Weeks had passed, and though Henri's image hadn't faded in my mind, I didn't mope around so much. Loving him was part of me, it didn't detract from me, or encompass me; it was just there inside, you know? I had accepted my love's futility without losing it, which left me more free than ever to simply enjoy life.

As happy as I was with my lot, no one can be cheerful all the time. Even with a pretty good life, sometimes feelings of sadness, like ~~waves~~, just washed over me. Every day after dark I went to the park by my house and sat on the swings, gazing up toward the stars and letting the waves flow through. When I thought no one was around, I sang.

I sang my heart out, trying to strain up high enough to touch those distant stars, cramming my soul into the lyrics.

"Good morning Starshine" I whispered.

"The earth says Hello!

You shine above us,

We shine…. Below,"

On the last line, my voice broke under the strain of sadness I could only define as Henri. It was time to let him go, and get on with life. Next time I sit out here under a dark mysterious sky, I want to think of things that matter to me and replay enjoyable parts of the day in my head- I don't want to be sad! And I'm lucky enough to have the choice. To have the choice to move on and be carefree and HAPPY, or to selfishly hold on to a useless hope, because I'm too lazy to unclench my fists.

When I was young

I never needed anyone

And Love was just for fun

Those days are gone

Livin' alone

I think of all the friends I've known

When I dial the telephone

Nobody's home

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

Hard to be sure

Sometimes I feel so insecure

And loves so distant and obscure

Remains the cure

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

When I was young

I never needed anyone

Love was just for fun

Those days are gone

All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore

All by myself

Don't wanna live

Oh

Don't wanna live

By myself, by myself

Anymore

By myself

Anymore

Oh!

All by myself

Don't wanna live

I never, never, never

Needed anyone

But I have to let that love go. A real Love is not just love, it's a conscious choice. You can fall in love more than once, and I refuse to base myself on a guy, even for Henri. So I'm sorry, Henri, but goodbye.

And now

The end is near

So I face

The final curtain

My friend,

I'll say it clear

I'll state my case

Of which I'm certain

I've lived

A life that's full

I've traveled each

And every highway

And more,

Much more than this

I did it my way

Regrets,

I've had a few

But then again,

Too few to mention

I did

What I had to do

And saw it through

Without exeption

I planned

Each charted course

Each careful step

Along the byway

Oh, and more,

Much more than this

I did it my way

Yes,

There were times,

I'm sure you know

When I bit off more

Than I could chew

But through it all

When there was doubt

I ate it up

And spit it out

I faced it all

And I stood tall

And did it my way

I've loved,

I've laughed and cried

I've had my fails,

My share of losing

And now as tears subside

I find it all

So amusing

To think

I did all that

And may I say,

Not in a shy way

Oh, no,

No not me

I did it my way

"I did it my way" I sang, "My… Way…"

"YESSSSSSSSS, ALL RIGHT! HERE I COME WORLD!" I yelled defiantly at the night.

I didn't see the guy who had sat listening behind a tree slowly get up from his sprawled position and silently walk away.