Title: Fear
Author: CSIphile/Stepf
Disclaimers/Ratings: K, its been a while, here goes. I do not own the characters from CSI, and all the ones that aren't CSI are mine.all mine! Even stalker Joey, though his name is borrowed and I am sure the real Joey isn't crazy like mine. PG-13
Thanks: To the readers, thank you for sticking it our during my long absence, I've received quite a few inquiries as to this masterpiece's (ha!) whereabouts and I really, really, to the bottom of my heart appreciate it. I cannot say that enough. You guys ROCK. To my beta's.Meg and Adina. Who made their own contributions to this fic, only to make it that much better.
Notes: Yes, I have returned. The entire fic is written, completed, it's being betaed as we speak.
As she is rolled into Nick's room, Sara sucks in a breath at his condition and regrets the action when pain momentarily courses through her chest. While he looks better now then when he was down the in the ER, the damage that was done is still a shock to Sara. The nurse pushes her next to Nick's bedside and watches as the young brunette hesitantly touches the man's arm. Since waking up that afternoon, Sara has been quiet and almost withdrawn.
Sara is almost surprised by the warmth in Nick's arm; she is half expecting him to be cold. Biting her lower lip, she holds Nicks hand loosely in hers, listening to the noises in the room. The reassuring noises of the ventilator and heart monitor tell her he is still with them, still alive and breathing. Smoothing a piece of hair back into place, Sara talks quietly to him, her tone starting light.
"Hey, Nicky. You gave me quite a scare down there. Don't do that again, ok? I don't think I could take it if anything happened to you because of me. You didn't deserve this Nick; it's my fault, all my fault. If I had just told him to leave me alone from the beginning instead of trying to be nice, maybe he would have gone away. Maybe I should have just shot him in the parking lot; at least he would be dead."
Sara laughs lightly and touches his face before getting serious again. "God, Nick. Your parents could be planning your funeral, and all because some asshole decides he loves me. How ridiculous is that? How do you decide that you love someone you don't even know? Chaos theory Nicky, it should have been Grissom in the car with me. I wish that it was only me, and then none of you would have been hurt." Sara knows she is rambling, but it's easy to ramble to someone who can't hear you or respond.
Considering what she said to him, Sara realizes that it had come dangerously close to being Grissom in that truck with her. The thought makes her sick to her stomach; she has no doubt that if it had been Grissom, he would be dead, and she would be alone because of Joey. Anger swiftly courses through her. Enough is enough, Sara isn't letting this happen to someone else she loves; she is going to take care of Harrington herself if she has to. She can't believe she let the situation get this out of control; it is one thing for Harrington to control her life, its something entirely different when it affects her friends. Sara's anger and rage increases with every breath the respirator takes for Nick.
Thoughts of a life without Grissom or Nick swirl in her head. Gone, Grissom could be gone: the one person she could count on for the past 6 years, and the only man she has ever truly loved. Nick: her friend, the first real friend she had here.
Adding grief to her anger, puts Sara in an emotional state she can't even define. Leaning into Nick, she whispers quietly. "I'll kill him for this Nick. I'll do it without thinking twice. I'm taking control of the situation back, and he will regret this." Talking to him, Sara realizes what she is feeling: rage.
Grissom looks at his watch as the elevator slowly approaches the third floor. He hadn't meant to be gone this long, but the discussion with Catherine and Brass took longer than he expected, then Mobley had cornered him on the way out, wanting an update on Sara and Nick. For one moment Grissom honestly thought Mobley cared about his colleagues, until the conversation quickly turned to the amount of time Grissom was spending at the hospital, particularly with Sara. At that point Grissom quickly terminated the conversation and made his way here; here being stuck on an elevator that seems to be taking an eternity to get to his destination.
Grissom enters the room and sees Sara leaning into Nick, talking to him so softly he cant hear the words. Watching her, he is struck by her body language; she seems tense, almost angry to him.
"Sara?" he says, and waits for a response, when one is not forthcoming he tries again. "Sara? Hey Sar?" The name came out of his mouth without Grissom even realizing what he called her. He is surprised, however, by her sudden reaction. Sara turns in the wheelchair to face him, her face covered in anger.
"**What** did you just call me?" Her tone is angry, but Sara doesn't seem to care anymore.
"What? I called you Sara." Grissom almost takes a step back; this is not the woman he remembers leaving in her bed hours before.
"No. You called me Sar. Only he calls me Sar." She stands and indicates the man lying prone in the bed behind her. "Don't EVER call me that again. No one calls me that except Nick."
This time he does take a step back. He has never seen Sara this angry before, at least not directed at him. Something has happened, he doesn't know what.
"Sara, I'm sorry. What happened?" He approaches her and is stunned when she backs away from him. "Sara?"
"Leave me alone Grissom, don't come near me. I don't want to see you anymore. Please leave." Her face is completely neutral, he can't figure out what is going on in her head.
"Sara. I will not leave you alone. I am here for you and Nick. Don't do this, don't push me away." Again he tries to touch her and she pulls back from him. Her actions almost bring Grissom to tears.
