TITLE × Road Trip, Cheese, and Breathing on the Glass
RATING × R for language
GENRE × Humor
SUMMARY × For some reason, Yugi and friends are traveling to California (don't ask how so in only an SUV). Hilarity (or lack thereof) ensues.
WARNINGS × Shounen ai, stupidity, a hint of random, very OOC-ness, it could be AU, and everyone-bashing. Yay.
AUTHOR'S NOTE ×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
A/N: WOW!!! I ACTUALLY WROTE FOUR CHAPTERS!!! And here's a lame excuse for the loooooooooooong hiatus (besides school, that is)... I couldn't find my files!!! And then I figured out, see them on FFN!!! And I did, and I read them, and I was like, WOW I WROTE THOSE?! And then I finally figured out, that my files weren't on my CD as I thought they were, they were on my computer all along! In my long-forgotten homework folder! BWAH!!! I am such a dork...
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
DISCLAIMER × I own... YOU!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ...Okay, maybe I don't :( But may I?
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
"Why me?" Ryou thought aloud.
"'Cus I can't do it, and so don't Kitty!" replied Mokuba. Tristan purred from his position on his lap as Mokuba played fondly with his ear.
The boy was sitting on Yugi, none too gently, who was piled up on Téa, Yami Bakura, Joey, and Seto (in that order) who were all pulled along by Ryou on a rusty, paint-flecked wagon they had found in a nursery the floor before. Ryou rolled his eyes at Mokuba's retort and continued pulling.
Many doors were passed, and many turns turned. The few paintings on the wall depicted dismal scenes of crematoria and their contents, or an otherwise happy painting turned wrong. Ryou noted one portrait of a lovely young lady, smiling, hands crossed on lap, as 'cute--oh wait, what's that on her nose?! LIKE, EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
"What, Ryou?" Mokuba wondered, as Ryou had said his thoughts out loud, the stupid freak.
"NOTHING!!!"
And this went on until they reached a happy little room, bare of anything, not even dusts, for this was the happy little room in which I will probably end the sad little excuse of a 'haunted house' arc. YAY!!!
And Ryou said,
"Let's stop here, and take a rest."
And Mokuba said,
"Okay."
The End.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!" yelled Seto, pushing out between the 'T' and 'h'. "This CAN'T end! We haven't found Tristan or Yami!"
Sigh. Okay.
And then, from the floor, floated YAMI!!!
"MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH!!!" Yami laughed stupidly like the stupid stupid he is. Everyone woke up at the blatant stupid-ness.
"Yami! It's you, bastard!" cried Yugi.
"Huh? What do you mean...? What's wrong with Yami?" asked Téa.
"He's the butt of this whole fic, that's why! Oh, AND he's the reason we'res stuck in this hellhole!"
"Call it whatever you wish," Yami glared at his aibou before continueing. "It's not my fault actually, it's all HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And he pointed at...
Kitty!
"Mew...?"
Joey laughed. "Wadd'ya mean, it's Kitty's fault?! I mean, he's just Kitty!"
"It's not Kitty--it's Tristan."
"WHAAA-AAA-AAAT?!"
Yami took a butcher-knife out of his jacket and picked up Tristan.
"Whatcha gon' do-HEY!!!"
SLICE!!!
A kitten's arm fell to the floor and Tristan turned back into... well, Tristan. A naked Tristan... with his clothes lying at his feet. Because Yami's evil... and because I wanted to picture it.
"Gahh!" Tristan hurried to pick up his trenchcoat and cover himself, but he wasn't fast enough for me-um, them. Then he noticed his armless state. "Heey... Yami, d'you know how much that hurt?! Geez."
"Why aren't you feeling any pain?!" Yami cried. "Oh... yeah..." He took a remote control out of his jacket and pressed the button on it.
"What's tha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGHHH!!!" Tristan fell to the floor, moaning in pain and clutching the bleeding stump on his shoulder.
Joey fell to his best friend's side. "Tristan! Are you okay?!" he cried worriedly as the world's smallest violin played.
"My ankle's turned, I just came back from being a kitten, I'm naked, my arm's been chopped off... AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY STINKY CHEESE IS!!! Of course I'm okay..." Tristan joked, sweat beading on his forehead. He groaned, spasmed, and clutched his coat harder. "Everything's going dark..."
"Don't wo'y, ol' buddy... I'm hay'r by yo' sahde..."
And the rest of them was... just there. Singing Copacobana. And... umm... drinking screwdrivers. Pullman screwdrivers. And then they regained their senses because Cathe suddenly realised their existence.
"How could you, Yami! AND I was gonna offer you myself!" Téa cried, moved.
Yami stuttered, "Wha-what?" Then he zoned out for a while.
After a veeery awkward silence...
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?! I meant in sacrifice to let these people go!" she yelled in his face.
"...Oh. I knew that, really!"
