Part 12

She was a streak of red, sobbing hysterically, running down the empty streets of Sunnydale like a train out of control. She ran hard and fast, unseeing and uncaring. For all she knew she was the only person left in the world. Nothing mattered anymore.

It took him almost three blocks to catch up with her.

Once he got close enough to see her, he took to calling out her name, but to no avail. She either didn't hear him or chose not to respond. He picked up the pace, straining slightly but determined to catch her.

Finally, just as she turned down the corner of her own street, he managed to snag one of her suspenders and drag her to a halt. Barely stopping to even catch her breath, she jumped right into his arms like a lost kitten, wrapping her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck and whimpering softly. Two weeks ago, this type of behavior would have made him uncomfortable. Heck, two hours ago it would have made him uncomfortable. Not now. No, now all had changed. He had grown used to this, used to her.

And so, he stood there, stroking her hair and offering silent support until she was finally able to speak. Briefly, he considered carrying her home, but before he could, she slowly lowered her legs and slid to the ground on her own accord, still leaning weakly against him.

"They hate me, all of them. Not that I blame them," she whispered dully.

"No, they don't hate you, Willow. They hate me. They're just surprised and confused right now, that's all. They'll get over it. No one could ever hate you."

"I've never seen Giles so mad," her voice sounded strained as she started walking towards her house. He followed closely behind, just in case.

"You saved my life. Again," he gently reminded her, "It was very brave of you."

"I kicked Xander in the head. Oh My GOD. I kicked my best friend in the head."

He soon grew to realize that she really wasn't paying attention to what he was saying.
Knowing her extremely sensitive nature, the events of this night must have been an almost unbearable blow for her. Her friendships, though few, meant the world to her. And tonight, her world had shattered.

They slowly walked up the steps to her house, "And Cordelia..I think I knocked Xander into her..I hope she didn't get hurt too. I saw her standing up, so I-I don't think she broke anything," her voice cracked slightly as she blindly unlocked the door, her eyes filling with tears again.

"Willow," he placed a firm hand on her shoulder, "They'll snap out of it. I promise you.
Xander wasn't badly hurt and I saw Cordelia. She was a bit shaken up, but that was it. I can guarantee you that Giles feels guilty about everything already."

She stepped into the house before turning to face him, "He kicked me out of the library, Angel. I never thought that he'd ever kick me out of there." The library had always been a haven for Willow. A private, safe place she could always run to whenever she was in trouble or in need of advice. Being exiled from there was like simply throwing her out undefended into the middle of the Hellmouth.

"I know he did, Willow, but I'm sure he regrets it. He was just mad at me and you were in the way," pausing, Angel recalled the way she'd stood directly in front of him, unmoving, her slight frame creating an impenetrable shield between himself and death.

"W-what you did back there," she stared at him, unwaveringly, her green eyes still filled with tears, "It was very brave, Willow, but it was also foolish. I never want you to put yourself in harms way because of me, do you understand that?" He hadn't meant for his words to come out sounding so harsh, but he was truly scared that she'd get herself into trouble because of him some day.

"I can't make that promise, Angel. You know that," she gave him a tiny, sad smile,
"It's just the price of friendship, I guess. You're stuck with me."

He closed his eyes and she could almost sense him blocking her out emotionally. By the time he looked back at her again, his features were completely neutral, "Get some sleep, Willow. By tomorrow morning, everything will be fine."

She nodded wordlessly and searched his eyes carefully for something, anything which would indicate his thoughts and feelings.

"Goodnight, Willow."

There it was.

A faint *something* she picked up on which told her that she'd never see him again.

She knew he'd never kill himself as he'd tried to do that night she'd changed him back, but what he could and would do is leave Sunnydale. He could very easily disappear into the night without a trace and never come back if he felt it was the 'right' thing to do.

He turned and started walking away, heading towards the steps of the porch without turning back.

