(backstage)
Sakuragi(running onstage and shaking Rukawa by the neck): TEME KITSUNE!!!!!!!!! Why is that you can stay when this tensai gets voted out! It's not fair! X/
Kiyota(wailing offstage): Maki-san how could you do this to me! I'm your no. 1 fan! How can you treat me like this? How can you treat me, me, Kiyota Nobunaga, super rookie and future MVP like this? How can you? How? !.!
Maki(eye twitching): That idiot's overreacting... T.T*
Mitsui: Sakuragi! If you want to switch places with me, I'll be glad to! (whispers) I really can't stand another minute of this...if she keeps asking such questions I would have to answer them and everyone will know that I'm smart. I can't let that happen! Never! It would ruin my reputation!
Sakuragi(eyes shining... he's stopped shaking Rukawa by the way): You mean it Mitchy? 0.0
Mitsui nodded.
Sakuragi(starts shaking Rukawa again in his new found joy): NYAHAHAHAH!!!!! The tensai will stay in the game! =D
Maki: You sure about this Mitsui? O.o
Mitsui: Of course.
Fujima: Mou... I've tried so hard to rid of him... ^-^
Mitsui: O.o
Announcer: All right then! Sakuragi will take Mitsui's place! We're going back on air in. ^-^
Cameraman:.. three..two...one...you're on!
Announcer(smiling into the camera): Welcome back to the Weakest Link a Slam Dunk special! Sakuragi and Mitsui have traded places so our finalists in the fifth round are Maki, Fujima, Rukawa and Sakuragi. ^-^
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: The first question... How do you describe a 'gobbledegook' person?
Fujima: That sounds suspiciously like turkey language and unfortunately I don't speak Turkish (get it? ;p it's lame I know.. ^-^;;)
Maki: Are you sure there's such a word? O.o
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Just because you don't know it doesn't mean it doesn't exist! =D
Maki: If you're so smart answer the question.
Rukawa: D'aho.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!! X/
Fujima: Here's a question! Has anyone realized that Rukawa always somehow wakes up just to insult Sakuragi? ^-^
Maki: Ah.... Only you would... O.o;;
Announcer: Back to the question please! ^-^
Sakuragi: A gobble-what? Can you repeat it?
Mitsui(snorting from the audience): See, if you don't know the word it's very likely that you won't know what it means so DON'T BOTHER YOU BAKA!
Sakuragi(loudly): I am not going to get mad at Mitchy because he was nice to me just now..I am not going to get mad at ...
Everyone: O.O;;
Rukawa: D'aho. Noisy monkey.
Sakuragi(stops talking loudly to himself): TEME!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Fujima: Here's another question! How many times did Sakuragi say 'TEME' to Rukawa since the game started? ^-^
Maki: Fujima?
Fujima: Yes Maki? ^-^
Maki: You're weird you know that? O.O;;
Fujima: ^-^
Maki: Anyway, announcer-san, I don't know the answer.
Sakuragi: I do! I do! ^-^/ (waves arm furiously about) The answer is.. ah.... a turkey? .
Rukawa: D'aho. It's a person who uses very pompous language like yourself.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Announcer: That's right! ^-^ the succeeding question, how many players are there in a soccer team?
Maki: Is this a trick question? It can't possibly be that simple right? O.6
Fujima: On the field playing or including those on the bench? ^-^
Sakuragi(thinking): These two are mad.... O.O;; (audibly) Eleven.
Announcer: Yes! ^-^ And so what does MEP stand for?
Sakuragi: Most valuable player! {is not very fluent in English, wait no, is utterly, disastrously hopeless in English} and that is me! The tensai! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!! =D
Kiyota(backstage): BAKERU! It's not you! It's Maki-san! X/ How can it be you? Never in a million zillion trillion gazillion years! Only this super rookie Kiyota Nobunaga will succeed Maki-san as MVP! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! =D
Sakuragi: URUSAI NOSARU! You're out of the game because you're too stupid so don't be noisy! X/
Kiyota: You're only in the game because Mitsui-san took pity on your pathetic self! Don't be bossy to me! X/
Kogure(backstage): Maa maa..Kiyota. The game's still playing on air.. ^-^;;
Maki: That idiot. Shame of Kainandai. T.T*
Fujima: Most efficient player? ^-^
Rukawa(miraculously awake without intending to insult Sakuragi): Most excellent player. Hnn.
