Why You Should Never Let Cute Guys in Your Conscience Be Your Guide

~ Elle's Notes: This did not happen for real. (don't I wish) But if you drink 5 cans of Dr. Pepper and a bag of Pixi Stix, it will seem very real .~

CONSCIENCE GUIDES: Elijah Wood (my sweet baboo) Hayden Christensen Tobey Maguire Ewan McGregor Noah Wile

Else is in her room lying on her bed staring at the ceiling .She is a bit sad. She doesn't have a boyfriend and

Elle: ~ singing to herself ~ Why does my heart cry?

Ewan: ~ singing off in the distance ~ Feelings I can't fight.

Elle: ~ pauses ~ looks around ~ Where are you? Why are you here?

Ewan: ~ still singing ~ You're free to leave me.

Elle: ~ a bit confused ~ Just please don't deceive me.

Elle & Ewan: And believe me when I say... I love you! ~ Ewan bursts through room door ~

Elle: ~ sits up in surprise ~ Ah!

Ewan: Good afternoon.

Elle: Should I ask why you are in my room? Here? Now?

Ewan: No. I'm just here.

Elle: Oh, sorry I asked.

Ewan: Another round for that heart wrenching song?

Elle: Yes. Please.

Elle & Ewan: Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight. You're free to leave me, just please don't deceive me. And please, believe me when I say... I love you!

Toby: ~ off in the distance ~ STOP!!!!

Elijah: ~ obviously with Toby coming closer ~ Please make it end!

Hayden: ~ with Elijah and Toby arriving at door ~ I can't take it anymore!

Ewan: What's wrong?

Elle: Are we out of tune?

Tobey: No, the self-pity! Stop with the whole self-pity thing!

Elle: Oh. I'm sorry. I'm just really sad and frustrated. But maybe if Elijah came just a little closer, I'll solve world hunger if you'd like.

Ewan: Right...

Hayden: We just don't want to hear it anymore.

Elle: Do you have any idea what is going on in my life right now? What I have to put up with daily? What I'm going through?

Elijah: Of course we know. We've always known.

Elle: Hold on. Can I take that back? Why are you here?

Tobey: Because you need some much-needed guidance.

Elle: And that makes you special because...

Elijah: We're your conscience.

Elle: My conscience is a bunch of guys I think are ridiculously good looking?

Hayden: Why yes. We were hand-picked by yourself.

Elle: Well then. One of you is missing.

Tobey: Really? There's me, hobbit dude, lightsaber boy and the music man. Whom else are we forgetting?

Elle: ~ closes her eyes and thinks really hard ~

Noah: ~ walks in ~ Hey, did I miss anything?

Elle: Noah!

Elijah: How come she didn't act this happy when I came in before? I'm very confused.

~ Suddenly Katie walks into the room grabs Tobey ~

KT: Wrong conscience Tobey boy, you're with me.

Tobey: Sorry Elle byt KT is the only girl for me ~ Tobey puts on his spider mask on and grabs KT as they swing to NYC ~

Elle: I knew she would do that. ~ crosses arms ~ I hate her.

Noah: Bummer.

Elijah: Well, who does your other little sister get?

Elle: ~ closes eyes and thinks really hard ~

~ Cave Troll breaks down wall ~

C.T.: Grrr. Arg.

Hayden: ~ Whips out lightsaber and blows it to little snack size bits sold separately at you local food store ~

Elijah: Ah! ~ smacks Hayden ~ I was supposed to do that!

Hayden: Jee Wiz. You're welcome.

Elijah: I have my own weapon thank you very much.

Hayden: Oh yeah?

Elijah: ~ draws Sting ~

Hayden: Oh. It shines blue. So what? So does mine.

Elijah: It's shinning blue!? Where's the orc?

Elle: Next door to my room. Don't bother.

Elijah: Well at least mine is Elvin made.

Hayden: Well I made mine my self!

Elle: Boys! Stop!

Noah: ~ his beeper goes off ~ Oh sorry. Gotta split. Good luck!

Elle: Bye. ~ Sigh ~ There goes another one.

Elijah: Why was he here in the first place.

Elle: He's just cute.

Elijah: Oh.

Elle: ~ falls on her bed again in despair ~ Oh, woe is me.

Hayden: Oh, not again.

Ewan: Any song requests?

Elijah: If anything, something perky.

Ewan: ~ singing ~ Oops, I did it again. I played with your hear. Got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby.

Elijah: ~ pulling Elle up ~ Here's what you gotta do.

Hayden: #1 Pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

Ewan: You might think we're in love. That I'm sent from above.

Elijah: #2 Bow Your Nose

Hayden: Yeah, wait a sec..ewwwww

Ewan: I'm not that innocent.

Elijah: Uh Ewan, just, no.

Hayden: Ewan please cut it out!

Elle: Ok. Brittney Spears. BAD IDEA!

Ewan: Sorry. You said something perky.

Elle: Just stick to "Roxanne" or even better, just hum it.

Ewan: Alright. ~ faces a corner and hums "Roxanne" ~

Hayden: I believe that about wraps this up. You are semi-problem free for now.

Elle: But you guys are forgetting the most important part!!!

Hayden: Eh?

Elle: A boyfriend! I want a boyfriend! I want somebody to name stars after me even though they already have some other name. I want to receive bouquets that have their roots still attached. I want somebody to take me to favorite movies and dances. Somebody who I can talk to for hours and want to hold their hand every instant they are around. Somebody to walk me home, and save a seat for me on the bus.

Elijah: Oh. I see. We can't really help you there. That's your own ally.

Hayden: Are you sure you want to get into that business?

Elle: I ache for one with every fiber of my being.

Hayden: Well then. Just wait. A good person is bound to come your way any minute. We have to leave you now to make your own decisions.

Elijah: Bye.

Ewan: ~ stopped humming ~ See you later!

Hayden: A pleasure to be of service madam. ~ and everyone begins to walk out of the door ~

Elle: ~ grabs Elijah by the shirt collar ~ Wait! You can't leave yet. ~ shuts door behind them giggling~