Heaven Can Wait
~Mirai
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Heaven is calling me. . .
Heaven needs me. . .
But Heaven will have to wait. . ."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
+A/N+
~Heaven Can Wait is a CCS fic inspired by Seygull's site of the same title. Visit her page @
~To be honest, I haven't seen very many episodes of CCS's second season, so I had to a bunch of researching and I ended up reading a lot of spoilers in order to get this story to work. XP I apologize 4 any further errors.
~Thanx go out 2 Ayame/Lisa/Robert/Sherbie for helping me out! ^_^
+Footnotes+
~Some Japanese/Chinese texts are marked with a bracketed number. Refer to the bottom of the page for translations. [Commonly used words are left untranslated.]
Chapter 1: [Sleepless Dreamer]
I... I can't feel myself. Where... am I? Kero-- Kero-chan?! Dokoniiruno[1], Kero-chan!??
"...Kero-chan...!?!"
I was responded only with the faint echoes of my own desperate voice, chanting 'chan... chan.....' repeatedly, as if it were mocking me and emphasizing the fact that I was alone.
Darkness enveloped my body, like I've just been swallowed- must've been my imagination, but I actually felt it, tight and cold against my skin.
My mind flooded with countless inquiries. How did I get here? Why was it so dark!? I couldn't see... I needed-- I needed my Light Card! I----
I....
I froze instantly.
I wasn't alone...
Someone was here with me. Although I was blind in this lightless area, I could sense the presence of another individual. There wasn't a need for me to feel endangered, but I decided to stay cautious for my own sake.
"I know you're here with me!" I stated simply, constantly turning around and shifting my position to catch a glimpse of the one that I was trapped with. But I knew perfectly well that I wouldn't be able to see a thing as long as I was here.
The other being was trying to connect to me. I couldn't understand how it was able to speak to me, but the message did manage to come through. Its form of communication perplexed me at first... for it came to me mentally.
I was fooled for an instant into thinking that the words were my own, for the voice speaking in my head uncannily resembled mine. But I knew better than that. I knew which thoughts were my own and which were implanted by another. This creature... it was borrowing my voice- my distinct articulation; my inimitable tone, to converse with me.
Help me, it said. I don't want to suffer any more than I already have...
Help you from what? I replied through thought.
My question was either ignored or it wasn't heard. It resumed speaking without responding to me.
I-- I can't predict the future. What's going to happen to me?
I shut my eyes firmly, desperately grasping onto the words I was psychologically hearing. Concentrating had never been so difficult. But then, suddenly, my tension melted- only to rejuvenate into anxiety. It was only a small, simple phrase that seized my complete attention- but what that [spiritual?] being told me was enough to leave me unexplainably shaken.
Sometimes, I feel... I feel like I'm trapped in a....
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
{Excerpt ~ ·Sakura no Shia-naru·[2]}
A prophecy, it said. Like I'm trapped in a prophecy.
These kinds of dreams have returned to me once again. You know, those dreams that are supposed to be a premonition of the upcoming future? What were those called again--? Well, I guess that's not really important. I need to find out what this vision means. I'm no dream interpreter, but I have this magical sense that something unpredictable is about to happen. I just wish I had enough power in me to see the entire dream and understand its concept.
It was weird- and I bet it's going to be just as hard to interpret. I wouldn't exactly say that the setting was pure darkness... More like... well, like my dream never showed me where I was. Maybe I'll be able to see it in the next dream. It's all just a matter of time, I guess.
I've already decided not to tell Kero-chan about it. After all, I don't believe it has anything to do with the Clow Cards. It's more like a personal affair of mine. And anyway, I think it's time I started resolving problems on my own.
Oh well, on a different matter, I've noticed that oniichan has been awfully quiet lately. He hasn't seemed very happy... I should ask him about it sometime. Oh, and I've also noticed that he's been really overprotective of me, too-- kinda like... like maybe he thinks I'm in danger? His senses are very powerful, Kero-chan told me, but I have no idea what oniichan is capable of.
Ara! I hear oniichan's footsteps. It's past nine o'clock- he's coming to check up on me... I better get to bed.
Kinomoto Sakura
Jan. 23, 1998; 21:06
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Touyaaaaaa--!"
The one so called cringed internally as he felt a pair of arms thrown around his neck. Now was not a good time for him to be bothered.