Maki: Most extraordinary player?
Sakuragi: Most.... (racks his brains for an 'e' word) extraterrestrial player?
Everyone: O.O;;
Fujima: I don't think that's quite right. ^-^
Announcer: If it means you, then it should be most ebullient, entertaining, egregious and effusive player in basketball history and in this show's history. ^-^
Sakuragi: @-@
Maki: Most engaging player?
Announcer: Why do all of you have such narrow outlooks? It's Member of the European Parliament! ^-^ My god, you're stupid.
Maki(cursing silently): Bitch.
Fujima(to himself): Bitch.
Sakuragi(still lost): ? @-@
Sendoh(from the audience): Yay! That's the way to go announcer-san! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Kogure: Now that's not very nice.. ^-^;; (to himself) bitch.
Announcer(smiling): Well thank you for the compliments I'm getting paid for being bitchy now shall we go on to the next question? ^-^
Everyone: She's pissed isn't she? O.O;;
Announcer: Our next question what do you call a person with no brains? ^-^
Everyone: Yep, she's pissed.. O.O;;;;;;;
Sakuragi: Rukawa! NYAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! =D
Announcer(coolly): I should think that should be yourself. ^-^
Sakuragi: Ara? But this tensai didn't do anything to upset you? Why take it out on me? 0.0 (wide-eyed with tears)
Anouncer: Actually you're right. So for the fun of it we'll skip this question since we already know the answer. ^-^\/ (flashes peace sign). Next one then.
Everyone: O.O;;
Announcer: Explain hotfoot. ^-^
Sakuragi: You're a Lord of the Rings fan too? O.O
Mitsui(slapping his hand to his forehead): I think I'd rather expose my brilliance than to have Shohoku be embarrassed by such a fool. My biggest mistake.
Fujima(sweetly): That's hobbit, Sakuragi. You've got the words mixed up. ^- ^
Sakuragi(scratching his head): What's the difference? (Fujima opens his mouth to speak but he cuts him off with an arrogant wave of his hand) Never mind, the tensai knows. Just checking.
Maki: Right. O.O;;
Annoucer: So? ^-^
Sakuragi(blank look): So what? O.O
Kiyota(yelling): Answer the damn question you stupid saru! X/ Mitsui-san! You should have traded with me instead! Why did you choose that baka saru instead of me? Why?!!!
Mitsui: O.O;; (thinking) As if you're any better.
Sakuragi: URUSAI you! X/ (loudly to himself) I will not get mad at such a stupid person, I will NOT get mad at such a stupid person!
Rukawa: D'aho
Sakuragi: What did you say you baka kitsune?!!! X/
Maki: Oi Sakuragi.
Sakuragi(turns to him): What is it oyaji?
Maki flinches slightly.
Maki: If you won't answer then I will.
Sakuragi(rubbing the back of his head sheepishly): AHAHAHAHAH! Suman! I forgot about the question!
Announcer: You're wasting valuable time which you don't deserve Sakuragi. Time is money. Money is time. Don't waste time, and don't waste money if you know what's good for you.
Sakuragi: Ahahahaha~ (looks at audience) What does she mean by that?
Collective sigh from the audience.
Rukawa: Great haste.
Sakuragi: What did you call me kitsune? What?!!! X/
Rukawa sighs.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!! Don't ignore the tensai! X/
Rukawa yawns.
Sakuragi: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (a string of foul words escape his mouth)
Sendoh: Ganbatte yo Sakuragi-kun!
