Title: Raging Numb
Autor: CrashOverride
Rating: PG-13 for Language.
Disclaimer: Normal stuff, I dont own GW.
Author's Note: This is for Anime Echo and Deathwraith, for their reviews. Thanks much for C&C. I'll try to get another part out for you guys, soon. Enjoy. ^_~
Part II: Mission: Failure
All eyes were on me. At first I thought they were going to all pounce on me if I spoke or twitched not their liking. Even Trowa, expressionless Trowa, wore a look of anger, green eye blazing. It was odd though, to have Quatre, the innocent angel as I call him, the one that will forgive anything, glaring with what seemed to be nothing but anger. Grinning skeptically and raising an eyebrow, I locked my gaze with every set of eyes waiting for a response, the deafening silence and tension could be cut with a knife.
"…Hey guy's! How's it goin? How is everyone? Trowa? Quatre? Wufei? Heero? Hmm? …" I asked my voice calm with inflections of happiness.
"It's more like what you didn't do Maxwell!" Wufei growled with pure hate, as my face contorted into a blank stare. 'What did I forget…. Yesterday…. The 12th….what did I…OH SHIT. The mission….shit shit shit shit….God damn it!… calm Duo …. Calm… it was a solo mission… you can do it tonight… right now… you just have to explain…. Make up a lie… a story… something….something they will believe….' Scratching the back of my head lightly I grinned.
" Sorry guys, I…uh… completely forgot… I can go do it tonigh-
"No need" Heero interrupted, " I already did it. Mission accomplished." Nodding dumbly, I searched each of their faces. Once anger now replaced with disappointment.
"Once again Maxwell, you prove to be unworthy of Deathscythe Hell ." Wufei reprimanded before leaving. Quatre shook his head while Trowa, was once again, emotionless mask. Heero, turned from me and began typing on his laptop, ' mission report probably. Damn it… stupid Duo…. Stupid…..' Sighing, I walked over to the closet, pulled out a large black shirt, and striped down to my silk black boxers, before throwing on the t-shirt, climbing on my bed, laying on my stomach and booting up 'little death' my new laptop. Inserting the disk from yesterday, I began finishing what I started.
The only people who ever got a small glimpse of the real me was when I first met Heero and Relena. But then again that was but a glimpse..... At the time I don't think either would have realized. What a pity for them.
Today, the 13th , I screwed up, first for hiding away last night and forgetting a solo mission, then I come back and get told by my 'friends' that I am a screw up. Well what else is new. It's hard to believe, even with the anger and disappointment that they all shared, that the numbness increased but the rage simmered down. I couldn't really understand it, but none the less, it was odd. It became easier I guess, with less rage, I would have to use so much energy keeping it in check, while putting up the jester mask.
Its funny really, while I was out yesterday, there was such a mask, in the window to a costume shop. A white mask with large grinning red lips, shining black eyes, with a tear drop painted under the left eye, a jester cap with bells at the end of each point. When I saw it, I stared stunned by its symbolize idea. I began laughing then, almost hysterically, in the middle of the street at 1 am. No one there to really stare at the seemingly insane person. But… back to love.
I am still at the crossroad, where I can't seem to find out if I am in love or lu-
"Duo? What are you doing?"
Closing my eyes and sighing deeply, I save the file to the disk once again and slide the disk into its hiding place, shutting down 'little death' and placing it back on my night stand, I sat up looking at Heero. ' Well Heero… I am writing down my thoughts for my own personal safety so that I don't go nuts cooped up in all these damn schools, with you and the others DURING THIS FUCKING WAR WHILE I AM NUMB AND PISSED OFF TO THE POINT OF SHOOTING A CLIP INTO YOUR LOVER OVER THERE!' I thought staring at him incredulously.
"Not a thing Heero… Just going to bed." I responded, tearing my eyes away from the icy cobalt piercing stare and climbing under the covers. With my back faced to him, I willed myself into my dream-state of nightmares and voids, of blackness and death. Unconsciously curling into a tight ball, as the blackness and fog rolled in.
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CrashOverride: That's all for now.... Soon another part will be put up... I am working on it right now... so it should be with you in a day or two.... maybe in a few hours... ^^ Thanks for those who review, and I will see you later Minna!!!