Title: Raging Numb
Author: CrashOverride
Rating: This chapter is PG
Warnings: Its short.... I know...
XIII: Lost pages
Its been about a week since I left, I know they are all searching for my but only one person knows where I am, and he is still to ignorant to figure it out. However it will probably a little late when they do find me. Currently I am not on Earth, not am I at a colony. Deathscythe is still with the others, so I am just drifting. Never really moving but hovering around this one area. It's peaceful you know. In the silence of space, at any time I can look at the Earth or the colonies. Some times I wonder what it is that really makes me the one that lives this life. I think that now I would have rather died with Solo. Then I could be in the arms of someone I loved. But no, I had to live. Had to help with the war. Had to be part of this awful plan for 5 teens to go up against Oz and win, for peace. I do not see the point nor the planning that the scientists did to come up with this. I know that it is hard to endure the war, the way we are, with the continuing changing of allies and rules. It is now that I wish for a place that I could call home. I place to hide. Or maybe just a place in which can hold all the things dear to me. It is beyond the normal illusion of life that I have seemed to make contact. It is not necessarily life I want to save, but the ideals and prosperity of life, in which seems to hold my complete attention.
It is in space now, in the silence, of the vast midnight, I contemplate what has happened, and look at it through the eyes of another being, as I can see that no matter what I do, I will never be able to forget about what happens, but I believe I might just be able to make it less painful.
I remember once within the past year, a memory that seems to have not faded with time, but grown brighter. It was during a light rain while, we all, were in Japan on a mission that I noticed a small tattoo parlor. Of course, the minute the idea came to mind, Heero's monotone, came up in my mind, reminding me, quite viciously that such a mark with make us easier to target when even caught. However I fought such logic and told him of a place that was inconspicuous, which a small tattoo could be placed. So much against decision, I took us all, to the shop the next day and had us branded. Of course, Heero being the mundane man he is, only had the kanji for Soldier branded upon his skin, while Wufei had Nataku, Quarte had Life, Trowa had Tiger, and I, myself, picked Death. All... I must admit, were beautiful in their own way. From complex to simplistic, I realized then that we were all completely different however equally the same. We were a paradox in its self.