Mitsui: I officially declare myself as the only sane person in this studio.
Announcer: All right. Great haste then. I mean, the answer. Votes? ^-^
Maki(glancing at a fuming Sakuragi and a purposely-infuriating-him Rukawa): Myself please.
Fujima(taking advantage of the situation): Maki.
Sakuragi: KITSUNE! KITSUNE! X/
Rukawa: D'aho.
Announcer: Well, then, since Maki has two votes....you're the weakest link then! See you! ^-^
Maki bows and departs.
Sakuragi(hadn't realized what had actually happened): Oi! Oyaji! Where are you going?
Sendoh: Oi! Announcer-san! I thought you liked him!
Announcer: Security, please throw that loud-mouth fellow out of my studio please. ^-^
Sendoh: Oi! Oi! You can't do this to me! Oi!!!! (struggles as three burly men grab him and toss him out the door)
Kogure: Shimata.. ^-^;;
Announcer: So we have Sakuragi, Rukawa and Fujima left. I'll present one final, decisive question to determine the winner. All right?
Nods.
Announcer: Here's a geographical and botanical question. What is a larch?
Sakuragi: Ah! That was in a test sensei gave last week! I know the answer!
Rukawa: D'aho. Don't waste your breath.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!! (but ignores him after an internal struggle with himself) I know the answer!
Fujima(smiling): So do I. ^-^
Announcer: All right. Let's see now. The person who raises his hand first after I whistle will answer the question.
Sakuragi(looks set to pounce on err, the question): Humph.
Fujima(determined gleam in his eye): Ready
Rukawa: *yawn* XO
Annoucer whistles.
Sakuragi's hand shoots up immediately, followed by Fujima's. Note that Rukawa doesn't even bother.
Announcer: Sakuragi?
Sakuragi: Uh, erm, what's the question? O.o I forgot.
Everyone facefaults.
Rukawa: D'aho.
Announcer: Aha, so Fujima then. Fujima?
Fujima: Before I answer can I ask a rhetorical question? ^-^
Announcer: Go ahead. ^-^
Fujima: Has anybody realized that Sakuragi has a very short attention span? ^-^
Announcer(nodding): Your answer? ^-^
Fujima: And that he has a very limited memory as well? ^-^
Annoucer(nodding): Your answer? ^-^;
Fujima: And he gets mad at Rukawa the most? ^-^
Announcer(nodding): Answer? ^-^;;
Fujima: And he surprises us by answering when you least expect it? ^-^
Announcer(nodding in exasperation): Answer? ^-^;;;
Fujima: And that he's remarkably, well, ODD? ^-^
Announcer(ticked off): All right. All right. We all know that. Your answer please.
Fujima(raises hand to indicate that he's not done yet): And he- -
Annoucer(majorly annoyed): Rukawa? What's your answer then?
Fujima: But I know the answer! A larch is a deciduous tree of the pine family!
Announcer(pointedly ignoring him): Rukawa? ^-^
Rukawa(repeating what Fujima just blurted out): A larch is a deciduous tree of the pine family... *yawn* XO
Announcer: Rukawa! You are the winner of the Weakest Link! Congratulations! ^-^
Sakuragi: NANI??!!!! The winner is not this tensai?
Fujima(protesting): But that was my answer!
Maki: Fool.
Mitsui(shrugging): Rukawa as the winner? Ah heck. What can you expect from a bunch of loonies?
Kogure: Congratulations Rukawa! ^-^
Rukawa: *snore*
Everyone: O.O;;;;;;;;
I know this isn't funny. Well look, you wouldn't be funny too if you ran out of ideas and just got frostbite. _ So cut me some slack, will you?
P/S Next up will be the Weakest Link, a SD special 2. PP/S Erm, well, the host was supposed to be as acid and bitchy as the original Weakest Link host. You know, the British one. I shan't name her though, for fear of getting sued. PPP/S Oh yes, I do know how the suing process works. I'm not Kiyota.
