(backstage)
Announcer: Mr Rukawa Kaede sir? Please wake up, we're going on air in two minutes. Mr Rukawa Kaede?
Sakuragi: Onna, you should just beat him up! (starts to kick the sleeping boy)
Kogure: Maa maa Sakuragi.. It's not very nice ^-^;;
Sendoh: Announcer-san.
Announcer: Yes Mr Sendoh Akira sir?
Sendoh: Why must you be so formal?
Mitsui: And so hopelessly polite? Can't you just drop the 'Mr' and 'sir' parts? Just calling me Mitsui would be fine.
Fujima: She could get into trouble if she did that.
Sendoh: Were you told to address us like that?
Announcer: Err, actually, I'm free to say what I want.
Mitsui: So? Stop calling me 'sir' and 'Mr'! I'm not used to such formal terms!
Sakuragi's gundam in the audience starts sniggering.
Okusu: Mitchy's an ex-gangster! He's not used to formalities! =D
Takamiya: He's not respectable you know! =D
Mitsui(glaring at them): Shut up you fools! X/
Camera man: We're on in ten..nine..
Announcer(panicking): Excuse me, Mr..(a glance at Mitsui changed her mind) Rukawa? Please, wake up!
Camera man: ..six...five...four..
Announcer(screaming): RUKAWA!
Rukawa lifted his head and looked around dazedly.
Rukawa(blinking): Hnn? Camera man: ...two..one..you're on!
Announcer(smiling): Welcome back to the Weakest Link, the Slam Dunk special. And we have our next question. How many continents are there on Earth? ^-^
Maki: Seven. ^-^;;
Announcer: Correct. (smiles at Maki) What do you call someone with a phobia of the dark?
Rukawa: Nyctophobia.
Announcer: Your answer is correct. (Rukawa then goes back to sleep) ^-^;; Err, okay...we'll go on to the final question of our first round. (Everyone leans forward eagerly) How long did the second world war last?
Kiyota: There was a second world war? O.O
Sakuragi: There was a world war? O.O
Mitsui(disbelieving): Don't you guys take history? O.o
Kiyota(suddenly): I know! It didn't last very long!
Maki(curious): What makes you think so, Kiyota? O.O
Kiyota: Well, since there's no world war now, the second world war couldn't have lasted could it?
Sendoh: Good point there.
Sakuragi; NYAHAHA! The tensai knew the answer all along!
Announcer: And what IS the answer? O.o
Kiyota(making a wild guess): Two years.
Announcer: Wrong.
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHA! The tensai knew the answer was wrong all the while!
Announcer: Oookay.. ^-^;; Well, now, please vote someone out of this round. Maki? (she smiled at him)
Sendoh(in an audible whisper): Looks like our host has the hots for Maki- san.
The announcer turned slightly red.
Maki(oblivious): I say Sendoh. He's really useless.
Sendoh: What did I ever do to you?
Maki: Nothing.
Sendoh: So?
Maki: That's exactly it. You've done nothing.
Fujima: I vote Sendoh out too.
Sakuragi: I vote the Kitsune!
Kiyota: I vote the saru..(realizing Sakuragi had not voted HIM out) NO! I vote Rukawa out!
Kogure: Maa maa.. Must we really do this? (nods all around) well, I guess Sendoh since he hasn't helped us one bit.
Announcer: It's up to Mitsui then.
Mitsui(ponders thoughtfully): Hmmmm... I guess Sendoh.
Sendoh: What?
Announcer: Well, you've been voted out Sendoh and it seems you're the weakest link. Goodbye.
Sendoh: Don't I get a vote?
Announcer: Oh, yes you do (mutters) I doubt it'll change anything though.
Sendoh: Then, I vote Rukawa out! (smiles evilly)
Announcer(smiles evilly as well): And Rukawa gets a vote as well. What will it be Rukawa?
Rukawa: *drool*
Sakuragi: Oi! Kitsune! She's asking you a question! (kicks him hard)
Rukawa: Hnn? I won't let you disturb my sleep (is about to punch Sakuragi)
Kiyota(impatiently): Stupid Rukawa! Hurry up and cast your vote. We don't have time to play!
Announcer: O.O (whispers) this coming from the joker?
Rukawa: Vote?
Sakuragi: You're supposed to vote someone out you stupid kitsune! X/
Fujima(helpfully): We need your vote to decide who gets kicked out, you or Sendoh.
