa, Megumi went straight up to her room she'd occupy with Aoshi. She unpacked and then picked up the ornate wooden box holding the precious white jade clip. She couldn't resist opening the box and looking at them. They were so beautiful, but not for her. She snapped the box shut and placed it on the stand beside the bed. With nothing to do she paced the room, stood beside the window, and looked down on the courtyard. Her nerves were strung as tight as a bow string.
The situation was unbearable. She finally made a decision. She would tell Aoshi soon enough that their marriage was a mistake and she wished to terminate it. She was sitting beside the window when Aoshi came into the room. He looked at her like a stranger, his face is expressionless and his eyes are cold as ice.
"There's someone here to see you, he said he comes in peace. You know who I'm referring to."
For a moment she was speechless. Enishi! His persistence took him to the point that he even had present himself to the oniwabanshu's stronghold! She nearly has forgotten all about him, ever since the day of Aoshi's proposal. "Enishi? Yukishiro Enishi? B-but what would he be doing here?" she asked through stiff lips.
"How in the hell do I know? Go on down and see." She went to the door, but his next words stop her. "He did really want something important from you, didn't he?"
She turned to look at him, opened her mouth to say something, thought better of it, and went out the door. Her mind was spinning wildly. What would Enishi possibly want right now? Aoshi know her former relationship on the formidable enemy, and Enishi knew that his cover was blown and there is nothing else left to hide to blackmail her. It sends a chill on her spine, that this man would be into another scheming plot.and he wouldn't stop.
She descended the steps and overheard voices coming from the library. It was Enishi talking to Misanagi. She stood at the door and watched them for a moment. Enishi is putting on his deceiving casual charm for Misanagi, and the okashira was clearly looking impressed. How could she have blindly fall in love before to this manipulative, conceited man?
She noticed that he is wearing a new set of glasses on, he tipped on it lightly as he saw her; giving her brief glimpse of those cold unwavering green eyes. "Megumi, how nice it is to see you again."
"Enishi."
Misanagi threw her a vicious look and left the room.
Enishi came to her and took her hand before she could step away from him. He took it tightly, pressing it hard and she flinched as it hurts her, "I've missed you Megumi, I don't realized how much you meant while you are away." he look down on her and his mouth twisted cruelly with a cold smile.
Megumi jerked her hand from his and moved a few feet away from him. "Stop it! I know all your tricks, Enishi. I married now, but I presumed you already knew that's why you have the guts to come here."
He was quiet for a long moment, and then looked at her arrogantly. "I'll have to admit you are smarter than I gave you credit for, Megumi. You are true to your threat. You did get married to Shinomori Aoshi, and you did it convincingly as you want everyone to believe."
"That's not true! I do really care for him!"
"Let's face it, koishii." her blood begins to boil as he referred her as his lover, "Your motives to me are very crystal clear, you married Aoshi because you need security knowing well that the man is a good fighter and leader to that.to get away from me. But I think it's fair enough for him though."
She was perplexed, and her silence means she reluctantly wants him to explain. His green eyes lit up with some sardonic amusement. "Did you believe he married you for the reason he loves you? Aoshi is not foolish to give in easily to a woman's charm! He is using you as well as you use him."
Megumi recalled the conversation that Aoshi and Misanagi have secretly back in Osaka. She tried to deluge the thought, "No." she said firmly, gritting her teeth. "I'm afraid that's not it, Enishi." At least if he ever was, he never used me like you did, she swore silently.
"Then what is? Aoshi and Okina have a strained relationship. Have you ever wondered why the old man retires to Osaka and he, in Kyoto? The oniwabanshu is divided. He wants him to marry someone his choice, but what did he do? He rebels against him as always, that's why he married you instead."
Every word is a painful drop and might be as well the presumption she had in mind. She didn't have to wonder how Enishi can come with a conclusion; he is an intelligent, resourceful and dangerous man.
"You might as well know, I never forget a promise. I'll come to get you. Even if that means making you look foolish and a traitorous spy in front of everybody else"
"Aoshi wouldn't believe you! He already knows what you are going to do, and there is no way you can convince him!"
"Tsk, it doesn't matter if he were to believe me or not. Misanagi would. I can convince her and spread it to the clan. Their tribes, their councils would believe it. His reputation and yours would be a vile nasty scandal all over in connections in Osaka and Kyoto. He'll wish he'd never set eyes on you and with the shame brought to his clan, he will be removed to his position. He might be grooming his young adoptive daughter to be his successor.but what could a nine year old do?"
"You are so stubborn, utmost vile, and this corrupt". This is Enishi's plan, and this might be his revenge. In pure disgust, her fists clenched and shaking she murmured, "Leave Misao out of this, the young girl has done nothing wrong!"
"Now you know. At least what I can be capable of. So, what would be for the start Megumi?"
Megumi was shaken, heartsick; not because of the threat but for the fear that there is truth in Enishi's words. He is cold calculating and dangerous man, and he had his sources and influences to charm anything to bend to his will.
"I'll get my purse, and give you a check." She said wearily, hearing the defeat in her own voice. At least momentarily, the money she will be giving to him will stall him for awhile. It might be bribery, but she knows Enishi can't turn down an offer. He will find some ways to use it. She ran upstairs and was soon back with the purse. She sat down at the desk, wrote him a check, and handed it to him.
"This will be a start of a beautiful friendship," he said conceitedly, as he snatched it from her hands as soon as she finished signing her signature in it. His eyes seemed to smile as his gaze fixed to the number of digits written in the check. He placed it casually in his cloak and turned around, marking his leave. "You'll see me again Megumi, never doubt that. In turn keep up with the regular donations or."