Sakuragi(running onstage and shaking Rukawa by the neck): TEME KITSUNE!!!!!!!!! Why is that you can stay when this tensai gets voted out! It's not fair! X/
Kiyota(wailing offstage): Maki-san how could you do this to me! I'm your no. 1 fan! How can you treat me like this? How can you treat me, me, Kiyota Nobunaga, super rookie and future MVP like this? How can you? How? !.!
Maki(eye twitching): That idiot's overreacting... T.T*
Mitsui: Sakuragi! If you want to switch places with me, I'll be glad to! (whispers) I really can't stand another minute of this...if she keeps asking such questions I would have to answer them and everyone will know that I'm smart. I can't let that happen! Never! It would ruin my reputation!
Sakuragi(eyes shining... he's stopped shaking Rukawa by the way): You mean it Mitchy? 0.0
Mitsui nodded.
Sakuragi(starts shaking Rukawa again in his new found joy): NYAHAHAHAH!!!!! The tensai will stay in the game! =D
Maki: You sure about this Mitsui? O.o
Mitsui: Of course.
Fujima: Mou... I've tried so hard to rid of him... ^-^
Mitsui: O.o
Announcer: All right then! Sakuragi will take Mitsui's place! We're going back on air in. ^-^
Cameraman:.. three..two...one...you're on!
Announcer(smiling into the camera): Welcome back to the Weakest Link a Slam Dunk special! Sakuragi and Mitsui have traded places so our finalists in the fifth round are Maki, Fujima, Rukawa and Sakuragi. ^-^
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Announcer: The first question... How do you describe a 'gobbledegook' person?
Fujima: That sounds suspiciously like turkey language and unfortunately I don't speak Turkish (get it? ;p it's lame I know.. ^-^;;)
Maki: Are you sure there's such a word? O.o
Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Just because you don't know it doesn't mean it doesn't exist! =D
Maki: If you're so smart answer the question.
Rukawa: D'aho.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!! X/
Fujima: Here's a question! Has anyone realized that Rukawa always somehow wakes up just to insult Sakuragi? ^-^
Maki: Ah.... Only you would... O.o;;
Announcer: Back to the question please! ^-^
Sakuragi: A gobble-what? Can you repeat it?
Mitsui(snorting from the audience): See, if you don't know the word it's very likely that you won't know what it means so DON'T BOTHER YOU BAKA!
Sakuragi(loudly): I am not going to get mad at Mitchy because he was nice to me just now..I am not going to get mad at ...
Everyone: O.O;;
Rukawa: D'aho. Noisy monkey.
Sakuragi(stops talking loudly to himself): TEME!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Fujima: Here's another question! How many times did Sakuragi say 'TEME' to Rukawa since the game started? ^-^
Maki: Fujima?
Fujima: Yes Maki? ^-^
Maki: You're weird you know that? O.O;;
Fujima: ^-^
Maki: Anyway, announcer-san, I don't know the answer.
Sakuragi: I do! I do! ^-^/ (waves arm furiously about) The answer is.. ah.... a turkey? .
Rukawa: D'aho. It's a person who uses very pompous language like yourself.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! X/
Announcer: That's right! ^-^ the succeeding question, how many players are there in a soccer team?
Maki: Is this a trick question? It can't possibly be that simple right? O.6
Fujima: On the field playing or including those on the bench? ^-^
Sakuragi(thinking): These two are mad.... O.O;; (audibly) Eleven.
Announcer: Yes! ^-^ And so what does MEP stand for?
Sakuragi: Most valuable player! {is not very fluent in English, wait no, is utterly, disastrously hopeless in English} and that is me! The tensai! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!! =D
Kiyota(backstage): BAKERU! It's not you! It's Maki-san! X/ How can it be you? Never in a million zillion trillion gazillion years! Only this super rookie Kiyota Nobunaga will succeed Maki-san as MVP! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! =D
Sakuragi: URUSAI NOSARU! You're out of the game because you're too stupid so don't be noisy! X/
Kiyota: You're only in the game because Mitsui-san took pity on your pathetic self! Don't be bossy to me! X/
Kogure(backstage): Maa maa..Kiyota. The game's still playing on air.. ^-^;;
Maki: That idiot. Shame of Kainandai. T.T*
Fujima: Most efficient player? ^-^
Rukawa(miraculously awake without intending to insult Sakuragi): Most excellent player. Hnn.
