Title: Fear
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf
Disclaimers/Rating: Same as always.
Notes: Sorry this took so long, we had some beta confusion! But the bonus cause I made you wait so long?? Two chapters tonight!! Yay!!! But you may not be yaying me at the end of chapter 17. Heh. Anyway, my hope of posting all of this before the premier, isn't going to happen, what you are reading now is a big section I added and there is just no way my beta can work that fast (as good as she is). Plus look at the chapter numbers, they changed cause I am an idiot and cant count (math.not my strong suit, science, I was all about the science). I missed 8 chapters somehow.I don't know how. Anyway, enjoy and hopefully the next chapters will be up soon!
Thanks: Of course to Meg for being a fabulous beta.
"Sara, I know you aren't there, I saw you leave. Why, Sara? I love you. I have done nothing but show you. Why can't you see we are meant for each other." Static and the click of the phone follow his words.
"You have to love me Sara, how can you not? I will convince you, I will."
One hand over her mouth and one across her stomach, Sara listens to 10 more from that day. When the date/time stamp changes, she knows that the next 14 messages are from after he broke in.
"Such lovely things you have, Sara. Nice pictures of you and friends. I am sure they are worried, but there is no need to be. I would never hurt them, Sara."
She notices that his voice now has a hard edge to it. He is becoming desperate and angry.
"Well Sara, you have been gone for almost two days. With the older man in those pictures. Who is he, Sara? That's who I have to win your heart from. Shouldn't be a problem, he is twice your age and doesn't deserve you."
"I love you, Sara. You will learn to love me too."
Gripping onto the table for support, she forwards through to the last message and is shocked. His voice terrifies her, he is getting angrier and angrier at her. Fury is evident even on the static tape.
"Well Sara, one call to the labs and I know you are on vacation with your boss. That can't be a good career move, can it? Sleeping with the boss, wonder what would happen if everyone found out? Would he leave you to keep his job? Probably, because he doesn't LOVE you the way I do SAR-A. I will treat you so much better than him, don't worry about it. Once he leaves you, you will have to love me, there won't be anyone else."
Her finger lingering over the red delete button, the investigator in her takes over and she opens the tape compartment, removing the cassette and placing it safely in her bag. Taking the bag into her bedroom, she quickly removes the dirty clothes and repacks. She can't stay here another minute. She is officially losing what little control she had and Grissom's is the only safe place she has left. The only place he hasn't infected.
Using the extra key she never returned, and he never asked for back, Sara lets herself into his townhouse. Placing her bag in the bedroom, she removes the answering machine tape and carries it with her into the living room, where she sets it down on the glass coffee table. Sitting down, Sara brings her knees up to her chest, wraps her arms around and places her chin on them, staring intently at the piece of plastic with magnetic tape in it.
She doesn't even realize the passage of time until a key in the lock gets her attention, but she doesn't move from the couch, still focused on the tape. The one thing that could destroy her and Grissom's relationship before it even has a chance to start. Turning in the tape means exposing what they have, but not handing it over means that Joey can't be brought in for violating his bail. Her brain is so muddled she can't even decide what to do.
Grissom walks in and starts to call Sara's name before he notices her sitting on his couch, very still, staring at something.
"Sara," he calls and walks over to her, concerned when she doesn't even acknowledge him. "Sara, are you ok?" he asks, again trying to get her attention. He knows something has happened, but what he doesn't know what.
Approaching her from behind, he reaches out and touches her shoulder. Instead of turning to him, however, Sara starts from his touch and pulls away.
Walking around the couch, Grissom's apprehension increases as he sees the faraway look in her eyes. Following her gaze, he notices the answering machine tape and furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"Sara," he says softly and sits next to the brunette, who doesn't even so much as turn in his direction. "Sara, what happened?"
Finally she looks at him, and he damn near moves back from the look on her face. Her expression is one of dread, but her eyes are what really frightens him. They are dead, the usual intelligence and wit he sees are gone, replaced by something dark and not Sara.
Finally focusing on him, Sara speaks. "Twenty four messages from him. Twenty three times he called me, told me he loves me and will never stop trying to convince me. One time he threatened us; he knows we went on vacation. He threatened to tell the department about us. That could destroy our careers Gris, and would you give up your job for me?"
"Yes. You mean more to me than my career. Sara, we have to turn that tape in, it will put him behind bars. The judge ordered him to have no contact with you." Sudden fear flashes in her eyes and he continues. "We will work something out, I'll talk to Brass before we do, tell him what is going on. He has to be stopped, and this is the only way."
