+A/N+

~This chapter consists of PAST events. Note, this entire chapter is NOT from Sakura's point of view! It focuses a lot on Touya actually, and his past relationship with Mizuki Kaho.

~Remember in the last chapter, Sakura had a stuffed bunny on her desk? Good, keep that in mind.

Chapter 4: [The Day I Woke Up Next To You]

It was a tranquil autumn of 1994. Peach blossoms that had spawned on the trees were beginning to flutter along the wind. The school day had just ended and Touya prepared himself to leave. He walked his usual route alone, noticing that the air had chilled quickly and the sun was ready to set along the crimson horizon.

The spirits were starting to agitate him now. He was paid a visit constantly by troubled souls who could not rest. They just couldn't leave him alone.

Just because I was cursed with this ability... he thought.

He was missing a good friend, and he wished there was someone he could express himself to.

Then there was Kaho. Her last day of student teaching had come too soon for him. She had left that afternoon when math class ended, and Touya missed her already.

He stopped at a small intersection and made a turn toward Tsukimine Shrine. Touya spotted her by the temple's entrance, sweeping decaying leaves off to the side. How peaceful and complacent she looked by herself, taking joy in the simplest chore. Her eyes, like rubies, appealed to him the very moment they met, and her lips were always in the shape of a friendly smile.

Touya approached her reluctantly and greeted her.

Kaho separated herself from her chore as her long hair danced playfully in the wind. "Good evening, Touya."

He was suddenly at a loss for words. She had that effect on him, where he would forget everything he had planned to say. But he loved her so very much.

"So I guess it won't be so awkward for you anymore, now that I'm no longer your teacher." There was a hint of regret in her words.

"I won't see you as often anymore."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," she told him. "We'll be sure to visit frequently, even if we won't see each other in school."

"I'll still miss seeing you every morning in the classroom. I looked forward to math classes because of you."

Kaho chuckled. "I always searched for your face first when I entered the room. You had a way of brightening my day whenever I saw you, no matter how bad I felt."

She reached over to pat him on the head. "You're a good boy, Touya."

And then she picked up her broom again and returned to her task. However, Touya could not bear to leave her just yet. He took a hold of her hand and she stopped immediately.

"I... love you." He said shyly.

Their fingers left each other as Touya turned to leave.

"Wait, Touya!" Kaho called after him. "Would you like to come in?"

And so he did. The two of them were alone in the Tsukimine Shrine; they prepared supper and dined together. It started out fairly quiet, before Kaho brought upon a conversation. Soon enough, words turned into laughter and the meal was close to disappearing. Touya felt warm and comforted in her home.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked him as soon as the table was cleared.

"Yes, please."

She joined him on the couch a few moments later and poured a cup of tea for the both of them.

"I'm glad you stopped by today." she sighed.

Touya smiled.

Kaho closed her eyes and leaned into the arms of her lover. "You know those words you told me before you came in? Well... I love you too, Touya."

His hand found hers and they embraced in silence for a short while.

"I feel at ease when I'm with you," she breathed, ready to fall asleep.