Maki: Most extraordinary player?
Sakuragi: Most.... (racks his brains for an 'e' word) extraterrestrial player?
Everyone: O.O;;
Fujima: I don't think that's quite right. ^-^
Announcer: If it means you, then it should be most ebullient, entertaining, egregious and effusive player in basketball history and in this show's history. ^-^
Sakuragi: @-@
Maki: Most engaging player?
Announcer: Why do all of you have such narrow outlooks? It's Member of the European Parliament! ^-^ My god, you're stupid.
Maki(cursing silently): Bitch.
Fujima(to himself): Bitch.
Sakuragi(still lost): ? @-@
Sendoh(from the audience): Yay! That's the way to go announcer-san! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Kogure: Now that's not very nice.. ^-^;; (to himself) bitch.
Announcer(smiling): Well thank you for the compliments I'm getting paid for being bitchy now shall we go on to the next question? ^-^
Everyone: She's pissed isn't she? O.O;;
Announcer: Our next question what do you call a person with no brains? ^-^
Everyone: Yep, she's pissed.. O.O;;;;;;;
Sakuragi: Rukawa! NYAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! =D
Announcer(coolly): I should think that should be yourself. ^-^
Sakuragi: Ara? But this tensai didn't do anything to upset you? Why take it out on me? 0.0 (wide-eyed with tears)
Anouncer: Actually you're right. So for the fun of it we'll skip this question since we already know the answer. ^-^\/ (flashes peace sign). Next one then.
Everyone: O.O;;
Announcer: Explain hotfoot. ^-^
Sakuragi: You're a Lord of the Rings fan too? O.O
Mitsui(slapping his hand to his forehead): I think I'd rather expose my brilliance than to have Shohoku be embarrassed by such a fool. My biggest mistake.
Fujima(sweetly): That's hobbit, Sakuragi. You've got the words mixed up. ^- ^
Sakuragi(scratching his head): What's the difference? (Fujima opens his mouth to speak but he cuts him off with an arrogant wave of his hand) Never mind, the tensai knows. Just checking.
Maki: Right. O.O;;
Annoucer: So? ^-^
Sakuragi(blank look): So what? O.O
Kiyota(yelling): Answer the damn question you stupid saru! X/ Mitsui-san! You should have traded with me instead! Why did you choose that baka saru instead of me? Why?!!!
Mitsui: O.O;; (thinking) As if you're any better.
Sakuragi: URUSAI you! X/ (loudly to himself) I will not get mad at such a stupid person, I will NOT get mad at such a stupid person!
Rukawa: D'aho
Sakuragi: What did you say you baka kitsune?!!! X/
Maki: Oi Sakuragi.
Sakuragi(turns to him): What is it oyaji?
Maki flinches slightly.
Maki: If you won't answer then I will.
Sakuragi(rubbing the back of his head sheepishly): AHAHAHAHAH! Suman! I forgot about the question!
Announcer: You're wasting valuable time which you don't deserve Sakuragi. Time is money. Money is time. Don't waste time, and don't waste money if you know what's good for you.
Sakuragi: Ahahahaha~ (looks at audience) What does she mean by that?
Collective sigh from the audience.
Rukawa: Great haste.
Sakuragi: What did you call me kitsune? What?!!! X/
Rukawa sighs.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!!!!! Don't ignore the tensai! X/
Rukawa yawns.
Sakuragi: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! (a string of foul words escape his mouth)
Sendoh: Ganbatte yo Sakuragi-kun!
Mitsui: I officially declare myself as the only sane person in this studio.