Nodding, she slowly leans into him, taking comfort in the heat of his body and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. For the first time since waking up from her earlier nightmare, Sara feels warm. "After some sleep," she says quietly and barely hears his ok before falling into sleep again.
**Hands, grabbing at her, pulling her under. She can't breathe. She struggles to the surface of the water, gets in half a breath before being dragged back under. She can't see anyone, can only feel them touching her feet, legs, her waist, holding her under. Her lungs are screaming for air. She yells under the murky water, which accomplishes nothing but allowing water to fill her lungs. Struggling against the hands, she almost makes it up to the surface, but it's too late. Her lungs are now on fire, her head is fuzzy, and consciousness is slipping away. Sara knows what is happening; the oxygen in her cells is being used but isn't being replaced, and the carbon dioxide isn't being released. She is slowly suffocating. As the hands succeed in killing her, Sara's last thought is of Grissom.**
Waking with a start, Sara looks around and realizes she is still on the couch with Grissom. Taking several ragged breaths to confirm that she can, Sara tries to remove herself from his embrace, only to wake him in the process.
"Hey, you ok?" he asks and strokes her hair, surprised to find it damp from sweat. Opening his eyes, Grissom looks at her in the dim light and can see she is pale and breathing oddly. "Sara? Talk to me."
"Fine. Nightmare, go back to sleep."
Waking fully now, he pulls her into his chest and whispers. "You don't have to be strong for me, Sara. Please, talk to me."
"It was just a nightmare, don't worry about it."
"Sara, you know perfectly well what I am talking about. You are trying to be strong for everyone, I can see that. But you can't be strong all the time Sara, you have to let it out. Let me do that for you, please."
Quietly, she starts to talk, an almost detached tone in her voice. "It's the strangest feeling, Grissom. I can't describe it. Someone I don't know touched my things, looked through my life. It's unsettling at best. I feel off-balance, like I'm on one of those gymnastic beams and I have one leg on and one off. And I'm trying so hard to balance on that one foot, but I'm losing the battle. That feeling right when you know you are going to fall, you know what I mean? The sense that you have lost control and there is nothing you can do to stop what's happening. You just have to allow yourself to fall and hope the landing isn't too hard. I feel like I am perpetually in that state of almost falling. I can't fall, Grissom..I can't. I can't lose control like that."
"I have never lied to you, Sara. Not once, so I refuse to tell you that everything is fine and will be ok. I don't know that. But I can promise you I will do everything in my power to make this go away. Don't forget you have me, I will be here for you."
Nodding, she turns over on the couch, so they are now facing each other. Tilting her head up slightly, she kisses him lightly and positions her head in crook of his shoulder. Breathing in the scent of shampoo, soap and a little bit of the lab, Sara falls into sleep not plagued by dreams.
She wakes the next morning to an empty bed. 'Wait a minute. Bed?' she thinks and sits up quickly, realizing Grissom must have moved her into his bedroom at some point. Feeling better then last night, Sara stretches her muscles and gets up, walking into the kitchen to find Grissom on the phone with someone, Grissom mostly listening and making noises in the affirmative. Making her way to the coffee maker, she gives him a quizzical look and receives a signal for 'one minute' back to her. After pouring her coffee, Sara leans against the kitchen counter, waiting patiently for him to finish talking. As he turns to her, she notices the tape in his hands and knows what they are discussing. Looking down into the swirling brown liquid, Sara doesn't hear him hang up the phone. When he calls her name, she starts, and some of the coffee spills over the sides of the mug, burning her fingers slightly.
"Ouch." She places the mug on the counter, grabbing a towel to wipe up the mess.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, fine. Who was that?" She tosses the paper towel in the garbage.
"Brass. We need to go in early to talk to him and Mobley. Then we can process the tape and get a warrant out for Harrington. Brass is going to clear the way for us to stay together and not lose our jobs, hopefully. Joey can't have control over us if everyone knows. Are you prepared for that?" He gets a good look at her for the first time since early yesterday and is shocked by her appearance. Her skin is paler than usual and he can see charcoal circles under her eyes. The contrast gives her the appearance of a body in the morgue, and it disturbs him. Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, he knows something is wrong, missing maybe, he isn't sure.
"I don't have a choice. He made it for me. God Grissom, that makes me so angry. I want to keep us quiet for a bit longer, you know, enjoy our time without wondering what everyone thinks about me sleeping with the boss. Wow, that sounds really bad, doesn't it?" At the last sentence Sara smiles slightly. For some reason it sounds funny to her said out loud. Swiftly, however, her mood changes and anger crosses her features again. "I don't like it. He is forcing us to do this, the decision isn't really ours to make anymore."
tbc.............now!
Author: CSIphile/A-Stepf
Disclaimers/Rating: Same as always.