Maki: His reply should be obvious.
Mitsui: You'll be surprised Maki.
Rukawa: I want out.
Mitsui(smirks at Maki): Told you.
Announcer: You're voting yourself out? O.O
Rukawa nods.
Kogure(sweatdrop): He's just joking Announcer-san. Right Rukawa? ^-^;;
Mitsui: Since when did Rukawa possess a sense of humour? O.o
Fujima: Don't be such a spoil sport Rukawa.
Sendoh: Does this mean I can stay?
Rukawa(glares at Sendoh): Hnn, I'll vote that 'ahou out.
Sendoh: What? This isn't fair! Why are all of you ganging up on me? *-*
Rukawa: Do'ahou.
Announcer: You are the weakest link Sendoh. Goodbye. ^-^
Sendoh: But I haven't finished posing for the camera yet! (two bodyguards drag him off the set). Matte!
Announcer: ^-^ Our next round begins now. The first question, which day in the menstrual cycle does ovulation take place?
Kiyota: What's a menstrual cycle? @-@
Sakuragi: Ovulation? @-@
Kogure blushes.
Fujima: On the fourteenth day. ^-^
Announcer: Correct.
Mitsui: Hentai.
Kogure(turning redder): Maa maa Mitsui. Fujima-san was only answering the question.
Mitsui rolled his eyes.
Mitsui: Still very ecchi if you ask me.
Announcer: Next question, which gas gives off a pungent smell and is colourless?
Sakuragi: Gori's fart! (starts laughing maniacally)
Akagi stands up from amongst the audience, ready to throw Sakuragi out the studio.
Mitsui snickered.
Kogure: Ammonia.
Announcer: ^-^;; yes, you're right. How do Eskimos keep their food from freezing?
Kiyota: By sitting on them?
Sakuragi: Keeping them in a refrigerator obviously. Humph!
Fujima: He never fails to amaze me. O.O
Maki nodded in agreement.
Announcer: Right you are! Here's a bonus question, what is round and fat, has white hair and goes 'HO HO HO'?
Sakuragi: Oyaji! ^-^
Mitsui(angry): You fool! X/
Rukawa opened one of his eyes.
Rukawa: Santa Claus.
Announcer: Correct! Rukawa gets the bonus!
Sakuragi: Nani? The kitsune gets it? TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: ^-^;; On with the next question, what is the disease related to a high cholesterol level?
Maki: Atherosclerosis.
Mitsui: Thrombosis.
Kogure: Coronary heart disease.
Announcer: Well, all of you are correct. ^-^;;
Mitsui: But you asked for THE disease, not what are the diseaseS! There should only be one answer!
Kogure: I don't mean to say you're wrong but Mitsui's right. ^-^;;
Sakuragi: Ara? But if Mitchy's right, isn't the onna wrong? O.o
Kiyota: And since Kogure-san says Mitsui-san is correct then Announcer-san must be wrong!
Kogure sweatdrops.
Announcer(smiling): Well then, since I'm wrong, the correct answer is atherosclerosis. Now I'm right and you're both wrong.
Fujima: O.O (whispers) She's mean.
Announcer: Maki is correct then. ^-^
Sendoh(from backstage): I knew she had the hots for Maki-san!
Announcer(smiles sweetly while indicating for the bodyguards to gag him up): Our next question then. What is the capital of Kirghizia?
Mitsui: What the? @-@
Sakuragi: Huh? @-@
Kiyota: ? @-@ Fujima:......
Maki:.........
Kogure:....... ^-^;;
Announcer: Does anyone know the answer?
Mitsui(leaning towards Rukawa): Psstttt.. Rukawa! Oi Rukawa! What's the answer?
Sakuragi: Why are you asking the kitsune? He's stupid you know.
Mitsui: Speak for yourself idiot.
Sakuragi(bristling): TEME!!!!!!!!!!! How dare you call this tensai an idiot!
Kogure: Maa maa... (tries desperately to calm the fuming boy) ^-^;;
Announcer: Rukawa? Do you know the answer?
Rukawa: What's the question? XO (yawns)
Fujima(helpfully): What is the capital of Kirgeesa?
Announcer: Kirghizia.
Rukawa: Dunno. (promptly goes back to napping)
Announcer: ^-^;; well, since no one knows the answer, I- -
Kiyota(staring at a menu in his hands): Yum.. Fish cake..