And suddenly in one brief, blinding moment, everything made sense. The world and all the universe be damned, if there was one thing Willow Rosenberg had ever been sure of in her life, this was it.

She wasn't going to let him.

"Angel," she said.

He heard the fire in her voice long before he saw it in her eyes.

She reached out and caught ahold of his hand. Reluctantly, he turned back to face her.

In an almost symbolic gesture, she held up his hand, entwining her fingers in his and brought it to the threshold, "Angel," she repeated, this time more softly.

He felt a lump growing in his throat.

Staring at him, almost directly into him, with her thoughtful green eyes, she spoke the words which broke his heart and restructured his life all over again, "Angel…please…come in."

And with that, the floodgates, quite literally, broke.

The invisible shield which had been both physically and emotionally separating them vanished in a flash and for what would be the second time in two weeks, Willow Rosenberg would be there to witness what used to be a very rare event.

Angel crying.

Stepping into the house, with one swift motion he lifted her up high and crushed her to him, hugging her fiercely. She shared in his tears.

"You're always welcome here, Angel. Always and forever, no matter what," she murmured into his neck.

He just held onto her for what seemed like an eternity in itself.

After several moments, Willow started fidgeting, "Angel? As much as I like you, I can't breathe."

Pulling away, he grinned at her. They were almost nose to nose and he watched as she blushed slightly, "Sorry," he whispered and lowered her to the floor.

There was an embarrassed pause as he wiped the tears from his own eyes before reaching out to do the same for her.

"Why don't you, ahhh, stay for a few hours?" she asked, sniffling hopefully up at him, "I don't think I'll be sleeping any time soon and I'd really appreciate the company."

Angel just smiled, "I think I'd like that. A lot." She was right. This was the price of friendship, and it was one he was more than willing to pay. He was, for all practical purposes, stuck with her.

And he couldn't have been happier about it.

***********************

Part 13

The library was dead silent for several minutes after Willow and Angel's exit.

The silence was finally broken by the soft sobbing of Buffy as she placed her hand on Giles arm.

The sound broke the Watcher out of his trance and suddenly the memories and events of the last few minutes came rushing back. With an immense sense of regret, he recalled what he'd last said to the recently departed teenager. Did I really just kick her out of here? Was I honestly that cruel? Dropping the crossbow limply to the floor, he knew that he'd have to call her up immediately, go over to her house if need be, in order to make amends. First things first, though, he'd have to deal with the current damage, both physical and emotional in the library itself.

Turning, he cradled the Slayer as she wept brokenly and buried her face in his shirt.
He looked past her to Cordelia and Xander. The dark haired girl had slowly started picking up some of the scattered books and papers which had fallen to the floor when Willow had leapt across the table. Xander was just staring at an invisible spot on the floor, a slightly stunned look on his face while his hand covered half his jaw. It was already turning a nasty bluish color.

"Xander, are you alright?" Giles asked hoarsely.

"She kicked me," he answered in a mechanical voice, mumbling slightly so he didn't move his mouth too much.

"Is anything broken? Shall I take you to a hospital?"

"She kicked me," he repeated.

Gently extracting himself from Buffy's embrace, he moved to the boy and started examining the injury.

"It doesn't look too bad, but I still think we should get it X-rayed."

"Was it really him?" Buffy whispered softly, "Is he really back?"

"So it appears," Giles replied, careful this time to keep his personal emotions out of things.

Cordelia walked over to stand next to them, having finished picking up most of the mess.

"Come on, Xander, let's get you to the hospital," Giles gently took ahold of the boy's sleeve and started to guide him towards the door.

"She kicked me and then sh-she went of with him," he muttered, still in disbelief.

"Yes, she did," Cordelia burst out finally, unable to stand it anymore, "she did and you beyond deserved it."

"What?" Xander asked in mild shock.