Téa glared at him, but she wasn't really glaring, she was mentally undressing him! YEAH!!!
Yami said, "I will now destroy you all..." and he giggled madly.
Ryou stepped stonily toward him. "How... how could you terrorise us as a form of entertainment..."
Seto followed. "Our feelings are not ones to be trifled with..."
"WE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!" Yami Bakura jumped towards the porcupine-headed spirit, who teleported above him.
Squish went Bakura. That's how gravity works.
"Bakura!" yelled Ryou, as a dark hole swallowed him up. "Where did you put him, you monster?!"
"It's called a laundry chute, Ryou. They chute laundry."
"Bakura is not laundry! Well, sometimes he has the intelligence quotient of a load, but he's not laundry!!!"
Yami shrugged as Ryou began desperately tapped the floor looking for the "chute". Now, which ones of you shall I torture next?
"Eep!" Téa and Mokuba hid behind Seto.
"Eenie meenie minie mo! Catch a Kuriboh by the toe! When it squeaks, don't let it go, eenie meeni minie mo! Ahah! Seto!"
No duh, Yami. He was the only one you were pointing at.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" shrieked Seto. "Wait... what ARE you going to do to me?"
"Let me think. Oh, I know! Steal your estate and all your greens and make you my sex slave!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Seto hid behind Téa.
"Or YOU can be my sex slave..." Yami eyed Téa, who walked up to him and slapped him.
"Pervert! So this whole thing is just to get back at Tristan and to make us sex slaves?! OLD GEEZER!!!" Slap, slap.
"Ow!" Yami held his reddened face. "You idiot, what was that for!!!" He stomped over to Téa when suddenly, a shadow fell over him.
"YAMI. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS."
"Yes!" cried Téa. "Yugi has transformed into Yami, but not just ANY Yami, he's CANTONESE FIRST SERIES YAMI YUGI, YAO HEI WONG!!! EXCEPT SPEAKING ENGLISH BECAUSE CATHE CAN'T SPEAK CANTONESE, JUST UNDERSTAND IT!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!!" And she put on a cheerleading suit and began cheerleading.
Yao Hei Wong stood ominously behind Yami Yugi. "It's time to play a game."
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Téa: ...what's with Yao Hei Wong...?
Cathe: He's the coolest! HE IS SUPERIOR TO ALL YAMI YUGIS!!! NO MATTER WHAT LANGUAGE!!!
Téa: T_T;
Joey: WOOF WOOF! REVIEW AN' STUFF!
RATING × R for language
GENRE × Humor
SUMMARY × For some reason, Yugi and friends are traveling to California (don't ask how so in only an SUV). Hilarity (or lack thereof) ensues.
WARNINGS × Shounen ai, stupidity, a hint of random, very OOC-ness, it could be AU, and everyone-bashing. Yay.
AUTHOR'S NOTE ×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
A/N: WOW!!! I ACTUALLY WROTE FOUR CHAPTERS!!! And here's a lame excuse for the loooooooooooong hiatus (besides school, that is)... I couldn't find my files!!! And then I figured out, see them on FFN!!! And I did, and I read them, and I was like, WOW I WROTE THOSE?! And then I finally figured out, that my files weren't on my CD as I thought they were, they were on my computer all along! In my long-forgotten homework folder! BWAH!!! I am such a dork...
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
DISCLAIMER × I own... YOU!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! ...Okay, maybe I don't :( But may I?
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
"Why me?" Ryou thought aloud.
"'Cus I can't do it, and so don't Kitty!" replied Mokuba. Tristan purred from his position on his lap as Mokuba played fondly with his ear.
The boy was sitting on Yugi, none too gently, who was piled up on Téa, Yami Bakura, Joey, and Seto (in that order) who were all pulled along by Ryou on a rusty, paint-flecked wagon they had found in a nursery the floor before. Ryou rolled his eyes at Mokuba's retort and continued pulling.
Many doors were passed, and many turns turned. The few paintings on the wall depicted dismal scenes of crematoria and their contents, or an otherwise happy painting turned wrong. Ryou noted one portrait of a lovely young lady, smiling, hands crossed on lap, as 'cute--oh wait, what's that on her nose?! LIKE, EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
"What, Ryou?" Mokuba wondered, as Ryou had said his thoughts out loud, the stupid freak.
"NOTHING!!!"
And this went on until they reached a happy little room, bare of anything, not even dusts, for this was the happy little room in which I will probably end the sad little excuse of a 'haunted house' arc. YAY!!!
And Ryou said,
"Let's stop here, and take a rest."
And Mokuba said,
"Okay."
The End.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!" yelled Seto, pushing out between the 'T' and 'h'. "This CAN'T end! We haven't found Tristan or Yami!"
Sigh. Okay.
And then, from the floor, floated YAMI!!!
"MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAH!!!" Yami laughed stupidly like the stupid stupid he is. Everyone woke up at the blatant stupid-ness.
