Author: CrashOverride

Rating: PG-13 (Mild cussing)

A.N.: I know I know, It isn't much but I am trying to get the ball rolling with everything that I want to do with this fic! I hope you enjoy, though I promise you all that I will not write anymore if I don't get some Reviews. Thanks much.. Crash.

XIV: Voices of the Conscience

Their wretched voices slithered into my dreams. Not the lost souls of the people I killed. Not loved ones that I have lost. Not even the bastards that abused me. No. None of them, though I would have rather heard their repulsive voices then those of the friends I abandoned. Yes, their voices calling to me, worry and concern woven through their words. Lost. That is what they sounded like. With each word that was spoken, my heart shatters more and more. Though I know their pain and suffering is my entire fault. However I will wither in my pain, and I will suffer for their suffering. It will continue to be my punishment.

// But do you really need to suffer? //

Yes.

// Why?//

It is my action's consequence.

// Then why most the others suffer also? //

I did not want them too... I do not want them too...

// Then why are you here alone, leaving them in pain. They care. //

I know but they care too much. I am a burden on all of them.

// No. No, you're not and you know it. You just don't want to lose them like Sister Helen, Solo and Father Maxwell. You are scared. You fear their disapproval, You worry constantly. Just like them, you love each one for different reasons. But they are all your family. Would you ever make, Sister Helen or Father Maxwell suffer as you are making them suffer right now? //

...no...no I would not.

// Would you put Solo through the pain and torment you are putting Heero through and Quatre. How about Wufei and Trowa, are they not worthy enough for your compassion and love? //

That's not why I DID THIS! I WANTED TO PROTECT THEM! I DON'T WANT THEM TO SUFFER LIKE I HAVE. I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE THEM PAIN. YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM. OR WHAT THEY ARE TO ME! YOU ARE BUT A DUMB VOICE IN MY HEAD!

// Hit a note? You are guilt ridden. You run away from everything. You ran away from the church. You ran away from G. Now you runaway from friends for simply giving a damn about like the other three did. Now you runaway from Heero because you love him and you are scared to death. Your soul is trembling! You are a disgrace to the name Shinigami. You are pitiful. You can't even be a soldier now can you? What will you do? Stay here for the rest of eternity, hoping that no one will find you? Tell what kind of life is that? Hmm? Life means taking risks! Life means NOT running away. Life means taking a stand and fighting for what you want! It means trusting and loving people unconditionally. It means taking the good with the bad with the knowledge that is will get better. Tell me what life you will be leading? A life of death? Or a life of living? //

I... I..

~ Mansion / Safe House ~

Nervously, Quatre stepped into Heero's room. Since Duo left, Heero's been a bit ... edgy.

"Heero..?"

"Hn?" Heero grunted from his spot in front of the laptop, with other diverting his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Quatre asked softly, stepping further into the room.

"Searching."

"Duo... He will come back Heero.... He-

"He is on his way already Quatre." Heero stated icily, glaring at the small blonde.

"H-he's.. h-he's what?" he stuttered.

"I can feel him. Something is coming. Fast. I believe it is Duo, if not then Oz. But I know he is coming." Turning back to the glowing green screen, Heero tuned Quatre out, simply not caring if the blonde had anything further to say.

* Duo is coming, I know he is... I just hope he comes soon.....* Heero thought before concentrating fully on where the braided pilot was.