Announcer: You are correct! The capital of Kirghizia is Bishkek! ^-^
Everyone: O.O;;
Announcer: Next one. What is Asbestos?
Mitsui: An industrial mineral.
Kogure: O.O
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHA! Mitchy's not bad!
Mitsui: Baka! Of course not!
Announcer: And now we've come to the final question of this second round. What is an autodidact?
Rukawa(waking up): A self-taught person.
Announcer: Rukawa is correct! All right, now please vote someone out.
Sakuragi: I vote the kitsune!
Kiyota: I vote Rukawa.
Maki: I vote... Fujima? Who are you voting out?
Fujima(thinking): I don't know.... You? But definitely not Rukawa. He helps us answer when you least expect it.
Maki(nodding): Not Rukawa....
Kiyota(wailing): Maki-san! Why not Rukawa?
Mitsui: I vote Sakuragi.
Sakuragi: NANI?!!! Mitchy how could you do this to a tensai? X/
Kogure: Maa maa, Sakuragi. It's all part of the game..... ^-^;;
Rukawa: I vote the do'ahou.
Announcer: Which one? ^-^
Mitsui(whispering): Has anybody realized she's getting meaner by the minute? O.O;;
Rukawa: The noisy one. Wait. Both are noisy.
Everyone: ^-^;;
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Rukawa: That one. (points to Sakuragi)
Kiyota(guffawing): BWAHAHAHA!!!!!! =D
Rukawa: Am I entitled to two votes?
Announcer: Why not? ^-^ You did answer the bonus question correctly.
Rukawa: Both then.
Kiyota: BWAHA- - TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid Rukawa!!! X/
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHA!!!!! This is what happens when you laugh at a tensai! =D
Maki: Aren't you forgetting that you've been voted as well? O.o
Sakuragi(still laughing): But so did the wild monkey! NYAHAHAHA! =D
Maki: Ah, okay. T.T
Announcer: Whom will Maki, Fujima and Kogure vote for then? ^-^
Kogure: Can you give us more time? ^-^;;
Announcer: Certainly! We'll go for another commercial break while our contestants decide. ^-^
^-^ daijoubu! I'm not a yaoi author!
Announcer: Mr Rukawa Kaede sir? Please wake up, we're going on air in two minutes. Mr Rukawa Kaede?
Sakuragi: Onna, you should just beat him up! (starts to kick the sleeping boy)
Kogure: Maa maa Sakuragi.. It's not very nice ^-^;;
Sendoh: Announcer-san.
Announcer: Yes Mr Sendoh Akira sir?
Sendoh: Why must you be so formal?
Mitsui: And so hopelessly polite? Can't you just drop the 'Mr' and 'sir' parts? Just calling me Mitsui would be fine.
Fujima: She could get into trouble if she did that.
Sendoh: Were you told to address us like that?
Announcer: Err, actually, I'm free to say what I want.
Mitsui: So? Stop calling me 'sir' and 'Mr'! I'm not used to such formal terms!
Sakuragi's gundam in the audience starts sniggering.
Okusu: Mitchy's an ex-gangster! He's not used to formalities! =D
Takamiya: He's not respectable you know! =D
Mitsui(glaring at them): Shut up you fools! X/
Camera man: We're on in ten..nine..
Announcer(panicking): Excuse me, Mr..(a glance at Mitsui changed her mind) Rukawa? Please, wake up!
Camera man: ..six...five...four..
Announcer(screaming): RUKAWA!
Rukawa lifted his head and looked around dazedly.
Rukawa(blinking): Hnn? Camera man: ...two..one..you're on!
Announcer(smiling): Welcome back to the Weakest Link, the Slam Dunk special. And we have our next question. How many continents are there on Earth? ^-^
Maki: Seven. ^-^;;
Announcer: Correct. (smiles at Maki) What do you call someone with a phobia of the dark?
Rukawa: Nyctophobia.
Announcer: Your answer is correct. (Rukawa then goes back to sleep) ^-^;; Err, okay...we'll go on to the final question of our first round. (Everyone leans forward eagerly) How long did the second world war last?
Kiyota: There was a second world war? O.O
Sakuragi: There was a world war? O.O
Mitsui(disbelieving): Don't you guys take history? O.o
Kiyota(suddenly): I know! It didn't last very long!