"Willow kicked you and you deserved it. You heard what I said," she stared at him, her eyes snapping dangerously, "I have never seen anyone be so completely selfish, callous and..and…JEALOUS in my entire life, Xander Harris. She's Willow for pete's sake and you completely tore her apart. I canNOT believe some of the things you said to her. You used her relationship with Ms. Calendar against her just because you were mad that she went ahead and did something without you. That she chose someone over you. You're not fooling anyone." With that, she walked past all three of them and slammed out the door.

"She's nuts," Xander spat painfully.

"But she's right," Buffy sighed softly, "We all handled that very badly. Poor Willow. Things like this always seem to happen to her. I'm going over to check up on her once we get you to the hospital, Xander. Afterwards, I suggest you go talk to Cordy."


*********

They had spent the last three hours talking. Again.

At first, she'd grilled him about his conversation with Buffy. In classic Willow style, she shoved her own problems out of the way in order to help him with his. All things taken together, she honestly felt that the Slayer couldn't be away from him for too long while knowing that he'd been changed back. She was a firm believer that Buffy would come to her senses and seek Angel out sooner or later.

Once they got past the events of the night, they got to talking about their respective childhoods and Willow learned some more about Angel's past. She cherished and treasured each and every anecdote and story he told her. Her eyes glittered when one ended and she laughed and urged him to tell her another. Feeling him starting to truly open up to her, she knew how precious and rare this was for him and she was grateful for every second of it.

He, in turn, relished in hearing about her normal, if somewhat sheltered childhood. He took joy in her enthusiasm as she related the scores of embarassing stories she had concerning Xander as well as the many adventures they'd had when they were younger.
She loves him so much. Angel realized with a vague tinge of anger That boy is so stupid and blind. If he'd ever had a chance at love as beautiful and innocent and complete as that, he'd hold onto it and never let it go. Xander's a foolish teenager. What the boy obviously saw as a gawky and slightly awkward sisterly figure, would in fact be a tall, graceful,
gorgeous young woman in a matter of a few years. Angel had seen it happen several times before. It wouldn't be until then when Xander would come to his senses, and at that point, Willow will have moved on. Well, it's his loss, the idiot, if he can't
see her for what she is… He turned his attention back to her animated gesturing and realized that she'd moved on to yet another story. Something about how, in fifth grade, she and Xander had taken to competing in "funny face making contests". She was in the process of demonstrating, actually when he'd switched back to fully paying attention and he burst out laughing at her crossed eyes and stuck out tongue. She looked mildly embarrassed until he suddenly mirrored her face and she joined in, erupting into a fit of giggles herself.

It was nearly five am when the threat of daybreak finally forced Angel to leave.

She walked him to the door and leaned against the frame while smiling up at him, "This was fun, Angel, thank you for this. Thank you for being there when no one else was."

He could tell that she honestly meant it and he simply smiled back at her, "I could say the same exact thing to you."

"Hey, Angel, how come you never dance? Fast dance, I mean…" she asked suddenly.

He chuckled softly. Her mind was still quite an enigma to him. He didn't quite understand just where her random questions came from or how they were connected in her head but by now he'd grown used to her ability to surprise him. Besides, he didn't mind answering them nearly as much anymore.

Thinking about it for a few moments, he shrugged carelessly, "I honestly don't know. I just haven't in a fairly long time and I guess that recently, I haven't really felt like it."

She nodded at him seriously, "Well you know, you should. Dancing is good for the soul."

He shook his head good-naturedly and started walking down the porch. She waved goodbye and watched him go until he stopped suddenly on the steps and turned to her.

"Hey, Willow.."

"Yes?"

He looked slightly thoughtful before smiling at her again, "You know, you have a beautiful soul."

And with that, he walked away, humming softly to himself before finally disappearing from her view.

****************

Part 14

She sat listlessly on the couch in the darkened room, watching reruns of Forever Knight.
How pathetic am I? Moaning softly, she reached over for the romote and flipped
through a few more channels before flicking the TV off and closing her eyes.