"Leave me alone Grissom. Accept the fact I don't want you here, I don't want you anywhere near me. It's dangerous," she hisses through clenched teeth.
'It's dangerous'. Her words run through his head and he finally understands her behavior. "Sara, I'm not worried about the danger of being near you. I want to protect you."
"You can't protect me Grissom. Nick tried and he ended up here; I refuse to see the same thing happen to you. Just leave, we're through Grissom, done. I don't want to see you anywhere but work. Am I understood?"
As she speaks, Grissom feels a stabbing in his heart. He desperately searches her eyes for any indication she is only doing this for show, but sees nothing but anger and defeat. "Sara, I refuse.."
"God damn it Grissom! No 'I refuse', no 'I promise', nothing. The next words I want to hear out of your mouth are 'I'm leaving!'" She is practically screaming at him and her body language is stiff, tense, unyielding.
"Sara, calm down and listen to me." He waits for her to relax a bit before continuing. "I will not leave because you need me, whether or not you admit it. I know you like to be strong, in control and together, but no one expects you to deal with this alone. I'm not worried about my safety. He isn't threatening me; it's you he is after. Nick was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time; it could have been Catherine or Warrick or me."
"That's my point Grissom. He doesn't care about you or Cath or War. You're collateral damage to him; I don't want to place any of you on his radar. He wants me Grissom, and I refuse to let anyone else get hurt in his quest." Her demeanor has changed significantly, her body language is still tense and wound up, but her voice and facial expressions have softened considerably.
Grissom looks at Nick but talks to Sara. "Let's get you back to your room. Nick needs rest, and I don't think he would want to wake up to this."
She nods at him quietly and sits back in the wheelchair, allowing Grissom to push her back into her own room. He just watches as she painfully slides back into bed, thankful yet again that neither one of them died. For a few moments they just stare at each other, Grissom sitting in the chair next to her bed, unsure what to say now.
"I'm sorry for what I said. It was cruel and unnecessary. I'm just, I don't know confused, scared, and angry. God, I've never been this angry before."
"It's all understandable Sara. Your entire life has been twisted into something you can't even recognize anymore." He reaches over and grabs her hand, squeezing lightly.
She smiles at him. "Thank you for not listening to me and leaving. What would I do without you?"
"Eat Chinese food three meals a day, sleep 4 hours every two days and never leave the office." He tries to lighten the mood and is rewarded with a grin.
"Yeah. There's always that."
You guys rock.thank you again!
Author: CSIphile/Stepf
Disclaimers/Ratings: K, its been a while, here goes. I do not own the characters from CSI, and all the ones that aren't CSI are mine.all mine! Even stalker Joey, though his name is borrowed and I am sure the real Joey isn't crazy like mine. PG-13
Thanks: To the readers, thank you for sticking it our during my long absence, I've received quite a few inquiries as to this masterpiece's (ha!) whereabouts and I really, really, to the bottom of my heart appreciate it. I cannot say that enough. You guys ROCK. To my beta's.Meg and Adina. Who made their own contributions to this fic, only to make it that much better.
Notes: Yes, I have returned. The entire fic is written, completed, it's being betaed as we speak.
As she is rolled into Nick's room, Sara sucks in a breath at his condition and regrets the action when pain momentarily courses through her chest. While he looks better now then when he was down the in the ER, the damage that was done is still a shock to Sara. The nurse pushes her next to Nick's bedside and watches as the young brunette hesitantly touches the man's arm. Since waking up that afternoon, Sara has been quiet and almost withdrawn.
Sara is almost surprised by the warmth in Nick's arm; she is half expecting him to be cold. Biting her lower lip, she holds Nicks hand loosely in hers, listening to the noises in the room. The reassuring noises of the ventilator and heart monitor tell her he is still with them, still alive and breathing. Smoothing a piece of hair back into place, Sara talks quietly to him, her tone starting light.
"Hey, Nicky. You gave me quite a scare down there. Don't do that again, ok? I don't think I could take it if anything happened to you because of me. You didn't deserve this Nick; it's my fault, all my fault. If I had just told him to leave me alone from the beginning instead of trying to be nice, maybe he would have gone away. Maybe I should have just shot him in the parking lot; at least he would be dead."
Sara laughs lightly and touches his face before getting serious again. "God, Nick. Your parents could be planning your funeral, and all because some asshole decides he loves me. How ridiculous is that? How do you decide that you love someone you don't even know? Chaos theory Nicky, it should have been Grissom in the car with me. I wish that it was only me, and then none of you would have been hurt." Sara knows she is rambling, but it's easy to ramble to someone who can't hear you or respond.
Considering what she said to him, Sara realizes that it had come dangerously close to being Grissom in that truck with her. The thought makes her sick to her stomach; she has no doubt that if it had been Grissom, he would be dead, and she would be alone because of Joey. Anger swiftly courses through her. Enough is enough, Sara isn't letting this happen to someone else she loves; she is going to take care of Harrington herself if she has to. She can't believe she let the situation get this out of control; it is one thing for Harrington to control her life, its something entirely different when it affects her friends. Sara's anger and rage increases with every breath the respirator takes for Nick.