Notes: Sorry this took so long, we had some beta confusion! But the bonus cause I made you wait so long?? Two chapters tonight!! Yay!!! But you may not be yaying me at the end of chapter 17. Heh. Anyway, my hope of posting all of this before the premier, isn't going to happen, what you are reading now is a big section I added and there is just no way my beta can work that fast (as good as she is). Plus look at the chapter numbers, they changed cause I am an idiot and cant count (math.not my strong suit, science, I was all about the science). I missed 8 chapters somehow.I don't know how. Anyway, enjoy and hopefully the next chapters will be up soon!
Thanks: Of course to Meg for being a fabulous beta.
"Sara, I know you aren't there, I saw you leave. Why, Sara? I love you. I have done nothing but show you. Why can't you see we are meant for each other." Static and the click of the phone follow his words.
"You have to love me Sara, how can you not? I will convince you, I will."
One hand over her mouth and one across her stomach, Sara listens to 10 more from that day. When the date/time stamp changes, she knows that the next 14 messages are from after he broke in.
"Such lovely things you have, Sara. Nice pictures of you and friends. I am sure they are worried, but there is no need to be. I would never hurt them, Sara."
She notices that his voice now has a hard edge to it. He is becoming desperate and angry.
"Well Sara, you have been gone for almost two days. With the older man in those pictures. Who is he, Sara? That's who I have to win your heart from. Shouldn't be a problem, he is twice your age and doesn't deserve you."
"I love you, Sara. You will learn to love me too."
Gripping onto the table for support, she forwards through to the last message and is shocked. His voice terrifies her, he is getting angrier and angrier at her. Fury is evident even on the static tape.
"Well Sara, one call to the labs and I know you are on vacation with your boss. That can't be a good career move, can it? Sleeping with the boss, wonder what would happen if everyone found out? Would he leave you to keep his job? Probably, because he doesn't LOVE you the way I do SAR-A. I will treat you so much better than him, don't worry about it. Once he leaves you, you will have to love me, there won't be anyone else."
Her finger lingering over the red delete button, the investigator in her takes over and she opens the tape compartment, removing the cassette and placing it safely in her bag. Taking the bag into her bedroom, she quickly removes the dirty clothes and repacks. She can't stay here another minute. She is officially losing what little control she had and Grissom's is the only safe place she has left. The only place he hasn't infected.
Using the extra key she never returned, and he never asked for back, Sara lets herself into his townhouse. Placing her bag in the bedroom, she removes the answering machine tape and carries it with her into the living room, where she sets it down on the glass coffee table. Sitting down, Sara brings her knees up to her chest, wraps her arms around and places her chin on them, staring intently at the piece of plastic with magnetic tape in it.
She doesn't even realize the passage of time until a key in the lock gets her attention, but she doesn't move from the couch, still focused on the tape. The one thing that could destroy her and Grissom's relationship before it even has a chance to start. Turning in the tape means exposing what they have, but not handing it over means that Joey can't be brought in for violating his bail. Her brain is so muddled she can't even decide what to do.
Grissom walks in and starts to call Sara's name before he notices her sitting on his couch, very still, staring at something.
"Sara," he calls and walks over to her, concerned when she doesn't even acknowledge him. "Sara, are you ok?" he asks, again trying to get her attention. He knows something has happened, but what he doesn't know what.
Approaching her from behind, he reaches out and touches her shoulder. Instead of turning to him, however, Sara starts from his touch and pulls away.
Walking around the couch, Grissom's apprehension increases as he sees the faraway look in her eyes. Following her gaze, he notices the answering machine tape and furrows his eyebrows in confusion.
"Sara," he says softly and sits next to the brunette, who doesn't even so much as turn in his direction. "Sara, what happened?"
Finally she looks at him, and he damn near moves back from the look on her face. Her expression is one of dread, but her eyes are what really frightens him. They are dead, the usual intelligence and wit he sees are gone, replaced by something dark and not Sara.
Finally focusing on him, Sara speaks. "Twenty four messages from him. Twenty three times he called me, told me he loves me and will never stop trying to convince me. One time he threatened us; he knows we went on vacation. He threatened to tell the department about us. That could destroy our careers Gris, and would you give up your job for me?"
"Yes. You mean more to me than my career. Sara, we have to turn that tape in, it will put him behind bars. The judge ordered him to have no contact with you." Sudden fear flashes in her eyes and he continues. "We will work something out, I'll talk to Brass before we do, tell him what is going on. He has to be stopped, and this is the only way."