"Yami! It's you, bastard!" cried Yugi.
"Huh? What do you mean...? What's wrong with Yami?" asked Téa.
"He's the butt of this whole fic, that's why! Oh, AND he's the reason we'res stuck in this hellhole!"
"Call it whatever you wish," Yami glared at his aibou before continueing. "It's not my fault actually, it's all HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And he pointed at...
Kitty!
"Mew...?"
Joey laughed. "Wadd'ya mean, it's Kitty's fault?! I mean, he's just Kitty!"
"It's not Kitty--it's Tristan."
"WHAAA-AAA-AAAT?!"
Yami took a butcher-knife out of his jacket and picked up Tristan.
"Whatcha gon' do-HEY!!!"
SLICE!!!
A kitten's arm fell to the floor and Tristan turned back into... well, Tristan. A naked Tristan... with his clothes lying at his feet. Because Yami's evil... and because I wanted to picture it.
"Gahh!" Tristan hurried to pick up his trenchcoat and cover himself, but he wasn't fast enough for me-um, them. Then he noticed his armless state. "Heey... Yami, d'you know how much that hurt?! Geez."
"Why aren't you feeling any pain?!" Yami cried. "Oh... yeah..." He took a remote control out of his jacket and pressed the button on it.
"What's tha-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGHHH!!!" Tristan fell to the floor, moaning in pain and clutching the bleeding stump on his shoulder.
Joey fell to his best friend's side. "Tristan! Are you okay?!" he cried worriedly as the world's smallest violin played.
"My ankle's turned, I just came back from being a kitten, I'm naked, my arm's been chopped off... AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY STINKY CHEESE IS!!! Of course I'm okay..." Tristan joked, sweat beading on his forehead. He groaned, spasmed, and clutched his coat harder. "Everything's going dark..."
"Don't wo'y, ol' buddy... I'm hay'r by yo' sahde..."
And the rest of them was... just there. Singing Copacobana. And... umm... drinking screwdrivers. Pullman screwdrivers. And then they regained their senses because Cathe suddenly realised their existence.
"How could you, Yami! AND I was gonna offer you myself!" Téa cried, moved.
Yami stuttered, "Wha-what?" Then he zoned out for a while.
After a veeery awkward silence...
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?! I meant in sacrifice to let these people go!" she yelled in his face.
"...Oh. I knew that, really!"
Téa glared at him, but she wasn't really glaring, she was mentally undressing him! YEAH!!!
Yami said, "I will now destroy you all..." and he giggled madly.
Ryou stepped stonily toward him. "How... how could you terrorise us as a form of entertainment..."
Seto followed. "Our feelings are not ones to be trifled with..."
"WE WILL DESTROY YOU!!!" Yami Bakura jumped towards the porcupine-headed spirit, who teleported above him.
Squish went Bakura. That's how gravity works.
"Bakura!" yelled Ryou, as a dark hole swallowed him up. "Where did you put him, you monster?!"
"It's called a laundry chute, Ryou. They chute laundry."
"Bakura is not laundry! Well, sometimes he has the intelligence quotient of a load, but he's not laundry!!!"
Yami shrugged as Ryou began desperately tapped the floor looking for the "chute". Now, which ones of you shall I torture next?
"Eep!" Téa and Mokuba hid behind Seto.
"Eenie meenie minie mo! Catch a Kuriboh by the toe! When it squeaks, don't let it go, eenie meeni minie mo! Ahah! Seto!"
No duh, Yami. He was the only one you were pointing at.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" shrieked Seto. "Wait... what ARE you going to do to me?"
"Let me think. Oh, I know! Steal your estate and all your greens and make you my sex slave!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Seto hid behind Téa.
"Or YOU can be my sex slave..." Yami eyed Téa, who walked up to him and slapped him.
"Pervert! So this whole thing is just to get back at Tristan and to make us sex slaves?! OLD GEEZER!!!" Slap, slap.
"Ow!" Yami held his reddened face. "You idiot, what was that for!!!" He stomped over to Téa when suddenly, a shadow fell over him.
"YAMI. YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS."
"Yes!" cried Téa. "Yugi has transformed into Yami, but not just ANY Yami, he's CANTONESE FIRST SERIES YAMI YUGI, YAO HEI WONG!!! EXCEPT SPEAKING ENGLISH BECAUSE CATHE CAN'T SPEAK CANTONESE, JUST UNDERSTAND IT!!! YAAAAAAAAY!!!" And she put on a cheerleading suit and began cheerleading.
Yao Hei Wong stood ominously behind Yami Yugi. "It's time to play a game."
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Téa: ...what's with Yao Hei Wong...?
Cathe: He's the coolest! HE IS SUPERIOR TO ALL YAMI YUGIS!!! NO MATTER WHAT LANGUAGE!!!
Téa: T_T;
Joey: WOOF WOOF! REVIEW AN' STUFF!