Still over Touya's back, Nakuru waved a free hand across the table, shouting cheerfully, "Yuki, hi!"
Yukito stood, holding a large paper bag full of newly-purchased groceries, and acknowledged Nakuru with a friendly smile.
Touya did not welcome her the same way. He struggled out of her reach and bolted up from his chair with a threatening expression.
Nakuru noticed this, but simply grinned at the sight of him agitated. "Come on, Touya, let's see your smile."
She reached out to touch him, just before Touya quickly grasped her wrist and fiercely shoved her away, replying bitterly, "I will make that my own business."
Nakuru stared at him blankly, blinking every few seconds to keep her eyes from tiring. Then her eyes narrowed slightly and she gave him a look that seemed almost suspicious. She turned to Yukito, extended her arm to point an accusing finger in Touya's direction, and said with an ungrateful voice, "Tell me when that bastard over there puts his act together and stops being such a pain in the ass to be around!"
She flipped long chestnut strands of hair casually over her shoulder, turned so that her back was to their faces, and simply walked off.
Both Touya and Yukito slowly slipped into their seats at that moment. They were on their lunch break and had left school grounds to spend their spare time at a local restaurant. The two of them sat at opposite ends of the patio table outdoors, Touya staring off absent-mindedly into space and Yukito rummaging through the bag of groceries which was still cradled in his left arm. His right hand finally found a piece of fruit and it wasn't long before he began to sink his teeth into it. He had not yet spoken a single word.
This wasn't the first time Yukito had seen his friend like this. He hadn't bothered asking Touya about it because he was afraid it would anger him. To him, the truth was solely that Touya just didn't look happy. Upset wasn't a very good word to describe his mood. Disturbed maybe? No. Depressed? Confused, miserable, suicidal??
Touya suddenly reached across the patio table and swiftly grabbed the apple from Yukito's hand. There was only a single bite in it; Yukito had been so occupied in thought that he had forgotten about the apple secured between his fingers.
Touya slowly rocked the fruit in front of him, examining its surface, and contemplating at the same time. The skin of the ruby-red apple gleamed in elaborate scarlet highlights under the influence of the winter midday sun.
"You don't have to worry about me," Touya assured his best friend.
Yukito was startled. He had assumed that Touya didn't realize he was here. And his words... It was as if he had read his mind.
"Touya...?" Yukito responded, at a loss for words.
"I appreciate you too much to hurt you." Touya continued, finally taking a bite into the apple.
There was a distressing silence between them from then on. Yukito found himself involuntarily staring at his folded hands while Touya chewed soundlessly and monotonously.
Slow minutes passed by when at last, Touya finished off the apple and tossed the remaining core into the nearby trash receptacle, depicting a perfect endeavor when the apple's remnants emitted a thud at the pit of the container. From there, Touya let his chin fall into his crossed fingers and sighed. After a few blinks and breaths, he lifted himself from his seat with support from the table and took a step away from where he was just sitting.
"Where are you going?" Yukito asked him.
"Going to take a short walk." Touya told him in a quiet voice. "Just to clear my mind."
"Touya... you don't seem like yourself. Anything wrong?"
Touya was silenced. The hands at his sides compressed into tight fists, but not from anger or frustration. They shook, constantly clenching and unclenching until he finally settled them on his weary face.
Yukito regretted his question after seeing him like that. "Touya, I'm so sorry... Did I upset y--"
"I told you not to worry about me." he interrupted softly and reassuringly. He approached Yukito slowly and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'll be okay."
Touya began to depart again after he thrust a hand into the grocery bag and quickly withdrew another apple. He pitched it into the air a few inches above his hand to recapture it firmly in his palm, then bringing it to his teeth.
Cold winds stung at his cheek and whipped through his hair as he walked on, fingers numb from clutching the apple so tensely.
"Sakura," he whispered to no one in particular. I can read you all too well.
Steadily he treaded through the thin snow and recollected his thoughts.
"I don't want you going out alone," Touya had told his sister one previous night not too long ago. "I'm responsible for you and I'd hate if you got h--"
"Oniichan!" she had screamed desperately. "I need to go, please understand!" Touya had remembered seeing tears forming in Sakura's eyes. But when he had asked her for the reason why she needed to leave, she could not give him a response. She had opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
I still don't have an answer from you, Sakura, Touya recalled. I said to you, "You can tell me anything and I will understand. And that is a promise."