Nodding, she slowly leans into him, taking comfort in the heat of his body and his arms wrapped around her shoulders. For the first time since waking up from her earlier nightmare, Sara feels warm. "After some sleep," she says quietly and barely hears his ok before falling into sleep again.
**Hands, grabbing at her, pulling her under. She can't breathe. She struggles to the surface of the water, gets in half a breath before being dragged back under. She can't see anyone, can only feel them touching her feet, legs, her waist, holding her under. Her lungs are screaming for air. She yells under the murky water, which accomplishes nothing but allowing water to fill her lungs. Struggling against the hands, she almost makes it up to the surface, but it's too late. Her lungs are now on fire, her head is fuzzy, and consciousness is slipping away. Sara knows what is happening; the oxygen in her cells is being used but isn't being replaced, and the carbon dioxide isn't being released. She is slowly suffocating. As the hands succeed in killing her, Sara's last thought is of Grissom.**
Waking with a start, Sara looks around and realizes she is still on the couch with Grissom. Taking several ragged breaths to confirm that she can, Sara tries to remove herself from his embrace, only to wake him in the process.
"Hey, you ok?" he asks and strokes her hair, surprised to find it damp from sweat. Opening his eyes, Grissom looks at her in the dim light and can see she is pale and breathing oddly. "Sara? Talk to me."
"Fine. Nightmare, go back to sleep."
Waking fully now, he pulls her into his chest and whispers. "You don't have to be strong for me, Sara. Please, talk to me."
"It was just a nightmare, don't worry about it."
"Sara, you know perfectly well what I am talking about. You are trying to be strong for everyone, I can see that. But you can't be strong all the time Sara, you have to let it out. Let me do that for you, please."
Quietly, she starts to talk, an almost detached tone in her voice. "It's the strangest feeling, Grissom. I can't describe it. Someone I don't know touched my things, looked through my life. It's unsettling at best. I feel off-balance, like I'm on one of those gymnastic beams and I have one leg on and one off. And I'm trying so hard to balance on that one foot, but I'm losing the battle. That feeling right when you know you are going to fall, you know what I mean? The sense that you have lost control and there is nothing you can do to stop what's happening. You just have to allow yourself to fall and hope the landing isn't too hard. I feel like I am perpetually in that state of almost falling. I can't fall, Grissom..I can't. I can't lose control like that."
"I have never lied to you, Sara. Not once, so I refuse to tell you that everything is fine and will be ok. I don't know that. But I can promise you I will do everything in my power to make this go away. Don't forget you have me, I will be here for you."
Nodding, she turns over on the couch, so they are now facing each other. Tilting her head up slightly, she kisses him lightly and positions her head in crook of his shoulder. Breathing in the scent of shampoo, soap and a little bit of the lab, Sara falls into sleep not plagued by dreams.
She wakes the next morning to an empty bed. 'Wait a minute. Bed?' she thinks and sits up quickly, realizing Grissom must have moved her into his bedroom at some point. Feeling better then last night, Sara stretches her muscles and gets up, walking into the kitchen to find Grissom on the phone with someone, Grissom mostly listening and making noises in the affirmative. Making her way to the coffee maker, she gives him a quizzical look and receives a signal for 'one minute' back to her. After pouring her coffee, Sara leans against the kitchen counter, waiting patiently for him to finish talking. As he turns to her, she notices the tape in his hands and knows what they are discussing. Looking down into the swirling brown liquid, Sara doesn't hear him hang up the phone. When he calls her name, she starts, and some of the coffee spills over the sides of the mug, burning her fingers slightly.
"Ouch." She places the mug on the counter, grabbing a towel to wipe up the mess.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, fine. Who was that?" She tosses the paper towel in the garbage.
"Brass. We need to go in early to talk to him and Mobley. Then we can process the tape and get a warrant out for Harrington. Brass is going to clear the way for us to stay together and not lose our jobs, hopefully. Joey can't have control over us if everyone knows. Are you prepared for that?" He gets a good look at her for the first time since early yesterday and is shocked by her appearance. Her skin is paler than usual and he can see charcoal circles under her eyes. The contrast gives her the appearance of a body in the morgue, and it disturbs him. Looking into her beautiful brown eyes, he knows something is wrong, missing maybe, he isn't sure.
"I don't have a choice. He made it for me. God Grissom, that makes me so angry. I want to keep us quiet for a bit longer, you know, enjoy our time without wondering what everyone thinks about me sleeping with the boss. Wow, that sounds really bad, doesn't it?" At the last sentence Sara smiles slightly. For some reason it sounds funny to her said out loud. Swiftly, however, her mood changes and anger crosses her features again. "I don't like it. He is forcing us to do this, the decision isn't really ours to make anymore."
tbc.............now!