"I do too." Touya responded. And he meant it. Suddenly, his loneliness; his frustration; his distraught- they all seemed so distant now.

~~~~

He woke up the next morning with the warm feeling of Kaho's skin. Touya released a soft moan as he realized he was naked. The sun's rays peaked through the blinds and scattered the wall with linear patterns of light.

"Ohayo, Touya-chan," a soft voice whispered in his ear. A few strands of hair tickled his face and woke him up. Touya's eyes slowly lifted and met the welcoming eyes of his lover.

Kaho kissed him and then smiled. She sat up on her elbows with her chin in her hands.

"Did you sleep ok?" she asked.

He nodded. "And you?"

She giggled. "Yeah." Kaho brushed the dark hair out of his eyes. "You're beautiful, Touya."

He grinned sheepishly. Then his face grew serious. "I wonder how Sakura slept last night without me in the house."

"Ah, you're little sister. Isn't your father home too?"

"Yes. But she'll be worrying about where I've been. I hope she's alright." Touya removed himself from under the covers and dressed himself.

Kaho sat straight up and covered herself in the sheets. "It's nice of you, Touya, to care so much for your sister. I've seen her a couple of times with you. She looks like a very mystical girl, very full of spirit."

Touya chuckled. "Little pipsqueak."

"Send my regards to her. I'll be seeing her more in the future."

Touya leaned down to send a light kiss to her neck. "I will." He did not ask her about the second part to her sentence.

"I'll see you later." she waved.

"I won't forget this," Touya told her. "The day I woke up next to you..."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

"Oniichan!!!"

Touya rushed across the hall and barged into his little sister's room, wearing a t-shirt and shorts he had just thrown on. "Sakura...?" he gasped. It was late, maybe about 3 am. He approached her and quickly flicked on the lamp by her beside table.

"Where's okaasan[1]...?" she sobbed. "Oniichan, where is she?"

Touya felt his heart breaking. Mother had been long gone by now- Touya had already entered his freshman year at high school. However, Sakura was just a child at 7 years. He always had to remind himself that she was still just a little girl with a short life experience and a naive view on the world.

He sat down at the foot of Sakura's bed and patted her hand gently. "You were dreaming. Are you okay?"

"Otosan, he's at work?" she asked.

Their father had spent more than a generous amount of time lately at the University. He worried about leaving his two children alone, but Touya assured him that they would be fine.

He nodded for his sister and smiled. "So he's left me in charge of you."

"Oniichan, why can't okaasan be with me too?" She felt tears again.

Touya sighed. "Sakura, she didn't choose to leave you. She fell sick. I'm sure if she had gotten better, she'd be with us right now." Touya leaned closer and winked his left eye mischievously. "Keep this a secret... But sometimes I can still see her. Sometimes it feels just like she is here, watching us all the time." He pressed Sakura's nose lightly with his index finger. She giggled, as if she had believed him.

"Oyasumi." He lifted himself off her bed.

"Um, oniichan?"

He turned to face her again. "Yes?"

"Can you stay with me for tonight? Please?"

When he looked into her eyes, the moisture he had seen was starting to dry. Yet that expression he could distinguish- so frightened and frail. He couldn't bear to leave her.

"Okay. Just for tonight."

Sakura smiled.

Touya rested his body over her sheets and watched Sakura's eyelids fall. Unexpectedly, she suddenly wrapped an arm around her brother's neck. Touya's eyes, which were just about to drop, flew open immediately, only to close gently again. There was warmth in her body that comforted him. He smiled.

"I love you, 'niichan." Sakura whispered before falling asleep.

Several minutes later, when Sakura's placid breathing was the only thing Touya could hear, he slowly began to stroke her hair to pacify her in her sleep.

"Me too." he finally said. "Boku ha omae no ani dakara.[2]" He kissed her softly on the head.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Sunshine laid on Sakura's closed eyelids and woke her gradually. She pushed back the hair on her face and sat up quickly.

"Oniichan...?"

Her bed was empty. She could hear her brother in the kitchen preparing breakfast. Sakura stole a glance at her clock then crawled out from under her sheets. She spent five minutes in the washroom, dressing and grooming before descending the stairs.

"'Morning." she greeted sleepily.

Touya set a glass of orange juice and a bowl of cereal on the table in front of her. "You're quite early. Pretty unusual, don't you think?" he teased.

She gave him a playful look of disgust. "The sun was in my face," she replied. "So... I just decided to wake up."

Touya grinned. "Now you're blaming things on the weather." He shook his head and wagged an index finger. "Always blaming others!"

Sakura stuck out her tongue. Slowly, she then began to eat.

Touya examined his sister while she ate. She looked deep in thought. At times, she would glance over at okaasan's photo. It's been several years after her death, but it seemed since Sakura's dream, she realized how much she had missed her. Touya believed it was just a phase for her, and it would soon fade out.

"I'll be home a little late tonight," he announced. "And... otosan will still be away. There's lots of food left in the fridge for you, so don't worry, ok? Be sure to eat without me. I won't be out for too long."

A hurt expression came across her face. "I don't want to be alone. Where will you be?"

Touya sighed. "I promised Kaho I'd see her tonight."

"Mizuki-san?" she queried. "But I thought she stopped teaching you about a year ago."

"She did. That's not why I'm seeing her. She said she had something important to tell me. I'm sorry, Sakura, please don't be upset."

"It's ok," she replied quietly, returning her attention to breakfast.

"I'll make it up to you." Touya promised.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

He stopped by the same intersection and walked into Tsukimine Shrine. He saw her there, waiting for him, like the day he spotted her outside the temple one year ago. How beautiful she looked, dressed for an occasion in a stunning kimono, illuminated by the burning lanterns that surrounded her. Her hair was loosely braided and hung over one shoulder. She appeared as a goddess before his eyes.

"Kaho." He held her close to him and lost himself in her touch.

"You came."

"I'm here. What did you have to tell me?"

She hesitated for a second and smiled without looking at him. "I'm going to study abroad."

The words came to Touya in an instant. It took him several blinks to finally understand what she had just told him. His heart took a leap so suddenly. "Study abroad!?" he exploded.

Kaho just kept smiling like she had not heard his outraged expression.

"When!? When are you leaving?!"

"Tomorrow," she replied bluntly.

"Tomorrow??" Touya cried. "That's too soon!"

"It's not so sudden for me. I made the decision two months ago."

"What?" Touya gasped. "Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"It would have bothered you, wouldn't it? I'd hate to be around you only to feel sad. You don't like feeling depressed, do you, Touya?"

"That's not the point!" he said, frustrated.

Kaho took his hand in hers, rested her head on his shoulder and shut her eyes. "It's been a year since my last day of student teaching," she reminisced. "The day you told me, 'I love you,' here at the Tsukimine Shrine. You were on your way home from school..."

She paused and giggled quietly. Touya wrapped an arm around her as she spoke.

"I was so very happy," she continued. "I loved you a lot, too. It was so fun to be with you every day, Touya."

"Why- What's with the past tense?" he wondered.

"Because it's the past."

There was a silence as Kaho placed a hand softly on Touya's cheek and looked at him gently, never letting go of that same comforting smile.

She kissed him. "Let's break up."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The walk home from visiting Kaho was not a pleasant one. The winter solstice was slowly creeping forward, and nights were beginning to break earlier. Dusk had arrived and the moon was ready to dominate the night sky.

He would see faces appearing before him- faces that could not be seen by others. The spirits came every night. Disturbed individuals whose lives fed on tormenting others.

Touya had become accustomed to their presence. He no longer felt as scared as he used to. But they were always there, calling out to him, seducing him...

Touya. Touya-chan. Talk to me, Touya-chan. I want you, Touya... Touya...?

They didn't leave for a while. Their persistence frustrated him each night. How convincing their voices sounded... Innocent voices that played with his mind.

Why won't you speak to me, Touya? I can make you better. You'll love me, Touya-chan. Adore me.

Fists tight, teeth clenched, Touya stopped in his tracks and spun around, shouting, "Shut up!! Leave me the fuck alone!!"

The voices echoed once and faded out. There was nothing left but the steady chirping of crickets that had tagged him since he left the shrine.

Touya began to breathe heavily. Anger rushed in and out of his face as he dropped his fists to his sides.

"Fuck you," he muttered. "Fuck you bastards."