"You won't get another yen from me."
He glanced over his shoulder, "No not from you, koishii.From your husband. Use him while you still can, it won't be that long and I'll see you soon."
She waited until his steps; a fading sound of the staccato beat that echoes out of the vast corridor was heard no more. When she made sure he was gone, he ran up the stairs, closed the door and rested against the paneling, too stricken to be aware of her surroundings. She took deep breaths and awareness came rushing back. Aoshi would want some answers. She had to think. She went to the bathroom and bathed her face with a wet cloth, retouched her make-up and returned to the bedroom to see Aoshi coming in the door, her purse in his hand.
"You left this on the desk."
"Domo." She took the purse from him, placed it on the bureau, and picked up her hairbrush.
"Megumi!!"
His voice was loud, harsh and cut across the room like a whip. She stared at him silently. His blue eyes are rigid, cold and sharp like shards of ice. "Were you so upset to see him go that you ran up here and hide?"
"I was glad to see him go, Aoshi. I never wanted to see him again."
"Don't lie." There was something strange in his voice. Accusation? He came close to her and her eyes were level with his chin. "Tell me, what is that he wants from you now, Meg-chan?"
Suddenly she was tired of it all. Exhausted. Tired of being manipulated by Enishi, pushed by Misanagi, by.him! She felt as if someone had stuck a knife in her and was slowly twisting it.
"I don't want to tell you!" The words burst from her angrily. An interminable silence filled the room. She knew that the fragile hope she had secretly nourished that perhaps he might give up Misanagi and come to love her had just vanished.
"Well. At least we're being honest."
That couldn't be hurt in his voice. She glanced up to see a nerve pulsing beside his eye. Wearily she turned from him. She wanted to go home. Home? Where was that? Her eyes filled with tears and overflowed down on her cheeks.
"Do you mind if I lie down for awhile?"
"Go ahead, I won't stop you."
The door closed behind him and she was alone. It was a relief; she could cry now. There was no one to see her. She lay down the bed and cried herself to sleep.
She awakened during the night and lay staring into the darkness. She was alone. How strange, she mused, that after sleeping beside Aoshi for such a short time she could feel so alone without him beside her. It had not taken him long to return, and acceded to his sensei's wishes, she thought bitterly and tears once again began to slide down her cheeks.
*****
All through the next day, Aoshi was gone with Misanagi to some parts in Kyoto. Megumi devoted the day to Misao. She and Misao ate alone in the evening as Aoshi hadn't returned even for dinner.
It was already late at night, and she was already in bed, when the door opened and the lights were put on, blinding her momentarily. She sat up, clutching the bedclothes to her. Aoshi closed the door and came to stand in the middle of the room. His face was completely colorless and the small pulse beside his eyes was throbbing in away she had seen before when he was upset.
She drew in a deep, quivering breath. "What is it, Aoshi?"
When he didn't answer, fear burgeoned inside her and she dug her nails into her palms and tried to think what dreadful news could make him look like this. The silence went on and she couldn't stand it. "What is it? What's happened?" He was close to the bed now, staring down at her as if he despised her.
"Something very unpleasant has happened. The ornate white jade clip is missing." The words came out of the frozen mask of his face. "Would you have any idea where they might be?"
"The.clip?" The words hung in the air. "I.wakaranai" She looked at the table where she had placed the box when she took it from her suitcase the day before. It wasn't there. "Didn't you put them away? I don't have them."
"I know you don't have them. Until this afternoon Enishi had them."
"What are you talking about?"
Wearily, Aoshi put his hand in his coat pocket and drew it out and held it palm up. The precious white jade hair accessory lay in his palm. From his other pocket he brought out a folded sheet of paper.
"Enishi apparently got cold feet. He returned the accessory in one of my quarters this afternoon by special courier along with this letter. Read it for yourself." He tossed it down, but didn't move away.
She unfolded the paper with trembling fingers, and began to read: "To Shinomori Aoshi: No doubt you will be surprised to find enclosed your wedding gift to your bride. I know that I'm not a person that you can easily be trusted, but after meeting your wife the previous day she insisted that I take them as a payment of money she owes me greatly. I am returning this to you for safekeeping. I sincerely hope that your relationship with Megumi will not be concluded as mine was, with mistrust and jealousy threatening my plans to lead a whole new life. Yukishiro Enishi."
The paper fluttered from Megumi's numb fingers and for a moment she was speechless, unable to believe that Enishi would have concocted such a story. Then it came to her, that he is capable of doing almost anything, but.
"How did he get the precious accessory?" she whispered hoarsely,
"I was hoping you would tell me."
Good grief! Aoshi was as good as accusing her of theft! She was engulfed in such horror and rage that she scarcely knew what she was saying.
"So you believe your wife is a thief?" she shouted.
"I never said that----I'm just asking you for an explanation."
"How dare you ask me to defend myself," she hissed. "I never would have suspected you as you do me. But that's because.because I love you. You wouldn't understand anything about that, of course."
"Calm down----no one has accused you of anything, but what am I supposed to think? You refuse to tell me what's going between you and Enishi and what he really wanted."
Megumi returned to the bed and sat down. Her face crumbled, and tears filled her eyes.
"You're obviously in no shape to talk about anything now." Aoshi sound disgusted. "Try to get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."
Megumi couldn't have answered if she tried. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, her body wracked by dry, silent sobs. When she managed to open her eyes, he was gone.
(Translation: wakaranai= I don't know)