And then you stared at me, doubtful and trembling, debating whether or not you were going to explain to me. But instead of giving me the reply I wanted, you asked me, "E, oniichan, naze? Why are you doing this?"
It was then when I gave you the simple truth. "Boku ha omae no ani dakara.[3]"
Touya then approached his destination. He slid a hand over the icy bar of the railing, barely noticing the sting of cold crawling up his arm.
It's always been a natural duty of mine to watch over you. But it seems to me like you don't need me to fulfill my job anymore. You're growing up too fast, Sakura, much too fast for me to keep up. I guess then, you don't need me for anything now- is that right, Himeko-chan?[4] Are you not my little princess anymore?
I'm not surprised. I'm not needed for anything. I'm just an obstacle...
Touya polished the apple's surface with his frost-bitten fingers, but found himself unable to eat the fruit. He dropped it into the pale, covered ground, watching it sink into the short depths of soft, fresh-fallen snow. Then he turned his attention back over the railing.
He was standing at the center of a tall bridge at an immense height, staring blankly at the slow-flowing waters. Touya glanced downward and spit into the river. It seemed to have taken several minutes for the spray to join the larger mass of liquid.
The water looks shallow, he realized, placing his foot over the bar and lifting himself over the railing until his entire body was just one leap away from falling. Oh well, if I can't drown I can always freeze to death. He took one brief glance at his watch. Geez, I've wasted fifteen minutes now... Better get to it- Whatever's in store for me next- I'm coming...
And he jumped.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Yukito glanced at his watch the same time Touya did. It's been fifteen minutes... he thought worriedly. He tried not to think about him, but found that to be nearly impossible. He knew Touya too well to believe that he left only to take a walk. And there was no way Yukito was going to let him do anything stupid.
He sat up immediately and sprinted Touya's path. He approached the foot of the bridge soon after and ran across it. But he stopped halfway. Yukito squatted down and picked up a single item from the ground.
Touya... Fear clutched him like a venomous snake wrapped around his body. He dropped the apple immediately and rushed to the railing. He scanned the vast water, and caught a vague glimpse of what he thought to be Touya's dark hair.
"TOUYA-!" he screamed.
With little hesitation, Yukito tossed his glasses into the snow and shook off his blazer, pushed his sleeves up and plunged into the river. He swam with great speed towards Touya, begging and praying that he would be all right, and trying hard to ignore the freezing pain. When at last he reached him, Yukito seized his body and hauled him in the direction of land, struggling as best as he could to get him there as soon as possible.
Finally he used the last of his strength to heave the both of them onto the rocky shoreline. Yukito panted lightly as Touya got to his hands and knees and began to cough up water. Yukito saw that his friend was shivering severely. His eyes met the top of the bridge where his dry blazer was, and so he got to his feet instantly and hurried atop the bridge. He picked the piece of clothing up and shook off excess snow, throwing his glasses on in the process.
When he returned to Touya, he noticed that he was quietly choking. He felt deep pity for him when he caped the blazer around him. Slowly, Yukito reached out a hand to place on Touya's shoulder.
"Don't... touch me." Touya warned in between coughs.
"N-nani...?"
"Why did you do that!? Damn you, WHY?!" Touya's voice was hoarse but equally bitter. There was frustration in his eyes when he spoke. "I told you not to... not to.... Why...?" His voice started to break. He was evidently too exhausted and upset to continue. His arms trembled as he failed to support himself and began to collapse.
Yukito caught him at the right time, and Touya passed out soon after.
Yukito held him carefully in his arms and touched his own head to Touya's. "Touya..." he whispered, allowing small tears to quiver from the corner of his eyes.
From there, he pulled Touya on top of him and draped his arms around his neck. Yukito then got to his feet and carried both of them back to Touya's home.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[1] Where are you?
[2] Journal
[3] Because I am your big brother
[4] {nickname meaning} Princess Child
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
So... what'd u think? Good, bad, excellent, crappy? I'd like to know!! Pweeease review! ^_^ This first chapter is just getting into the plot- It doesn't have anything too important. I'm planning around 9-12+ chapters in total- so please be patient while I get off my lazy ass to write some more. XD