~~~~

He returned home soon after his encounter, and was quickly greeted by his sister, who had just finished dinner.

"Oniichan, is something wrong?"

"Me?" He was caught by surprise. "N-no, I'm good."

He patted her head and watched her step into the kitchen to begin with the dishes. He wondered if she had been lonely by herself. She always seemed like such a cheerful child, but sometimes appearances were foolish. Touya remembered how Kaho had described her as mystical, and he had no doubt in his mind about it. But he truly felt sorrow for her. Sakura was a precocious girl who was able to feel pain and regret, and it bothered him to think about how loneliness affected her. Okaasan; otosan- and now it was Touya who had left her alone.

"Sakura?" he called.

She came back again when her name was heard.

Touya suddenly fell to his knees at his sister's height and threw his arms around her, crying, "I'm sorry."

Sakura's eyes flew open. "'N-niichan? Did something happen?"

"I shouldn't have gone." The guilt, the heartbreak, and the frustration vented within him to leave him sobbing.

"I forgive you." she said, smiling. "Don't cry."

It always amazed him, how much maturity and understanding she showed at such a young age. She had so much compassion for someone who had lost a mother.

But that was just the kind of person Sakura was. And she was all he had right now.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The next evening, Sakura and Touya's father returned from the University. He had completed a lengthy and stressful assignment. He spent about an hour conversing with his children over a cup of tea before heading off to bed.

Sakura seemed a lot more relieved now that his father had returned home. She had stopped mentioning Mother and was sleeping well.

Touya took her out on a walk before the sun had set. She had one hand in her brother's grip and another playing casually with her short hair. They stopped at a toy store on the way; Touya had thought that his sister might enjoy a visit there. A broad smile lit on her face as she pushed open the door. A tiny bell chimed overhead as the door shut behind them. Sakura released her brother's hand and rushed to the first shelf of toys that caught her eye. About a dozen stuffed animals were on display, their tender, oblivious smiles, carefully stitched onto their faces, welcomed them.

The store clerk greeted them with a smile and a wave, and asked them if they needed any assistance. Touya assured her that he would ask for her help when he needed it, and so she headed off in another direction.

It was a rather quaint little store, very cozy, with a cute style. It made Touya feel like a kid again. His own childish grin appeared on his face as he watched Sakura stop at another shelf. Her emerald-green eyes seemed to spark as they caught sight of a stuffed bunny. The plush toy was a faint tone of pink- very pale; its long ears protruded from its head with one dangling over its face; and it looked at her with a playful expression.

Sakura reached out to touch it. Its surface was a soft texture. She lifted the animal right off the shelf and held it close to her face. She seemed so at peace as she was now- so full of joy from a simple plush creature. Touya assumed it was child psychology- the animal was like a friend to her, like someone she could confide in.

He made no hesitation to purchase the rabbit for her. He felt it would cope with her loneliness.

When the purchase was completed, he handed it to her and said, "You know you have a brother who cares for you. But if I'm not around, then this bunny will take my place and keep you company, ok?"

"'K. Thank you, oniichan." Her hand groped his again, and she cradled the bunny in her arms. "I'll love it forever."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[1] Mother

[2] Because I am your big brother - [this comes up several times in the story, so be sure to remember that!!]

Heheh.. this chapter went on a little longer than the others, but so far it's my favourite. ^_^ It didn't really have anything to do with the story, but I thought I'd do a little event of flashbacks to reflect on Touya's past love life with Kaho, and a sort of brother-sister thingy too.