The past three days had gone a lot better than she could ever have hoped, and yet, she was still inexplicably depressed. Giles had called her less than five minutes after Angel left that day. He rather awkwardly apologized for his behavior and informed her that Xander's jaw, though it would be bruised and sore for several days, was not, in fact, broken. This piece of news was beyond joyful for Willow who'd been truly scared that she'd done actual damage to him.

Next came a visit from Buffy who spent several hours simply talking with Willow about Angel and how he felt and trying to sort out how she felt and the entire relationship mess. It was almost like old times.

After her conversation with Buffy, Willow had crawled upstairs and into her bed and had almost literally passed out, not to awaken until early evening. She missed saying goodbye to Amy who would be gone to Canada for two or three days and she regretted that but she sorely needed to catch up on sleep.

She'd spent the rest of that night alone, since Buffy went over to visit Angel and they'd "talked". Judging from the brief phone conversation she'd had with him and the email she got from Buffy, she knew that they were patching up their relationship slowly, but surely.

Lastly, came the dreaded conversation with Xander, which hadn't really taken place until a few hours ago. He was fairly quiet throughout and she wasn't sure whether or not it was because of her or because his jaw still hurt but something told her that all had not quite been forgiven. She knew him well and from the tone of his voice she could tell that he was still deeply hurt and felt betrayed by what she'd done. Well, he'll just have to deal she thought, inexplicably annoyed and frustrated with herself. Why the heck am I in such a bad mood? Life couldn't have been any better…Xander wasn't injured, Giles forgave me, and Buffy and Angel were back together…everything is back to normal. Then why do I feel so disgusted?

Sighing, she rose and walked upstairs only to flop down again on her bed.

"Oh gross," she muttered under breath as she stared at her reflection in the mirror across the room. Lack of sleep had caused dark circles to form around her eyes. With her pale complexion, she looked as if she had two huge bruises on her face. The injury she'd sustained from the arrow in the library stood out badly as well. It was relatively small, but somewhat painful when she blinked. She still hadn't figured out exactly how she was going to explain it to her parents.

Standing, she scrutinized her full body, "Ew. I'm all arms and legs an-and this teeny-weeny head. I look like a spider or something." Her long red locks drooped lifelessly at her shoulders. "Look at me. Bad hair. Bad clothes. Bad…everything." She flopped backwards onto her bed in frustration, "I am the ugliest human being alive."

The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. Growling and muttering under her breath, she reached for it Maybe it's Xander wanting to go for round two…

"Hello?" she asked dully.

"Willow? It's Cordelia."

"Chase?"

"Umm..yes."

The hacker's green eyes widened slightly as she sat up and tugged the phone closer to her ear, "Cordelia? Is something wrong? Is Xander okay?" she demanded.

"Who? What? Xander? Yes, of course Xander's okay. No, this has nothing to do with Xander."

She relaxed a bit, "Oh…okay."

"I was just calling to see…ahh…how you were doing."

Who are you and what have you done with Cordelia Chase? "Wow, well, I'm doing just fine now. I talked to Xander and to Buffy and to Xander and they're all okay, which was a big relief. I-it was very thoughtful of you to call."

"Actually, I also wanted to ask you something."

A ha. Ulterior motive. I should have known. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, go ahead."

"I was wondering if you'd like to..umm…sleep over my house this Friday."

Willow almost dropped the phone, "W-what?"

"I mean, as long as you're not busy or anything," the other girl rushed on sounding somewhat embarrassed, "I'm only asking because I know that your parents are out of town. It's really gotta suck to be all by yourself in your house, especially considering everything that's happened."

Could it be possible that Cordelia Chase actually has a conscience? Nah.
"W-well, it was very nice of you to ask, Cordelia, but I think I'll manage by myself."

"Oh."

Was it her imagination or did the other girl actually sound disappointed? "I also wouldn't want to impose on you or anyth-,"

"You wouldn't be imposing at all. Actually, I was kinda looking forward to um…I dunno, getting to know you a little better I guess…."