Announcer: All right. Great haste then. I mean, the answer. Votes? ^-^
Maki(glancing at a fuming Sakuragi and a purposely-infuriating-him Rukawa): Myself please.
Fujima(taking advantage of the situation): Maki.
Sakuragi: KITSUNE! KITSUNE! X/
Rukawa: D'aho.
Announcer: Well, then, since Maki has two votes....you're the weakest link then! See you! ^-^
Maki bows and departs.
Sakuragi(hadn't realized what had actually happened): Oi! Oyaji! Where are you going?
Sendoh: Oi! Announcer-san! I thought you liked him!
Announcer: Security, please throw that loud-mouth fellow out of my studio please. ^-^
Sendoh: Oi! Oi! You can't do this to me! Oi!!!! (struggles as three burly men grab him and toss him out the door)
Kogure: Shimata.. ^-^;;
Announcer: So we have Sakuragi, Rukawa and Fujima left. I'll present one final, decisive question to determine the winner. All right?
Nods.
Announcer: Here's a geographical and botanical question. What is a larch?
Sakuragi: Ah! That was in a test sensei gave last week! I know the answer!
Rukawa: D'aho. Don't waste your breath.
Sakuragi: TEME!!!! (but ignores him after an internal struggle with himself) I know the answer!
Fujima(smiling): So do I. ^-^
Announcer: All right. Let's see now. The person who raises his hand first after I whistle will answer the question.
Sakuragi(looks set to pounce on err, the question): Humph.
Fujima(determined gleam in his eye): Ready
Rukawa: *yawn* XO
Annoucer whistles.
Sakuragi's hand shoots up immediately, followed by Fujima's. Note that Rukawa doesn't even bother.
Announcer: Sakuragi?
Sakuragi: Uh, erm, what's the question? O.o I forgot.
Everyone facefaults.
Rukawa: D'aho.
Announcer: Aha, so Fujima then. Fujima?
Fujima: Before I answer can I ask a rhetorical question? ^-^
Announcer: Go ahead. ^-^
Fujima: Has anybody realized that Sakuragi has a very short attention span? ^-^
Announcer(nodding): Your answer? ^-^
Fujima: And that he has a very limited memory as well? ^-^
Annoucer(nodding): Your answer? ^-^;
Fujima: And he gets mad at Rukawa the most? ^-^
Announcer(nodding): Answer? ^-^;;
Fujima: And he surprises us by answering when you least expect it? ^-^
Announcer(nodding in exasperation): Answer? ^-^;;;
Fujima: And that he's remarkably, well, ODD? ^-^
Announcer(ticked off): All right. All right. We all know that. Your answer please.
Fujima(raises hand to indicate that he's not done yet): And he- -
Annoucer(majorly annoyed): Rukawa? What's your answer then?
Fujima: But I know the answer! A larch is a deciduous tree of the pine family!
Announcer(pointedly ignoring him): Rukawa? ^-^
Rukawa(repeating what Fujima just blurted out): A larch is a deciduous tree of the pine family... *yawn* XO
Announcer: Rukawa! You are the winner of the Weakest Link! Congratulations! ^-^
Sakuragi: NANI??!!!! The winner is not this tensai?
Fujima(protesting): But that was my answer!
Maki: Fool.
Mitsui(shrugging): Rukawa as the winner? Ah heck. What can you expect from a bunch of loonies?
Kogure: Congratulations Rukawa! ^-^
Rukawa: *snore*
Everyone: O.O;;;;;;;;
I know this isn't funny. Well look, you wouldn't be funny too if you ran out of ideas and just got frostbite. _ So cut me some slack, will you?
P/S Next up will be the Weakest Link, a SD special 2. PP/S Erm, well, the host was supposed to be as acid and bitchy as the original Weakest Link host. You know, the British one. I shan't name her though, for fear of getting sued. PPP/S Oh yes, I do know how the suing process works. I'm not Kiyota.