Maki(curious): What makes you think so, Kiyota? O.O
Kiyota: Well, since there's no world war now, the second world war couldn't have lasted could it?
Sendoh: Good point there.
Sakuragi; NYAHAHA! The tensai knew the answer all along!
Announcer: And what IS the answer? O.o
Kiyota(making a wild guess): Two years.
Announcer: Wrong.
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHA! The tensai knew the answer was wrong all the while!
Announcer: Oookay.. ^-^;; Well, now, please vote someone out of this round. Maki? (she smiled at him)
Sendoh(in an audible whisper): Looks like our host has the hots for Maki- san.
The announcer turned slightly red.
Maki(oblivious): I say Sendoh. He's really useless.
Sendoh: What did I ever do to you?
Maki: Nothing.
Sendoh: So?
Maki: That's exactly it. You've done nothing.
Fujima: I vote Sendoh out too.
Sakuragi: I vote the Kitsune!
Kiyota: I vote the saru..(realizing Sakuragi had not voted HIM out) NO! I vote Rukawa out!
Kogure: Maa maa.. Must we really do this? (nods all around) well, I guess Sendoh since he hasn't helped us one bit.
Announcer: It's up to Mitsui then.
Mitsui(ponders thoughtfully): Hmmmm... I guess Sendoh.
Sendoh: What?
Announcer: Well, you've been voted out Sendoh and it seems you're the weakest link. Goodbye.
Sendoh: Don't I get a vote?
Announcer: Oh, yes you do (mutters) I doubt it'll change anything though.
Sendoh: Then, I vote Rukawa out! (smiles evilly)
Announcer(smiles evilly as well): And Rukawa gets a vote as well. What will it be Rukawa?
Rukawa: *drool*
Sakuragi: Oi! Kitsune! She's asking you a question! (kicks him hard)
Rukawa: Hnn? I won't let you disturb my sleep (is about to punch Sakuragi)
Kiyota(impatiently): Stupid Rukawa! Hurry up and cast your vote. We don't have time to play!
Announcer: O.O (whispers) this coming from the joker?
Rukawa: Vote?
Sakuragi: You're supposed to vote someone out you stupid kitsune! X/
Fujima(helpfully): We need your vote to decide who gets kicked out, you or Sendoh.
Maki: His reply should be obvious.
Mitsui: You'll be surprised Maki.
Rukawa: I want out.
Mitsui(smirks at Maki): Told you.
Announcer: You're voting yourself out? O.O
Rukawa nods.
Kogure(sweatdrop): He's just joking Announcer-san. Right Rukawa? ^-^;;
Mitsui: Since when did Rukawa possess a sense of humour? O.o
Fujima: Don't be such a spoil sport Rukawa.
Sendoh: Does this mean I can stay?
Rukawa(glares at Sendoh): Hnn, I'll vote that 'ahou out.
Sendoh: What? This isn't fair! Why are all of you ganging up on me? *-*
Rukawa: Do'ahou.
Announcer: You are the weakest link Sendoh. Goodbye. ^-^
Sendoh: But I haven't finished posing for the camera yet! (two bodyguards drag him off the set). Matte!
Announcer: ^-^ Our next round begins now. The first question, which day in the menstrual cycle does ovulation take place?
Kiyota: What's a menstrual cycle? @-@
Sakuragi: Ovulation? @-@
Kogure blushes.
Fujima: On the fourteenth day. ^-^
Announcer: Correct.
Mitsui: Hentai.
Kogure(turning redder): Maa maa Mitsui. Fujima-san was only answering the question.
Mitsui rolled his eyes.
Mitsui: Still very ecchi if you ask me.
Announcer: Next question, which gas gives off a pungent smell and is colourless?
Sakuragi: Gori's fart! (starts laughing maniacally)
Akagi stands up from amongst the audience, ready to throw Sakuragi out the studio.
Mitsui snickered.
Kogure: Ammonia.
Announcer: ^-^;; yes, you're right. How do Eskimos keep their food from freezing?
Kiyota: By sitting on them?
Sakuragi: Keeping them in a refrigerator obviously. Humph!
Fujima: He never fails to amaze me. O.O
Maki nodded in agreement.
Announcer: Right you are! Here's a bonus question, what is round and fat, has white hair and goes 'HO HO HO'?
Sakuragi: Oyaji! ^-^
Mitsui(angry): You fool! X/
Rukawa opened one of his eyes.