Thoughts of a life without Grissom or Nick swirl in her head. Gone, Grissom could be gone: the one person she could count on for the past 6 years, and the only man she has ever truly loved. Nick: her friend, the first real friend she had here.
Adding grief to her anger, puts Sara in an emotional state she can't even define. Leaning into Nick, she whispers quietly. "I'll kill him for this Nick. I'll do it without thinking twice. I'm taking control of the situation back, and he will regret this." Talking to him, Sara realizes what she is feeling: rage.
Grissom looks at his watch as the elevator slowly approaches the third floor. He hadn't meant to be gone this long, but the discussion with Catherine and Brass took longer than he expected, then Mobley had cornered him on the way out, wanting an update on Sara and Nick. For one moment Grissom honestly thought Mobley cared about his colleagues, until the conversation quickly turned to the amount of time Grissom was spending at the hospital, particularly with Sara. At that point Grissom quickly terminated the conversation and made his way here; here being stuck on an elevator that seems to be taking an eternity to get to his destination.
Grissom enters the room and sees Sara leaning into Nick, talking to him so softly he cant hear the words. Watching her, he is struck by her body language; she seems tense, almost angry to him.
"Sara?" he says, and waits for a response, when one is not forthcoming he tries again. "Sara? Hey Sar?" The name came out of his mouth without Grissom even realizing what he called her. He is surprised, however, by her sudden reaction. Sara turns in the wheelchair to face him, her face covered in anger.
"**What** did you just call me?" Her tone is angry, but Sara doesn't seem to care anymore.
"What? I called you Sara." Grissom almost takes a step back; this is not the woman he remembers leaving in her bed hours before.
"No. You called me Sar. Only he calls me Sar." She stands and indicates the man lying prone in the bed behind her. "Don't EVER call me that again. No one calls me that except Nick."
This time he does take a step back. He has never seen Sara this angry before, at least not directed at him. Something has happened, he doesn't know what.
"Sara, I'm sorry. What happened?" He approaches her and is stunned when she backs away from him. "Sara?"
"Leave me alone Grissom, don't come near me. I don't want to see you anymore. Please leave." Her face is completely neutral, he can't figure out what is going on in her head.
"Sara. I will not leave you alone. I am here for you and Nick. Don't do this, don't push me away." Again he tries to touch her and she pulls back from him. Her actions almost bring Grissom to tears.
"Leave me alone Grissom. Accept the fact I don't want you here, I don't want you anywhere near me. It's dangerous," she hisses through clenched teeth.
'It's dangerous'. Her words run through his head and he finally understands her behavior. "Sara, I'm not worried about the danger of being near you. I want to protect you."
"You can't protect me Grissom. Nick tried and he ended up here; I refuse to see the same thing happen to you. Just leave, we're through Grissom, done. I don't want to see you anywhere but work. Am I understood?"
As she speaks, Grissom feels a stabbing in his heart. He desperately searches her eyes for any indication she is only doing this for show, but sees nothing but anger and defeat. "Sara, I refuse.."
"God damn it Grissom! No 'I refuse', no 'I promise', nothing. The next words I want to hear out of your mouth are 'I'm leaving!'" She is practically screaming at him and her body language is stiff, tense, unyielding.
"Sara, calm down and listen to me." He waits for her to relax a bit before continuing. "I will not leave because you need me, whether or not you admit it. I know you like to be strong, in control and together, but no one expects you to deal with this alone. I'm not worried about my safety. He isn't threatening me; it's you he is after. Nick was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time; it could have been Catherine or Warrick or me."
"That's my point Grissom. He doesn't care about you or Cath or War. You're collateral damage to him; I don't want to place any of you on his radar. He wants me Grissom, and I refuse to let anyone else get hurt in his quest." Her demeanor has changed significantly, her body language is still tense and wound up, but her voice and facial expressions have softened considerably.
Grissom looks at Nick but talks to Sara. "Let's get you back to your room. Nick needs rest, and I don't think he would want to wake up to this."
She nods at him quietly and sits back in the wheelchair, allowing Grissom to push her back into her own room. He just watches as she painfully slides back into bed, thankful yet again that neither one of them died. For a few moments they just stare at each other, Grissom sitting in the chair next to her bed, unsure what to say now.
"I'm sorry for what I said. It was cruel and unnecessary. I'm just, I don't know confused, scared, and angry. God, I've never been this angry before."
"It's all understandable Sara. Your entire life has been twisted into something you can't even recognize anymore." He reaches over and grabs her hand, squeezing lightly.
She smiles at him. "Thank you for not listening to me and leaving. What would I do without you?"
"Eat Chinese food three meals a day, sleep 4 hours every two days and never leave the office." He tries to lighten the mood and is rewarded with a grin.
"Yeah. There's always that."
You guys rock.thank you again!