This time, Willow did drop the phone.

Scrambling to pick it up quickly she managed to entangle herself in the cord, "Get t-to know me?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, it looks like we have a lot in common."

"Like?" the redhead challenged skeptically, trying to disengage the plastic wire from around her ankle.

There was silence as Cordelia thought about the question, "Xander."

Willow paused. Good point. "That's true."

"So, you in?" she was growing tired of this game.

"I guess so." The hacker agreed reluctantly.

"Coolness, I'll see you then."

"Great."

"Laters," Cordelia replied shortly before hanging up.

Willow simply stared at the phone in her head. Just when I thought life couldn't get any
weirder…

*********************************

He felt guilty.

There was a shocker.

Angel rolled over on his bed to stare at the ceiling. The shades were firmly pulled throughout the apartment making it almost pitch-black.

Buffy had come over to talk to him yesterday morning, just like Willow promised.
In fact, he had a sneaking suspicion that Willow had a lot to do with her visit. The slayer had even come back at night after her patrols. Yes, he was really starting to patch things up with Buffy and yet he still felt this gnawing guilt which couldn't really be attributed to anything in particular. He realized, with an odd pang of emptiness, that he hadn't seen Willow for the past few days. At least not since the morning she'd invited him in. He should really call her to see how she was doing.

But he couldn't.

Every time he tried to pick up the phone to call her or went to his door to go visit her, or even thought about her, he felt instantly guilty. Almost as if he were being unfaithful somehow.

It didn't make any sense at all.

Granted she was brilliant, honest, sincere, funny, strong and comfortable to be around. And yes, she was also generous, tender, sweet, innocent and kind. Of course even he had to admit that she was pretty…well, beautiful was probably more accurate, especially when she smiled.

Remembering her bright and sometimes mischievous smiles, Angel soon found himself grinning. The instant he became conscious of it, of course, he stopped.

And while it was true that she'd risked her own life to save his on at least three separate occasions, there wasn't any chance in hell that he had actual feelings for her. No, Willow was a pal, a confidant, a friend. That was it. He cherished her companionship more than anyone else's. There was no way what he was feeling was anything beyond simple friendship. With Buffy…well, it was pretty different. Extremely different, in fact. From the instant he'd set eyes on the stunning blonde slayer, he'd fallen head over heels for her. Love at first sight, that's what that had been. The first times their eyes had met, the first time she'd ever touched him…it had set his whole body on fire.

With Willow, it wasn't like that. It was completely the opposite. The situation was very simple. He had been in trouble and she'd stepped in. He was grateful that's all.

Exactly.

Just friendship and companionship, nothing more.

Yes.

She was merely a confidant. Someone to turn to when things weren't going too well.

Absolutely.

Hmmm….

This could be a problem.

Feeling a slight prickling sensation at the bottom of his spine, Angel turned his attention to the door seconds before someone started banging on it.

"Coming," he called, pausing to pull a shirt on over his head. Maybe it's Willow!

Pushing a few articles of clothing under his bed and absently tiding up the apartment, he made his way towards the door. Quickly, he whipped it open.

"Oh, Buffy."

Abruptly suppressing the automatic flash of disappointment, he held the door open a bit wider, "Shouldn't you be on patrol or something?"

"Yeah, well, hi to you too," she replied, obviously agitated and clutching her neck.

"Is everything ok-,?" he began as she roughly pushed past him and headed into his apartment.

"Okay? Well, no, not really," she called over her shoulder before entering the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind her.

"Buffy?" he followed her curiously, "Buffy what's going on?"

There were several seconds of silence as he stood by the locked door and listened to the water running from within.

Finally, the blonde slayer emerged with a white bandage around the left side of her delicate throat.

Angel's eyes widened, "Are you alright??"

The slayer snickered slightly to herself before taking a seat on the sofa, "As 'alright' as you can be after being bitten by a vampire."