Rukawa: Santa Claus.
Announcer: Correct! Rukawa gets the bonus!
Sakuragi: Nani? The kitsune gets it? TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: ^-^;; On with the next question, what is the disease related to a high cholesterol level?
Maki: Atherosclerosis.
Mitsui: Thrombosis.
Kogure: Coronary heart disease.
Announcer: Well, all of you are correct. ^-^;;
Mitsui: But you asked for THE disease, not what are the diseaseS! There should only be one answer!
Kogure: I don't mean to say you're wrong but Mitsui's right. ^-^;;
Sakuragi: Ara? But if Mitchy's right, isn't the onna wrong? O.o
Kiyota: And since Kogure-san says Mitsui-san is correct then Announcer-san must be wrong!
Kogure sweatdrops.
Announcer(smiling): Well then, since I'm wrong, the correct answer is atherosclerosis. Now I'm right and you're both wrong.
Fujima: O.O (whispers) She's mean.
Announcer: Maki is correct then. ^-^
Sendoh(from backstage): I knew she had the hots for Maki-san!
Announcer(smiles sweetly while indicating for the bodyguards to gag him up): Our next question then. What is the capital of Kirghizia?
Mitsui: What the? @-@
Sakuragi: Huh? @-@
Kiyota: ? @-@ Fujima:......
Maki:.........
Kogure:....... ^-^;;
Announcer: Does anyone know the answer?
Mitsui(leaning towards Rukawa): Psstttt.. Rukawa! Oi Rukawa! What's the answer?
Sakuragi: Why are you asking the kitsune? He's stupid you know.
Mitsui: Speak for yourself idiot.
Sakuragi(bristling): TEME!!!!!!!!!!! How dare you call this tensai an idiot!
Kogure: Maa maa... (tries desperately to calm the fuming boy) ^-^;;
Announcer: Rukawa? Do you know the answer?
Rukawa: What's the question? XO (yawns)
Fujima(helpfully): What is the capital of Kirgeesa?
Announcer: Kirghizia.
Rukawa: Dunno. (promptly goes back to napping)
Announcer: ^-^;; well, since no one knows the answer, I- -
Kiyota(staring at a menu in his hands): Yum.. Fish cake..
Announcer: You are correct! The capital of Kirghizia is Bishkek! ^-^
Everyone: O.O;;
Announcer: Next one. What is Asbestos?
Mitsui: An industrial mineral.
Kogure: O.O
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHA! Mitchy's not bad!
Mitsui: Baka! Of course not!
Announcer: And now we've come to the final question of this second round. What is an autodidact?
Rukawa(waking up): A self-taught person.
Announcer: Rukawa is correct! All right, now please vote someone out.
Sakuragi: I vote the kitsune!
Kiyota: I vote Rukawa.
Maki: I vote... Fujima? Who are you voting out?
Fujima(thinking): I don't know.... You? But definitely not Rukawa. He helps us answer when you least expect it.
Maki(nodding): Not Rukawa....
Kiyota(wailing): Maki-san! Why not Rukawa?
Mitsui: I vote Sakuragi.
Sakuragi: NANI?!!! Mitchy how could you do this to a tensai? X/
Kogure: Maa maa, Sakuragi. It's all part of the game..... ^-^;;
Rukawa: I vote the do'ahou.
Announcer: Which one? ^-^
Mitsui(whispering): Has anybody realized she's getting meaner by the minute? O.O;;
Rukawa: The noisy one. Wait. Both are noisy.
Everyone: ^-^;;
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Rukawa: That one. (points to Sakuragi)
Kiyota(guffawing): BWAHAHAHA!!!!!! =D
Rukawa: Am I entitled to two votes?
Announcer: Why not? ^-^ You did answer the bonus question correctly.
Rukawa: Both then.
Kiyota: BWAHA- - TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid Rukawa!!! X/
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHA!!!!! This is what happens when you laugh at a tensai! =D
Maki: Aren't you forgetting that you've been voted as well? O.o
Sakuragi(still laughing): But so did the wild monkey! NYAHAHAHA! =D
Maki: Ah, okay. T.T
Announcer: Whom will Maki, Fujima and Kogure vote for then? ^-^
Kogure: Can you give us more time? ^-^;;
Announcer: Certainly! We'll go for another commercial break while our contestants decide. ^-^
^-^ daijoubu! I'm not a yaoi author!